Culture A video game vampire has captured the hearts of many

Status
Not open for further replies.

By Scottie Andrew, CNN
October 31, 2023

231030104752-baldurs-gate-3-astarion.jpg
Behold, the beloved vampire elf of "Baldur's Gate 3." Astarion has quickly become the popular game's runaway star.

In “Baldur’s Gate 3,” a massive video game set in the world of “Dungeons & Dragons”, winged beasts have nothing on one devilishly handsome vampire.

Astarion, a silver-haired vampire with a jawline that could cut glass and a propensity for even more cutting verbal takedowns, is an integral member of a player’s “party” and sardonic foil to self-serious wizards, warlocks, clerics and other standard D&D characters. But many players care more about what happens between quests — attempting to win Astarion’s cold, undead heart.

“Baldur’s Gate 3” players can woo Astarion throughout the game, and hundreds of thousands of them have tried — and failed. But even those who can’t successfully romance the bloodsucker have fallen for him anyway — he’s inspired TikTok homages that have been viewed over 600 million times, fan-made artwork on Tumblr and, like many vamps before him, steamy Wattpad fan fiction.

“On my honor,” Astarion says with feigned seriousness, “the only thing on my mind is depraved carnal lust.” That line alone has spawned dozens of fan videos.

Astarion is a clever, mercurial charmer, but he’s also a rogue elf who lived much of his eternal life as a slave and became a bloodsucker against his will. His casual coldness, players realize, is his defense against feeling anything too deeply. It’s enough to make them think, “I can fix him.”

Rachel Stewart has tried, even playing the game twice through to win his affections. During her first playthrough of the game, Astarion didn’t care for her “neutral good” campaign style and rejected her. So on her second go-round, Stewart, a Victorian literary historicist at Ohio State University who’s extensively studied vampire fiction, crafted the perfect mate for Astarion — a semi-chaotic dark elf sorcerer with whom the vamp shares a much stronger connection.

“Whether you want to marry Astarion, be his therapist, project your own issues onto him, or merely wallow in the angst, he’s got you covered,” Stewart told CNN.

It’s not easy to win his affections​

Players have a veritable buffet of potential romantic partners in “Baldur’s Gate 3,” but Astarion is perhaps the most charismatic — and objectively gorgeous.

“Let’s get the obvious out of the way — he’s hot!” Stewart said.

And yet, his approval may be hardest to win. The character, colorfully voiced by Neil Newbon, is such a desirable beau that fans have authored step-by-step guides on how to earn his approval and reach coveted “intimate scenes.”

Prying his heart open can take dozens of hours of gameplay, and one wrong response can turn Astarion off for good. Nearly 100,000 players were rejected by Astarion in the opening weekend alone, per Larian Studios, which released the game. It’s given players all the more reason to return to the game and try their luck with Astarion again.

And even if players do get there, there’s no guarantee Astarion will stick around: “Ugh,” he’ll yowl. “Five seconds into this relationship and I already want to break up with you.”

Vampires like Astarion are endlessly compelling​

Stewart said Astarion is a near-perfect example of a “Byronic vampire,” based on the 19th-century poet Lord Byron, known for being “beautiful, flirty but constantly moody and a jerk to most people.”

The modern vampires with whom fans have fallen in love tend to follow a similar model: They’re often gorgeous and shamelessly sexual, but they’re secretly tortured, too, and deeply devoted to those to whom they open up, Stewart said. Before Astarion, there were Louis and Lestat of Anne Rice’s “Vampire Chronicles,” “Twilight’s” Edward Cullen and Damon Salvatore of “The Vampire Diaries,” to name a few vamps with which Astarion shares his most endearing traits.

“The allure of the Byronic vampire comes with the sympathetic quality to them — that they struggle with their own status as ‘monster’ and have a heart underneath all that blood,” Stewart said.

Some players have already brought the best out of Astarion: “I am capable of doing the right thing from … time to time,” he quips in one scenario.

Vamps — they’re just like us!​

When they’re not dream-partner material, they can be our stand-ins, too. Their experiences often represent a fantastical, distorted version of our own, Stewart said.

Astarion may be an especially meaningful character to players who’ve felt subjugated or abused: It was never his choice to become a vampire, Stewart noted, and the lack of control that defined so much of his eternal life shaped who he became even after he was freed.

