Picture it: You’re a trans guy and you’ve met a stunning, charming, brilliant trans girl.
Maybe you were at a tech conference in San Francisco, or at Ultra, the annual electronic music festival in Miami. Maybe you went to a burlesque show at a downtown club. Maybe Blue Velvet was playing at a local independent theater and you locked eyes across the soda stand. Maybe you were set up by friends or matched on an app.
Either way, you’ve lucked out, brother. T4T relationships can be really affirming and fun. Dating someone who understands your transition can be wonderful. Fucking someone who has also thought about their body in an unconventional way can be enlightening and hella hot.
But my goodness, trans men, how do you speak to and then eventually woo the trans woman of your dreams?
I’m here to help.
How to Start the Conversation
This works if you’re in public and she’s a stranger or if she’s someone you’ve seen around and you wanna take it to a flirty place. Hell, it could even work in the case of a DM slide: Compliment. Her. Outfit.
We trans guys have an advantage over basic cis men here. We know what goes into a woman getting dressed up. There’s steps! There’s try-ons and discards, lotions and perfumes, accessory choices, sometimes shaving and plucking, and all sorts of to-dos specific to someone who’s thought out their gender presentation.
While women lament men who call them “natural beauties” when they’ve clearly had Botox and are wearing makeup, we’d never make such a mistake. The work of leaving the house as a trans person deserves recognition — even if that work is just how she styled her Fiona Apple graphic tee or her choice of running sneakers. Compliment her with more specificity than a cis man could ever muster.
What’s the brand of her adorable thigh-highs? Is she wearing her “season” as told to her by a TikTok color analyst? Did you once have a heart shaped choker just like that when you were a woman? Start there.
Only compliment her on what she can control or what is mostly non-sexual. No great tits, even if they are great tits. (You can compliment those later.) For now, we go to “beautiful eyes” or “nice hair” or “cute clothes” and then we add a specific.
Examples:
“Your shirt matches your eyes perfectly! You must have done that on purpose.” (Most people with nice eyes have absolutely done that on purpose, but they’ll delightfully pretend not to have.)
“I never got the hang of French braids when I was a girl, but yours are perfect. Did you do them?” (This has the added bonus of casually letting her know you’re trans too.)
“Your shirt is so cool. Is it a reference to something? Oh, a DnD podcast? Which one? I always wished I’d gotten into that but I’d have no idea where to start.”
How To Get Her Number
Now, how do we move from chatting to getting her information for a date? First of all, make sure she knows you are asking for romantic reasons!
Sometimes with trans people, we’re so worried about being vulnerable or so unused to being hit on in a serious way, we might not communicate date intentions well or understand we’re being asked out. And since you’ve hopefully dropped into the conversation that you’re also trans, she won’t have the anxiety of wondering if she has to out herself to you and risk negative results.
Say, “I’d like to take you out on a date sometime.” Relate it to something you all have been talking about. For example, let’s watch that old foreign-language lesbian film you’ve been recommending. Or, if conversation hasn’t lent itself to a natural hang suggestion segue, invite her to a trans thing. You and her already have something huge in common. It’s another advantage we have over cis men. (More on where to take her in a second.)
If getting her number seems too intense, or if your phone still shows your deadname when you call, it’s perfectly acceptable to ask for her Instagram. The dolls tend to curate their Instagrams really beautifully. Let her show it off!
Now that you follow her, you have to actually message her with a plan. Do not chicken out! Cis men have no spines, but we are not cis men!
Look, you had to tell people you were a whole other gender. You can message a hot girl on the ‘gram.
Where To Go On Your Date
It might be okay to lean into some ideas that are cheesy and gendered, like bringing her flowers. For some girlies, that will be too intense. But for others it might be totally cute, because a lot of us never had those formative experiences.
When in doubt, roses are way too much but anything else the grocery store has to offer is just right. I’d make sure it’s something hypoallergenic, not too fragrant, and not poisonous to pets. If flowers seems like it’ll freak her out, or it’s not your speed, you don’t have to do it! But feel it out. Maybe your version of flowers is pulling out her chair for her or buying the first drink.
Speaking of, you can do the regular coffee or drinks date — always keeping coffee as a low-pressure option in case she is sober. You can also just take a walk around a lake or generally window shop if you’re low on cash. But if you wanna be more specific, like I hinted at above, there’s luckily an existing trans connection!
Maybe there’s an independent queer bookstore or a trans drag show or an anarchist lecture series at the LGBT Center. I know this might not be the case for every city, but look on Instagram or Tiktok for LGBTQ+ stuff she might want to go to and then suggest that. Even if you’re not sure it’ll be good or fun, it’s a perfect excuse to ask her to check it out with you. Tell her that even if it’s cringe, it might be a funny story and you can grab some fried pickles at a diner afterwards.
Or you can get more specific to her interests. You’ve got her socials. Do some digging. What stuff does she usually go to? Who are her friends?
She could be a nightlife trans woman, who maybe had a great run as a gay guy and who still revels in that environment. She could be an outdoorsy girl who hikes with her queer girl friends on the weekends and loves gym selfies. She could be the more introverted type who wants to whoop your ass at video games all night.
I’d normally avoid going to someone’s house or having someone to your house on a first date, but this is another point trans men have over cis men. It’s not as likely that a woman would “choose the bear” over us. It’s a cliché, and maybe has a dab of sexism to it that we’re not perceived as the same level of dangerous as a cis man, but, hey, it’s okay to use a little societal conditioning to our advantage.
If you do go over there to play Fallout: New Vegas, bring some seltzers or snacks. If she comes to you, have your fridge stocked. Ask her for her drink of choice for Final Fantasy. Check if she’s vegan or gluten-free. And for god’s sake, vacuum up a little.
If you end up going out, and it’s something you’ve attended before and where you see friends, such as queer country line dancing or a monthly trans arts meetup, make sure you introduce her around and keep her engaged in the conversation. Trans people can very easily get lost in the friend zone if you don’t make it clear you’re there together. Keep it romantic with little touches, getting her a drink, or introducing her clearly as your date for the evening. Even among queer friends, make sure she knows she’s not there as just another friend: She’s special to you.
