Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[George Floyd Sneed]

I find it funny that she acts as if her family forced her to have Rylee - Tess was 19/20 when she got pregnant. While that's young (but not really in the grand scheme of things), that's still an adult having a baby and a lot of other white trash moms do it.

But I guess we know how she "convinced" her mom/grandmother to take care of Rylee for so many years - endless crying about how they forced her to have the baby...

It’s interesting that Tess either criticizes or ignores her mother and her side of the family while cozying up to Dear Old Dad and his side of the family. The same shit she pulls with Nick. In Ryann’s world, you are either 100% with her or 100% against her. Definitely speaks to the likelihood that some shit went down between her and her mother’s side of the family, likely when she was at the hospital back in July. Still no word from the Tubbster about how she’s doing…

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

My girlfriend and I were sitting down to watch television once and she opened up the YouTube app on the streaming box. She saw that my past four or five searches had been for strings such as:

"Tess Holliday"
"Tess Holliday fat"
"Tess Holliday outside"
"Tess Holliday walking"
"Tess Holliday eating"

I said "oh that's just this internet thing" and grabbed the remote to put on MST3K. To this day she probably thinks I have some sort of BBW fetish but I figure that's better than having to explain to her what Kiwi Farms is.

I only browse kf and kf related topics in incognito mode these days. It's mildly annoying to have to log in again every time I open the site but I usually want to forget whatever horrifying thing I googled asap and also never run into this kind of situation ever

 

[multiverse]

It’s interesting that Tess either criticizes or ignores her mother and her side of the family while cozying up to Dear Old Dad and his side of the family. The same shit she pulls with Nick. In Ryann’s world, you are either 100% with her or 100% against her. Definitely speaks to the likelihood that some shit went down between her and her mother’s side of the family, likely when she was at the hospital back in July. Still no word from the Tubbster about how she’s doing…

Her mother dared to have her own problems - a series of strokes - which prevents Ryann from getting attention and childcare from her. Also, her mom is now likely rehabbing from her stokes, which is hard work each day, and other people read Ryann the riot act when she showed up to take selfies and shout at doctors instead of actually helping in any way.

So Ryann huffed away fatly to reconnect with the father she hadn't spoken to in decades, because he's currently grateful and dead chuffed that she reached out and is love bombing him and his family. We'll see how effective she's been when she tries to drop Bowie off with them next summer.

 

[glib]

Just remember, everyone.

One fine day in the not-so-distant future, Rylee is going to be the person who picks the nursing home Tess is going to spend the remaining days of her life in.

Think about that.

You really think so? How many gigantic old women do you see in nursing homes?

 

[thriphhole]

You really think so? How many gigantic old women do you see in nursing homes?

They exist, they are just not so old, usually in their 40's and 50's....must be that is the "golden years" for a death fat.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

You really think so? How many gigantic old women do you see in nursing homes?

Tess won't live into her 60s, and I've seen many youngish death fats in nursing homes. They're there because they've broken a foot or ankle, and have remained bed bound from then on.

 

[AbraCadaver]

Tess won't live into her 60s, and I've seen many youngish death fats in nursing homes. They're there because they've broken a foot or ankle, and have remained bed bound from then on.

Well I think that’s a likely scenario for “crammed into silly heels for deluded selfies” Tess.

One day she’ll be in front of her mirror in her bedroom in another absurd outfit that’s two sizes two small, mooing and preening into her phone’s camera while she gets her flabby chestarse out for another cakejohn fishing expedition on Instagram. She arranges the mid-tier sorta-suburban-Karen-luxury brand heels on the floor and wobbles her way onto them, back leg trembling with effort as she tries to do the one-leg-behind-her “slimming pose” for the camera. While distractedly staring into her mirror and practicing her best jaw-drop fish face expression, her wobbling back leg goes sideways and she takes a hard spill.

From in front of the telly, Bowie hears, “BOOOOOOOWIEEEEEE, get in hurrrrrr!!! Mama fell DOWWWWWNNN!” Sadly, Bowie can do fuck all about her broken ankle and possibly fractured hip that took a massive impact from the sheer g force of all that weight crashing down onto her side, so she dials 911.

Six months later, she is still in bed “recuperating,” having eaten her boredom and frustrations away during the entire ankle-healing process and gained even more weight.

What would happen to her sugarcow status then? Cakedaddy isn’t going to be happy that she can’t put out, unless he enjoys the immobility that her ankle imposes on her and comes over to stuff her full of even more junk while she’s bedbound.

 

[NoReturn]

The irony of playing this song over footage of her great hoof unwrapping a shitty magazine from ebay - in light of her overall situation about which we have been discussing up to this point - is rather deep.

 

[Slurm Queen]

View attachment 2522856
The irony of playing this song over footage of her great hoof unwrapping a shitty magazine from ebay - in light of her overall situation about which we have been discussing up to this point - is rather deep.

