User Sub 2014-03-05 - Chris shoplifts from Best Buy

[CWCissey]

I don't really believe this at this time. Obviously PVCC has provided us with accurate information in this past, but given the date.... Well, if things don't change early next week, then I'll believe that Chris was stupid enough to try to do this.

I believe Marvin, he's a TRUE and HONEST source and I don't think he's ever been wrong, besides, I can see Chris doing this kind of shit.

 

[A-№1]

But apparently I just noticed a small detail that completely confirmed this for me. I would've told this story earlier, but I wasn't that confident until now.

Can you share what that small detail is? Chris' personal morality is pretty, well, "unsophisticated" might be a good word for it, and I always figured he was firmly in the "stealing is bad" camp. Then again he did once believe "drinking is bad" and has shown a consistent pattern of holding moral positions for others (and preaching them) that he does not believe apply to himself.

Even so, though, apart from some very specific and not immediately visible details, Chris in public is almost indistinguishable from the average fat, balding, greasy weirdo. There would have to be something definitively Chris like about the particular fat, balding, greasy weirdo who was caught shoplifting to make me think it was really Chris. I'm not saying it couldn't have been him, just that whoever identified him could have been mistaken.

^If Chris tried to murder a person by shooting them with a gun, but failed because doctors managed to save the victim's life, Chris would argue that he didn't actually commit murder so it shouldn't count.

Technically, Chris would be correct there. But he would be nailed for attempted murder, which is punished almost as harshly (and has the additional stigma of incompetence - attempted murder doesn't have nearly the prison cachet as murder).

Hitler never tried to shoplift from Best Buy. Just sayin.

Nor did the CWCki make Chris shoplift. Or the trolls or the weens.

 

[NegaCWC]

Can you share what that small detail is?

It might have been the fact that Chris stole large amount of money from his parents.

 

[Some JERK]

This doesn't surprise me in the least. Chris is firmly in the "my life is so bad that these things are practically owed to me so I'm going to take them."-mindset, and he has been for some time now. He no longer sees C-Ville as the AWESOME and COOL city that he once cared for and took pride in. He is the angry dragon punishing the town because it failed to surrender unto him one of its prettiest, virgin daughters.

Also, PROTIP: If you're gonna shoplift, don't look like someone who the AP/LP guys are gonna watch on the security monitors for pure entertainment.

 

[KatsuKitty]

Just for clarification, is it only a criminal act if the stuff is carried out the door and/or off the premises?

Concealing merchandise in a store is enough to demonstrate intent of shoplifting.

 

[Descent]

If Chris is doing this to try and get store credit, do you think it's his way of trying to get a PS4?

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

^If Chris tried to murder a person by shooting them with a gun, but failed because doctors managed to save the victim's life, Chris would argue that he didn't actually commit murder so it shouldn't count.

Brother,

 

[KatsuKitty]

If Chris is doing this to try and get store credit, do you think it's his way of trying to get a PS4?

You're probably not far off the mark. Chris has been in Financial Downfall to the Depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By for quite a while, and I suspect this is a ploy to maintain his video game addiction, especially considering the cockamamie scheme to return them for store credit.

Also, it's 2014. You'd think he'd figure out piracy by now considering that's how the 21st century (man)child steals games, although that does require a level of technical sophistication which is probably why Sony isn't too worried about pirates.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

I always figured he was firmly in the "stealing is bad" camp. Then again he did once believe "drinking is bad" and has shown a consistent pattern of holding moral positions for others (and preaching them) that he does not believe apply to himself.

Oh, Chris is huge about being a good and moral person, until those morals are inconvenient for him. He believes that if something isn't easy to do, it isn't worth doing.

 

[CatParty]

You're probably not far off the mark. Chris has been in Financial Downfall to the Depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By for quite a while, and I suspect this is a ploy to maintain his video game addiction, especially considering the cockamamie scheme to return them for store credit.

Also, it's 2014. You'd think he'd figure out piracy by now considering that's how the 21st century (man)child steals games, although that does require a level of technical sophistication which is probably why Sony isn't too worried about pirates.

I think that's where his brand loyalty comes in. He wouldn't want to "steal from Sony" directly, but he's totally justified to steal from other places in order to shovel money over to sony.

 

[Ghost Got Double Dipped]

So was he trying to steal video games? DVDs? Or what?

 

[Smutley]

Technically, Chris would be correct there. But he would be nailed for attempted murder, which is punished almost as harshly (and has the additional stigma of incompetence - attempted murder doesn't have nearly the prison cachet as murder).

There was this guy on Death Row recently that Gawker had a major hardon about. He'd been arguing to the day he was put down that he was innocent of murder because he never killed the guy, he was being drummed up for being a nigger in texas and blah blah blah.

