DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

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"It's been mentioned many times before but it's why his streams have got incredibly boring. He has set up his game choices to be piss easy and boring. And any sort of challenge is being handheld with chat and behind-the-scenes guides. Which leads to TIHYDP going down in production."

@SkippyLongbottom

Honestly, the weirdest thing is that we were able to pinpoint the exact playthrough where it would get shit, and it was 100% correct. And since then TIHYDP has been shit.

The new God of War for the record.
 
He does cry about normal, everyday stuff all the time anyway, literally anything else would be more interesting than hearing him rant about the service he received at whatever restaurant he went to that day for the hundredth time.
I can't wait until he reads the thread now or one of his money creatures tells him about it and he starts claiming that his SHITHEAD TROLLS are now planning to STALK, ABDUCT and TORTURE him on his day ahf! See what I mean? That's how MENTALLY FUCKED IN THE HEAD my TROLLS are! Then one of his fellow Guntlemen like Tipster or RTU are gonna make a video defending him.

Deranged and paranoid Phil with a massive persecution complex is the best Phil
 
hair loss - glasses - overweight

Phil hates RTU because he is becoming him just without the viewer base and having a family that's not a cat
I heard that RTU is getting divorced. Not sure if that is true. If so that would be another thing Phil would fear: loosing his live-in maid (though if said maid is doing any real housework is questionable at this point)

And Phil: here is a friendly non-monetary tip: drop the gin you are sounding more and more pathetic. Or think of better jokes ffs.
 
You gotta love these 2 am gin tweets? WTF is this even means?

Also, talking about "occupying the worlds bandwidth" from the guy who uploaded 60000+ worthless videos to youtube.

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I’d fucking love it if Youtube instigated some new archiving/video spamming abuse policy.

Got 30.000 videos uploaded that few people ever watch? Sorry, but you can’t use YouTube as your personal free backup. Pony up and pay for all of that HD space!

It would piss Phil off endlessly and probably lead to a “save the archive!” massive begathon.

Still, I’m curious what would ultimately win out. Phil’s ego or his greed?

Would he pony up 1-300$ a month to keep up the delusional “muh legacy” claims? Or just complain how YouTube are morahns and shitheads who deleted his 60.000 videos from now until he’s standing in the breakfast line in his homeless shelter?


REAL GAMER Y’ALL!

So Phil is finally publicly admitting what we’ve been saying for a long as time. He lost interest in gaming a long time ago, and is basically doing something he hates/tolerates for cash.

The upcoming prestream should be good for baiting him into long rants and “That’s what I said but I didn’t mean it!

Purely hypothetically, getting Phil to abandon his precious weekly shopping trip five minutes in by loudly and proudly announcing the arrival of The Guy would be pretty great.
Exactly my man! Exactly!

I don’t quite understand that “meh, trolling Phil IRL will be pointless and boring!”

Would we get an IRL Streetfighter match between Phil and his detractor with kicks, throws and “HARYUKEN!!”?!

No.

Would we get to see a panicked Phil go into maximum bitchmode and shuffle out as fast as possible?

Yes.

Would be entertaining?

Yes.

And surely more entertaining than seeing Phil beg for “muh bills” for the thousandth time.

As an added bonus we’d also see him bitch and moan and complain how Khat has to do all of his usual grown up errands by herself, since he can’t risk getting attacked by insane shitheads.
 
OK, it's confirmed now. DSP likes updating his schedule more than he likes videgames.
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You could have just got a job where you're not 100% dependant on the products these game developers create if you're so worried about what they're releasing when and how many trailers they're making or who's reviewing what. Like just be happy they are regularly giving you products to leach off in the first place.

Also this kind of stuff just shows how out of touch phil is with reality. Like no one who is actually busy with real life stuff like managing a career or raising a family or anything like that actually cares too much about the release dates of video games. He acts like release dates and reviews are this massive issue everyone should be upset about but most people are mature enough to realize its just a fucking video game and they'll get to play it when they get to play it.
 
I can't wait until he reads the thread now or one of his money creatures tells him about it and he starts claiming that his SHITHEAD TROLLS are now planning to STALK, ABDUCT and TORTURE him on his day ahf! See what I mean? That's how MENTALLY FUCKED IN THE HEAD my TROLLS are! Then one of his fellow Guntlemen like Tipster or RTU are gonna make a video defending him.

Deranged and paranoid Phil with a massive persecution complex is the best Phil

“Guys? I have a REALLY SERIOUS ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE, K?

*SNORT*

Now behind da scenes I’ve gotten ALOTTA emails from alotta peepul saying: ‘Phil, we really think you need to see this, this is EXTREMELY concerning! You’ll never guess what these psychopath shitheads are planning’, alright? And it looks like they, BEHIND DA SCENES are planning some REALLY FUCKED UP SHIT! Like RAPING KAT, planning ATTACKS ON ME ON MY DAY OFF, and other shit that’s just TOO CRAZY to go into!

*STRESS SNORT*

Now I’ve already spoken with police, they said: ‘Phil! It’s ok! We know you’re a famous Internet personality and Youtube streamer! We got your back, don’t worry!’

*T-POSE INTO BEGGING COMBO*

Now if you want to help, I’m eh, investing in a top of the line security system, so we’ve raised the tipgoal to 1000$ and making today into a marathon stream, sound good? Any tips will go towards mine and Khat’s and Jaspers security!”


EDIT: Btw, just saying: Judging by Phil’s reaction to having a cardboard penis sent to his house:

Any IRL trolling that successfully penetrates his safe space, will really grind his gears.
 
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Something people tend to forget about phil and why he isn't trolled irl.

He CLAIMS to leave the house once a week.

He claims a lot of things.