How to Keep It Going
I have been told by my cis male peers that it’s now my responsibility as the man to ask for a follow up date. Unfortunately, this seems to be true because we live in a society. This doesn’t mean you have to plan the whole next thing, but it is on you to say you’d like to see her again and provide at least another suggestion on where to go.
After making sure she got home okay (whether that be after the date or wink wink the next morning), ask if she’d like to see you again. I’ve gotten you this far, now you’re gonna have to do something that cis men have struggled with for millennia: Listen to her.
Every girl is different! As you’re getting to know her, you can pull back from the generalities of both being trans, and find out if you’re compatible beyond that. You have a foundation that puts you leaps and bounds ahead of any cis guy who’s ever tried to pick her up. You’ve got this, my dude. Go get ya girl.
I checked the article (to see the author tbh) and noticed theyre actually getting kinda trashed in the comments. Some of it seems like trolling but some of them seem like longtime readers of the site and some seem like idk 'queers', I think maybe even passive aggressive trans women. Someone brought up the 'Id pick the bear' thing.
“Your shirt matches your eyes perfectly! You must have done that on purpose.” (Most people with nice eyes have absolutely done that on purpose, but they’ll delightfully pretend not to have.)
I have been told by my cis male peers that it’s now my responsibility as the man to ask for a follow up date. Unfortunately, this seems to be true because we live in a society.
It’s part of the illusion. The truth is that if she wants to date or bed a tranny she just has to go up and ask them to have sex. They’re desperate pervs. They won’t say no. They can’t say no.
Alternatively all a Tim has to do is go up to a Tif and say “we can do this the easy way or the hard way. The choice is yours.”
I checked the article (to see the author tbh) and noticed theyre actually getting kinda trashed in the comments. Some of it seems like trolling but some of them seem like longtime readers of the site and some seem like idk 'queers', I think maybe even passive aggressive trans women. Someone brought up the 'Id pick the bear' thing.
The author is messed up of course, but there's a lot of performative outrage by MTFs pretending they are the victims of "misogyny" just like real women.
holy fuck this dude should never talk to women and should not be allowed to go near them jfc
This comment section is amazing, so I've attempted to manually archive all of the comments and replies:
Caterina
JUNE 18, 2024 AT 6:02 PM
This is really sweet. Signed, a trans girl who met and raised kids (who are now all grown up!) with a trans guy
Omegafag
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 9:06 PM This comment has been removed as it is in violation of Autostraddle’s Comment Policy. Repeat or egregious offenders will be banned. Averijune
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 8:24 PM
Hey tgirl here,,,,, yr fucking weird dude. Hope you get yr ass kicked free Palestine
* Liked by 1 person
roxxie
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 10:03 AM
damn, a guide for flagging incel at the function
* Liked by 5 people
Jencendiary
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 10:17 AM
Moderator, please. Katy
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 4:15 PM
Literally came here to say this, trans woman here Katie
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 4:22 PM
Id choose the bear over whoever wrote this article
* Liked by 4 people heygrill
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 12:40 PM
Bro was onto nothing!
* Liked by 2 people Elijah
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 10:44 PM
Yeah feels like MRA
* Liked by 1 person Elijah
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 10:50 PM
Hoped Gabe coming out would mean more authenticity and not feeling ick about all of his content but now I just pray he finds a non internet life/career/healing.
* Liked by 1 person
Emily Rose
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 10:07 AM
Wow! Trans Womxyn here, how does he know about fried pickles? I love fried pickles!
hot_quiche
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 12:55 PM
women would still choose the bear over you btw if they really see you as a man Luna
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 7:17 PM
Lemme take a guess, you take spironolactone? Jacklyn
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 7:09 AM
This is the worst shit I’ve ever read omg. Terrible article that kinda seems like it was written by some dude who’s never actually spoken to a woman? j
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 10:29 AM
juneteenth is not a holiday about everyone, its a celebrating African Americans and the emancipation of slaves. juneteenth doesn’t need to be brought into random articles unrelated to black people (eroding the actual point of the holiday) especially when the “advice” those articles provide is demeaning and transmisogynistic
Kai
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 10:10 AM
Great advice! Just in time for Juneteenth, too!
faust faust
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 4:32 AM
ok ignoring how absolutely evil this article is come on man. 5 million billion names on this earth and you choose gabe??? choose something funky like optimus prime or something idk. your friend
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 8:21 AM
as a trans woman, i feel violated just reading this. thank you so much.
* Liked by 2 people A m
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 1:09 PM
trans men are men. thanks for showing and telling!
* Liked by 1 person
PrincesSwandLake
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 10:14 AM
thanks for the tips!
Katie
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 4:23 PM
Id choose the bear over whoever wrote this article
naomi
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 10:33 AM
this is the worst guide ever just be normal. being normal works
* Liked by 4 people
kit
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 1:24 PM
This is just a new version of gender essentialism that buys into transphobic ideas that being assigned a certain sex at birth means we’re also “conditioned” in a specific way that sets us permanently aside from cis people of the same gender.
* Liked by 1 person Joe
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 2:12 PM
This is fucking terrible transphobic dribble
dave
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 10:47 AM
i am begging you to be normal. women love it when you’re normal to them
* Liked by 4 people
Jess
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 11:23 AM
Oh. Well guess I’m done reading Autostraddle. Gross, creepy, and objectifying stuff.
* Liked by 2 people Jam
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 1:35 AM
as an actual trans woman, just be yourself and if she likes you for who you are then it’ll work out
Devi Lacroix
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 11:06 AM
This article has the depth and smell of a spilled bottle of Old Spice. The 2005 Vice article about a good party needing a slutty transsexual was more progressive than this. I’ve seen videos on PornHub with more rizz. I’m making a donation to bear conservation in Gabe’s name.
