Atemporal-Engineer
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2026
Time-space has curvature, so... yes.
We're trapped. Or, we were. I'm fixing it...
"tastes like bad Harry Potter candy"
Yes, the food was well and truly awful, definitely the worst aspect of becoming a saint as prophesied in "The Never".
The Elon Musk bit worked out perfectly...
Now I have to be rich using this...
The litigation one, I think I'll "turn the other cheek" and not "perp walk" Ron DeSantis to my state.
Jail was awful, but it was a good grind, lost a lot of weight, made too many friends.
You're kind of forced to be social in jail and absolutely everyone knows your charges so I was "gangster" for having yelled at Chicken Shit, the object of every inmates ire. It got progressively worse after I went pro se, then I was everybody's lawyer. That wasn't too bad though, I wrote deposition questions and motions for people and they gave me commissary. Had to constantly explain that I wasn't a lawyer, but that just made it worse. My mom also eventually figured out how to get the commissary to work so I didn't starve the entire time.
In my hometown, in Walla Walla, the jail has awesome food, like pizza and corn dogs (sans sticks) and burgers and such... but in Daytona, largely hard tack and swill is what they serve. Some of it kind of grows on you after awhile though. I often traded a soup (ramen) for a chicken sandwich (the only semi-good thing they served). We did a lot of jail house cooking, like they had this honey/jelly stuff sometimes for breakfast and you could put into a styrofoam cup and mix it with a mustard packet to make honey mustard. I did not like the "bricks" though, my taste buds don't need a math problem to solve. Way too many flavors, way too busy tasting.
I had LOTS of nicknames, but the most common ones were, "John Lennon", "baby Jesus", "baby Jesus with a beard", "boss baby", "my lawyer", "Johnnie Cochran", and "Doc Ock".
SAY THE LINE!
"The power of the sun in the palm of my hand."
Or people just called me Matthew.
Regrets... I am sorry for calling "Macho" a "puppet fuck"... repeatedly. He was like the "Ricky Berwick" of the medical dorms and I will miss his shit talking all night lo- I'm kidding... that time during Thanksgiving sounded like two cats fuckin and fightin at the same time! I don't care if you want to serenade the scrotum of another man for three fuckin hours straight, but when you're so loud THE ENTIRE DORM has to hear you insulting each other's sacks... its a little much. Plus I don't think the other dude was play fighting, I think "Macho" really made that dude mad.
Also teaching the guards the difference between exclamatory and derogatory remarks. Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck, fuck... yikes alive, USE SPARINGLY!
*looks through thread*
Wow, some weapons grade TDS from some. I musta really stepped on some feefees in the past few decades.
The confusion about the "bond servant" bit is in regards to making money off human slavery. We didn't abolish that you know, there's an exception for "due conviction" in the 13th and some counties like Volusia are essentially vying for top conviction rates. So most of the people in their jail were just normies being victimized with lawfare. They have this saying...
Come on vacation, leave on probation, come back on violation.
Meaning they play "let's make a deal" a lot with the intent of getting twice the conviction per convict. They try to set people up for failure.
Weirdest thing... passable trannies in jail. It kind of messes you up mentally because you don't expect that kind of environment to be mixed as far as the sexes.
I was in the medical dorms most of the time, which is like easy mode jail. I have recurrent spinal injuries that cause all sorts of nerve damage so I got a double mat pass which made it less like torture. The diapers in jail weren't that great, but thankfully my incontinence issues aren't especially bad. I usually went through like two a day on average. Diapers won't get you in the medical dorms at a default, mostly because there's always overcrowding issues, but they usually move you pretty quick cause the guards don't like being embarrassed by it.
WHERE'S MY CLEAN DIAPER!
*bangs on the window in Karen*
They'd have to walk from the guard station to the medical units to get a single diaper and every inmate would take the opportunity to mock the ones they hated the most.
Some guards were nice though, mostly in the medical dorms.
Oh, I also regret the incident that led to "the whole room clapping". I think it was Unit 5, or 13. One of those. Look, I get it, short black women sometimes have a "thing" with play pretend slavery and I know everyone was always ass mad about her being a bitch, but that totally was not a "job" for her, it was a sexual fetish. I could have played along with it instead of getting angry and... doing what I did. It's not like they actually accepted it! They gave me a stack of diapers and a stack of writing paper to appease me and everyone was ecstatic she got in trouble, but I still feel bad she got in trouble over it.
