Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Wernology]

He looks awful, another night crying? It doesn't look like he's introduced himself to the shower at Mallon Place since he moved in.

I'm starting to understand why he does the up the nose camera angle after seeing a few videos recently where he's pointing it directly at his face.

A normal person would do the top down angle to try and look slimmer, but he probably thinks that's too 'feminine' looking or some shit and got it in his fat head from a PUA that the up the nose angle conveys dominance.

Full on frontal just makes him look bloated, tired, and old as fuck.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

I'm starting to understand why he does the up the nose camera angle after seeing a few videos recently where he's pointing it directly at his face.

A normal person would do the top down angle to try and look slimmer, but he probably thinks that's too 'feminine' looking or some shit and got it in his fat head from a PUA that the up the nose angle conveys dominance.

Full on frontal just makes him look bloated, tired, and old as fuck.

The pads of fat above his upper eyelids are getting enormous; it's almost as puffy looking as when he rubbed the foot cream on his face, and had a massive allergic reaction, that it took him about 3 weeks to come down from.

What sort of sodium retention, water retention, Frito retention, something is causing his eyes to be practically swallowed by doughy layers of fat.

The whiteness of this area of skin above his eyes gives him an oddly feminine look, as if he's taken a bunch of eyeshadow highlighter and applied it underneath his brows to make them pop. It's very odd. Under the best of circumstances, Lucas is average looking, nondescript, unremarkable, but he has certainly managed to make his face uniquely horrifying, with a giant potato shape, chin bloat like a proud bullfrog, the aforementioned layers of fat around his eyes, accentuating his receding hairline by pulling it back into a little greasy rat tail, and shaving once every 6 months.

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

The pads of fat above his upper eyelids are getting enormous; it's almost as puffy looking as when he rubbed the foot cream on his face, and had a massive allergic reaction, that it took him about 3 weeks to come down from.

What sort of sodium retention, water retention, Frito retention, something is causing his eyes to be practically swallowed by doughy layers of fat.

The whiteness of this area of skin above his eyes gives him an oddly feminine look, as if he's taken a bunch of eyeshadow highlighter and applied it underneath his brows to make them pop. It's very odd. Under the best of circumstances, Lucas is average looking, nondescript, unremarkable, but he has certainly managed to make his face uniquely horrifying, with a giant potato shape, chin bloat like a proud bullfrog, the aforementioned layers of fat around his eyes, accentuating his receding hairline by pulling it back into a little greasy rat tail, and shaving once every 6 months.

I assumed the baggy eyes is from nonstop sobbing when he is alone.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

One of his more recent delusions is that he has a job as an "insult comic" when people give him $50 to humiliate himself on video for them.

I wonder if he knows he needs to report that income since he's on SSI (and allegedly SSDI according to him).

Lucas only does if he makes more than $85/month. He only did one month, and barely. Social security probably won't care, but his payee might. That may be why he's begging for food again.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

The pads of fat above his upper eyelids are getting enormous; it's almost as puffy looking as when he rubbed the foot cream on his face, and had a massive allergic reaction, that it took him about 3 weeks to come down from.

Is that what this was?

---

LOL, in this one he says that you don't have the right to go out in public and not be found attractive by the opposite sex.

That's a lot more blunt and to the point than he is these days.

 

[AbraCadaver]

View attachment 2528535

The pads of fat above his upper eyelids are getting enormous; it's almost as puffy looking as when he rubbed the foot cream on his face, and had a massive allergic reaction, that it took him about 3 weeks to come down from.

What sort of sodium retention, water retention, Frito retention, something is causing his eyes to be practically swallowed by doughy layers of fat.

The whiteness of this area of skin above his eyes gives him an oddly feminine look, as if he's taken a bunch of eyeshadow highlighter and applied it underneath his brows to make them pop. It's very odd. Under the best of circumstances, Lucas is average looking, nondescript, unremarkable, but he has certainly managed to make his face uniquely horrifying, with a giant potato shape, chin bloat like a proud bullfrog, the aforementioned layers of fat around his eyes, accentuating his receding hairline by pulling it back into a little greasy rat tail, and shaving once every 6 months.

Lol. Frito retention.

Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s exacerbated by his constant sobbing about his life.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

Retaining water is possibly the only thing Lucas is good and proficient at.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

Lucas just invented a new game.

I think Lucas believes he's like Mozart from Amadeus, creating this incredible art off the top of his head completely in the moment.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Lucas just invented a new game.

I think Lucas believes he's like Mozart from Amadeus, creating this incredible art off the top of his head completely in the moment.

Ever notice how hemp is always one of the materials in all of Lucas's creation games? Never cotton, never wheat, never rice, never barley; always just metal, and hemp.

It's like, you could sum up Lucas's identity by having a joint, in a half eaten bag of Fritos, with an underage porno magazine shoved in the remaining space, wrap the whole thing up and tape it together with a "Vote for Bernie" bumper sticker.

 

[Huge Fungus]

Lucas just invented a new game.

I think Lucas believes he's like Mozart from Amadeus, creating this incredible art off the top of his head completely in the moment.

