11/06/2021 Ethan Ralph Totaled His Car - Hard to drive with hooves.

[break these cuffs]

He will die alone.

The same fate he left his mother to.

 

[AStupidMonkey]

Maybe I forgot to mention that Ethan Ralph is a tiny little midget.

I mean I probably didn't, but it's the sort of thing that needs to be mentioned a LOT.

ETHAN RALPH IS A TINY LITTLE MIDGET. PLUS HE IS FAT! HE IS A TINY LITTLE MIDGET AND A TINY LITTLE FAT MIDGET!

Public service announcement over.

AnOm, noooo! Are you trying to cause a 10-car pile-up!?

 

[Kramer on the phone]

I think we can rest assured Ralphamale will not be owning another car for quite awhile. 9k doesn’t even get a shitty 2012 used car on the bonkers covid car market right now.

he was stupid enough to buy a 2020 car in the best sellers market in history. Ralph's the idiot that falls for marketing, it would be one thing if he was a literal teenager. but he's 2x that age and still thinks alienware is the best because it has LEDs and costs a lot.

 

[CECA Loather]

I am sure cars come with video cameras these days at least from where I come from. The motorist that Ralph crashed into might have footage that implicates Ralph leading to him being charged for traffic violations.

 

[MediocreMilt]

I am sure cars come with video cameras these days at least from where I come from. The motorist that Ralph crashed into might have footage

Bruh. Don't underestimate the number of cars still on American roads from 2000 or before.

 

[Leedsotherkid]

he was stupid enough to buy a 2020 car in the best sellers market in history. Ralph's the idiot that falls for marketing, it would be one thing if he was a literal teenager. but he's 2x that age and still thinks alienware is the best because it has LEDs and costs a lot.

More than likely, it was the only/best car he could get. His credit is shit and he has no real dependable income.
Do you think for one minute that ego centric mass of cookie dough wouldn’t be driving the biggest white trash mobile available if he could?
Now he’s going to be in the hole because he has a total loss on the wrong side of his loan. If he determines he needs a car,he’ll go crawling back to the nissan dealer and they’ll stick him whatever POS is loitering in the lot for too long.
Watch for the next guntmobile to have a godawful color/stripped down minimal options. This is your life now. You made this.

 

[Paddy O' Furniture]

More than likely, it was the only/best car he could get. His credit is shit and he has no real dependable income.
Do you think for one minute that ego centric mass of cookie dough wouldn’t be driving the biggest white trash mobile available if he could?
Now he’s going to be in the hole because he has a total loss on the wrong side of his loan. If he determines he needs a car,he’ll go crawling back to the nissan dealer and they’ll stick him whatever POS is loitering in the lot for too long.
Watch for the next guntmobile to have a godawful color/stripped down minimal options. This is your life now. You made this.

I'm not sure why a lot of people are forgetting that Ralph has a whole lot of reasons on why he would get absolutely fucked by a dealer/insurance agent:

• Stable employment (to pay the exorbitant fees they charge him as a high risk client)
• A literal dozen of traffic violations from fleeing from the scene of an accident, numerous speeding tickets and don't forget putting people in the hospital a few weeks ago now on his "green light accident".
• Has been in several write-off accidents.
• Has no real assets to seize or foreclose on.
• Horses don't have the same value they once did.

He'd still walk away knowing he did something profoundly stupid but is unable to rationalize that he was the one that made the choices, and then copeposting on Twitter about how much the car dealer/insurance dude has definitely watched the show and not just clips of him being an atrocious host and friend.

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

I'm not sure why a lot of people are forgetting that Ralph has a whole lot of reasons on why he would get absolutely fucked by a dealer/insurance agent:

• Stable employment (to pay the exorbitant fees they charge him as a high risk client)
• A literal dozen of traffic violations from fleeing from the scene of an accident, numerous speeding tickets and don't forget putting people in the hospital a few weeks ago now on his "green light accident".
• Has been in several write-off accidents.
• Has no real assets to seize or foreclose on.
• Horses don't have the same value they once did.

He'd still walk away knowing he did something profoundly stupid but is unable to rationalize that he was the one that made the choices, and then copeposting on Twitter about how much the car dealer/insurance dude has definitely watched the show and not just clips of him being an atrocious host and friend.

If only Ralph didn't spend all his money on three Vegas trips, that "6k" from Rittenhouse could buy him a fairly reasonable used car, alongside his insurance payout.

Shame Ethan doesn't understand the concept of saving money and avoiding frivolity.

I pray for Xandria.

 

[JustStopDude]

If only Ralph didn't spend all his money on three Vegas trips, that "6k" from Rittenhouse could buy him a fairly reasonable used car, alongside his insurance payout.

Shame Ethan doesn't understand the concept of saving money and avoiding frivolity.

I pray for Xandria.

The 6k would be a decent used car's down payment.

The used car market never recovered from the stupid "cash for clunkers" bullshit. That jàcked up the price of used cars. Now we also have to deal with the chip shortage slowing new car production. There are used cars getting a higher priced used than when they were new.

