Science A transgender TikToker’s tips on how to embrace masculinity without the toxicity

  • 🐕 I am attempting to get the site runnning as fast as possible. If you are experiencing slow page load times, please report it.
Article Archive

A transgender TikToker’s tips on how to embrace masculinity without the toxicity​

1706365927778.jpeg
As a transgender man, Leo Macallan is deeply in tune with his behavior, and how he presents himself. As a former steel mill worker, the social media figure also has experience in male-dominated, conservative-leaning work environments.

Keep up with the latest in LGBTQ+ news and politics. Sign up for The Advocate's email newsletter.

The actor, writer, and model has been using his TikTok account to offer advice to other transgender people as they transition that goes beyond just physical appearance changes. While his tips are often aimed at trans men, Macallan’s unique perspective provides insight to behavior that many don’t usually consider, but that plays a large role in how people perceive us, transgender or cisgender.

Some of these behaviors are gendered, and can be recognized and adopted by trans people to better project their gender identity, Macallan explains. In one video, Macallan offers advice on “how you carry yourself around a group of men that feel intimidating and uncomfortable and unsafe to you.”

“One: GO SLOW. Walking fast, fast hand movements, they just read nervous,” he says. “Say I was at the supermarket and I dropped [an item] … I would lean down very, very slowly, very casually, like the laziest lion in the den."

Another tip for looking “carefree and unperturbed” is to bring a book to places, because “it is a way to deny access and create nonverbal boundaries,” he says in a follow-up video.

Macallan tells The Advocate that after coming out and transitioning physically, he desired to explore his behavioral traits, as “I found myself finally ‘looking the part,’ but unable to carry myself in a way that felt true to my gender expression because I was so afraid of male interaction.”

This led him to seek work among blue-collar men to truly immerse himself.

Macallan says that the experience was “entirely terrifying, but equally fascinating.” While he did have to “conceal who I really was” by being vigilant about using the bathroom and sharing personal details, he describes his time at the steel mill as “eye-opening.”

“My male peers were no longer caricatures composed of my own fear and assumption,” he explains.

While behaviors projecting confidence are often associated with men, there are other traits linked to masculinity that instead stunt them socially, which Macallan says he witnessed in his coworkers. But by recognizing these behaviors, the social media star believes that men can make their social spaces healthier.

“Were they consistently insecure, brutal, and immature? Yes. But at times, they were also kind, earnest, and helpful,” he says. “By studying their behavior I realized that male social spaces simply don’t have enough positive or healthy containment. They don’t know how to hold space for one another emotionally, and have created so many negative pseudo behaviors to cope around one another as a result. I saw how heavily affected they were by toxic patriarchal values. They were co-victims, you know?”

Recognizing and rejecting these toxic behaviors doesn’t make someone less masculine, but can instead make one’s ties to masculinity much stronger, as Macallan feels that’s what happened to him.

“Men don’t know how to navigate their pain. This realization shifted my perception of them, and also of myself,” he explains. “I learned that not only was I a man, I was a good one. And there was work that I could do to help.”

While his TikToks focus on emulating male behavior, “the practices mentioned are ways to alleviate discomfort and establish confidence in environments where toxic masculinity is hyper present.” Macallan adds that he “would never want to teach others to emulate or mirror harmful male behavior.”

He also emphasizes that there is not a one-size-fits-all method of gender presentation, as his own journey has been “very personal to me.” That’s “the beauty of it,” he says: “It is yours, and only yours.”

“Embrace the traits that deepen your sense of being, those that nurture your connection to yourself,” Macallan says. “Regardless of the gender assignment, what makes you feel healed? What makes you feel confident? What makes you feel worthy? As long as it’s not hurting anyone, do that.”

He continues: “The most important thing I’ve learned as a transgender person, and what I’m going to extend to those who are just beginning their journey is this: You are entitled to happiness. It is your birthright. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are sacred, and I love you. Keep going.”
 
Yes, the woman trying to larp as a man is trying to lecture me on how to be a man. Go fuck yourself, bitch.

Also, if gender is a thought, why are you mutilating your body?

“By studying their behavior I realized that male social spaces simply don’t have enough positive or healthy containment. They don’t know how to hold space for one another emotionally, and have created so many negative pseudo behaviors to cope around one another as a result. I saw how heavily affected they were by toxic patriarchal values. They were co-victims, you know?”

The problem that this woman refuses to recognize is that you're mocked for expressing masculinity but the moment you bring your feelings into it and do things you usually see women do like cry and bitch, then you're mocked and ostracized for that instead. Because if men were able to express themselves and have a conversation with troons without a bitchfit coming from the latter, they would keep reaffirming that you are, in fact, a woman. And they would proceed to be cancelled.

I also would expect a woman to use a silly word like "co-victims". A women who instead or exploring the possibility of working a steel mill of whatever as a butch woman, or just acknowledging that she might have missed stuff and is mentally ill, just accepts this very flawed mindset. Does she even have breast tissue anymore?

And all of this bullshit being spewed in OP is coming from a spokesperson of an ideology [transgenderism/transsexualism] that makes no fucking sense unless you're a staunch believer in gender or sexual norms.

I've noticed an influx of people who want to change the definition of "masculinity" to their version of masculinity, and folks like this show it. Does a man wearing a skirt, dresses, short-shorts and makeup make you masculine? No. You just said that gender and sex were different things. That makes you an effeminate man, and vice versa.

This entire ideology is disgusting and ridiculous, and is being pushed by mentally ill narcissists.
 
Also this thread really reminds me of this cake song:

Without the pretty pink ribbon
You'd end up just like me
Without the pretty pink ribbon
You'd float down to the sea

Without the pretty pink ribbon
You'd say just what you please
Without the sticky little kitten
Your ticket could never be free

Without the tight little denim
Your virtues would all go unknown
Without the room that you live in
Your cancer would eat to the bone

Your muscles would bulge underground
Your demons would all be around
Without the pretty pink ribbon
You'd end up just like me

Without the pretty pink ribbon
You'd end up just like me
Without the pretty pink ribbon
You'd burn all these dying leaves

Without the pretty pink ribbon
You'd lift this steaming herd
You would kill all the sick ones
You would bury them deep in the earth

Without the tight little denim
Your virtues would all go unknown
Without the room that you live in
Your cancers would eat to the bone

Your muscles would bulge underground
Your demons would all be around
Without the pretty pink ribbon
You'd end up just like me

If you didn't have men to build the safe, secure, feminine world for you, you would be men, you would be forced to evolve and cope with the world at large. All the insulated, over social behaviors that women seem to think make them better citizens can only exist because men facilitate them. We do this because it is what our children need but somehow along the way women have just stopped having kids and started thinking that we should be doing it all for them at political gunpoint.
 
Back