28 Jun 2015 - Half-assed suicide baiting

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Fuck you, Phil. Either go all the way or get rid of those shitty tattoos, gringo.
 
Phil is being extra-extra selfish here. Three reasons.
  1. Much as marks like Kinnay are to way to blame for a lack of critical thinking, Phil is still taking advantage of them. Compassion is a finite resource, and thus asking for compassion is a zero-sum game: that which you take could have been given to someone else - if you didn't really need it you deprived someone who potentially did.
  2. The Golden Gate bridge is either the first or second highest volume suicide location in the world. There are cameras and special response staff on constant watch to try to intercept jumpers. From 2018 there's going to be an enormous safety net running along the underside of the bridge to catch people, which is being installed at a cost of $76 million dollars. In summary, there's enough sufficiently motivated people wanting to jump of the GGB, and it really isn't fair to add unnecessary pressure on those who are working hard to help them.
  3. In traditional media at least, research has found an association between coverage of suicides and an increase in copycat attempts. More detailed coverage (including method and location) is more strongly associated with copycatting. I've not seen any studies covering social media, but based on available evidence it's possible that by drawing this needless attention to the idea of jumping off the GGB, Phil might have exacerbated someone's genuine suicidal feelings.
 
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Don't let the door hit you on the way out!
Humanoid Email Address said:
He should cover himself from head to toe in suicide threat tattoos. Only by the time that he looks like The Nameless One will he be done.

Maybe he could also branch out from simple suicide threats in doing so. Say, add a few that are threats to police officers lives, that way he can experiment with new and different suicide baiting methods.
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On that note, I don't know whether immortality would be a blessing or a curse for Phil. On the downside, would ANYONE fall for his pity-fishing if they knew he couldn't die forever? On the other hand, immortality would mean that Phil could have the satisfaction of making repeated suicide threats while also being able actually go through with it each time, this making his asspatters feel even worse for him.

"I'm tired of being harassed by #gamergaters. I'M GOING TO GUVKING KILL MYSELF BY JUMPING OFF THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE. See you guys tomorrow. Just make sure I'm back up in time for my next tattoo appointment."
 
It's a shame that he didn't go through with it but then that was never in doubt. Hoovsie was doing this for the attention and the asspats.

You see, if you truly want to kill yourself you don't tell anybody what you're planning to do. You just do it. Sure you might write a suicide note telling people why you did it. But suicidal people will not make facebook posts threatening it, will not take phone calls from their friends who are trying to talk them down and sure the hell won't tell people where they plan on doing it.

So all this drama? Comes to nothing and one of these days even Kinnay won't bother to respond because she's finally had enough.
 
Ravenor said:
1) Hooves it mentally retarded but is able to climb stairs, walk unaided and is generally physically able, so disabled access isn't a issue.
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Don't forget that he's currently aiming to beat the Slaton cholesterol high score, so the doors have to be operable by those encumbered with sealion-esque flippers. Not to mention the fact that exertion==oppression.
 
*Asterisk* said:
His suicide attempt will consist of walking down the street and attempting to bump into the shoulder of a black man.
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Sooooooooo, essentially like any other Tuesday?
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Pizza The Hutt said:
So...kinny called the cops, and Phil is now safe and sound with milkshakes aplenty. Sounds like the call to the cops was a ruse.

Correct me if I am wrong but police responding to a suicide attempt means they take you in for a mandatory psych evaluation?
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Yeah or at least they'll bring you to the hospital. If anything someone called Phil and offered him a don't McDoItDinner, and Phil started thinking with his gut not his failing heart.
 
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