007 will be black - doesn't get anymore woke than this

how excited are you for this

  • pretty excited

    Votes: 18 7.6%
  • not excited

    Votes: 75 31.8%
  • why oh why oh why

    Votes: 143 60.6%

  • Total voters
    236
yeah fuck this. casting, say, Idris Elba as James Bond would have been gay because it'd have been done for woke points but almost OK as plausibly not such he can act and is charismatic as fuck. but this is just ridiculous. The GoT prequel getting canned, plus the inevitable failure of this shit, is hopefully writing-on-wall, but who even knows any more.
 
yeah fuck this. casting, say, Idris Elba as James Bond would have been gay because it'd have been done for woke points but almost OK as plausibly not such he can act and is charismatic as fuck. but this is just ridiculous. The GoT prequel getting canned, plus the inevitable failure of this shit, is hopefully writing-on-wall, but who even knows any more.

It likely is, but we still have to wait a while yet before this shit blows over and hopefully we return to a sense of normalcy...

It's disgusting how poorly they have handled these franchises to chase an audience that isn't there.
 

According to leaks reported by The Daily Mail, the upcoming James Bond sequel “No Time to Die” will be the secret agent’s wokest outing yet. Among other things, Bond will have a wife who refuses to take his surname.

“The script has Bond marrying Dr Madeleine Swann — the psychologist played by French actress Lea Seydoux who first appeared in 2015’s ‘Spectre.’ But she refuses to take her new husband’s name,” the Mail reported. “The morning after their wedding, Bond wakes sleepy-eyed and says ‘Good morning, Mrs. Bond,’ to which she replies: ‘Don’t you mean Ms. Swann?'”

On top of that, a source close to production told the outlet that the phrase “Bond Girl” was banned from the set while filming.
“The phrase ‘Bond girl’ was outlawed from the set,” the source said. “The women in this film are all strong, brave and fiercely independent. These women are not helpless girls who jump into bed with Bond — their reactions are very different from what people might think. Bond tries his usual seduction techniques but they fail miserably. It’s very funny.”

The Daily Mail also reported that James Bond will be driving an electric car, but that rumor has been debunked multiple times in the past several months.
“We have no idea where that rumor came from,” said car manufacturer Aston Martin. “The three cars for the new Bond film were decided ages ago, well before that rumour emerged.”

The phrase “Bond Girl” was also not the only thing reportedly outlawed from the “No Time to Die” set; plastic water bottles were also nowhere to be seen.
“Crew members were given reusable water bottles which they filled from taps, saving an estimated 230,000 single-use plastic water bottles,” The Daily Mail continued. “More than 11 tons of packaging waste was also recycled, while producers sent 30 tons of food waste and biodegradable packaging to ‘anaerobic digestion,’ in which micro-organisms break down material, producing a gas that can be used to generate electricity.”
Amid reports, however, that James Bond will be ushered into the #MeToo age, screenwriter Phoebe Waller-Bridge recently attempted to clarify that she had no intention of turning the iconic spy into some feminist superhero.
“They were already doing that themselves. They’re having that conversation with themselves the whole time,” she told BBC Radio 4’s The Today Programme. “They were just looking for tweaks across a few of the characters and a few of the storylines.”
“[My involvement] was much more practical. Just, ‘You’re a writer, we need some help with these scenes.’ And you come up with some dialogue for these characters,” she continued. “There’s been a lot of talk about whether or not [the Bond franchise] is relevant now because of who he is and the way he treats women. I think that’s [nonsense]. I think he’s absolutely relevant now. It has just got to grow. It has just got to evolve, and the important thing is that the film treats the women properly.”
Last week, actress Lashana Lynch, who will reportedly make history as the first black woman to play 007, told The Hollywood Reporter that the makers of “No Time to Die” worked hard to usher James Bond into the #MeToo age.
“Everyone was really responsive to having her be what I wanted,” Lynch said of her character. “You’re given a fresh perspective on a brand-new black woman in the Bond world.”
“I didn’t want someone who was slick. I wanted someone who was rough around the edges and who has a past and a history and has issues with her weight and maybe questions what’s going on with her boyfriend,” she later added.
Lynch even suggested to Waller-Bridge the possibility of a scene in which her character is on her period. “We had one conversation about her maybe being on her period in one scene, and maybe at the beginning of the scene — and I spoke to Cary about this — throwing her tampon in the thing,” said Lynch.
 
I mean, gotta give Lea Seydoux's character a semblance of a personality since her actress can't emote anyway, so let's give her a variation of "DON'T CALL ME PRINCESS".
 
Swann? Wasn’t that last name of the girl in those Twilight books?
 
This movie is gonna bomb just like Terminator: Dark Fate, I'm calling it now.
 
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“The phrase ‘Bond girl’ was outlawed from the set,” the source said. “The women in this film are all strong, brave and fiercely independent. These women are not helpless girls who jump into bed with Bond — their reactions are very different from what people might think. Bond tries his usual seduction techniques but they fail miserably. It’s very funny.”

Can you really call this James Bond anymore? They're going out of their way to completely shit on what makes James Bond what it is. This might have been funny in a James Bond satire (I say might because it would definitely have been funny in the 90s but now it would be too woke-ified), but making an actual James Bond movie like this is fucking pathetic.
 
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Lynch even suggested to Waller-Bridge the possibility of a scene in which her character is on her period. “We had one conversation about her maybe being on her period in one scene, and maybe at the beginning of the scene — and I spoke to Cary about this — throwing her tampon in the thing,” said Lynch.

It was speculated before but now we have the confirmation: this "black woman" 007 is a troon.

Only troons talk about periods and tampons, it's a dead giveaway by this point. And it's been happening since before Yaniv.
 
So basically somebody decided to give the #woke marketing types I regularly sperg about complete creative control over the franchise

I guess it makes sense the owners of Bond would be desperate enough to go down this route given how rocky its been for the franchise and all the behind the scenes issues, as the allure of "literally fifty billion trans crippled women of colour will throw their life savings at you in gratitude for this bold #woke direction! and dont worry, all the smelly old problematic fanboys will be too scared of being called a bigut to not pay to watch this in theaters" sounds mighty tempting for execs with zero connection to the real world who are desperately trying to save their jobs and salvage the brand.

If/when this bombs though, I suspect the long speculated corporate backlash against woke marketing/writing will start in earnest given how many people in the industry will be livid over losing money and possibly a franchise to this shit.
 
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