[2024] Kiwi Farms Physical Newspaper - Possibly the dumbest idea I've ever had, 2023 edition

[Null]

I sit and think of ways to break everything and now I want to test the postal system. Why?

1. The Internet sucks.
2. With printing, I can't be censored, the site can go down and I will have a way to contact the most important supporters of the site.
3. It would be funny.
4. It would create a physical presence that allows me to conduct legitimate business in a state, perhaps one like North Dakota which has a public bank I need a reason to join.
5. I can accept payment by check.

The biggest con is the actual work involved and needing to keep a list of addresses to mail to.

However, like with all our merchandise, not everyone who buys has an account, and there is no association between account and subscription.

I was thinking once a month or less frequent.

I'm dead serious. I am insane. I will start a newspaper in North Dakota. I don't care anymore. Fuck tht Internet.

 

[sadrefrigerator]

It's probably harder than you think and there's probably lot sof obstacles you haven't thought of yet.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

3. is compelling enough to go through with it.

 

[The Last Stand]

You'd be better off doing an online magazine. I thought Kiwi Farms was apolitical; a newspaper would defeat the purpose.

 

[Null]

It's probably harder than you think and there's probably lot sof obstacles you haven't thought of yet.

Yes. I would need input from the industry.

 

[BirdUp]

i will pay you four dollars to put my ads in your paper

 

[Null]

You'd be better off doing an online magazine. I thought Kiwi Farms was apolitical; a newspaper would defeat the purpose.

I'm confused how printing stories from the site is political

 

[Judas Connor Moon]

NIGGER YOU BEST DO IT!

 

[ConsentAccidentVictimNo98]

The Farms has become journoscum, the deliverer of half truths.

But yeah, there's definitely a market for this form of content in physical print given the prevalence of Tabloids

 

[Dialtone]

I'm unfamiliar with physically printing on newspaper, but maybe you could make magazines with a black/white laser jet, unsure how expensive that would be to ship it or whether or not it would be worth it, but a one time run would be really funny.

You could have obituaries when lolcows pass, classified ads for shitposters, feature drawings of the week, respond directly to user ideas in the form of a one way convo, I think it would be a lot of fun.

 

[JackoVerde]

we need a comic artist to add the funny papers
would stonetoss let us just add them to the paper?

But yeah, there's definitely a market for this form of content in physical print given the prevalence of Tabloids

imagine lolcow tabloids in the grocery store
could be some boomers introduction to chantal. or ethan ralph.

 

[The Last Stand]

I'm confused how printing stories from the site is political

What stories would be on this hypothetical newspaper? If KF is down for the nth time because of Big Tech? The featured section of the home page, but in print? Who would write it? Given how many lolcows and current events have some political slant, it'd take some doing to avoid an obvious political slant. Of course, that's just my take.

 

[JackoVerde]

What stories would be on this hypothetical newspaper?

ethan ralph gets served 10 times at his own wrestling event
dick masterson broke every bone in his body
vito is an ironic pedophile
chantal's latest shenanigans in kuwait
nick rekieta is a degernerate
someone could probably come up with better stuff.

 

[Osama Bin Laden]

I'm dead serious. I am insane. I will start a newspaper in North Dakota. I don't care anymore. Fuck tht Internet.

can't wait till the paperboy throws my weekly MATI update

 

[The Last Stand]

can't wait till the paperboy throws my weekly MATI update

Instead it'd be MITP. Mad in the Papers.

 

[Null]

What stories would be on this hypothetical newspaper? If KF is down for the nth time because of Big Tech? The featured section of the home page, but in print? Who would write it? Given how many lolcows and current events have some political slant, it'd take some doing to avoid an obvious political slant. Of course, that's just my take.

Anything that gets featured or ends up in my podcast as a baseline.

I would. Maybe I'd accept random contributions. I love the idea of putting in comics like stone toss. He's political but we could get a few different ones to balance it out.

 

[Nicholas II of Russia]

I would love to have a physical newspaper of the Kiwi Farms, but it'll be a shame for me because it will not reach this part of the world. I'm would miss the daily sperging and the lolcows.

 

[Shidoen]

Why not let us just print it off at home and make us use our own paper? Hell maybe the old copy building still exist and we can spread the news that way.

 

[The Last Stand]

I would. Maybe I'd accept random contributions. I love the idea of putting in comics like stone toss. He's political but we could get a few different ones to balance it out.

Maybe have an opinion section. Maybe a dollar a submission to have a user express themselves in print on your paper.

 

[Null]

Why not let us just print it off at home and make us use our own paper? Hell maybe the old copy building still exist and we can spread the news that way.

Because that totally defeats the purpose. Online, no funds, and no North Dakota