Where Ethan lives and his god awful record, he isn't getting any good options.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Where Ethan lives and his god awful record, he isn't getting any good options.

That’s where his horsefriend comes in. I wouldn’t put it past him to have her buy a car for him and drive it uninsured.

 

[FM Bradley]

That’s where his horsefriend comes in. I wouldn’t put it past him to have her buy a car for him and drive it uninsured.

"Ah sed ah won' wreck it, now saaghn for the loan, May. Ah awlreddeh tole yew, ah won' wreck it. BITCH SAY I'LL WRECK IT AGAIN--sir SIR ah was nawt reachin' back to hit her--SIR...ah was jus' stretchin', now please gimme jus' a moment with mah fetchin' feeyawnsay. Now May, these 96 months will go baah in a flash, an' ah gawt the guy to knock the APR down to 32.3%..."

 

[Ultrapenguin]

he was stupid enough to buy a 2020 car in the best sellers market in history. Ralph's the idiot that falls for marketing, it would be one thing if he was a literal teenager. but he's 2x that age and still thinks alienware is the best because it has LEDs and costs a lot.

To be fair, for Ralph the stuff that costs the most is the best, because he's a sad tiny man (both literally and figuratively) whose entire existence is based around maintaining his sad tiny ego.

Sure, he could get items that are less expensive and better at fulfilling their objective purpose, but he doesn't do or produce anything of objective value, so what the hell use does he have for that? He's just looking for whatever will fulfill their most basic function while adding the greatest amount of flexing potential to his fat depressing little manlet life. I mean, shit, now that I think about it that describes his choice in partners too.

That's why I say the dude is going to wind up offing himself; he's reached a point where everything he does involves pissing away money he doesn't have to pretend like he's some high roller, and an ever worsening case of NPD and a total disregard for your future will only get you so far. Then he'll join guys like Lowtax as another statistic in the rapidly increasing suicide rate among middle aged white men.

 

[UCantCCPMe]

Don't listen to these people Ralph. These kiwifarms folks are just a bunch of autistic NEETS and you're a much better pilot than any of them. I think it's time you got a vehicle that expresses your alpha chadness. It's time you got a motorcycle Ralph. A big, burly hog that you can do 90 on the highway, weaving in and out of traffic for maximum time efficiency. I think it's time; unless your a pussy. You have a choice Ralph, you can either get a big Harley that will feel like thunder under your balls or you can stick to your faggy little cars and maybe the dealership can put in a tampon dispenser for when your sissy neo-vag starts bleeding. What's it gonna be Ethan?

 

[Buffalo Chicken Sandwich]

Don't listen to these people Ralph. These kiwifarms folks are just a bunch of autistic NEETS and you're a much better pilot than any of them. I think it's time you got a vehicle that expresses your alpha chadness. It's time you got a motorcycle Ralph. A big, burly hog that you can do 90 on the highway, weaving in and out of traffic for maximum time efficiency. I think it's time; unless your a pussy. You have a choice Ralph, you can either get a big Harley that will feel like thunder under your balls or you can stick to your faggy little cars and maybe the dealership can put in a tampon dispenser for when your sissy neo-vag starts bleeding. What's it gonna be Ethan?

4doorsNOwhores

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Don't listen to these people Ralph. These kiwifarms folks are just a bunch of autistic NEETS and you're a much better pilot than any of them. I think it's time you got a vehicle that expresses your alpha chadness. It's time you got a motorcycle Ralph. A big, burly hog that you can do 90 on the highway, weaving in and out of traffic for maximum time efficiency. I think it's time; unless your a pussy. You have a choice Ralph, you can either get a big Harley that will feel like thunder under your balls or you can stick to your faggy little cars and maybe the dealership can put in a tampon dispenser for when your sissy neo-vag starts bleeding. What's it gonna be Ethan?

He’s way too much of a pussy to ride a motorcycle. Pregnant May would have to ride it and he’ll cling to her from behind like the low-T crybaby he is.

 

[alan thicke]

Ralph's anatomy wouldn't allow him to ride a motorcycle. Imagine him trying to stretch out his piggy arms far enough to wrap those dainty sausage fingers around the grips, while that filthy bifurcated gunt attempts to swallow the gas tank.

Nevermind that he'd need a step stool to get on, and even then his legs would be too short to reach the kickstand.

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

Chad Rad Ralph owning the KF. You wouldn’t have to get a car seat for bastard baby #2

 

[Jump]

Ralph's buddies at the Richmand Nissan show 4 sentra's in stock.
Why hasn't ralph picked one up?



I would bet most people in this thread could drive out with one with nothing but a signature. Whats up Ralph?

 

[Paddy O' Furniture]

Ralph's buddies at the Richmand Nissan show 4 sentra's in stock.
Why hasn't ralph picked one up?

View attachment 2739142

I would bet most people in this thread could drive out with one with nothing but a signature. Whats up Ralph?

God I love the internet.

 

[Beavis]

These fuckin aylawgs won’t finance the ralphamale without a 20% down payment. Fuckin faggots.