“I’d normally avoid going to someone’s house or having someone to your house on a first date, but this is another point trans men have over cis men. It’s not as likely that a woman would “choose the bear” over us. It’s a cliché, and maybe has a dab of sexism to it that we’re not perceived as the same level of dangerous as a cis man, but, hey, it’s okay to use a little societal conditioning to our advantage.” There’s a word for the exact short of man that intimately understands gendered violence and social pressure and threat evaluation, and then consciously applies that knowledge to manipulate his target by appearing as the less threatening option.
As a trans woman, the best thing I can say about this article is that it affirmed my gender as an objectified, coerced target of masculine desire.
* Liked by 9 people
kit
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 1:20 PM
This is just a new version of gender essentialism that buys into transphobic ideas that being assigned a certain sex at birth means we’re also “conditioned” in a specific way that sets us permanently aside from cis people of the same gender.
* Liked by 2 people kit
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 1:26 PM
Oops! I was trying to reply to the article, not your specific comment. But the mobile version of this website is a nightmare
roxy
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 11:26 AM
ahhh, vaguely transmisogynistic claptrap from a buzzfeed reject
* Liked by 5 people
sage
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 8:05 AM
Yo way to assume trans women aren’t used to being complimented. Buy me flowers cuz I like flowers not because you think I’ve never been loved. Don’t act like you can avoid misogyny just because you used to be a woman. You are a man now. Take a good look in the mirror and get off reddit.
All my friends are real upset on Instagram about this article, we’d rather just be called a slur.
* Liked by 1 person Rune
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 1:59 PM
Its forcing me to leave one to scroll the comments lmao they should fox yheir mobile.
this article talks about trans women the way cis men talk about cis women actually and as a trans man this is extremely uncomfortable to read.
You are still treating dating as a manipulative game of chess. you speak repeatedly about being direct and theb turn and talk about how to be so sneaky. maybe instead of checking the socials of a women you dont know fro her intrest, you just, ask her?
Ask her bc shes a complete person who can answer you in her own time.
Also if she seems distant or not interested in ur date, another drink and touching her here and there (especially if ur not an established relationship). wont help. Just realize she’s not into you, finish the date, and let her go.
I put this next to multiple articles by cis men and they sound the same in multiple spots in a very bad way.
Theres more I could say but frankly dude this is just disappointing. Please treat our sisters better than this.
* Liked by 1 person w
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 3:22 PM
“vaguely” as if it doesn’t smack you in the face
julie
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 11:50 AM
this is some reddit-level dating advice. i was entirely convinced that this was some elaborate satire or bait for the majority of reading this. good lord.
* Liked by 4 people
just a creature
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 3:29 PM
as a transmasc person with experience of dating transfem people, what the actual fck. How can you be so disgusting about being trans, while also…being trans yourself. How can you objectify women so much. This is the worst thing i saw in a while. The way you speak about trans people? Ew. I’m not going to talk over all the trans women who already commented on this from their perspective, but I cringed so hard at all the “wHeN i WaS a WoMaN” stuff, why would you throw that around and use to your “advantage”. Why would you clock other trans people in public spaces and talk to them like this.
An actual advice on dating: treat people like people maybe?? I almost laughed when “listen to her” was put almost as conclusion to the whole thing, after 29393874 stupid stereotypes that don’t tell you anything, while it literally should be the first thing in any relationship ever.
Btw how and why you date someone shouldn’t be based on if they’re trans or not. Like, most of my relationships are/were t4t and I like it this way, but I’m not gonna center it around transness, you know what I mean? It’s just one of hundreds of thousands different things about a human being. And I understand the preference or safety or comfort of t4t relationships, but… this article is not about it. It’s about awful fetishization of trans women and all the toxic ways a trans man can be a sly creepy predator. Dysphoria doesn’t mean you can be misogynistic freely.
I hope nobody is stupid enough to follow through with these shitty attempts at “advising”. I’m truly sorry to all the trans girls who saw that and/or who experienced anything similar from anyone ever. It should have never happened and it angers me how much transmisogyny there is even in the community itself. Stay safe everyone and happy pride or something Vicky
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 10:38 PM
We did it, trans inclusive misogyny
june
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 12:48 PM
this is disgusting and made me feel awful, I hope you stay far away from women I would never trust anyone who follows this guide.
* Liked by 4 people
ellie
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 2:11 AM
you are a terrible person and you should do some serious reflection on the way you view trans women Adam
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 12:54 PM
“We trans guys have an advantage over basic cis men here. We know what goes into a woman getting dressed up. ”
No we don’t and NO WE DON’T. Dani
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 6:00 PM
Chaser pick up artistry 101 (works for cis or trans men!)
Thought this was fake
angel
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 1:04 PM
yea, this shit sucks, i’d rather you just buy me some ket and let me be nonverbal on ur couch the entire time than try this pretentious ass shit.
* Liked by 3 people
M
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 5:43 PM
ur so real for this
* Liked by 1 person
ClamCake
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 1:52 PM
true equality is reached when the cishet and transhet communities produce equally weird dating guides
* Liked by 3 people
Rizzler
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 2:52 PM
Gabe delete this you’re scaring the hoes
* Liked by 1 person aspen
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 3:18 PM
once again trans men show they are men by stooping to 2010 reddit-tier dating guides that treat women like a monolith and a puzzle to be solved. it’s still the bear for me.
N
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 2:00 PM
holy fuck this dude should never talk to women and should not be allowed to go near them jfc
* Liked by 1 person
mcyikes
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 12:31 AM
I feel like I’m covered in slime after reading this. sage
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 8:00 AM
Yo way to assume trans women aren’t used to being complimented. Buy me flowers cuz I like flowers not because you think I’ve never been loved. Don’t act like you can avoid misogyny just because you used to be a woman. You are a man now. Take a good look in the mirror and get off reddit.
All my friends are real upset on Instagram about this article, we’d rather just be called a slur.
j
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 2:28 PM
Look, under the most charitable reading I could see there being positive intent here. But you must have known this would be inflammatory, especially with that title.
* Liked by 1 person
Ruby
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 12:27 PM
You’re literally just as bad as the cis men you’re so convinced you’re better than!
lj bee
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 2:31 PM
is this….satire? is this……transmisogyny? autostraddle it’s really too bad, i would’ve told you all you need is autism and some good youtube recs, you could’ve had that for free.
