DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[Piece of Peace]

Phil loves to tell people that he knows and understands business. That's he's a student of business. That he has accreditation in business and therefore he knows better than anyone on his stream because of said education and the years of him running his stream.

I have said before on here that I know next to nothing about business. I feel the need to be more specific about this: I was laid off at my last job because (not by my choice or recommendation) I was put in charge of sales and operations of a product that the owner was trying to sell alongside his other business. I was fucking horrible at it. I don't have the charisma for it, I don't have the experience for it, not the interest for it, nor the personality and that is what wound up getting me laid off, among a myriad of other things (happy I don't have to work there anymore, frankly).

But at the very fucking least I, like literally everyone else who has ever used any form of commerce regardless of if it was using actual money or trying to swap something: if I want something from someone else and I don't want to steal it I need to offer them something of equal or greater value to them. Say, I want someone's money for instance. I can exchange a service that they can't or won't do on their own, I can sell them something I own, or if I'm feeling really Semitic about it, I can ask them for a loan and tell them I'll pay it back with interest.

What Phil wants...let me use an allegory:
A new restaurant (hopefully this makes it easy for Phil to understand) just opened in your town and it's big advertising campaign is that they serve food, free! The just ask that you consider tossing them a bit of cash after your meal, but otherwise they want to open this business because they love food.

You naturally decide to try the place out. When you get there, you are seated in a place that could at best be described as unappealing. Your server arrives and hands you a menu with a bunch of options on it and you're excited until you see all the options are just chicken soup with slightly different names. But hey, it's free chicken soup, and you get it and you weren't expecting much. Then the soup arrives. Though to call it soup is generous. It's mostly water with a bit of taste of chicken broth, like they dissolved a bit of chicken stock in a pot of way too much water. But still, it's free.

You finish your meal and go to leave, when a member of staff comes over and asks you if you'd like to give some money. While it might not have been the best meal, or the nicest place, it was still free and you'd feel bad if you didn't throw some money at them. So you give them 10-15 dollars only to have them scoff at the money. They ask you how much you think it costs to run a place like this. They point out the meal was free, so you should give them money so they can keep going. Whenever you try and point out to them that their food isn't very good, that the dining room itself is dirty and ugly, that the service and options for food are lacking, the staff just tells you that they've been working in this industry for a long time and know better than you. They then pivot it back to them needing that money to keep the doors of the place open.

Would you feel compelled to give them any money? Or are you thinking about places that you could give your money to and actually get something back worth while? And what if you articulated to the staff this very argument that if they want money, to actually offer some sort of food for the money, they tell you that they would but only if you tell them what you want, how to make it, source the materials, and then show the cook how to make it?

You'd go to Burger King next time. They might fuck up your burger, but at least you got. The fucking. Burger.

Amazing analogy, reminds me of those time share sales pitch things where they offer you something for free just to sit through a prestream sales presentation, and then pressure you like a mother fucker until you just give in and buy the damn time share lmao

 

[Nurse Ratchet]

@Draventren great post. You only forgot the part where after you question the staff member about this chicken shit outfit, he shuffles you out the door, locks it, calls the cops & then -only after he has the doors locked behind you & he's hiding in the mop closet- he screams "FUCK YOU UR BANNED & UR NEVER COMING BACK AH HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW DUH HUH HUH!!"

 

[TheGreatWhiteNorth]

Phil loves to tell people that he knows and understands business. That's he's a student of business. That he has accreditation in business and therefore he knows better than anyone on his stream because of said education and the years of him running his stream.

I have said before on here that I know next to nothing about business. I feel the need to be more specific about this: I was laid off at my last job because (not by my choice or recommendation) I was put in charge of sales and operations of a product that the owner was trying to sell alongside his other business. I was fucking horrible at it. I don't have the charisma for it, I don't have the experience for it, not the interest for it, nor the personality and that is what wound up getting me laid off, among a myriad of other things (happy I don't have to work there anymore, frankly).

But at the very fucking least I, like literally everyone else who has ever used any form of commerce regardless of if it was using actual money or trying to swap something: if I want something from someone else and I don't want to steal it I need to offer them something of equal or greater value to them. Say, I want someone's money for instance. I can exchange a service that they can't or won't do on their own, I can sell them something I own, or if I'm feeling really Semitic about it, I can ask them for a loan and tell them I'll pay it back with interest.