“Choice is something that seems to be getting stripped away from us more and more each day, so his struggles feel especially topical,” she said.

Creators of vampire fiction have also used vampirism as a metaphor for addiction or sexuality, and many vampires experience alienation or discrimination because of their “abnormal consumption habits,” Stewart said. They often spend their existences reconciling their dark nature with their more human qualities — psychological wrestling that even some humans do.

“Their popularity comes down to our increasing willingness to identify with the monster itself,” Stewart said. “It’s a dangerously dark fantasy to want to be the one to help the vampire fight their inner demons, but it’s also a reality for many people who also struggle with their own darkness and it’s affirming to see our own complex monstrosities depicted in fiction.”

Whether Astarion leans all the way into his inner darkness or overcomes his more violent urges through the power of love is for players to discover. At the very least, they can pray that he offers them a cuddle.
 
The female model of 'conflict resolution' in media is fucking Steven Universe. Everyone has a big talk and expresses their FEEWINGS and has a good cry.
Jesus Christ reading that makes me hate that fucking show even more. Goddamn it ruined so many people's ability to think and consume media that isn't fecal pap.

I'll stick with being the Devouring Swarm in Pathfinder thank you very much 😎
 
The more I hear of this game, the more gay Dungeons and Dragons comes off.
It used to be considered nerdy, but now it just seems fucking faggy. Was it always this gay? Or did faggots and troons just infiltrate it the past 10 years or something?

The kissless virgins of 2023 are different than the kissless virgins of 1983. In 1983, if girls were never going to touch you, you fantasized about cheesecake bikini-armored big-haired babe letting you touch her perfectly hemispherical tits after you fireballed her orcish tormenters.

In 2023, you fantasize that if you simp hard enough in all the ways feminists tell you to, like pretend you think ugly chicks and troons are hot, maybe a real girl will notice how totally woke and feminist you are and let you touch her tits. And if that doesn't work, you fantasize that hormones and cutting off your dick will transform you into a cute uwu anime girl.

Shit got weird, man.
 
The female model of 'conflict resolution' in media is fucking Steven Universe. Everyone has a big talk and expresses their FEEWINGS and has a good cry.
Yup. Pretty much. It's unrealistic as fuck.
I'll stick with being the Devouring Swarm in Pathfinder thank you very much 😎
I really should do that sometime, but I enjoy fucking and sacrificing my darling Camellia too much. The swarm autism you contract is something I don't think I've ever seen in a videogame. You legitimately become something of an eldritch abomination even in the setting where older-than-time beings exists. It's late game path status is a massive downside though. I have to plot around this kind of shit. Roleplay even.
 
Be like me and don't romance. It's a game not sex sim.
I was far more preoccupied in getting those amazing legendaries and spells from Act 3 with my wizard, no1curr about some virtual elven or scaly ass, there's Youporn for that shit
I'm glad you're super special but romantic wish fulfillment in cRPGs goes as far back as the fucking Gold Box games. It's a hallmark of escapism.
 
Be like me and don't romance. It's a game not sex sim.
I was far more preoccupied in getting those amazing legendaries and spells from Act 3 with my wizard, no1curr about some virtual elven or scaly ass, there's Youporn for that shit
Honestly, who was talking to any of these weirdos apart from "please push that goblin off that cliff" or ""let's get a Guidance spell on me". It's a great strategy game and you can avoid most of the dialogue with your companions, or just go with a party of all hirelings instead.
 
Be like me and don't romance. It's a game not sex sim.
I was far more preoccupied in getting those amazing legendaries and spells from Act 3 with my wizard, no1curr about some virtual elven or scaly ass, there's Youporn for that shit
Couldn’t agree more. Played a human supremacist vengeance paladin (or as I liked to call him: The Inquisitor.) I do not fraternize with inferior xeno scum or half-breeds. Instantly became an “Oath breaker” in Act 1 for committing war crimes against the tiefling scum.

The fact that you can instantly murder the circus tranny in act 3 means this game is an automatic 10/10. Not even the Ultra-TERF Hogwarts Legacy let me murder SIRona (although they did give me a useful cutting spell that I used to give xer a complimentary SRS procedure.)
 
It got to the point I seriously considered just slaughtering all the NPCs and rolling by myself, because fuck all of those special snowflake assholes.