* Liked by 2 people
noooooooo
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 9:07 PM
i would actually much prefer a guy to put a bunch of effort into making me feel desired at the beginning of a relationship than just telling me to watch some video essay. why are you arguing that trans women are worth *less* effort?
Zoey
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 11:46 PM
This isn’t effort, this is how to appear like you’re putting in effort. it’s condescending and you should be able to see through it.
* Liked by 1 person
vaporeon
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 8:48 AM
Nice ableism there
Seadoll
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 2:34 PM
Wait is this not satire?
* Liked by 1 person anon
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 2:41 PM
a true TME moment
Joni
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 9:07 AM
Will the boys still hit on me if I’m not wearing thigh highs and a choker? :/
hard pass
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 3:38 PM
the predator defender to PUA pipeline, you hate to see it
A
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 7:43 PM
was this written by the evil abusive boyfriend from The People’s Joker?
Mara
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 3:38 PM
I didn’t think I could be less attracted to men, but here we are, holy shit
* Liked by 1 person Alex
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 3:43 PM
Man, for all the pains this article takes to emphasize how as a trans guy, the reader will have some experiences of womanhood that will allow them to relate to the trans woman they would like to date, it sure misses an important one: the experience of being reduced down to being a prize to be won by a man.
* Liked by 7 people Rizz King
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 4:01 PM
this is so dehumaning and objectifying and misogynistic. I’m sure the author knows trans women are women but is he aware that women are PEOPLE? Not a different species?
* Liked by 5 people
bitch of the century
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 9:20 PM
GRODY
Damselindestress
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 4:43 PM
Damn, incels got another one. On a serious note, maybe you could celebrate this pride month by leaving trans women the fuck alone.
On a real bit I pity any trans man who tries any of this, y’all deserve better role models than the clown who wrote this bull. Be normal, just be normal, be a normal person, objectification feels just as bad when it comes from other trans people.
* Liked by 3 people Blajj Brigitte xD
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 4:52 PM
Gabe please continue writing these tips!
As a Womxyn, I need all of the Kais to know just how to win over my little, silly, heart!~
After all, I need a big strong, totally not manipulative, gender theoried he/they to tell me what season matches my eye color. Please don’t listen to the haters! I need the freshly top surged Pat Bateman’s of the world to protect me from it evils!! Oh to be with a true man, who knows what a woman’s worst fears are and how to fend them off!! I won’t have a care in the universe as he paints my pretty nails, the same color of his dark, grimy gas lights.
* Liked by 5 people NewVegasAnarchistGF
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 4:57 PM
Trans men really are the men of the trans community
* Liked by 3 people
t
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 7:47 PM
Please don’t take this slimy article as a representation of trans men, some of us are normal and treat women normally!
t
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 8:08 PM
I don’t mean to say Gabe isn’t normal. I’ve followed him work for a while and he has had some good stuff, but jeez this article is inexcusable and extremely disrespectful to woman, please take it down
Violet
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 5:22 PM
As a long time reader, supporter, and fan of autostraddle, this article was really discouraging to read.
* Liked by 3 people Avery Jaye
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 5:33 PM
i hope an anvil falls on your head
cat
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 5:21 AM
> Say, “I’d like to take you out on a date sometime.”
this whole article could have been just this sentence LS
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 9:21 AM
This is misogynistic, transmisogynistic, objectifying, and full of stale stereotypes. Furthermore, I am not sure why you are posting dating guides for men on a website ostensibly for gay and bisexual women.
I would advise you take this down and platform more trans women and trans lesbians. As one of the few websites left specifically for WLW, I am disapointed to see autostraddle publishing this sort of drudgery instead of any of the incredible trans lesbian writers I see struggling to get by every day. It makes me not want to come back.
* Liked by 1 person
gabe…. do better
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 5:48 PM
this sucks and dont ever do this. i promise you that hinting at the fact you know she’s trans will not get her to swoon. also, i’ve never met a trans women who would think a “trans drag show” was something made for them in any aspect (it sounds very demeaning and pretty transphobic tbh), but that’s anecdotal. i can tell the writer hasn’t, and will (hopefully) never talk to a trans woman in person.
* Liked by 4 people UwUGirlyTransWomen
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 6:38 PM
Gabe, please grow and change as a person
* Liked by 1 person Great PUA satire! Wait, it’s satire right…?
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 6:48 PM
Truly amazing *all* men suck regardless of who they are. It makes me wonder why anyone would date one.
Anyways, thank you autostraddle for your contributions to the lesbian community, I now somehow like men even less.
* Liked by 1 person Transmen are the men of the trans community
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 6:59 PM
From now on, whenever trans men assert that their community has some keen clandestine insight into the struggles of women by virtue of being AFAB, I’m going to pull up this article to prove that they, in fact, don’t. Or maybe just can’t comprehend.
Cis women and trans women are women. Trans men are men.
* Liked by 2 people
jane
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 7:17 AM
this article is rancid but fuck this noise 1000000%
trans solidarity forever, take the gender essentialism nonsense back to radfem land, you do not speak for me nor my other trans sisters
* Liked by 1 person
Come on
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 7:37 PM
How did you put every “reddit mtf” stereotype in one article.
* Liked by 1 person Come on man
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 7:42 PM
Trans men truly are the men of trans people
* Liked by 1 person
Valerie
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 8:20 PM
Hey Gabe,
This article turned me, a bisexual transgender woman, into a lesbian. You’ve done a great service today. Now I know that there’s nobody out there I can trust who isn’t another trans woman. What a great victory you’ve earned today.
Regards,
Valerie
Time to sound like a total pick-me
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 8:58 PM
I know people are upset with this because it’s definitionally pick-up artistry, but a (trans or cis) guy complimenting my clothes, buying me flowers, gauging my interests, taking me out, listening to me, etc. all sounds super nice. If it’s pick-up artistry it’s a pretty benign type which I’d have a good time with. I suspect some of the commentors wouldn’t feel so incensed if (1) the phrase “pick up” wasn’t in the title, and (2) it was a woman doing it instead of a man—since I suspect a lot of these girls commenting aren’t really that into men.