What Phil wants...let me use an allegory:
A new restaurant (hopefully this makes it easy for Phil to understand) just opened in your town and it's big advertising campaign is that they serve food, free! The just ask that you consider tossing them a bit of cash after your meal, but otherwise they want to open this business because they love food.

You naturally decide to try the place out. When you get there, you are seated in a place that could at best be described as unappealing. Your server arrives and hands you a menu with a bunch of options on it and you're excited until you see all the options are just chicken soup with slightly different names. But hey, it's free chicken soup, and you get it and you weren't expecting much. Then the soup arrives. Though to call it soup is generous. It's mostly water with a bit of taste of chicken broth, like they dissolved a bit of chicken stock in a pot of way too much water. But still, it's free.

You finish your meal and go to leave, when a member of staff comes over and asks you if you'd like to give some money. While it might not have been the best meal, or the nicest place, it was still free and you'd feel bad if you didn't throw some money at them. So you give them 10-15 dollars only to have them scoff at the money. They ask you how much you think it costs to run a place like this. They point out the meal was free, so you should give them money so they can keep going. Whenever you try and point out to them that their food isn't very good, that the dining room itself is dirty and ugly, that the service and options for food are lacking, the staff just tells you that they've been working in this industry for a long time and know better than you. They then pivot it back to them needing that money to keep the doors of the place open.

Would you feel compelled to give them any money? Or are you thinking about places that you could give your money to and actually get something back worth while? And what if you articulated to the staff this very argument that if they want money, to actually offer some sort of food for the money, they tell you that they would but only if you tell them what you want, how to make it, source the materials, and then show the cook how to make it?

You'd go to Burger King next time. They might fuck up your burger, but at least you got. The fucking. Burger.

Holy shit, this is a long one, but it's so worth it, and describes Phil and his "business sense" perfectly. Though you omitted the part about the owner coming out and berating you, the customer, for not liking their food, taking the money that you gave them, and them banning you from ever coming back from the restaurant. THAT would be Phil.

EDIT: Dammit, I was sniped by @Nurse Ratchet!

 

[Zappin’ And Spazzin’]

Those tips are only used if Phil didn't reach the $100 goal by his break. However, this individual tips every single day.

So, imagine a scenario that Phil is really close to hit the tips goal. He just hides the money and then hopes one wheelchair will cover the rest. Why? Because every time he hits the tips goal, nobody donates anymore.

It's just a strategy to scam more money.

My question was more of a "What's in it for the fan and why is he doing it?" but I guess the answer is the usual "Nothing".
I guess there's no room for doubt whether or not Phil's whales are outright complicit in him trying to scam people.

 

[TheGreatWhiteNorth]

My question was more of a "What's in it for the fan and why is he doing it?" but I guess the answer is the usual "Nothing".
I guess there's no room for doubt whether or not Phil's whales are outright complicit in him trying to scam people.

I would suppose that it'd fall into that "cult" mentality of the Dear Leader using your "chosen" tip for that specific purpose, making you feel special. That would obfuscate the shitty stream quality and berating of people for not "being like you".

Oh wait, that's right. Phil doesn't have a cult.

 

[Stroke Face II Turbo]

Totally not gay. Phil is 100% straight. He just likes food, begging, wrestling and men's asses.

DSP becomes smitten with a new character from the new Life Is Strange game​

 

[QwahlityKahntent]

Totally not gay. Phil is 100% straight. He just likes food, begging, wrestling and men's asses.

DSP becomes smitten with a new character from the new Life Is Strange game​

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what a literal fag lmao

 

[SkippyLongbottom]

Totally not gay. Phil is 100% straight. He just likes food, begging, wrestling and men's asses.

DSP becomes smitten with a new character from the new Life Is Strange game​

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This is another league of calling his wife mom 7+ times.

I want to quote the video's sound clip:

"Dis nigga gay"

 

[ProvenWrong]

Totally not gay. Phil is 100% straight. He just likes food, begging, wrestling and men's asses.

DSP becomes smitten with a new character from the new Life Is Strange game​

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"Who the fuck is this Hunk??"

LMAO!!!!

This man is not only coming out the closet, but also the nook too!

He was more giddy seeing that dude than any tips he received in his life.

Probably reminded him of his long lost lover John Rambo

 

[GiveMeTheMoney]

DSP is a fucking idiot. Members only streams can only be watched by members of the channel, regardless if they're "shared" or not. This is a peak example of DSP not wanting to do anything, he was caught in a blatant lie there.

