DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

If you guys wouldn't mind a bit of dumb history, I found this the other day. A later quote from the thread marks the original poster as "Punish3r", which was one of Phil's names on SRK. He apparently used to be known on there for these kinds of spergouts, though due to the fact that he wasn't always quoted, a lot of it is lost to history. I can link the original thread, if it's wanted.

Buck Bumble said:

If you guys wouldn't mind a bit of dumb history, I found this the other day. A later quote from the thread marks the original poster as "Punish3r", which was one of Phil's names on SRK. He apparently used to be known on there for these kinds of spergouts, though due to the fact that he wasn't always quoted, a lot of it is lost to history. I can link the original thread, if it's wanted.

Click to expand...

Oh hey, it's the archetypal loveshy screed. It's funny how at least half of those apply perfectly to him.

Rin said:

Oh hey, it's the archetypal loveshy screed. It's funny how at least half of those apply perfectly to him.

Click to expand...

when i first saw that picture, my eyes zoomed to the list
i thought it was a list of qualities phil had as explained by an ex-fan
then i read the whole post

it's almost like phil projects his bullshit onto other people

Qi Meng Dealer said:

I'd like to see a "DSP tries it: Job Hunting" someday. There's bound to be a lot of salt and misery there when Phil gets a reality check from employers.

Too bad the kiddies supporting Phil won't let that happen.

Click to expand...

I wanna see that as well, can just imagine the vlogs about stupid bosses who don't wants him to save their companies.

Buck Bumble said:

If you guys wouldn't mind a bit of dumb history, I found this the other day. A later quote from the thread marks the original poster as "Punish3r", which was one of Phil's names on SRK. He apparently used to be known on there for these kinds of spergouts, though due to the fact that he wasn't always quoted, a lot of it is lost to history. I can link the original thread, if it's wanted.

Click to expand...

Good thing he found PandaLee that does what she's told.

Buck Bumble said:

His full rant about Warcraft 3 and Counterstrike can also be found here, on his original website: https://web.archive.org/web/20040628104532/http://www.top-haters.com/mindless.htm

Click to expand...

DSP Archive posted that one a while ago, pretty obvious he had problems with games giving him challenges early on.

Now Phil is just straight up ripping off AVGN word for word.

The Colonel said:

Now Phil is just straight up ripping off AVGN word for word.

Click to expand...

1. What game is he bitching about now?

2. Really? He chose to rip off one of the AVGN's oldest and most beloved quotes? How stupid does he think we are?

3. James Rolfe is a far better entertainer and human than Phil has any hope of being.

Vault Boy said:

1. What game is he bitching about now?

2. Really? He chose to rip off one of the AVGN's oldest and most beloved quotes? How stupid does he think we are?

3. James Rolfe is a far better entertainer and human than Phil has any hope of being.

Click to expand...

He's been doing that since Day one. Hell when he starts ranting, he often says "WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!" Something the AVGN commonly says in his reviews. And often times, I hear him quoting the Nerd when he's trying to make good commentary, because he's unoriginal as fuck.

Speaking of Mr. Rolfe


Wow... just wow Doesn't the Nerd make appearances at cons every once in a while? When was the last time Phil got out of his apartment to meet fans in public?

Also, doesn't he team up with other Youtubers such as Doug Walker and Jon Jafari, both of whom he's met in real life and Jon was fan of his before starting Jontron.

Another tweet I find interesting:


Isn't this your JOB? Don't you need to stream in order to get those day one views? (And help from Stream Chat?)

And finally


I have nothing to say. I just thought this would be interesting to share.

"IM NOT THE CENTER OF ATTENTION ON A FORUM I CREATED AND PAYS FOR AND THAT DOESN'T EVEN BOTHER ME LOOK HOW NICE I AM RIGHT GUISE"

Curious Observer said:

Another tweet I find interesting:

Click to expand...

yeah phil should never call anything he does "fan service" aseptically his streams

As an aside, this site finally loads in Chrome except for the reply section. So, some progress.

Since I'm awake - I'd like to ask, should I post more links/screenshots of Phil's reviews or other ramblings? I'm a bit new to the thread and archiving Phil in general, so it's a bit hard to remember what people have and haven't seen.

I'd also like to know if there's anything I should do for formatting in the future - it's been a long, long time since I've used a forum, and I'm incredibly rusty.

Buck Bumble said:

Since I'm awake - I'd like to ask, should I post more links/screenshots of Phil's reviews or other ramblings? I'm a bit new to the thread and archiving Phil in general, so it's a bit hard to remember what people have and haven't seen.

I'd also like to know if there's anything I should do for formatting in the future - it's been a long, long time since I've used a forum, and I'm incredibly rusty.

Click to expand...

"No shit is too minor" applies to any and all lolcows.


