Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.5%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 257 18.7%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 193 14.0%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 782 56.8%
  • Total voters
    1,377
Featured on Dec 5, 2023 by Null: Jack Scalfani has decided to adopt a Carnivore Diet in 2024 to help with his medical history of multiple strokes.
He talks about his upcoming carnivore diet, whatever.
He's going to Universal Florida with some special VIP 'meetup' package that includes food and 10 kinds of butterbeer. Where do they get the money?
He's excited to try the green eggs and ham at the Dr Suess land, because he is 10 years old and green food coloring makes food taste better.
His next video is 'deer balls' with that woman protege of his.
 
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a terminal posture said:
He talks about his upcoming carnivore diet, whatever.
He's going to Universal Florida with some special VIP 'meetup' package that includes food and 10 kinds of butterbeer. Where do they get the money?
He's excited to try the green eggs and ham at the Dr Suess land, because he is 10 years old and green food coloring makes food taste better.
His next video is 'deer balls' with that woman protege of his.
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The wendigo demands juicy meats
 
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Falcon Sebben said:
You'd need arms like an orangutan to be able to reach around to give him the Heimlich maneuver. Not to mention the power of one to physically move all that bulk.

Same story if you had to give him chest compressions to do CPR.
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I wonder if the algorithm, based on Jack or Tammy's medical-related internet searches, has ever recommended that they buy a LifeVac or DeChoker. They're rescue devices based on suction, and can even be self-administered (but not in Jack's case, since you need two working arms/hands). They have a multitude of verified successful uses.
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I wouldn't be surprised if an EMS crew relied on something like a LUCAS Chest Compression System if they ever responded to a call at Jack's location. The beefiest firefighter/paramedic on the crew would tire very quickly doing manual compressions. Lots of squads carry them nowadays. One interesting fact is that the patient's arms need to be strapped upwards along the sides of the device for it to work efficiently. Imagine having to strap in the dead arm, though ::horror::.
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A choking emergency with Jack would probably be some interesting shit to witness. Assuming it isn't total airway blockage, you'd probably hear some wendigo-esque noises from the meager airflow. I'd definitely pity the fellow diners the most if it happens in a restaurant for a Fat On The Go. It can be some very traumatic shit to watch if you're medically uninitiated, and even then it isn't pleasant (seen it twice: <10yo at a resort pool, >70yo at a country club). The panicked/hysterical relatives in the periphery don't make it a pretty scene either.

This is probably the worst/saddest example that I've read about (owing to the fact that it's too easy for me to visualize).
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Can't really imagine such a procedure working for Jack, either. That'd be a lotttttt of fatty neck to cut through. :tomgirl:
 
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a terminal posture said:
He talks about his upcoming carnivore diet, whatever.
He's going to Universal Florida with some special VIP 'meetup' package that includes food and 10 kinds of butterbeer. Where do they get the money?
He's excited to try the green eggs and ham at the Dr Suess land, because he is 10 years old and green food coloring makes food taste better.
His next video is 'deer balls' with that woman protege of his.
Click to expand...

So, he's going to try the old "Fight fire with fire" theory of health, eh? That always turns out for the best...
 
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Pig Cups said:
This is probably the worst/saddest example that I've read about (owing to the fact that it's too easy for me to visualize).
Screenshot 2023-12-02 at 1.14.18 PM.png
Can't really imagine such a procedure working for Jack, either. That'd be a lotttttt of fatty neck to cut through. :tomgirl:
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The saddest part of this is that they waited too long to do the tracheotomy, if they had done it sooner, he most likely would have pulled through. A crash tracheotomy using a steak knife is something no one ever fucking wants to do, literally ever, but, if you are going to do it, do it before his brain has been deprived of oxygen for more than 5 minutes. They spent way too much time on the heimlich maneuver. I can understand why they handled it the way they did, but its better to do something incredibly risky that may work than something that is and has not worked and then doing something when it is too late for any hope at all.
 
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a terminal posture said:
He talks about his upcoming carnivore diet, whatever.
He's going to Universal Florida with some special VIP 'meetup' package that includes food and 10 kinds of butterbeer. Where do they get the money?
He's excited to try the green eggs and ham at the Dr Suess land, because he is 10 years old and green food coloring makes food taste better.
His next video is 'deer balls' with that woman protege of his.
Click to expand...
So he's just straight up trying to kill himself now, right?

Suicide via red meat sure isn't the quickest way to go, but it's probably the tastiest.
 
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Manul Otocolobus said:
The saddest part of this is that they waited too long to do the tracheotomy, if they had done it sooner, he most likely would have pulled through. A crash tracheotomy using a steak knife is something no one ever fucking wants to do, literally ever, but, if you are going to do it, do it before his brain has been deprived of oxygen for more than 5 minutes. They spent way too much time on the heimlich maneuver. I can understand why they handled it the way they did, but its better to do something incredibly risky that may work than something that is and has not worked and then doing something when it is too late for any hope at all.
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Seems that a number of articles I remember seeing about this incident years ago have been delisted, but a few details:
-There was a police officer nearby who assisted with the Heimlich before the ambulance arrived.
-The tracheotomy wasn't even effective because the blockage was too deep. It was reported that the airway was reopened "in the ambulance upon arrival at the hospital."

Grim, either way. At least they tried their best, despite the situation seeming to have been pretty set to have the outcome it did.
 
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a terminal posture said:
He talks about his upcoming carnivore diet, whatever.
He's going to Universal Florida with some special VIP 'meetup' package that includes food and 10 kinds of butterbeer. Where do they get the money?
He's excited to try the green eggs and ham at the Dr Suess land, because he is 10 years old and green food coloring makes food taste better.
His next video is 'deer balls' with that woman protege of his.
Click to expand...
That lazy eye is really getting worse.
 
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VenomPlug said:
Edit: also this. Jack can finally suck on some balls 🤮 🤮 🤮

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This man is incredibly gifted at, not only managing to make food look as unappetizing as it possibly can, but also sound as unappetizing as it possibly can.

There's not enough alcohol in the world that would make me adventurous enough to try what's in that pan. Deer testes? Deer nuggets? Idgaf, I've already lost my appetite. Every step this man takes inch this man rolls in a mobility aid, he manages to step roll onto not one, but 5 rakes. It's remarkable.
 
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p1138 said:
But it gets worse. Remember, Fatty cannot walk. So unless he's already propped up leaning on something when it happens(assuming he doesn't immediately keel over), he will not be able to stand up to make it easier for someone to assist him. This means now having to reach around the damn scooty puff or whatever chair his fatass is in, or even worse get him out of the chair and having to wrestle him on the floor to render any kind of aid.
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So what you're saying is that ironically he'd have to be taken down to the ground and unchoked?
 
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