A few times some detractors figured out how he lied about going out either because he couldn't keep his lies straight and let it slip or something about his instagram, twitter and wwe champ usage while claiming to be super busy out and about.

Hes a paranoid shut in so ofc it's hard to troll him irl.

And to save a double post

His prestream is going to be unbearable with the flip flopping between Sony pony and xbox in the same sentence, to massive amount of fake fanning Alan wake, wolverine, kotor and spiderman.

He'll use kotor to shit on ff7r.

Someone will troll donate to mention the wolverine detractor meme and he'll get sidetrack which you know he never does about being a victim.

Will say really stupid wrong "facts" about the Sony conference.

Beg

Bitch about the Karls

Beg some more..

Hes getting way too predictable.
 
Something people tend to forget about phil and why he isn't trolled irl.

He CLAIMS to leave the house once a week.

He claims a lot of things.

A few times some detractors figured out how he lied about going out either because he couldn't keep his lies straight and let it slip or something about his instagram, twitter and wwe champ usage while claiming to be super busy out and about.

Hes a paranoid shut in so ofc it's hard to troll him irl.
I think it's more that people don't really expect Dave to be doing anything that exceptional on his day off. It's not like people won't stakeout someone's house and follow em, we saw it happen plenty of times with people going to Chris Chan's house.

Only with Dave there isn't the allure of catching him doing something dumb, just see him waddling around spending money he doesn't have. We've seen that in any situation where Dave isn't in complete control he'll just nope out at the slightest hint of confrontation, so there isn't really a chance of getting him to do anything besides run away.
 
Something people tend to forget about phil and why he isn't trolled irl.

He CLAIMS to leave the house once a week.

He claims a lot of things.

A few times some detractors figured out how he lied about going out either because he couldn't keep his lies straight and let it slip or something about his instagram, twitter and wwe champ usage while claiming to be super busy out and about.

Hes a paranoid shut in so ofc it's hard to troll him irl.

And to save a double post

His prestream is going to be unbearable with the flip flopping between Sony pony and xbox in the same sentence, to massive amount of fake fanning Alan wake, wolverine, kotor and spiderman.

He'll use kotor to shit on ff7r.

Someone will troll donate to mention the wolverine detractor meme and he'll get sidetrack which you know he never does about being a victim.

Will say really stupid wrong "facts" about the Sony conference.

Beg

Bitch about the Karls

Beg some more..

Hes getting way too predictable.
I think that with the way he talks about grocery shopping and the mall, he is actually going out to these places on his day off and its really the most exciting thing that happens in his life. Which is why it would be hilarious if trolls ruin his sacred weekly waddle through the mall.

It would be like him being booted from his wwe champions guilds. Like if he had to start driving an hour away to different stores after trolls scare him away from his normal spots. Imagine the salt when he has to completely change his day off routine trying to avoid trolls saying hi to him or asking if he's the guy or taking a picture of his grocery cart full of frozen dinners.

I want this discussion to make its way to phil either way even if no one actually tries to do any of it, just for the simple fact it would crank his paranoia up a few more notches if thinks someone may try to talk to him or find him on his day off.
 
“ I think that with the way he talks about grocery shopping and the mall, he is actually going out to these places on his day off and its really the most exciting thing that happens in his life.” @Coke Zero

Have you not been grocery shopping lately? It’s a fucking adventure. They have sample ladies on every fifth aisle with stuff like chicken tenders, you can broadcast dirty jokes through the intercom system, and they have pizza rolls in the frozen section. And if you’re lucky, every checkout lane has numerous candy bar options.
 
that's because for some bizarre reason Kiwifarms insisted on playing gatekeeper and protecting phil for a long time.

i know not directly interacting with the cow is a site wide rule, but numerous people have pointed out that for some reason the DSP section took it to the next level.

i have no desire to directly interact with phil. but if someone wants to send cops to his house at 3am? go for it. by all means, it'd be funny. chase him out of the fuckin' fred meyers dressed up as hulk hogan, the possibilities are endless and hilarious.
There's absolutely nothing bizarre about insisting on no trolling plans directives. For a vast majority of site users, the need to be able to say "My hands are clean from messing with this or any of the other zoo animals on display," is of paramount necessity. I would not be a member of a site that attempts to fuck with people who have done nothing to me personally who are unable to stop behaving like a lolcow online where I can see it. If people feel differently, that's their choice, but they need to behave like assholes to strangers elsewhere so that those like myself can continue to observe and laugh in peace without being tainted with the same brush of :epik: loaded with fecal matter as the types DSP constantly attracts who leave a smelly trail of shit away from their passages. Phil also attracts an aggressively unfunny variant of ironic fan who can't stop being a try hard which is another important reason to keep that type of problem user away from the observers that make up the overwhelming majority of kiwifarmers here.
LSP is a good bloke, he got carried away but that happens. Let's face it, we all "pozload my neghole" in one way or another.

The Dave meme was started by some random bloke that tipped and by mistake(?) called DSP Dave. For some exceptional reason DSP got quite upset and people started calling him Dave. As with so many other things, he starts the things that annoy him the most.
His dad's name is Dave, it reminds him how he wants to fuck his mom.
 
Doordash delivers groceries. How much you want to bet Phil's "grocery shopping" is just him ordering doordash and playing WWE Champions?
I'm on the fence about this one. On the one hand it seems extremely plausible, but on the other he does make grocery shopping on his one day off a week sound like the legit only interesting and exciting thing to happen to him all week.
 
I'm on the fence about this one. On the one hand it seems extremely plausible, but on the other he does make grocery shopping on his one day off a week sound like the legit only interesting and exciting thing to happen to him all week.
Scrolling through doordash with his grocery list that Khet made seems like a big time chore that would take him all day to do so, I would think it would happen
 
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