Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Fuscateob]

Oh, taste test videos with a little kid! That sounds fun. What are you going to do, ants on a log? Apples and peanut butter combinations? Chocobanana? Baby's first charcuterie?

Bonus:
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*THUD* *THUD* *SPLOOSH*

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

makes it so clear and obvious she's a binger:

Does it count as a binge if she’s always binging?

That was the fatest she’s ever looked

Each time we see her is the fattest she’s ever looked. That scale tends to only go one way. I may have to revise my poll response upwards soon.

I really sincerely hope it doesn't pan out that way. Best that Bowie remains quiet and goes to his barren little room when Mr cake man arrives and mom starts squealing again. I noted on an update about her home tour... Still no further pictures or update about Bowie's room.

I remember pushing back on this suggestion in the past but based on the last few months, I would not put it past the Tubbster to do something like this, especially if she gets more cake and weed money from it. We’ve seen her narcissistic tendencies only inflate, much like her weight, and see her narcissism become far more malignant.

At an absolute minimum, Tess has no boundaries whatsoever and it is completely intentional. We saw Tess flirt with her half brother who was half her age. Easy to believe that isn’t just limited to that one trip to Palm Springs.

 

[Water-T]

When Bowie crawls onto the table to get near the jar of M & M's, Tess slams her hoof on the lid as if to notify Bowie that THIS IS MAMA'S CANDY!

 

[NoReturn]

When Bowie crawls onto the table to get near the jar of M & M's, Tess slams her hoof on the lid as if to notify Bowie that THIS IS MAMA'S CANDY!

Oh she's cancer alright.

 

[Flaming_Barghast]

I finally realized who tess reminds me of, an early 20's Lindsay Lohan but over inflated with pudding.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

I finally realized who tess reminds me of, an early 20's Lindsay Lohan but over inflated with pudding.

Lindsay is/was far more successful as a yacht girl than Tess is at farting on cakes. Tess would oink and squeal in delight if she was invited on a boat, even though it would immediately capsize. Fortunately she can be used as a flotation device.

 

[Water-T]

I finally realized who tess reminds me of, an early 20's Lindsay Lohan but over inflated with pudding.

It's if Lindsay was addicted to gravy instead of cocaine.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

Nah, Tess is more like Lindsay's mother, Dina.

She will pimp Lindsay/Bowie out, and screech at anyone who dares to reprimand her goblin, while feeding her/him full of cocaine and taking manager's fees.

 

[Poop Shoot]

I fucking knew she would start leaning on Bowie when the other “pay attention to me” shit didn’t work.

The Bowie trooning is inevitable. Poor fucking kid, being born to two failed narcs means he never had a chance.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

No, I don't think she'll push Bowie into trooning ou.
I used to at one time, but like another poster here said, if Bowie did troon out, that would take money, and most of all, attention away from Tess.
She's too lazy to take him to doctor and therapy appointments, she won't want to spend money on medication and surgery that insurance/Medi-Cal won't cover, she won't want to share the makeup and skincare she gets as PR, and she won't want to share the limelight.

When he gets older, and starts giving her lip, she will most likely put him on a plane to Australia, call Nick two hours after the plane has left LA, and tell him Bowie is HIS problem now. Unless she can dump him off on her mom like she did with Rylee, but I doubt that will happen.

 

[Water-T]

No, I don't think she'll push Bowie into trooning ou.
I used to at one time, but like another poster here said, if Bowie did troon out, that would take money, and most of all, attention away from Tess.
She's too lazy to take him to doctor and therapy appointments, she won't want to spend money on medication and surgery that insurance/Medi-Cal won't cover, she won't want to share the makeup and skincare she gets as PR, and she won't want to share the limelight.

She doesn't even have to do all that. She'll tell Bowie to put on a dress or else Mama won't love him anymore, then trot him out for asspats on IG. All the wokies she sucks up to will clap like trained seals, and Tess will get her needed dopamine hit. No doctor visits, horse piss pills, or effort required, so OF COURSE Tess is going to go down this road.