Some of the guards tried to murder me at one point, putting me in "solitary" with a psychotic homicidal maniac while depriving us of food. They also withheld his psych medication with the obvious intent of trying to push him over the edge. He wanted to try to murder me to "get the guards attention" because we were being starved. Eventually they brought us food though and I promised to share mine with him and then we were friends. He even saved my life later on when guards attacked another inmate in "the box" who just wanted a phone call to cancel his commissary order and they fired off a pepper spray bullet into the unit and then didn't bother to clean it up! I nearly choked to death, but he showed me how to wrap my towel around my face after running it under the water to make a crude gas mask and how to siphon clean air from the plumbing using a sheet. He also got the guards attention by banging on the door super loud. The trick is you lay on the floor and then kick the door with your feet.
He also taught me how to make FIRE! That wasn't so great tho cause some other inmates overheard and they were tweakers who tried to smoke... honestly, I don't want to know what they were trying to smoke, but it was probably one of those orange drink mixes. They also fucked up "popping the socket" and nearly blew out the entire electrical grid! They found out, obviously. All the lights in the unit were all fucked up afterwards. One unit had no remote control cause some tweakers stole the batteries to smoke with.
GOD DAMN GILBERT!
Gilbert raped his kid, or worse, not sure exactly cause most of his court records were sealed, but there were enough details to know it was REALLY BAD! He was in his 80s though, so he was a bit senile and in denial, so if you brought it up he'd get angry and sometimes try to "attack" you... usually by spitting food at you or trying to slap at ya, which then got him put in "the box" and we'd all sing the "na na, hey hey" song. They'd let him back out in like a week and then we'd start the game all over again.
Not sure why they never moved him to "west wing". That was the dorm next to the medical dorm that was reserved for the dings. Rumor had it that the ding dorm had shit throwers so everyone tried to keep calm and carry on so as to not wind up over there. Some of the psych staff were abusive so we had to warn new people not to say they were feeling bad or suicidal, because that was usually all the excuse they needed to fuck you up real bad.
Never be a chomo or a predophile in jail/prison, you'll be fucked in every possible direction at a default! You can't hide your charges either. Everybody knows. I think you can request protective custody but that might just get you put with the dings in west wing.
Unfortunately my glasses broke in jail, but even broken I was told they were worth "anything" if I wanted to trade. Couldn't give them up though cause I'm blind without them.
Oh, there's no coffee anymore at Volusia county, cause some people tried huffing it I think so then they took it out of the commissary. It was good for me though cause I stocked up right before they took it away and suddenly a $1.09 coffee packet was worth like $5 bucks.
Some people LOVE to trade in jail, like that's all they do all day long to pass the time, they just go around trying to set up trades and hustles.
You can make stuff too. One guy made me a better pen by taping and wrapping paper around a flex pen to give it thickness. Artistry also sells, I got some good art for not much. I had tons of pads of lined paper and would trade the cardboard backings for stuff. I also did legal work for ramen. People also made tattoos from snippets from "The Never". I had the only real/physical book in jail aside from biblical texts so I also lent it out for people to read, which made me even more of a jail house celebrity.
Overall... WAY too much attention! I can be social, but being a reclusive writer suits me a lot better. When I'm around other people I start worrying about them. Its like their problems become my problems. Even now, out of jail, I'm still worried about Travis...
He wants to do a podcast thing with me when he gets out, he's got big plans for it.
I think he'll be okay. He has a really good stand your ground case. The news media doesn't make it sound good, but I've read his discovery documents and he's got a real/paid lawyer so I don't think they'll ruin the guy completely... although he's already been in jail for like TWO YEARS!
That's a long grind just for trial.
Anyway, this is getting long, if you want to know more...
I ain't hard to find.
I don't remember too many people from this place, but I hope Josh is doing well.
Yeah, but some of that stuff is cute. I like cute stuff, I like caring stuff... but uh, that community, on the whole, its never been all that cute and caring. Its got some REAL ugly parts to it!
Niche communities like that tend to attract indolents and identity rapists who then take advantage of others in the community.
If you have incontinence issues you kind of gravitate towards that community at a default, just as a matter of shared attire.
One of the nice things about needing to wear diapers is that you're never trying to impress anyone but God. It's oddly liberating in that sense.
To be honest I've never really cared about any "truth" in the matter, I've never considered it to be anything of grand importance. Who cares if Internet people are laughing at you? Their perception of you is never truly real and it's always some form of sad cope, some way of A-Logging their own issues aside.
Your body is a baby, take care of it like one and it'll last you a lifetime.
Probably not the kind you're thinking of.
