FIGGIN [2 Jan 19] Phil Bounces and Squeaks for fear of missing Tugboat - Threatens civil war.

[Tragi-Chan]

Why is it in here that the idea of him getting the chop is seemingly equivalent to a holocaust discussion on /pol/?

Is it really so controversial that his sex change, unlike the holocaust, did in fact happen?

I’m on the fence, but are lots of reasons to doubt it.

Spoiler: The Conspiracy

1. Phil lies about everything, especially if he thinks it’ll impress us. He’s previously lied about an orchiectomy.
2. Phil claimed to have a number of other appointments in the run-up to surgery, which he mostly forgot about or which didn’t make much sense in scheduling terms.
3. The surgery letter he posted looked incredibly fake.
4. Our Kiwi agent in the hospital said he wasn’t down for surgery.
5. The laxative he had was over-the-counter.
6. The dressing didn’t look very typical.
7. Phil didn’t behave like someone who’d recently had surgery under GA. He amended his behavior when we pointed this out.
8. Toren didn’t even once mention Phil having the surgery, even though Phil said he came to see him (after we pointed it out)
9. Phil was back in street clothes way too soon.
10. His “hospital bed” looked suspiciously like a hotel.
11. Xochi was typing while Phil was supposedly asleep.
12. The only evidence we have that the fake vag in the photo is Phil’s is a thigh tattoo that we’ve never actually seen on Phil before.
13. Phil produced three photos and taunted us, saying he was going to punish us by posting more. Then he suddenly changed his mind and said he was going to punish us by not posting anything else until September.
14. Phil knows at least one other fat Antifa troon sperg who could have helped him fake it.
15. Phil rarely mentions the life-changing surgery unless we do, which is consistent with his lies.
16. Before and immediately after the surgery, every time we expressed doubts about aspects of it, he was quick to respond with something to “prove” we were wrong. Yet with this, which should be incredibly easy to prove, he’s stayed quiet.
17. Phil is a barely-functioning male-presenting tard with the mind of a 13-year-old boy. You’d have to be a pretty bad doctor to sign him off for this.

 

[JosephTX]

I’m on the fence, but are lots of reasons to doubt it.

Spoiler: The Conspiracy

1. Phil lies about everything, especially if he thinks it’ll impress us. He’s previously lied about an orchiectomy.
2. Phil claimed to have a number of other appointments in the run-up to surgery, which he mostly forgot about or which didn’t make much sense in scheduling terms.
3. The surgery letter he posted looked incredibly fake.
4. Our Kiwi agent in the hospital said he wasn’t down for surgery.
5. The laxative he had was over-the-counter.
6. The dressing didn’t look very typical.
7. Phil didn’t behave like someone who’d recently had surgery under GA. He amended his behavior when we pointed this out.
8. Toren didn’t even once mention Phil having the surgery, even though Phil said he came to see him (after we pointed it out)
9. Phil was back in street clothes way too soon.
10. His “hospital bed” looked suspiciously like a hotel.
11. Xochi was typing while Phil was supposedly asleep.
12. The only evidence we have that the fake vag in the photo is Phil’s is a thigh tattoo that we’ve never actually seen on Phil before.
13. Phil produced three photos and taunted us, saying he was going to punish us by posting more. Then he suddenly changed his mind and said he was going to punish us by not posting anything else until September.
14. Phil knows at least one other fat Antifa troon sperg who could have helped him fake it.
15. Phil rarely mentions the life-changing surgery unless we do, which is consistent with his lies.
16. Before and immediately after the surgery, every time we expressed doubts about aspects of it, he was quick to respond with something to “prove” we were wrong. Yet with this, which should be incredibly easy to prove, he’s stayed quiet.
17. Phil is a barely-functioning male-presenting tard with the mind of a 13-year-old boy. You’d have to be a pretty bad doctor to sign him off for this.

Isn't Portland full of extremely bad doctors who sign off on retarded shit being the mecca of hipsterism?

 

[Positron]

Isn't Portland full of extremely bad doctors who sign off on exceptional shit being the mecca of hipsterism?

Yes, but the waiting list for major but frivolous shit is fucking long, especially for Obamacare beneficiaries.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Isn't Portland full of extremely bad doctors who sign off on exceptional shit being the mecca of hipsterism?

It’s certainly not impossible, and that’s why I’m on the fence. Generally the main counterpoint is that Phil is too dumb to plan a hoax like that, but the presence of other troons opens the possibility up.

 

[ON 190]

His GRS, in the end, doesn’t matter. Either he lied and faked it, which is hilarious, or he actually got it, which is also hilarious. Debating it is pretty much useless.

 

[MasterDisaster]

His GRS, in the end, doesn’t matter. Either he lied and faked it, which is hilarious, or he actually got it, which is also hilarious. Debating it is pretty much useless.

Agreed. In the end nothing changed for him so it really just makes it all the more hilarious.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Agreed. In the end nothing changed for him so it really just makes it all the more hilarious.

Either way, he thought he’d triumph over us and instead got laughed at.

 

[GayestFurryTrash]

Either way, he thought he’d triumph over us and instead got laughed at.

This is what will be carved into his tombstone when he finally passes.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

a 13-year-old boy

Fun fact: the Japanese refer to a complex during that age as 中二病 (chuunibyou) -- "middle of middle school syndrome" -- where someone mistakenly thinks they have special powers or they're a badass or something like that. Phil is like that + poser.