The murdered mans brother wrote a rebuttal that explained Ray Jasper slit his brothers throat, but the county determined it was the multiple stab wounds that actually KILLED him. That was his legal defense. "I didn't KILL him. I just stabbed a guy that was my friend a bunch, slit his throat, and robbed him of thousands of dollars of recording equipment but the other guys with me actually KILLED him. I'm innocent and framed!"

Why am I mentioning all this? Because that's the exact legal defense Chris would try to mount as he self-represented himself in court. "I didn't steal things, I just put them up my shirt to keep them warm so they would hatch from their plastic cases. I didn't murder that man, my car murdered him while I sat inside it."

 

[FinalSolution]

You're probably not far off the mark. Chris has been in Financial Downfall to the Depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By for quite a while, and I suspect this is a ploy to maintain his video game addiction, especially considering the cockamamie scheme to return them for store credit.

Also, it's 2014. You'd think he'd figure out piracy by now considering that's how the 21st century (man)child steals games, although that does require a level of technical sophistication which is probably why Sony isn't too worried about pirates.

Looks to me like he was planning on making money rather than getting the goods for consumption. Suggests finances in the Chandler household are getting very grim.

 

[_blank_]

I would love to hear this story from Chris' point of view. I wonder just how distorted his retelling would be.

Probably be some sob story about his house burning down and the firemen stealing their things. Then he'll punctuate his story about how da twolls have been torturing his life and his high school gal pals no longer want to hang out with him and talk about boy bands.

OT, I'm going to say if this the actual case (no offense to Marvin's account but I'm not fully prepared to believe it until I hear about this "one detail" (I'm guessing it would be his iDea Book hanging around his neck), I really wish I was surprised. Chris, however, has proven time and again to be a coward and a thief. My assumption is after the fire, Barb has been a lot more protective about their finances, and Chris no longer has easy access to Barb's credit cards. Yeah, I know he has his own too, but I would hazard a guess they've been maxed out since the fire, and dammit, Chris needs his vidya!

 

[Thetan]

So...why hasn't he been arrested for this yet? Is Best Buy waiting for a case of vehicular assault, or....?

If anything did happen because of this, I'm certain that he'd play the 'tism card, or baaaaaw for Rocky to rescue him or something like that......

 

[Thetan]

Best Buy is one of the only stores around that keeps vidya games outside of locked cabinets, albeit they are in hard plastic cases which would make shoplifting them very hard. If he tried walking out with one he'd trip alarms before he even exited the door...oh, and he's been well known at Best Buy for years if you go off what the cwcki says.

The one in Concord NH has employees stationed by the door, who compare the items you're leaving with against your receipt. Funny... I thought all Best Buys did this.

 

[Thetan]

It might have been the fact that Chris stole large amount of money from his parents.

Well..... if this was the same fat greasy weirdo who was also seen throwing poke balls at women, then I'd say that's a fairly clear indicator that this was Chris.

They should have let him make it to the door, then detained him for shoplifting. Also, as the security footage should be enough to get him Charged. As Katsu Kitty said, simply attempting to conceal merchandise is enough to warrant a shoplifting charge. Letting him get away with this isn't doing him any favors.

 

[4Macie]

The one in Concord NH has employees stationed by the door, who compare the items you're leaving with against your receipt. Funny... I thought all Best Buys did this.

The best buy in my town has a guy at the door, but he only checks your stuff if you have "big ticket" items like a tv or a computer or something. He doesn't ever check if it's something that's just in a bag. BUT he will ask for a receipt check if you chose to not take your purchase in a bag (like if you want to just carry out your game/dvd/whatever and don't need a bag to do so). It's funny though, don't MOST best buy games come in those plastic cartridges that you need a special tool/key to remove? If Chris couldn't remove those plastic cases and tried to return them to the store for credit, he'd have definitely been caught.

 

[Some JERK]

The one in Concord NH has employees stationed by the door, who compare the items you're leaving with against your receipt. Funny... I thought all Best Buys did this.

At my local Best Buy the guy I see the most at that station is about 6'5" and built like a tank. I actually appreciate that they aren't even trying to be subtle about why he's there. He's not always there though. I think that Chris may have pulled this during a time where that station isn't scheduled. Kinda like how sometimes you see the elderly Walmart greeters at the doors and sometimes you don't.

 

[Ace_Reloaded]

If Chris doesn't go back in and try it again, most likely nothing will come of it. I work for a different corporate electronics retailer and when it comes to shoplifting you pretty much have to be spotted by police (not the store) carrying the item out while firing a gun and wearing a cartoon criminal mask before you'll get arrested. Anything less is deemed too likely to cause a lawsuit/liability or spend too much money on prosecution to be worth it. Technically, yeah, even trying to conceal the stuff is illegal, but most stores just want to scare the thief out, which they were successful in doing in Chris' case. My guess is Best Buy is similar. Corporate overlords are pussies. They might take some stills from the video and e-mail them around to other stores, but other than being hovered over if he goes in the store again, there's a strong chance he'll never get in trouble for this.