Then she'll make a GFM and claim its to afford drugs and surgery for Bowie, but it'll all go into her pocket. Sure, she'll be sharing attention with Bowie, but it's better than NO attention. Plus, all the people who'll tell her that she's "abusing" him by putting him on puberty blockers* gives her lots of opportunities to politi-sperg on her IG for even more Woke Points and asspats.

Remember, this is the woman who resorted to faking anorexia and domestic abuse, so (fake) trooning out her kid is not out of the question. Anything for attention!

*she won't really put him on puberty blockers - she'll just claim she is as part of the grift.

 

[Angry New Ager]

No, I don't think she'll push Bowie into trooning ou.
I used to at one time, but like another poster here said, if Bowie did troon out, that would take money, and most of all, attention away from Tess.
She's too lazy to take him to doctor and therapy appointments, she won't want to spend money on medication and surgery that insurance/Medi-Cal won't cover, she won't want to share the makeup and skincare she gets as PR, and she won't want to share the limelight.

When he gets older, and starts giving her lip, she will most likely put him on a plane to Australia, call Nick two hours after the plane has left LA, and tell him Bowie is HIS problem now. Unless she can dump him off on her mom like she did with Rylee, but I doubt that will happen.

Putting him on a plane to Australia would be prohibitively expensive, and Tess isn't spending that kind of money on her kid. She might send him back to MS, but in reality that's too far, and offers Bowie the chance of too much close, unmediated contact with her hated brother.

So it wouldn't shock me if she dumps him on the same ex Rylee now lives with, or else finds one of her gay orbiters in LA willing to take him in. I think she'd rather keep him nearby, so she can keep dragging him back into her presence (and social media) the way she does with Rylee, as well as being there to correct his story when she needs to. Controlling the narrative is a Narc obsession, and that's much harder to do at a distance.

On top of that, sending Bowie to Australia would give Nick and Bowie a chance to compare notes about her, and allow Bowie to turn against her in favor of Nick and his family—something she would never be able to tolerate.

So Bowie's not going anywhere. And I totally agree that trooning out's not going to happen, because it would take far too much time, money, and effort, and force her to share the spotlight. He'll be a boy with long hair until he gets tired of it and takes a pair of scissors to it himself, but for now Tess is content to allow that little bit of gender ambiguity to continue because it lets her look like such a woke mawm.

 

[Poop Shoot]

We’re going to have to agree to disagree, because I don’t believe for one moment that she’s above using someone else for her own attention.

She’s doing it right now. And when the novelty wears off, she can put him in a dress and boom, more views again.

Not saying there won’t be shit in the meantime. I can see more claims of “abuse”, maybe a pretend miscarriage, and some sort of crisis along the way. But Bowie is cute as hell and if you don’t think she’ll exploit that to her own gain - you think higher of her than I do.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

She doesn't even have to do all that. She'll tell Bowie to put on a dress or else Mama won't love him anymore, then trot him out for asspats on IG. All the wokies she sucks up to will clap like trained seals, and Tess will get her needed dopamine hit. No doctor visits, horse piss pills, or effort required, so OF COURSE Tess is going to go down this road.

Then she'll make a GFM and claim its to afford drugs and surgery for Bowie, but it'll all go into her pocket. Sure, she'll be sharing attention with Bowie, but it's better than NO attention. Plus, all the people who'll tell her that she's "abusing" him by putting him on puberty blockers* gives her lots of opportunities to politi-sperg on her IG for even more Woke Points and asspats.

Remember, this is the woman who resorted to faking anorexia and domestic abuse, so (fake) trooning out her kid is not out of the question. Anything for attention!

*she won't really put him on puberty blockers - she'll just claim she is as part of the grift.

I CAN see her doing this.

 

[Cripple]

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Good lord woman have you ever heard of blotting paper? It takes all of ten seconds to blot your face before filming and it doesn't smear make up if you do it right.

