A MeToo makeover for James Bond - "It’s young, it’s fun and it is all about female empowerment"

[UnKillFill]

You think this is bad, I still remember this shit back from when I was a kid-

The shitty cartoon is called "James Bond Jr." but the theme song clearly states that the original James Bond is his uncle... Incest is worse than race and gender washing, no?

 

[CWCissey]

You think this is bad, I still remember this shit back from when I was a kid-

The shitty cartoon is called "James Bond Jr." but the theme song clearly states that the original James Bond is his uncle... Incest is worse than race and gender washing, no?

James Bond was an orphan and an only child, that guy's a fraud.

Although I always did love how they made Oddjob look like DMC in that cartoon.

I'd also like to say that James Bond is an alcoholic, misogynistic, chauvinistic, womanising thug that lives off government money.

Isn't that the stereotype black people are looking to dispel?

 

[Corbin Dallas Multipass]

You think this is bad, I still remember this shit back from when I was a kid-

The shitty cartoon is called "James Bond Jr." but the theme song clearly states that the original James Bond is his uncle... Incest is worse than race and gender washing, no?

Oh shit, I forgot all about that stupid show. I watched it when I was a kid, I remember that stupid fucking theme song.

 

[Terrorist]

If this was about xamex bond realizing xir bosses in the british govt are just one long unbroken chain of pedophiles, going rogue, and splattering not-prince-andrew's and not-jeffrey-epstein's brains everywhere, it could be interesting. But the people who make these movies are the same ones who go on yearly vacays to lolita island so don't expect to see that happen.

 

[JohnDoe]

They already tried a female James Bond, it was called Atomic Blonde and it was good. Mostly because it wasn't woke.

 

[Commander X]

Wow, the new black 007 looks badass.

 

[Idiotron]

I get a feeling that this is a trick.
The black girl is really a Bond girl who starts off as the new 007 but by the end, is fucking Craig.
It just seems odd to me that the same studio which made Ghostbusters 2016 and lost $100 million on it, would try the same tactic again, especially now that people are starting to like them again.
Just 2 years ago, they were going bankrupt. Jumanji and Venom saved them.
They HAVE TO know better.

 

[Feline Supremacist]

 

[Ihavetinyweewee]

I get a feeling that this is a trick.
The black girl is really a Bond girl who starts off as the new 007 but by the end, is fucking Craig.
It just seems odd to me that the same studio which made Ghostbusters 2016 and lost $100 million on it, would try the same tactic again, especially now that people are starting to like them again.
Just 2 years ago, they were going bankrupt. Jumanji and Venom saved them.
They HAVE TO know better.

No, Bond and ebony 7 will shake hands in mutual respect(at some point)

Then Bond will go back into retirement.

Or

If they're trying to self contain the Craig stuff: he will be killed(perhaps ambigiously)

If I had to guess: the 00 section is shut down because M is secretly a villian or some shit....

Just depends if they want to emphasize this stuff is its own thing...

 

[Idiotron]

No, Bond and ebony 7 will shake hands in mutual respect(at some point)

Then Bond will go back into retirement.

Or

If they're trying to self contain the Craig stuff: he will be killed(perhaps ambigiously)

If I had to guess: the 00 section is shut down because M is secretly a villian or some shit....

Just depends if they want to emphasize this stuff is its own thing...

Perhaps but I've seen all of the Bond movies and the strong independent female spy who initially thinks of Bond as a sexist womanizer, only to be wooed by him by the end, is somewhat of a trope in the 007 franchise.
Granted, the Craig movies have been more of a deconstruction of Bond movies rather than actual Bond movies, but I'm still hopeful.

 

[Ihavetinyweewee]

Perhaps but I've seen all of the Bond movies and the strong independent female spy who initially thinks of Bond as a sexist womanizer, only to be wooed by him by the end, is somewhat of a trope in the 007 franchise.
Granted, the Craig movies have been more of a deconstruction of Bond movies rather than actual Bond movies, but I'm still hopeful.

Yeah, I doubt we will get "The Spy Who Love me."

But who knows? Perhaps Craig fucking an intersex black sprinter is the pinnacle of progressivism. Doesn't matter to me, I probably wasn't going to see this movie anyways...

 

[Shiversblood]

Why would James Bond even be attracted to her in the first place. Maybe if she threw herself at him he might have sex with her, but why bother. She ugly.

 

[Ihavetinyweewee]

Why would James Bond even be attracted to her in the first place. Maybe if she threw herself at him he might have sex with her, but why bother. She ugly.

YOU ARE A RACIST


Thats it I got nothing else....

As a side note to any of the female posters reading, what possible makeover is possible to make this black bitch more attractive? Outside of recasting her or(some of you would say) putting a noose around her neck....

 

[LN 910]

I get a feeling that this is a trick.
The black girl is really a Bond girl who starts off as the new 007 but by the end, is fucking Craig.
It just seems odd to me that the same studio which made Ghostbusters 2016 and lost $100 million on it, would try the same tactic again, especially now that people are starting to like them again.
Just 2 years ago, they were going bankrupt. Jumanji and Venom saved them.
They HAVE TO know better.

Yeah that’s literally the plot. You didn’t even read beyond the headlines. That’s what Sony said in a press release a while back, she’s not playing Bond she’s playing an agent code named 007 after Bond retires.

Think of it like Sean Bean’s character in Goldeneye or that time Timothy Dalton went rogue in one of the movies. That’s what they’re going for, it’ll still be shit because it’s a modern Bond movie and they’re all shit

 

[ManateeHunter]

I love how even in 5chan users were saying the new Bond looks like some gorilla
But on a more serious note, why are these nobodies suddenly thrust into reboots as the main character? At least the 2016 Ghostbusters used actresses who (love 'em or hate 'em, I certainly do loathe) are experienced in showbiz. They're not even hiding who sucks penises in Hollywood anymore.

 

[Ihavetinyweewee]

I love how even in 5chan users were saying the new Bond looks like some gorilla
But on a more serious note, why are these nobodies suddenly thrust into reboots as the main character? At least the 2016 Ghostbusters used actresses who (love 'em or hate 'em, I certainly do loathe) are experienced in showbiz. They're not even hiding who sucks penises in Hollywood anymore.

Yeah, but what male producer wants to have their dick sucked by lady gorilla(considering the alternatives)?

No, this was muff-diving. Very selective, highly coordinated carpet munching....

 

[PL 001]

Instead of a dry martini, shaken not stirred, is the new Bond going to request grape drank with a Robitussin chaser?

 

[Secret Asshole]

They HAVE TO know better.

These are the types of people who would light the house on fire, watch it burn down. Then they'd buy a new house and light it on fire, and watch it burn down. They keep doing this until they're out of money.

Progtards don't learn shit. Their ideology comes before everything. Why do you think they're all communist? Because they all end up poor because they put their ideology into everything and no one wants the shit they sell. So instead of self-reflection or fixing the problem, they just want gibs. Too bad like 17% of America supports socialism. How's that glorious revolution going for you faggots?

 

[That Chris Guy]

Craig just wants to get out of the role, he'll accept a script where he partners with a guy in a monkey suit if it fulfills the contract.

I'm sure Leslie Jones would be more than happy to help out.

 

[ManateeHunter]

I'm sure Leslie Jones would be more than happy to help out.

She wouldn't need a monkey suit. She'd just need to strip.

Spoiler: NSFW