* Liked by 1 person
Omegafag
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 9:08 PM
I think it’s just that hard to divorce it from feeling pathetic even if it’s not super predatory anymore
* Liked by 1 person
Pick-me this, pick up that, why don’t we all go pick some flowers and touch grass
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 6:56 AM
I’m gonna be real with you… The idea of a woman “picking me up” only sounds good as a fantasy. I prefer to be treated as an equal, not an Other that needs to be coaxed into things like giving up my phone number. And while the article’s body technically presents itself as advice for dating, not hookups, the bit where the author implies a trans woman might be willing to fuck the reader earlier than she would a cis man, sounds dicey, and would sound dicey even if it was presented as advice for women.
I suspect both AS and the author knew the implications of leading with language like “picking up” and “get her number”, and they’re really just getting the kind of engagement they were hoping for.
man-hating lesbian
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 9:57 PM
does autostraddle really need to be publishing pick-up artist guides about how to manipulate trans women into relationships? like holy shit this is incredibly sexist. i’m honestly concerned for the safety of the transfeminine people in this dude’s life
signed, a trans girl with actual self-esteem
* Liked by 3 people
Birdman
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 5:17 PM
What getting 0 pussy does to a MF… Anyway here’s a custom pickup artist guide for Gabe Dunn to follow. How to get pussy:
Just look in the mirror! There you have it.
t
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 7:50 PM
Moderator, please remove the above comment, it is transphobic.
what is GOING ON in here
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 10:20 PM
that’s a lot of comments. congrats on the engagement I guess? Rin Tezuka
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 10:36 PM https://letmegooglethat.com/?q=ushiromiya+george
Beatrice
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 1:08 AM
you’re so right though Myrnoid
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 10:39 AM
There’s like a 95% chance I follow you on tumblr lol
wtf
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 10:56 PM
please delete this youre making us trans men look bad
* Liked by 3 people Normal trans guy
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 11:24 PM
This article is the perfect example of why I hate majority of my trans brothers. Get over yourself, be normal, no one cares.
I’d recommend you do some deep diving on your internalized transphobia, accept your past experiences, and stop comparing yourself to cis men. Weirdo
* Liked by 1 person
What’s wrong with you?
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 1:58 PM
It sounds like the author has never met an actual trans person in their lives, neither a trans man nor a trans woman. They’ve concocted these Netflix e-caricatures of trans men as Glorified Totally Safe UwU Alt Women™ and trans women as simultaneously easily manipulated girliepop meat dolls AND just slutty gay men at the club. The entire article screams “Trans men are women and trans women are objects.”
Amy C
JUNE 19, 2024 AT 11:41 PM
You rule. Thanks for this. pleasebenormalgabe
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 12:58 AM
Yikes. Lima Bean
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 1:28 AM
I’m confused why people are taking this seriously. My gf sent me this w the caption: “did you use this on me.” It is funny and it’s cool to see jokes and references we make/relate to/hear in writing. I hope the people that this post bothers or hurts (understandably so) can just click off and be okay. Thanks for the laughs. Alice
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 3:24 AM
This is one of the creepiest things I’ve ever read. You are not trandrew tate bro don’t be such a fucking weirdo.
* Liked by 1 person JB
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 6:11 AM
how does this start terrible and get worse this is just as misogynistic as every pick up bros tips ive ever seen it just also manages to dehumanize trans women too jane
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 7:08 AM
hi, trans woman here:
good lord please do not follow this article for advice please please please
Love the casual shitty quips aimed at people for no reason peppered throughout – you know what’s super attractive in a partner? meanspirited jabs at groups of people; that always makes me feel super safe as a trans person!
* Liked by 1 person Ava
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 7:30 AM
I’m a trans woman who finds this article extremely offputting. The article reads like pickup artistry, and the tactics it outlines are manipulative, making unfair assumptions about trans women.
Attempting to use inside jokes and stereotypes comes across as desperate, or that the author did only the most bare of research before determining what trans women are like. While assuming we all have poor fashion sense is insulting, I’m more concerned with the comparison of trans women to gay men. While there are gay men in the nightlife scene, it implies the author sees trans women in that scene as men.
I find alarming the belief that trans men are somehow safer than cis men, implicit in the paragraph is that trans men are allowed to violate a trans woman’s boundaries simply by virtue of being trans. Trans men are no more entitled to trans women’s bodies than cis men are.
While the article is from the perspective of a trans men, and trans men are its target audience, it is clear that no input from trans women was included in the research for this article. The most valuable source for what trans women look for in a partner would be trans women themselves. Since presumably no trans women had input in this article, it is not a a good source on how to date us. These tactics certainly would not work in practice, and would serve to alienate one from any contact with trans women
* Liked by 1 person Nate
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 7:36 AM
Hey kings this is bad, bad advice. Textbook creep behavior Andrea Pirkey
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 8:18 AM
When people begged you to delete this post they meant in its entirety not just from insta.
* Liked by 1 person jg
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 8:47 AM
publishing a “how to pick up chicks” article doesnt become progressive just because you pause to remind the audience youre so totally different than those cis guys every five minutes. bad look for autostraddle.