 

[Mogambo]

Why is it in here that the idea of him getting the chop is seemingly equivalent to a holocaust discussion on /pol/?

Is it really so controversial that his sex change, unlike the holocaust, did in fact happen?

Tragi-Chan has pretty much summed up all of the reasons to be skeptical. When it first happened, I was willing to take his claims at face value, mostly because its hilarious to imagine a straight autistic white man getting surgery to slice off his dick to "stick it to the man" all in the name of identity politics, but the more time passes, the less I believe it actually happened. Still, stranger things are possible. It could well be that Phil is dumb and weird enough to not be able to just take a picture of his stink ditch, not that anyone would actually want to see that in the first place mind you. Or perhaps he has regrets because he never had gender dysphoria in the first place. In fact, if he did get the surgery, he'd be considered truscum by the same troons he idolizes so he only had one chance to really use his GRS sob story, and he may well have blown it.

Regardless as to whether or not he did get chopped, Phil wasn't expecting us to laugh at him. He genuinely doesn't grasp that something he thinks of as "cool" is an utter joke to other people. We don't care about tranny identity politics. We don't view getting rid of your genitals as a radical political stance. If Phil did, then he permanently screwed up his life for the sake of a childish whim, just like his body full of absolutely shit tier tattoos which he couldn't bother even taking a couple of hours to think over before he rushed out to get them. If he's lying about it, well then he's put far more effort into doing this than he has anything else, up to and including getting a job so he could afford more tattoos, cheese and airsoft guns. Or riding a bicycle. Remember how important that was for him? Also, given that Phil is so incredibly stupid, he will almost certainly forget about it in a few months to a year if he is lying, because he has constantly proven he forgets his lies, even lies that are important to him. Come June, he'd just start begging for money for GRS again (and he may well do that).

Fun fact: the Japanese refer to a complex during that age as 中二病 (chuunibyou) -- "middle of middle school syndrome" -- where someone mistakenly thinks they have special powers or they're a badass or something like that. Phil is like that + poser.

Also appropriate because he's a total weeb!

 

[AnOminous]

If Phil did, then he permanently screwed up his life for the sake of a childish whim, just like his body full of absolutely shit tier tattoos which he couldn't bother even taking a couple of hours to think over before he rushed out to get them.

His stupidity is that he had plenty of hours to do just that. He actually drew these pathetic tard scribbles and had them tattooed on him, insisting that they look exactly as fucked up and retarded as he drew them originally.

Phil is so deeply dumb, such a moron, that even given plenty of time to reconsider something, he's just too stupid to figure out what would be the right thing to do. He can ponder something with as much brainpower as he has, for hours or days, and his decision will always be completely idiotic anyway.

 

[AF 802]

Reading this and all I can think is: Phil. Literally NOBODY here cares you're on a tugboat. That's not our business to a-log anybody who's abusing the disability system because "mUh TaXeS". What we give you shit for is your retarded behavior against trolls. This whole site is a list of people who didn't listen to the old "don't feed the trolls" saying and got mad on the Internet at some tiny children.

 

[nvrwastetree]

It's not even the middle of the month and Phil has already started e-begging (11 Jan 2019):
View attachment 638182
Go rob a store Phil. What's the worst that can happen? Just some minimum-wager having to mop up the potato paste on the floor.

Oh fuck, I would love to see Phil actually go in a store and try to steal food because you just know he will look shady as fuck and get caught, then arrested when he attempts to use his mace on a cop. Hey Phil, actually getting a part time job would fix all your problems, but then again, you're too fat and lazy, just like Chris, to ever want to get a job. We are all awaiting the day your landlord finally gets sick of your mouth and evicts you.

Why is it in here that the idea of him getting the chop is seemingly equivalent to a holocaust discussion on /pol/?

Is it really so controversial that his sex change, unlike the holocaust, did in fact happen?

Go back and read the GRS thread and you'll see why no one here believes him.

 

[AnOminous]

Reading this and all I can think is: Phil. Literally NOBODY here cares you're on a tugboat.

His tard bucks are funny, though, because he gets them for being a tard. Anyway, it's not even a tugboat. Chris has a tugboat. Phil has an inner tube.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Reading this and all I can think is: Phil. Literally NOBODY here cares you're on a tugboat. That's not our business to a-log anybody who's abusing the disability system because "mUh TaXeS". What we give you shit for is your exceptional behavior against trolls. This whole site is a list of people who didn't listen to the old "don't feed the trolls" saying and got mad on the Internet at some tiny children.

Yeah. The way I see it, if Phil’s so fat that the government has decreed that he can’t work, that’s between him and them.

 

[Adamska]

Go back and read the GRS thread and you'll see why no one here believes him.

Eh, It's split honestly from the people I talk to about spudman. I personally lean mildly towards him faking, but don't give a shit either way. Phil cut his nards off, I'll laugh that he did it as a "take dat fash" move that he clearly regrets due to his increased demands for destruction and guns. Didn't do it? Then I'll laugh that he put more effort into this lie than learning to ride a bike (even if he needed training wheels due to having shit balance).

 

[ToroidalBoat]

If Phil faked getting GRS, how did he convince asspatters to help with the charade?

 

[wellthathappened]

Phil hated his useless genitals and the taxpayers of his area seem to be on board with funding such things. The pics with the tattoos were also far beyond Phil's Photoshopping abilities. I think he got his junk chopped off.

With that said, I would happily be wrong. The world would be a little less grim.