I only wish someone had managed to archive the videos of when Youtube changed it's policies, causing Phil to panic over copyright strikes he got and try to find a way around a system specifically designed to stop people like him from spamming Youtube with videos. The later half of that saga was Phil repeating "if I don't get managed status with Machinima, I am screwed."

the low bar just keeps on lowering

If that's the case, I'll basically pull up the URLs for just about everything I've pulled in the last three or so days.
https://web.archive.org/web/20061102170904/http://www.got-next.com/features_read.php?id=109
https://web.archive.org/web/20061102170904/http://www.got-next.com/features_read.php?id=109
- "Are You A True Console Warrior?" (To my knowledge, the last thing he wrote for GotNext/NextLevel. Mainly just fightstick reviews, though we get some early mentions of moves not coming out and whatnot)

https://web.archive.org/web/20061102171055/http://www.got-next.com/features_read.php?id=97
- "Review: World of Warcraft"

https://web.archive.org/web/20061102170922/http://www.got-next.com/features_read.php?id=96
- "Review: Armies of Exigo" (Some sort of obscure RTS game, though this review is more proof that he played Starcraft/Warcraft)

https://web.archive.org/web/20050311230139/http://www.got-next.com/features/2004awards/page4.php
- "The Year In Review - 2004" (To my knowledge, this is the only 'staff' article he participated in, it's also my favorite in terms of contents. More WoW server whining here)

https://web.archive.org/web/20061102173043/http://www.got-next.com/features_read.php?id=66
- "Review: Half-Life 2" (I find this one interesting because we get a bit of dicksucking for Counter Strike Source in it, yet this was posted around the same time as his Top-Haters rant on WC and CSS.)

https://web.archive.org/web/20061102173238/http://www.got-next.com/features_read.php?id=64
- "The Cold, Hard, Truth" (Apparently a new editorial that got cancelled after its debut, here's the beginning of the WoW server whining along with some classic Phil sperging.)

https://web.archive.org/web/20061102173110/http://www.got-next.com/features_read.php?id=63
- "DSP on DS" (His first post to the site, and some pretty typical Phil. Includes some random Metroid Prime bashing, and complaining that in Mario vs Donkey Kong he would "run off of cliffs even though he'd pressed the jump button")

I'll be putting the SRK and Top-Haters stuff in another post, mainly because my findings on the former are limited to times when he was quoted later in the thread, and a lot of the Top-Haters stuff was already posted by the Archives. I also have Phil's old Usenet/IRC name, but I'm wary about copying links from google since I don't want to accidentally dox myself.

I'm probably going to have taken a while to post the SRK links - I have to dig through the threads themselves to find him.

http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/162279/#Comment_162279
http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/162282/#Comment_162282
- Phil being salty about an MVC1 tournament.

http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/189398/#Comment_189398
http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/189404/#Comment_189404
http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/189422/#Comment_189422
- Posts made after Phil got banned from SRK, includes some of his fans coming in to advertise Top-Haters, as well a reference or two to other names he's used online.

http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/171455/#Comment_171455
- Phil attempts to be funny at someone else's expense. Responses are minor, but got a chuckle

http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/168597/#Comment_168597
http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/168600/#Comment_168600
http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/168644/#Comment_168644
- Phil bragging about the money match he brags about on Top-Haters, as shown on the DSPArchives' screenshots. Also includes a giant IRC textdump which reveals his old IRC/Usenet name.

http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/2318/#Comment_2318
http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/2322/#Comment_2322
- Phil's Loveshy level screed, includes second post. Something I'd like to note is that he mentions posting something like this on another forum. I haven't found anything yet, but I am looking.

http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/2328/#Comment_2328
http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/2330/#Comment_2330
- Post from later in that thread, apparently he made a pass at ShadyK's girlfriend. Includes one of Phil's usual attempts at damage control by simultaneously calling it a lie and then saying it was drama that was in the past.

http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/166086/#Comment_166086
http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/166089/#Comment_166089
http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/166094/#Comment_166094
http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/166110/#Comment_166110
http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/166115/#Comment_166115
http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/166122/#Comment_166122
- Phil having a massive spergout over an event he didn't even attend, including a King of Hate speech that's almost on the level of the "IT MAKES ME STRONGER" bullshit.


I managed to accidentally find more while I was picking up some of the older posts. Will be doing top-hater links next.

Buck Bumble said:

I'm probably going to have taken a while to post the SRK links - I have to dig through the threads themselves to find him.

http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/162279/#Comment_162279
http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/162282/#Comment_162282
- Phil being salty about the tournament the infamous disqualification video comes from.

http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/189398/#Comment_189398
http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/189404/#Comment_189404
http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/189422/#Comment_189422
- Posts made after Phil got banned from SRK, includes some of his fans coming in to advertise Top-Haters, as well a reference or two to other names he's used online.

http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/171455/#Comment_171455
- Phil attempts to be funny at someone else's expense. Responses are minor, but got a chuckle

http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/168597/#Comment_168597
http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/168600/#Comment_168600
http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/168644/#Comment_168644
- Phil bragging about the money match he brags about on Top-Haters, as shown on the DSPArchives' screenshots. Also includes a giant IRC textdump which reveals his old IRC/Usenet name.