* Liked by 1 person june
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 9:11 AM
its so disgusting how you
a) assume trans women would think youre less dangerous because you were afab (something which we don’t do because of creepy manipulative shit like this)
b) use your completely unfounded generalization to call US sexist for trusting you?? so its fine when you say youre better than cis men but when you strawman your dream trans girl as saying it its misogyny
c) and then immediately talk about using this “societal conditioning to your advantage”. you sound like an incel redditor trying to ” social engineer” women
for all the time you spend talking about how you have an advantage over cis men you are just as good at them as treating women and tgirls specifically as sex objects with no regard to them as a person. gabe, please reassess the way you think about women as goals and not people and how hostile you seem to trans women you made up in your head. your transness does not make you infallible and you are still a man in a society where men can use power to control women. in the meantime I don’t think you should be allowed within 500 feet of a tgirl
* Liked by 1 person
Freddy
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 5:07 PM
Please stop speaking the truth, you’re going to make him cry!
eli
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 9:22 AM
This is maybe the worst thing I’ve read in the last 5 years. And I’m deeply trans. Yuck
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 9:29 AM
Had no idea trans men could be just as douchey and sexist as cis men thats too bad. The advice is cute when it’s not condescending and stereotyping trans women but ultimately you could get the same advice from any cis dude youtube pickup artist. Need help picking up women? Ask a butch. Morgan
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 9:42 AM
After reading this, I’ve decided to go on a date with the bear.
* Liked by 1 person Jojo
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 10:00 AM
Good news everyone! Engagement is up!
Bad news everyone! Subscriptions are down lttr
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 10:12 AM
actualy i love these kinds of slimey incel tbros, the kind that if i laugh at their lame jokes and blush and giggle at their objectifying “compliments”, i can get to buy me food nd drinks at the bar. Then when they try to bring me back to their apartment i can just rob them, and they’re thinking with their dick too much to see it coming. who needs an addy prescription when these guys r a dime a doze?
* Liked by 1 person Myrnoid
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 10:41 AM
Holy shit lmao. All I can think of is the “This is the one thing we didn’t want to happen” joke from Brass Eye. You tried to write an article about non-threatening Feminist boying your way into some gock and now you’ve June and Roxie yelling at you in the comments. Retire dawg you’re finished
* Liked by 1 person
june
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 11:06 AM
yeah Junes pretty cool for that
monday
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 10:44 AM
You can really tell the author has next to no trans women in their life and has perhaps cooked up this childish thigh high wearing idea of a trans woman that can easily be manipulated into sex. The real cherry on top is the part where they distance themselves from cis men as a trans masc as if that somehow makes this article full of stereotypes and transmisogyny even remotely acceptable. Would be willing to bet that “amab” and “afab” are terms commonly used by the author in their personal life, you can really just tell.
Freddy
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 5:05 PM
I think we all know where our little buddy got this thigh high uwu girlie mental image from. It’s porn brain rot. But it’s okay, because he does it in a totally sex liberated way in the name of feminism /sneed
Johnny
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 10:52 AM
The position of this article appears to be “Trans women are women and trans men are ALSO women so it’s totally chill for them to be creepy.”
The unspoken corollary of “when I was a woman” that every trans woman will hear is “when you were a MAN” so don’t fucking do that shit.
It’s the year 2024. Hasn’t everyone realized that softboi, male feminist bullshit is played out– and that the whole “man lite” thing is transphobic AF?
If you think you’re a kinder, gentler, “safer” type of man by virtue of being trans…. what message does that send her about what kind of woman you think she is?
* Liked by 2 people
Paul the apostle
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 1:29 PM
This is really the only comment that needs to stay underneath this “article”.
* Liked by 1 person
Trans guy that hates trans guys like this
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 11:07 AM
This is the worst thing I’ve read in my life holy shit please never write again this fucking REEKS of transphobia and literally made me want to not transition so I wouldn’t have to associate with this article in any way fedup
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 11:23 AM
When you’re so bad at satire that you end up reproducing harmful stereotypes
trans men really are the men of the trans community huh heyy girliee
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 11:33 AM
yknow… i was once a woman too… yeah.. i’m not like those other MISOGYNISTIC CIS men… i’m AFAB, you can trust me.. guess you could say i’m a feminist, haha… i’ve always had this.. connection… with femininitywaitwhereareyougoing
* Liked by 1 person Autumn
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 11:54 AM
Nice to see that some transmen have embraced misogyny as part of their transition A M
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 12:22 PM
Wow, way to cash in on every single stereotype when it serves you to game-ify your pick-up artistry while waging a proxy incel war against men who have penises. Trans men really are the men of trans people!
– a trans man who thinks you should delete this article, issue an apology, and pay some trans women to do it over Lol
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 12:22 PM
I’m glad tboys can be horrible little chasers too Ziri
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 12:28 PM
Not good. Santiago
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 12:36 PM
This article feels like the “Trans people are women!!!” 4tran meme TMA
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 12:37 PM
HalimedeMF has a better understanding of what trans women are like than this guy c.e.t.
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 12:45 PM
i would pick a hundred bears over a single trans man if he ever talked to me the way you’re trying to talk to me in this article. even if he didn’t i’d still pick the bear. jamie
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 12:51 PM
this is so demeaning and gross. what a waste of space on the internet. literally have you ever gotten a trans woman to write an article? have you ever tried? no? than maybe do not write about us. Alchemy
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 12:57 PM
You sound like the gay Ernest Cline aespurious
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 1:03 PM
this article is not only really, really gross pickup artistry nonsense, but really… sad. is this really the extent of your honest opinion on us? this personality profile of us that you create here… thigh highs and chokers. fallout new vegas and EDM shows. it’s like your mental picture of us is something cultivated entirely through the lens created for you by watching us from a distance online and taking notes of tweets made about us and memes plastered with impact font from trans reddits. like you don’t listen to… us, ever
like, you’re over here doing things like noting that you’re perceived as less predatory and that you should use that to your advantage. like saying that you have an easier time getting a woman to go to a second location with you. it makes it seem like you see us as pieces of meat, all while slathering it in trans solidarity. while saying you should chip at a shared female experience by saying that you used to look or act like us Back When You Were A Woman™
is this all that’s left for us? the most respect we can get, even from our brothers in shared trauma and bigotry, is dehumanization and strategy guides on how to convince us to fuck you? as though we’re nothing more than fragile girls who can be manipulated with a wink and a smile and an acknowledgement that we’re different, but good different? is this all there is?
i dunno i guess. you’ve just created a really depressingly bleak snapshot of humanity, man
* Liked by 1 person
transfem anon
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 3:29 PM
This is the most well-written and thoughtful comment I’ve seen on this article. You’ve captured my exact thoughts.
isabelle
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 1:15 PM
what a weird creepy little incel way to think about Talking to Girls Athealstan
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 1:20 PM
All the transwomen in the comments bashing the author definitely remind me why I don’t go on dates with transwomen anymore. Normal article about dating turns into an hate sesh, because they see anyone who isn’t an UWU-cute tgirl as someone who shouldn’t have a voice.