Lucas's description of his game as "minimal luck" is objectively untrue when you consider the gameplay mechanics.

Whether or not you get the right materials for your machine component depends entirely on luck of the dice. The ability of players to arbitrarily choose whatever they want to be their machine (and presumably components) is retarded, but presents the only opportunity for strategy in the gameplay.
The game is ultimately a brain-teaser about thinking of a common system that has components made from the simplest materials possible (items on the list) and require the least refinement. One thoughtfully-chosen item could be a basketball court (hemp for the net, ore and oil for the hoop, wood for the backboard, rubber for the ball, tar and sand for the asphalt, and wood for the scoreboard).
How appropriate that Lucas's feral brain produced what is essentially a contest of caveman engineering (that he would surely lose).

It's not like this battle of the minds would be very enjoyable to play, though. With a one-in six chance at best of getting the right resource per roll, and there being six components per machine, and with each person's roll taking 30 seconds, each round of machine-building would take at minimum 36 minutes to complete. Six rounds of that lunacy to complete a whole game would take 3.5-4 hours if it was played very quickly, and probably much longer if attempted casually. A match of "Age of Steel" (nonsense name) would just be two autists rolling dice at each other for an excruciating 4+ hours, while periodically entertaining the same thought experiment every ~45 minutes. Smart, pretty, interesting girls would definitely never sit down for a match of this.

Lucas "Pedophile" Werner's board games have been progressively deteriorating in terms of complexity and coherence (previously not thought possible). This one isn't even a board game anymore, because it could be played with nothing but dice, a pen, and some scratch paper.
His schizomind is assigning attributes to these games that don't even apply, such as the buzzword "minimal luck". You're right, Lucas; people would be experiencing "minimal luck" if they ever ended up playing this!

ETA: Spelling

 

[WonderWino]

Lucas just invented a new game.

I think Lucas believes he's like Mozart from Amadeus, creating this incredible art off the top of his head completely in the moment.

Apparently he is unaware that name is taken:

Age of Steel: Recharge on Steam

"Age of Steel: Recharge" is a 2D strategy with a view from the side. You're taking the role of commander, who was entrusted the management of the military base. Your mission is to defend a base from the waves of enemies at any price.

store.steampowered.com

Its already the name of several games

 

[Wernology]

I love it when Lucas whines about "being doxxed" like he doesn't post shit like this that literally tells people where he is, posts his own phone number, posts his email address, posts videos that show street addresses & local landmark businesses that anyone can google, etc...

I just happened to notice this in his latest video and had a laugh.

 

[Cnaiur urs Skiotha]

I've noticed he's developed an obsession with the "Lime scooters", and incorporated them into his broader mythology.

I like how Lucas claims he knows why women reject him:

But no you're gonna disregard me because I don't have my own apartment yet. I see!

Like how in the fuck would he know this? He does not approach women except in very rare, manic states e.g. the HOC worker lady. He is not getting rejected for dates, meaning he is not in a situation where he can be told the reason, or can infer the reason from the woman's general demeanor. There is no woman. There are no women. He's talking about the women he looks at from across the street. I just have to keep constantly reminding myself of this fact because it's so bizarre. The women he doesn't talk to, who don't know he exists as anything other than a shambling form in their peripheral vision as they walk around downtown Spokane, won't date him because they're classist bitches who judge him for living in communal vagrant housing.

Like maybe this is stating the obvious as we acknowledge all the time that he is delusional, but think about what that really means. Lucas is too shy to have interactions with people, so he imagines (wildly wrongly) how those interactions would go, and then believes that (insert deranged idea) is how human interactions should and do work. He then believes this completely not only in the absence of evidence but in the presence of contradictory evidence in the form of the overwhelmingly negative reactions he gets socially and online. Like in "Panther Invasion" he talks about how chads just march into bars and announce "I want clitoris" with overwhelming confidence and dickswagger and just get swarmed by babes like an Axe bodyspray commercial. Lucas has never ever seen this happen, unless he hallucinated it. He imagined that that's how it would go simply because it felt right and fit the groove he has worn into his brain with his endless circular narrative. In the same video he talked about maybe kinda sorta wanting to go into a Post Street bar and check out the technique of these legendary alpha grayhairs. He will never do this. He will bitch in the streets and do nothing but deteriorate day by day. It's just so wild that he imagines scenarios, decides they're true, and confidently states them as fact on Youtube.

 

[IceQueen]

Apparently he is unaware that name is taken:

Age of Steel: Recharge on Steam

"Age of Steel: Recharge" is a 2D strategy with a view from the side. You're taking the role of commander, who was entrusted the management of the military base. Your mission is to defend a base from the waves of enemies at any price.

store.steampowered.com

Its already the name of several games

I also love how in one of the videos about this new game, he straight up admits that he can’t actually play board games for shit. He says “my goal is to make games that other people can beat me at, because I’m not very good at playing games, but other people like to beat me at games.” LMAO… I swear he reaches new levels of pathetic every damn day.