http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/2318/#Comment_2318
http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/2322/#Comment_2322
- Phil's Loveshy level screed, includes second post. Something I'd like to note is that he mentions posting something like this on another forum. I haven't found anything yet, but I am looking.

http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/2328/#Comment_2328
http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/2330/#Comment_2330
- Post from later in that thread, apparently he made a pass at ShadyK's girlfriend. Includes one of Phil's usual attempts at damage control by simultaneously calling it a lie and then saying it was drama that was in the past.

http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/166086/#Comment_166086
http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/166089/#Comment_166089
http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/166094/#Comment_166094
http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/166110/#Comment_166110
http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/166115/#Comment_166115
http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/166122/#Comment_166122
- Phil having a massive spergout over an event he didn't even attend, including a King of Hate speech that's almost on the level of the "IT MAKES ME STRONGER" bullshit.


I managed to accidentally find more while I was picking up some of the older posts. Will be doing top-hater links next.

Click to expand...

I thought the disqualification video was a SF4 tournament where he got bitched at for video taping. Is there another one Im not aware of?

For Top-Haters, I'm just gonna post direct links to any articles/other fun sources of info. I know the Archives have posted screens of a lot of the site, but if the Lolcow Wiki ends up having a page for Phil, I'd like to make sure that quotes and whatnot can be sourced.

https://web.archive.org/web/20030628014136/http://www.top-haters.com/whywehate.htm
- The original 'Why We Hate' page, which is basically him ranting like a child for several paragraphs.

Compare to: https://web.archive.org/web/20031226065357/http://www.top-haters.com/whywehate.htm
- A later snapshot of the 'Why We Hate' page, which is maybe a single paragraph about how edgy they're going to be.

https://web.archive.org/web/20030606213313/http://top-haters.com/main.htm
- This appears to be a page that only appears if you enter the main page through the archive's earliest snapshot. Even manipulating the snapshot date irreversibly changes it to a different page unless you go back. It's mainly more Phil sperging.

https://web.archive.org/web/20030628013936/http://www.top-haters.com/ecccontroversies.htm
-Phil ranting about some ECC drama.

https://web.archive.org/web/20031016033948/http://www.top-haters.com/combovideos.htm
-Giant rant about combo videos

https://web.archive.org/web/20030808182104/http://www.top-haters.com/main.htm
- Phil's "Last Goodbye" rant

https://web.archive.org/web/20041014023346/http://www.top-haters.com/archives.htm
- A full archive of every article Phil had written as of the last snapshot. Includes a wealth of information, including:

- Phil's rant about how Punisher was better than Kill Bill Vol. 2
- A ramble about Naruto
- Whining that his forums aren't being used
- Outright hosting links to Supernova, an old Torrent site
- Outright admitting to stealing material from Penny Arcade to start a shitty webcomic that only had two pages.


https://web.archive.org/web/20040628103448/http://www.top-haters.com/mapquest.htm
- Phil failing to Mapquest in his quest for poontang from women he finds insane.

https://web.archive.org/web/20040524061116/http://top-haters.com/sales.htm
- Rant about an apparent scam that Circuit City was running, along with confirmation that he was working for them at the time this was posted.

This is all I've found so far, though the archives themselves apparently have images stored that I can't seem to access.

DragoonSierra said:

I thought the disqualification video was a SF4 tournament where he got bitched at for video taping. Is there another one Im not aware of?

Click to expand...

You appear to actually be right about that. I'll edit my post and see if I can find any other info aside from the single youtube comment I found.

EDIT - http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/2998477/#Comment_2998477
What do you know. He had a giant fucking rant about it that had to be done via another member since he was banned. It doesn't even show up in google searches for his name, that I've found.

He also lies about why he was DQed, so that's fun.

Thank you again for pointing this out, DragoonSierra. I wouldn't have found this otherwise.

Buck Bumble said:

https://web.archive.org/web/20040524061116/http://top-haters.com/sales.htm
- Rant about an apparent scam that Circuit City was running, along with confirmation that he was working for them at the time this was posted.

Click to expand...

phil working retail is really funny to me for some reason "what i didn't hit all these buttons on the register its lagging"or if you prefer "what you want me to restock all the shelf's? how was i suppose to know? its a beginners trap"

geekboy400 said:

phil working retail is really funny to me for some reason "what i didn't hit all these buttons on the register its lagging"or if you prefer "what you want me to restock all the shelf's how was i suppose to know beginners trap"

Click to expand...

It gets better. I followed a hunch after Dragoon pointed out a mistake.

http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/1097249/#Comment_1097249
http://forums.shoryuken.com/discussion/comment/1143935/#Comment_1143935

- Phil got let go from Circuit City, apparently got a job at Best Buy afterward, and then got terminated for attempting to use his employee discount on equipment for a tournament he was hosting, leaving him to reap unemployment benefits.