Lol
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 1:50 PM
“transwomen” Lol Lana
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 2:48 PM
Moderator? “gender critical” alert. Transfem Anon
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 3:27 PM
I think the reason you don’t go on dates with “transwomen” anymore (if you ever did) is because we can’t stand your misogynistic dog ass. Gabe
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 4:02 PM
My deepest sincerest apologies on behalf of trans men named Gabe. We don’t claim this guy Anon
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 4:18 PM
hope you get bashed too mate lmao
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 6:58 PM
if this is a ‘normal’ article about dating to you, you should never be allowed anywhere near a woman. we’re people with an internal self and lived experience, not a puzzle you need to solve so we fuck you.
Paul the apostle
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 1:20 PM
And I thought only cissies fetishize trans people… Jesus Christ. I’m not sure how people like you survive. But I suppose nothing else can be expected from a “man”, or whatever you identify as tomorrow, who writes for this website. Make sure to use AFAB as a noun, verb, adjective and adverb in your next literary masterpiece to really drive the point home how you are such a cute cuddly little soft boi and not one of those evil big bad toxic manly men! dude wtf
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 1:26 PM
guess I’ll be telling all the trans women I know to avoid autostraddle from now on, jesus how did this get published
Lana
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 2:44 PM
Honestly, I’m side eyeing Autostraddle for publishing it. In a different way, Slate published an article by Allison Raskin without the context that she was a comedian, knowing it would make her look precious and entitled. I’m not defending Gabe’s take, but he’s autistic and has bipolar disorder – IMO it was irresponsible of Autostraddle to publish this. They knew what the response would be.
Freddy
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 4:58 PM
A quick glance at his social media made me think that this Gabe character might just be one of those people who make up having autism in order to skirt responsibilities. Funnily in his case, that’s just having to deal with people finding this graduated-top-of-the-class-in-queer-theory-and-gender-studies-writing-style a bit annoying.
Tptroway
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 9:49 PM
In response to Freddy (since I’m unsure of how this website works) those types of people are the very most manipulative to autistic people that I have ever known and it makes online autism communities harmful to actual autistic people viewing the most common of even mild autism traits as “unrelatable stereotypes” and this comment used to be way longer including a rant about Devon Price who has been described as the Rachel Dolezal of autism and I think it’s very accurate considering his writings but my page refreshed so it was all deleted which was frustrating but anyway thanks for reading and if you have a Reddit account my username is the same as on here because I would like to make friends if that’s okay it’s my trans throwaway account and nice talking to you
Tammy
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 1:34 PM
Oh, Gabe… My sweet summer child. This just ain’t it. I do find the comments calling this toxic masculinity funny tho. It’s giving toxic femininity! jade
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 1:53 PM
my daughter had to told me about this? but no way this can be genuine this is like the most transmisogyny ive seen perpetuated by a trans guy in my entire life Kate
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 1:54 PM
A lot of this article feels like weird retreads of very insular intercommunity stereotypes but not like, actually terrible advice. I guess, as the other trans girls who’ve commented before me have shown, treating yourself as “less of a threat” than cis guys is in and of itself a red flag for most trans women (since, well, we know better) but so long as you’re not outright saying that or bringing up sex based oppression you’re probably golden. author, i love you but do take the criticisms to heart and in the future, talk about tgirls w a bit more tact and less nods to transgender in-jokes in. same for the tguys reading this for advice. xoxo dog…
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 2:08 PM
tme and this made my skin crawl. i’ve gotten gfs just by being myself, not any of this. this is why i continue to not take anything on autostraddle seriously matty
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 2:20 PM
Yeah so writing an article about how to bag literally anyone as if they are a monolith or a prize to be won not only goes against queer theory but just sucks, man. Like this is gross. You should know better. Lana
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 2:39 PM
Gabe. As a long term fan – of over a decade – I want to call you in rather than call you out. Since you transitioned you’ve made several misogynistic comments. Blaming “the girlies” for Matt Rife’s DV comments. Saying that the only reason you approached men for dates was that you were actually a man, implying that women don’t do that. A few other little snide remarks. This article.
A dear friend of mine went through this process – brief, performative misogyny – when he transitioned. It was just quicker and less public.
Get off the internet. At this point I feel like you’re hurting yourself. You are an incredible writer and very charming. You would have a stellar career in account management that wouldn’t have this impact on your mental health.
Sigh
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 6:37 PM
I wanted to thank you for this comment; I think you are spot on regarding the performative misogyny. I pity Gabe, as cringe as the article is.
From experience – I think any kind of social transition is especially difficult while autistic. Relearning boundaries and what behaviors are acceptable given your new social role takes time. It’s worse when it’s so painfully public.
idk man. In any case someone probably should have done a sensitivity read before this was published. The whole thing is a bummer.
cannaqueers
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 2:56 PM
I haven’t been on this site for a moment & this just giving me more reason not to. I thought Gabe was better than this. I am surprised this article is still up there & there is no apology written. Thean again this from a site that fired some of their good writers & didn’t even apologize for that racist & transphobic incident at A-Camp a few years back. Yeah I hope both this site & Gabe can mature to be better, but so far it seems like they won’t. Anonymous User
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 3:25 PM
Dude after reading this article I would cancel that whole T4T movie you’ve got coming out. transmasc lesbo
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 3:30 PM
Oh, I am absolutely sure that your female assignment at birth gave you insight to the routines of shaving, wearing a choker to cover your Adam’s apple, debating tucking, assessing which bottoms show bulge and if that’s acceptable, etc… and that of course all women desire to be feminine and told how feminine they are and thus no trans woman would ever choose to be masculine and/or butch, and no woman has ever been made uncomfortable by a man scrutinizing her outfits regardless of presentation! Definitely all very true things I am saying.
