[2024] Kiwi Farms Physical Newspaper - Possibly the dumbest idea I've ever had, 2023 edition

[TheOtherSideofMakeBelieve]

It would be funny

this is all I need. Call it (or at least have a section titled) Mad at the Sneaknernet

 

[Secret Messages]

you could have fun with this, do a page for each subforum and do thread highlights from it. Put the coffee on and flip to deep thoughts for a laugh.

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

Needs a 'Silver Coin o' the Week' section and a crossword puzzle where none of the words fit so has no solution. That'll distract the troons away from their DDOS machines.

 

[Null]

The one fly in the ointment I can think of is physical newspapers are not protected by anything like § 230.

I've considered this. I'll ask an attorney but I am pretty sure if I just reprint the statements of others, watch what I say myself, and maybe even note clearly that the paper is the diatribes of a lunatic it will be safe

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

Classified ads like the old Soldier of Fortune magazine. Mercenaries for hire, blood-stained war memorabilia for sale, etc. Maybe a pull-out for Serbian Real Estate and Used Cars.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

Needs a 'Silver Coin o' the Week' section and a crossword puzzle where none of the words fit so has no solution. That'll distract the troons away from their DDOS machines.

I want sneedoku puzzles too

 

[Dialtone]

Elektronisch Vogelfrei
Cyberspace Vogelfrei
Vogelfrei Jodler
Verdammt Vogelfrei
Vogelfrei Quarterly
Vogelfrie Verachtung
Verruct Vogelfrei

These are just some that are German themed, I wanted to think of something that sounds cool when you say it like Lone Gunman or something similar but it's a bit hard in German.

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

Elektronisch Vogelfrei
Cyberspace Vogelfrei
Vogelfrei Jodler
Verdammt Vogelfrei
Vogelfrei Quarterly
Vogelfrie Verachtung
Verruct Vogelfrei

These are just some that are German themed, I wanted to think of something that sounds cool when you say it like Lone Gunman or something similar but it's a bit hard in German.

Der Mein Kampf Monthly
Published Bi-Weekly

[thanks, I'll see myself out]

 

[DOUBLE_WHEEL]

The one fly in the ointment I can think of is physical newspapers are not protected by anything like § 230.

Yeah, but I'm pretty he's got the first amendment protecting him instead in print and tabloids often get away with similar topics in print on much bigger people. He'd just have to make sure articles are using neutral language and presenting facts, but I'd love them to be written like Sunday sport headlines.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

So wait a minute, if I were to write a news article for this paper that would make me a member of the press wouldn't it? Get to call myself a journalist and everything. That's pretty funny.

 

[Secret Messages]

Yeah, but I'm pretty he's got the first amendment protecting him instead in print and tabloids often get away with similar topics in print on much bigger people. He'd just have to make sure articles are using neutral language and presenting facts, but I'd love them to be written like Sunday sport headlines.

random naked lolcow on page 3

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

So wait a minute, if I were to write a news article for this paper that would make me a member of the press wouldn't it? Get to call myself a journalist and everything. That's pretty funny.

You'd be an official journalist too, not one of those internet fags. Posers.

 

[AStupidMonkey]

Whatever the title, make sure it looks good and neutral on a "press pass."

My suggestion is retarded, but I'll tender it anyways: The Gooseberry Press.

Sticker me up, faggots!

 

[Lord Xenu]

It's probably harder than you think and there's probably lot sof obstacles you haven't thought of yet.

Back in the 90's there were all kinds of newsletters and "Zines". Every retard with an opinion had one. That is perfectly in line with the ethos here.

 

[Pope Urban]

Yes, I want nothing more than this. But you'd have to bring some people on board. You can't run the site, legal battles, biweekly podcast, and everything else all on your own. you'd want to recruit some writers and team up with someone who can print for you. Also need a way to process payments for the site's paper. Who do you have in mind? Editors? journalists?

Keep in mind that section 230 won't protect you when publishing a newspaper. You'll need to be more careful than you are with the site.

ChatGPT says you need the following:

1. "Writers/Contributors: The same as before, you'll need individuals who are skilled in writing and have a strong understanding of the culture and trends of your parent forum. They should also have a knack for humorous writing.
2. Editor(s): Editors will help refine the content that your writers produce, ensuring it fits the tone and style of your publication. They'll need to be meticulous about grammar, spelling, and punctuation.
3. Researcher(s): This role might be more specifically about understanding the in-jokes, trends, and topics from your parent forum. They should be deeply involved in the community, and able to spot potential stories or topics of interest.
4. Graphic Designer: The look and feel of your physical newspaper is essential. A graphic designer will create a consistent and eye-catching layout for your newspaper and design any graphics or images you might need.
5. Printer Coordinator: This person would be responsible for liaising with the printing company, ensuring the paper is printed to your specifications, coordinating delivery dates, etc.
6. Distribution/Shipping Manager: You'll need someone to handle the logistics of mailing the newspaper to your subscribers. This could include managing subscriber lists, packaging papers for mail, and coordinating with postal services.
7. Proofreader: This person will be responsible for checking the final proofs of the paper for errors before it goes to print.
8. Forum Liaison: This role involves interacting with the parent forum. They will keep an eye on relevant discussions, respond to queries about the newspaper, and promote the paper within the forum.
9. Legal Advisor: As before, having someone with a basic understanding of media law is useful. This person will ensure your content doesn't infringe on copyright laws or libel anyone.
10. Subscription Manager: Someone will need to manage subscriptions, handle renewals and new subscribers, and maintain the mailing list.

With a clear division of roles like this, your team can ensure a smooth operation from research and writing all the way to distribution."

With new possibilities for payment processing, this could just be possible. Best of luck Jersh!

I love the idea of putting in comics like stone toss. He's political but we could get a few different ones to balance it out.

Stone Toss and similar comics would strengthen the "Nazi" label of your publication, and damage the fact that it's a humor paper. Though maybe that's a moot point idk.

 

[Canned Ham]

Jared Vogelfrei

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

I've considered this. I'll ask an attorney but I am pretty sure if I just reprint the statements of others, watch what I say myself, and maybe even note clearly that the paper is the diatribes of a lunatic it will be safe

I hate to spoil this but you know you don't actually have to conduct business to form an LLC or whatever right? People create placeholder corporations named after themselves every day. JM Enterprises Incorporated, etc. The only thing the state cares about is the initial paperwork being filed out, basic Articles of Incorporation and named officers on file. Just keep paying the annual fee(s) to remain in good standing.

Or buy a printing press and publish a newspaper. Hell, get fancy and take the easy Tech exam for an amateur radio license and broadcast MATI on shortwave like InfoWars.

 

[Takodachi]

What would you do if the addresses get leaked?

 

[Breadbassket]

Or buy a printing press and publish a newspaper. Hell, get fancy and take the easy Tech exam for an amateur radio license and broadcast MATI on shortwave like InfoWars.

Honestly this sounds cheaper and requires less people then trying to operate a newspaper consistently. Null would have to pay for air time though and I am unsure how much that costs.

 

[Gunty King]

The mail and USPS have already been tested. Don't forget about all the shit Charles Coughlin went through trying to get his newspaper out to the masses. If the President or the Postal service don't want to distribute your newspaper they'll find some bullshit reasoning not to do so, 1st amendment and Supreme Court be damned.