2019-04-10 DSP Got Married - Replacing the Gorilla Munch mascot put us on the bad timeline.

How long will it last?

  • 6 months

    Votes: 191 30.3%

  • 1 year

    Votes: 150 23.8%

  • 2 years

    Votes: 88 13.9%

  • 3 years

    Votes: 28 4.4%

  • until DSP's death at 60

    Votes: 174 27.6%
  • Total voters
    631
I almost fucking got it right, I thought he was going to get engaged to Kat and his parents were going to buy the ring. Nope his parents payed for the wedding, they were already engaged, holy fuck. He hates his parents, I knew there was a reason he was kissing there asses and flying to Connecticut, a place he hates more than anything. Jesus even his parents have to cash out their retirement to feed his unrelenting hunger for money, well..... I guess good for him. Hopefully he doesn't find her texting another irrelevant Let's Player, godspeed DSP, wishing you a lot of luck. Hopefully Kat isn't knocked up with Phil Jr.

Also as a side note she must have had an engagement ring because that looks like a classic engagement ring locked into a wedding band, now we know why piggy has been fundraising so hard. Likely what he blew all the Christmas begging money on.
 
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I don't know if this has been asked, but does the fact that Phil is now married change his tax class? Or does his credit score benift from it?
I am just thinking about this marriage but this has to net him some benefits. He might want to get on Kate's health insurance plan. I don't know how good the health care plan for game stop employees is.
 
PutridElephant said:
In order for this to be true, that means he has a bucketload of money but refuses to use it to pay his debts with it. He expects his paypigs to.
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What I dont get is why he claims he hid the wedding for his safety. Anyone who cares enough to want to harm him could find out kwhere his parents live and knew that he was going to be there at some point during the trip . If someone wanted to do something to him, the fact that he was getting married was irrelevant. Even if it was relevant, what's stopping somebody from showing up there now.
 
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Comma said:
Where? You're posting a general link that shows nothing in particular except for a collection of rings that doesn't contain the exact ring(s) Kat is wearing.

If you found anything, link it directly or post screenshots.
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Im at work on my phone ,check the galery its the fifth picture I think, might update the post when I get home
 
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It's like a missing persons poster of the same two people, aged up 20 years by glitchy computer algorithms.
 
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I never lied!

Okay I lied about getting married, but the rest was all true! Honest!

Well except when I said I never met Sammy the cat before. But that wasn't a lie exactly, I just misremembered things, okay?

So other than those two little things that I was lying about, it was all true!

Well, I might have also said my parents were sick and dying. Let me explain. That's technically true! We're all dying every day, I could have died when the detractors sent the entire Seattle SWAT team to my house! Okay some idiot who doesn't know what they're talking about says the SWAT team doesn't call you ahead of time. Banned.
 
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I am certainly amused by the whole wedding saga.

Everything about his relationship with Khet screams speed run and redemption run. Barely dated her for 6 months before moving her in, tieing the knot after just one year of living together.

Even the pictures are Dsp levels of lazy and rushed. I certainly hope they had some pictures taken or at least had mom / dad Burnell take a few shots of them at a nice park or something. Because if those rushed smartphone pics are all they have of the big day... That'd be just sad, and not even in a funny way.

Khet just looks unfortunate on the pictures, there's no putting that gently. They both do, actually. Rushed seems to be the only constant in dsps life. Rushing thru games, rushing to clock out of streams, rushing with spending money to even rushing his own wedding and marriage. People can wear hand me downs /heirlooms without looking like a joke. But I guess that would require dsp to care about that.

I will not touch the scam / financial angle because he just overdid that way too much. It became stale and predictable like clockwork. As i said tho, the wedding is a meme level event because yes, there were theories about him getting married during the CT trip but it was so far out there that it's a genuine surprise.

My prediction for divorce&taken-to-the-cleaners-any%: 12 months.

As much as we all sure wish the newlyweds al the best (and with minimal power level) I know from personal experience in my circles that rushed marriages like that often end in a spectacular implosion...
 
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