This social media with Bowie gives me bad feelings about well... mamas new cake John not being about the cake at all and instead all about the access to an adorable 5 year old with 0 parental or adult stable figures in their life. Whose mom also loves having their child taken off their hands. Tess is also exactly the sort of desperate mentally ill woman to just either not believe a child or just not put two and two together. To be honest. I get the same concern every time she trots out Bowie.... whoever will take him off her hands is welcome! Not full time, mind, she needs her money and weapon against Nasty Nic.

Tess has already shown she is irresponsible with putting Olly to stay in Bowies room. Not saying anything about Olly. But that is not appropriate at best. It is abuse to allow a child to be exposed to things they should not be. Such as drug taking, conversations of a deeply sexual nature, indecency. Etc. I bet my bottom dollar Bowie has been witnessed to all these things.

I really sincerely hope it doesn't pan out that way. Best that Bowie remains quiet and goes to his barren little room when Mr cake man arrives and mom starts squealing again. I noted on an update about her home tour... Still no further pictures or update about Bowie's room.

Bowie, should let mama have the biggest bits of chocolate and treats. In fact, make sure she does. After all. HAES right?

Late as all hell but ddos. But the mark on Tess's foot is not dirt. The markings are like a fat triangular strap across her ankle from widest at the back to front. But the marked discolouration high on the instep is dirt. As an obese waddle monster she will have collapsed her instep and therefore the dirt mark will be far higher.

I have this unsavory feeling too but I think it's just knowing this is a bad situation. Tess is a narc mom desperate for male attention and this is exactly the sort of person who directly or indirectly pimps their child to keep a suitor. Hopefully by just luck Tess never pulls in such a person. Nevertheless putting Bowie on social media where pedos hunt for victims, unfortunately just increases the odds needy maw-maw starts getting flirty DMs from a manipulative pedo.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

Ryann’s ideal is to dump Bowie on someone financially stable enough to where they don’t ask her to give them the government benefits she most definitely collects for Bowie. Shipping him to Australia complicates that. Her newfound relationship with her father makes him an ideal target…err I mean candidate to foist him off, especially since things with Beth’s side of the family are as cold as Tess’s freezer that holds numerous tubs of Jeni’s ice cream.

A trooning arc for Bowie is definitely possible. All Tess needs to do is make Bowie wear a pink shirt or a dress and voila! Instant gratification from a fawning media and her fanbase. In true Tess fashion, it will be all about her as she talks about being a hot queer with a queer child and why she’s still living her best life, y’all!

 

[Flawmil]

Post a predictable Tess outfit in a fantasy world where she would have been invited to this years Met Gala The theme this year was “American fashion”.

I’ll go first, she would try to combine inspiration from both Miss Piggy and Dolly Parton but end up looking like an extra large, sparkley, fringed bottle of pepto bismol. The dress is Fableticss couture.

 

[NoReturn]

Post a predictable Tess outfit in a fantasy world where she would have been invited to this years Met Gala The theme this year was “American fashion”.

I’ll go first, she would try to combine inspiration from both Miss Piggy and Dolly Parton but end up looking like an extra large, sparkley, fringed bottle of pepto bismol. The dress is Fableticss couture.

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Bitch you ain't "manifesting" anything beyond diabetes and child alienation.

 

[cactus]

Post a predictable Tess outfit in a fantasy world where she would have been invited to this years Met Gala The theme this year was “American fashion”.

I’ll go first, she would try to combine inspiration from both Miss Piggy and Dolly Parton but end up looking like an extra large, sparkley, fringed bottle of pepto bismol. The dress is Fableticss couture.

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I doubt you can manifest the $30k to get in, you have debt, honey!

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

The only events she got invited to this year was because of her friend, Nadia. Unless she has a good friend like that to give her an in, she isn’t manifesting shit.

Speaking of which, it’s been a while since we’ve seen Tess talk about her. Considering she is a pee oh cee, I’m guessing Nadia is the one who moved on. Yet another BFF that didn’t last long.