 

[wenttobermuda]

It always strikes me once in awhile while watching Lucas aver these absurd arguments into his phone that this circular logic is swirling around in his head every waking hour of his life. It is as if the video itself is his attempt to relieve the stress of his thoughts. His mind is like a pressure cooker and the video is a way to let some of the pressure out so he doesn’t explode.

His attempt at making board games seems to be the only thing outside of his zoomer poonaner obsession that he thinks about. Without it, he would be pacing around all day with no other thought than how to attain his gen z prize, how to unlock the mystery of age gapping and why he isn’t succeeding.

You can see in his eyes in these latest videos that it is all taking a major toll on him. Living with this singular minded obsession must be exhausting.

It almost seems, from what Lucas has shared with us, that zoomer puss puss is the prima facie of his consciousness, doesn't it? As if there is no room in his skull for anything but mating and eating. Perhaps the rocky, barren soil of his mind can support no other thoughts. While this is neither wholly accurate nor fair, it does speak to the intensity of his fixation.

We only see what Lucas chooses to expose, and he doesn't really have much to share with the public beyond "I'd like to fuck."

I agree with your assessment of Lucas's videos as release. LIn tone, subject matter and timing they are clearly the products of distress. Lucas is under intolerable pressure from his obsessions; it's like a parasite sucking him dry. It's quite the spectacle to watch one man's unsatisfied lust for young puss puss disintegrate him.

Ever notice how hemp is always one of the materials in all of Lucas's creation games? Never cotton, never wheat, never rice, never barley; always just metal, and hemp.

It's like, you could sum up Lucas's identity by having a joint, in a half eaten bag of Fritos, with an underage porno magazine shoved in the remaining space, wrap the whole thing up and tape it together with a "Vote for Bernie" bumper sticker.

That is a dandy Lucas starter pack, and I feel almost ungracious to attempt to add anything to it, but there's nothing in there that really screams "pseudo scientific pretensions" or "TELOMERES!," two key components of Lucas's public identity.

 

[Wernology]

I like how Lucas claims he knows why women reject him:

Like how in the fuck would he know this?

Remember, women rejected him when he had his own apartment too.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

I like how Lucas claims he knows why women reject him:

Like how in the fuck would he know this? He does not approach women except in very rare, manic states e.g. the HOC worker lady. He is not getting rejected for dates, meaning he is not in a situation where he can be told the reason, or can infer the reason from the woman's general demeanor. There is no woman. There are no women. He's talking about the women he looks at from across the street. I just have to keep constantly reminding myself of this fact because it's so bizarre. The women he doesn't talk to, who don't know he exists as anything other than a shambling form in their peripheral vision as they walk around downtown Spokane, won't date him because they're classist bitches who judge him for living in communal vagrant housing.

Like maybe this is stating the obvious as we acknowledge all the time that he is delusional, but think about what that really means. Lucas is too shy to have interactions with people, so he imagines (wildly wrongly) how those interactions would go, and then believes that (insert deranged idea) is how human interactions should and do work. He then believes this completely not only in the absence of evidence but in the presence of contradictory evidence in the form of the overwhelmingly negative reactions he gets socially and online. Like in "Panther Invasion" he talks about how chads just march into bars and announce "I want clitoris" with overwhelming confidence and dickswagger and just get swarmed by babes like an Axe bodyspray commercial. Lucas has never ever seen this happen, unless he hallucinated it. He imagined that that's how it would go simply because it felt right and fit the groove he has worn into his brain with his endless circular narrative. In the same video he talked about maybe kinda sorta wanting to go into a Post Street bar and check out the technique of these legendary alpha grayhairs. He will never do this. He will bitch in the streets and do nothing but deteriorate day by day. It's just so wild that he imagines scenarios, decides they're true, and confidently states them as fact on Youtube.

Time has almost no meaning to Lucas. He talks about things that happened in the past like they just happened.

 

[Wernology]

Here's today's trash!

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

It almost seems, from what Lucas has shared with us, that zoomer puss puss is the prima facie of his consciousness, doesn't it? As if there is no room in his skull for anything but mating and eating. Perhaps the rocky, barren soil of his mind can support no other thoughts. While this is neither wholly accurate nor fair, it does speak to the intensity of his fixation.

We only see what Lucas chooses to expose, and he doesn't really have much to share with the public beyond "I'd like to fuck."

I agree with your assessment of Lucas's videos as release. LIn tone, subject matter and timing they are clearly the products of distress. Lucas is under intolerable pressure from his obsessions; it's like a parasite sucking him dry. It's quite the spectacle to watch one man's unsatisfied lust for young puss puss disintegrate him.

That is a dandy Lucas starter pack, and I feel almost ungracious to attempt to add anything to it, but there's nothing in there that really screams "pseudo scientific pretensions" or "TELOMERES!," two key components of Lucas's public identity.

You're absolutely right on me for forgetting that one, and I must have been tired, because *Half empty bag of fritos"?

Lucas has never left anything half empty in his life... the starter pack demands an empty crumpled-up bag of Fritos that's been turned inside out and licked clean.

 

[Krathnami]

Here's today's trash!

I see he’s found another wall to stain with the grease from his foul mop