She must be particularly impressed with her trashy nails, considering she’s focusing half the damn video on her swollen hooves instead of, ya know, the actual photos in the magazine she (or one of her feeders) bought.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

When Tubby Tess becomes bedbound, that’s when it’s time to revitalize her career. The first permanently bedbound supermodel! Look how stunning and brave she is! Flabletics better make designer tarps and muumuus for their HAES customer base they’ve been courting these last few years.

@AbraCadaver I agree with you but there is one detail to change: Ryann calls her kids bubba, not their real names. She admitted this was her nickname for both kids and it was up to the kids to figure who she wanted when she bellowed out to them. Just one of many reasons why it was unlikely Rylee was dragged out kicking and screaming from the apartment.

I think she also would gain access to a new fetish market for bedbound feedees. Probably not as lucrative but she would likely make some of that up with additional government benefits. Tess is going to expect society to foot the bill once she becomes bedbound, which is ironic considering she’ll likely have her feet removed in the near future.

 

[FuckDuckSeagull]

LoL Ryann wishes she could pull an Anna-Nicole - marry a rich old guy and live off his money till the end of times.

ANS was a textbook bombshell and even at her fattest she wasn't a deathfat. Does Ryann think she can land a marriage as a trophy wife as a near immoble deathfat?

 

[multiverse]

Does Ryann think she can land a marriage as a trophy wife as a near immoble deathfat?

She certainly believes she deserves to have that be her happily ever after. This was why she started the rumor that her broke ass gay boy feeder ex husband was a millionaire businessman; she didn't want to admit he was a penniless artist for all the tea in China. It doesn't fit her self image. This is how she sees herself.


To Ryann, being a rich housewife with servants and nannies is the ultimate achievement. It's not going to happen - she's lucky to get by as a shameful paid sidepiece - but it's what she wants. Never mind that being a trophy wife means being a permanent fuck doll who can get kicked around whenever the husband is in a bad mood.

Anyway, here's Tess having delusions of being remembered by legions of fans when she keels over in her early 50s. Social media has an attention span of a few years at best, but Ryann has visions of being immortalized for creating a hashtag for fats.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

Tess will best be remembered as the 400+ pound freak show who claimed to be anorexic, assuming she doesn’t do something even more dumb and desperate between now and her rapidly shortening life. There are so many plus-size models who have eclipsed her accomplishments (not like that’s a challenge lol) that she’s not even footnote status. In a previous generation, she’d just be one of many freaks her pal Ricki Lake would have paraded around for our amusement. Nobody remembers Random Freak #3 on an episode of Ricki Lake in 1996 and nobody will remember Tess.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

Tess wishes she could be ANYTHING like ANS.

ANS had true beauty, and didn't take herself too seriously, and she cared more for her son than Tess ever will her own children. And like @ FuckDuckSeagull said above, Anna was nowhere NEAR Tess's size at her heaviest.

 

[Internet's Boyfriend]

I got this from her stories just over 48 hours ago, didn't seem relevant until now.
Poor Rylee.
View attachment 2513793

I don't get this. Children setting boundaries makes sense because some parents can be overbearing and treat their kids like they're still 5, but what would a parent need to set boundaries for? It's extra stupid because her oldest is 15. Like yeah, he should be becoming more independent now but 15 year olds still need their parents.

Feels like "setting boundaries" to Tess means telling her kids to fuck off and leave Mommy alone while she's eyefucking herself and taking selfies for instagram.

She must be particularly impressed with her trashy nails, considering she’s focusing half the damn video on her swollen hooves instead of, ya know, the actual photos in the magazine she (or one of her feeders) bought.

I think she's just covering the nudity in the pictures.

Watching her rub her undoubtedly greasy hands all over that Playboy is triggering me. You gonna buy a presumably rare, presumably expensive 20 year old magazine that's in great condition and then treat it like that? What's wrong with you?

 

[NoReturn]

@NeoGAF Lurker
When Tubby Tess becomes bedbound, that’s when it’s time to revitalize her career. The first permanently bedbound supermodel! Look how stunning and brave she is!

---

 

[Cheesegirl78]

For someone that claims she's SO not bothered by remarks people make about her size, she sure does post a shitload of videos to prove she's not bothered.

I'm not bothered at ALL, Tess. When you fall and are bedbound for the remainder of you short life, or you're hospitalized from your first heart attack, I'm going to point, laugh, and say "we told you so!"

And hopefully your sugar daddy is paying for your healthcare, but knowing you, you're grifting the state for it. But that's par for the course for you, innit it?

 

[Barbarella]

Real dude or tik tok thing?

 

[Water-T]

I think Tess' "boundaries" comment means that Rylee caught wind of her "I WANTED TO ABORT YOU!" post, and she refused to take it down after he asked her to.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

I think Tess' "boundaries" comment means that Rylee caught wind of her "I WANTED TO ABORT YOU!" post, and she refused to take it down after he asked her to.

I think it's more like Bowie asking her to read him a bedtime story, or wanting her to take him to the park to play, but she's too busy eyefucking herself/farting on cakes, so Bowie needs to respect HER boundaries.

How dare that little brat expect her to actually mother him? He better learn his damn place, or she will dump him so fast his head will spin!