They promised that after they patch all the serious bugs they will indeed implement the single hero mode officially so you can solo the entire game.
 
When I was in my high school years and San Andreas came out, with the famous hot coffee mod, even then we knew well enough to not broadcast it to the world how desperate we were to see pixelated fucking.

Now we live in an age where pixelated fucking is the primary selling point of an entire game. I could tell you literally nothing about Baldurs Gate from advertising except that it looks like a game where you can fuck other characters. Every single piece of media attention around this game that I've seen has centered on characters fucking. Every social media post or clip I've seen of this game is about characters fucking. As far as I can tell you don't do a damn thing in Baldurs Gate 3 except speech checks to determine which cartoon video game character will let your cartoon video game character have sex with them.

So I can see why the trannies are so into it but is there even anyone else playing Baldurs Gate 3 but trannies and coomers who bought it thinking it was an RPG of 3dsexvilla?
 
Female writers think therapy is the end all be all of any conflict. Everything can be solved if you just talk it out. What's hilarious is how so little problems are actually solved by talking about them. Video games are doing things, not talking about them. That's why it feels so weird and out of place. Why it's so forced and unnatural. More than just being different, that line of thinking goes against the logic of videogames themselves. It's why talking down Lanius in FNV is retarded no matter how much people try to justify it: you created an anticlimax in place of a perfect climax that you would've had little to no difficulty pulling off.
Yeah, who the hell wants talking in an RPG? It isn't like the Fallout games have a history of being able to talk your enemies into sabotaging their own plans (aside from FO1, FO2, FO3, and Tactics).
 
When he tried to bite my character I did not kill him. However when I met the vampire hunter I told him where our camp was, drew him a map and drew him a picture of the correct tent.

And I never had to see Astarion again.
See, that right there is another selling point of this game: player agency is amazing. I had no idea you could do that, partly because I either stake the bastard or let it slide cuz he's the party dexmonkey and I'm cheap and don't want to spring for a hireling.
Honestly, who was talking to any of these weirdos apart from "please push that goblin off that cliff" or ""let's get a Guidance spell on me". It's a great strategy game and you can avoid most of the dialogue with your companions, or just go with a party of all hirelings instead.
Part of any RPG is getting to know your companions, or at least it always has been for me. Plus XP from their personal quests. This is the first RPG I can recall where I've come to regret talking to them.
 
the faggotry of baulder's gate 3 can pound sand, VTM Bloodlines already had good enough vampire chicks and that game can legally vote now. Even with the limitations of early 2000's graphics, they at least tried to put attractive women in front of you because they knew people liked that shit.
JV.jpg
 
Did you forget about the legions of rats you killed to get to that point?
Look, you kill the rats so you can level up and add points to your Speech skill; it's perfectly normal for a person who spends hours upon hours in a dank cave murdering rats to start talking to themselves. I'm not the one with the problem!

I mean my character isn't.
 
Look, you kill the rats so you can level up and add points to your Speech skill; it's perfectly normal for a person who spends hours upon hours in a dank cave murdering rats to start talking to themselves. I'm not the one with the problem!

I mean my character isn't.
>tfw the corridor of flesh wasn't the Master but you battling the psychosis developed from months killing rats and raiders
 
With BG3 you sorta have to actively choose to progress a lot of this romance stuff. But they did make the mistake of starting the introductions for all these characters in quick succession at the start so you feel a little bombarded by it even if you can just ignore it right after and focus on other story stuff.

I only realized in my second playthrough that you had to choose to talk to some companions after some events for them to actually be commenting on it. Also missed a bunch of stuff in my first playthrough like that demon woman and obnoxious black character, who I think is the only real problem in the game's story. Apparently the voice actor for the character thought it was prejudiced to have the black character have negative traits so he was rewritten to be generally perfect morally (so now I either ignore or kill him).

Similar stuff happened with at least one other VA where they changed some lines for them, so I think why gay vampire gets liked so much is the VA being willing to go along with whatever goofy shit the game makers wanted so the character ended up more entertaining.
 
Yeah, who the hell wants talking in an RPG? It isn't like the Fallout games have a history of being able to talk your enemies into sabotaging their own plans (aside from FO1, FO2, FO3, and Tactics).
This would be a better post if you did this by having them sit on a couch and talking them through the time they got diddled by a Ghoul when they were a child.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Pedophobe
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back