 

[Forbidden Math]

DSP is a fucking idiot. Members only streams can only be watched by members of the channel, regardless if they're "shared" or not. This is a peak example of DSP not wanting to do anything, he was caught in a blatant lie there.

He means someone will restream it, and he is right. Broken clock etc. etc.

Edit: That said, he shouldn't not do a members only stream just because someone will restream it. The privacy isn't the point, it's about making members feel special.

 

[Wasabi Panda]

seeing clips from this playthrough he seems to be getting worse with each story-based game he plays.

He can't pay attention, stop babbling or fake laughing or not shuffle around looking everywhere but the screen like he's nervous cause a sex scene came on in a movie he's watching with his mom with a that game can at best be described as a game based on a rejected lifetime movie.

I don't know whats getting him so awkward...Lesbians? Females on screen? Emotions? People of color? Was there breasts in the game?

 

[Kornheiser]

Why won’t he play Warioware? It’s zany enough for him and he wouldn’t have to play so long.

 

[BarbatosRex]

Why won’t he play Warioware? It’s zany enough for him and he wouldn’t have to play so long.

Cause Nintendo will take away his Youtube pennies and that's unforgiveable.

 

[Surly Muppet]

Protip OIC: If you really want to make us mad, try not to masturbate in stream and give yourself away like this. Your ego is getting almost as bad as Phil's.

https://twitter.com/jkramer131/status/1436807411415855104

I'm skeptical of the theory that OiC is SilentBob/OMM/Bobajo. I do believe those Behind the Scenes tippers are all one person, but SilentBob was active for a long time before OiC came around, and Phil's defensiveness when someone tipped using SilentBob's name during that Flight Sim stream suggests that Phil is interested in preserving his relationship with this unseen whale.

TaylorSwift fan may well be OiC just reminding Phil to check for Behind the Scenes tips because, just like us, this person is aware that there is a tip there every single stream and that Phil is likely sitting on it. At this point I could go into Phil's chat and remind him to check for Behind the Scenes tips without any intimate knowledge that there is a tip waiting for him and be correct, because Phil's scam with those tips is just too obvious now.

This is likely just Phil being a lazy conman - half his chat should be spamming him every day to check for tips during the prestream just to make it harder to lie to them until his break.

 

[FamicomGorby]

Why won’t he play Warioware? It’s zany enough for him and he wouldn’t have to play so long.

He prefers RPG's and walking simulators cause he can fill up all the time that would normally be dead air with reading out every single piece of dialog and flavor text in a painstakingly monotone voice.

Also Dave's reaction time is shit so a game like Warioware is something he would fail at, and there wouldn't be anything that his whales could do to help.

 

[Zappin’ And Spazzin’]

Why won’t he play Warioware? It’s zany enough for him and he wouldn’t have to play so long.

He knows it'll humiliate him. His reflexes are way too shot to keep up with rapid, 10 second microgames where you're expected to figure out what to do and react on the spot.
At least with most games he can put down the controller and wait for chat to tell him what to do, can't do that in events with a ticking clock.
He'll gladly stick to cringing at lesbian simulator, no gameplay there.

 

[Zeelpulp]

Not to shit on Alex Chen or anything...

But “empathy” and “absorbing others emotions”?

I got those powers too. Except I don’t cal them “superpowers”.

Come to think of it, I think everyone got those “superpowers”.

Except autists.

Maybe it’s a game made by autists?!

Null's playthrough should answer that burning question.

 

[Pargon]

we need to avoid anything that'll increase phil's income because some day...any day now...his income will go down....any day now...i know it's been 6 years of him making over 100k a year...but any day...is the day it'll happen...."

The failure of this thinking (and I know you’re describing it, not endorsing it) is that it ignores that there actually are stupid people with money out there who haven’t discovered Phil yet. People like Tut and Emerald7 are rare but they’re not absolute anomalies. All Phil needs to do is survive somehow until another wealthy bored retard finds him and then he’ll milk that stone for everything he can from them. Assuming that showing the current group of supporters the light so they leave is folly when there are so many others Phil hasn’t tapped.

Tl;dr expecting for any reason for Phil’s supporter numbers to slowly dry up is expecting you’ll experience the Rapture in your lifetime. Yeah, it might happen.

 

[Zappin’ And Spazzin’]

Null's playthrough

Link?