Have you seen Revolutionary Girl Utena? Men telling Utena she’s so feminine is in fact psychologically detrimental to her. Maybe stop doing that to trans women? And please stop using the virtues you’ve assigned to your junk to convince women to let you into their house as a first date?? Halimede
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 3:47 PM
You guys will never be as good at this as I am. You never fucking will. I’m the chaser GOAT and you are harmful to trans. Stay out of my territory.
* Liked by 1 person
halimede is two trans women btw
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 5:07 PM
The cis-lesbian chaser bit isn’t even funny when the real Halimede is doing it.
seriously????????
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 4:17 PM
this is so fucking embarrassing lmao Freddy
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 4:50 PM
They’re just gonna delete all these comments anyhow once one of the TERFs that runs this shithole actually reads the jokenalism that gets published here. The author (lmao) already pulled the post from their social media to escape the shitstorm there. How manly… Siobhán
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 4:54 PM
Further evidence that men have no place on a lesbian website, even trans men. And of course it’s automatically tagged for trans men but not trans women. Birdman
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 5:21 PM
What getting 0 pussy does to a MF… Anyway here’s a custom pickup artist guide for Gabe Dunn to follow. How to get pussy:
Just look in the mirror! There you have it.
Adso
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 6:10 PM
Well I guess this proves trans men are not immune to writing cringe and condescending dating guides that talk about women like they’re exotic, dumb giggly prey. Diversity win?
Jen
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 5:59 PM
This has made me even happier that I’m a lesbian.
Anyone who tries to take this advice should never be permitted to be anywhere near a trans woman. Congrats on your Engagement/Clicks
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 6:45 PM
God this article is vile. Good job autostraddle,I hope this article got you the clicks and engagement you needed for pride month. I have nothing to add that my trans sisters haven’t expanded on in greater detail. Lindsay
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 7:20 PM
This is literally so weird Shadell
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 8:25 PM
Everything in this article is perfect, not a word could be different. From the way the title contrasts “guy” with “girl” to subtly infantalize the trans woman in question even before it starts openly infantilizing her, to the constant references to dated transfem memes to emphasize how utterly rizzless and perennially online the author is.
Seriously, just hire Halimede. alex
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 8:51 PM
joke or not , weird transmisogyny! char
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 9:30 PM
jesus christ dude. has this ever worked for you? did you just never talk to a trans woman in real life and then choose to write this article anyway? Adult Human Female
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 9:30 PM
Could’ve just named this one “Disturbed and deeply predatory male explains his sociopathic view on hookups”.
Terrible advice. Treating transwomen like they’re redditor stereotypes will not make them want to fuck you. You really wrote “I abuse my status as Well I’m Safer Than Cis Men to take vulnerable women to a secondary location they otherwise wouldn’t go to” and thought that was like, some great tip for other dudes, and published that. Extremely grim read; possibly the bleakest “trans” article I’ve read in a while. Please stay as far away from transwomen as possible, you are not a safe or kind person. Kai
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 11:33 PM
Trans guys flirting with trans women irl: Hey, how’s it going? Stas
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 11:38 PM
It reads like “how do you do fellow kids (t4t trans men)”. To any trans woman who still considers dating trans men, please, don’t think we’re all like that.
(I agree with the general idea of complimenting things that had a thought put in on it and giving an option of a sober date, but everything else is extremely weird.)
Gabe, we don’t need to repeat everything after cis men. You’re passing just fine. Try to unpack those weird ideas and where did they come from. jesus fucking christ
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 11:43 PM
you know shit’s dire when halimede reads less like a desperate chaser than this ?????
JUNE 20, 2024 AT 11:53 PM
You’re THIRTY SIX years old and this is the best you can do? This is what the extent of your real life interactions with trans women (if you’ve even had any) culminates to? This could have been written by a 19 year old cis male chaser with a reddit addiction. CiceroSailing
JUNE 21, 2024 AT 12:18 AM
Okay, so let me see if I understood your points
1. Open up with a compliment. Be specific and respectful. Try to work in that you’re also trans – or allude to it to ease potential worries about coming out
2. Exchanging social media is acceptable instead of phone numbers if that presents other problems
3. Be direct about asking for a date. Ideally pick a first date based on interests learned from initially conversing or something safely neutral or related to shared queer/trans experience
4. Flowers are nice but don’t go overboard if you go for it
5. The home isn’t ideal for a first date but have a good place for hosting if you do or bring snacks if the date is hosting
6. If you want a second date ask for it yourself
Makes sense. This was an enjoyable read! Clever Girl
JUNE 21, 2024 AT 1:02 AM
This article is an excellent demonstration of how trans men are equally as capable of being misogynistic creeps who objectify women as cis men are.
This is fucking incredible. I didn't even know I had the ability to be offended on behalf of TIMs but here we are.
This has everything - every line a masterpiece; if feels like the author picked the worst traits of every real or imaginary gender and obnoxious clique in existence. We have the blatant misoginy of troons, the cute misconceptions of a pooner's machismo, the backhanded compliments of a teenager natal girl, the warped reality of an Incel, the condescending tone of a first semester liberal arts student, the patronizing ignorance of your grandma's Facebook and the self-awareness of a plate of beans. It's like Captain Planet but summoned by sources of maldjustement instead of multi-racial fatherless children.
If you told me this article escaped a secret Military laboratory developing backup weapons against the genderspecial project I would believe it. The seething in the comment section is almost nuclear at this point.
My favorite part, and the one that proves that this is just some autistic girl's fantasy is how she clearly implies she's fishing for a fun and outgoing HSTS (an uke if you will) while using bait designed for basement dwelling AGPs (gooners if you prefer). That casual New vegas name-drop really got me good.
Too bad they didn't realize they were straight before drugs and surgery. Something tells me that shoving a loose skin that was taken from your now mutilated arm/leg that's been half hazardly sewn onto your crotch into a puss and shit leaking axe wound is nowhere near as enjoyable as shoving a real dick into a real vagina.
free Palestine
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