Culture A video game vampire has captured the hearts of many

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By Scottie Andrew, CNN
October 31, 2023

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Behold, the beloved vampire elf of "Baldur's Gate 3." Astarion has quickly become the popular game's runaway star.

In “Baldur’s Gate 3,” a massive video game set in the world of “Dungeons & Dragons”, winged beasts have nothing on one devilishly handsome vampire.

Astarion, a silver-haired vampire with a jawline that could cut glass and a propensity for even more cutting verbal takedowns, is an integral member of a player’s “party” and sardonic foil to self-serious wizards, warlocks, clerics and other standard D&D characters. But many players care more about what happens between quests — attempting to win Astarion’s cold, undead heart.

“Baldur’s Gate 3” players can woo Astarion throughout the game, and hundreds of thousands of them have tried — and failed. But even those who can’t successfully romance the bloodsucker have fallen for him anyway — he’s inspired TikTok homages that have been viewed over 600 million times, fan-made artwork on Tumblr and, like many vamps before him, steamy Wattpad fan fiction.

“On my honor,” Astarion says with feigned seriousness, “the only thing on my mind is depraved carnal lust.” That line alone has spawned dozens of fan videos.

Astarion is a clever, mercurial charmer, but he’s also a rogue elf who lived much of his eternal life as a slave and became a bloodsucker against his will. His casual coldness, players realize, is his defense against feeling anything too deeply. It’s enough to make them think, “I can fix him.”

Rachel Stewart has tried, even playing the game twice through to win his affections. During her first playthrough of the game, Astarion didn’t care for her “neutral good” campaign style and rejected her. So on her second go-round, Stewart, a Victorian literary historicist at Ohio State University who’s extensively studied vampire fiction, crafted the perfect mate for Astarion — a semi-chaotic dark elf sorcerer with whom the vamp shares a much stronger connection.

“Whether you want to marry Astarion, be his therapist, project your own issues onto him, or merely wallow in the angst, he’s got you covered,” Stewart told CNN.

It’s not easy to win his affections​

Players have a veritable buffet of potential romantic partners in “Baldur’s Gate 3,” but Astarion is perhaps the most charismatic — and objectively gorgeous.

“Let’s get the obvious out of the way — he’s hot!” Stewart said.

And yet, his approval may be hardest to win. The character, colorfully voiced by Neil Newbon, is such a desirable beau that fans have authored step-by-step guides on how to earn his approval and reach coveted “intimate scenes.”

Prying his heart open can take dozens of hours of gameplay, and one wrong response can turn Astarion off for good. Nearly 100,000 players were rejected by Astarion in the opening weekend alone, per Larian Studios, which released the game. It’s given players all the more reason to return to the game and try their luck with Astarion again.

And even if players do get there, there’s no guarantee Astarion will stick around: “Ugh,” he’ll yowl. “Five seconds into this relationship and I already want to break up with you.”

Vampires like Astarion are endlessly compelling​

Stewart said Astarion is a near-perfect example of a “Byronic vampire,” based on the 19th-century poet Lord Byron, known for being “beautiful, flirty but constantly moody and a jerk to most people.”

The modern vampires with whom fans have fallen in love tend to follow a similar model: They’re often gorgeous and shamelessly sexual, but they’re secretly tortured, too, and deeply devoted to those to whom they open up, Stewart said. Before Astarion, there were Louis and Lestat of Anne Rice’s “Vampire Chronicles,” “Twilight’s” Edward Cullen and Damon Salvatore of “The Vampire Diaries,” to name a few vamps with which Astarion shares his most endearing traits.

“The allure of the Byronic vampire comes with the sympathetic quality to them — that they struggle with their own status as ‘monster’ and have a heart underneath all that blood,” Stewart said.

Some players have already brought the best out of Astarion: “I am capable of doing the right thing from … time to time,” he quips in one scenario.

Vamps — they’re just like us!​

When they’re not dream-partner material, they can be our stand-ins, too. Their experiences often represent a fantastical, distorted version of our own, Stewart said.

Astarion may be an especially meaningful character to players who’ve felt subjugated or abused: It was never his choice to become a vampire, Stewart noted, and the lack of control that defined so much of his eternal life shaped who he became even after he was freed.

“Choice is something that seems to be getting stripped away from us more and more each day, so his struggles feel especially topical,” she said.

Creators of vampire fiction have also used vampirism as a metaphor for addiction or sexuality, and many vampires experience alienation or discrimination because of their “abnormal consumption habits,” Stewart said. They often spend their existences reconciling their dark nature with their more human qualities — psychological wrestling that even some humans do.

“Their popularity comes down to our increasing willingness to identify with the monster itself,” Stewart said. “It’s a dangerously dark fantasy to want to be the one to help the vampire fight their inner demons, but it’s also a reality for many people who also struggle with their own darkness and it’s affirming to see our own complex monstrosities depicted in fiction.”

Whether Astarion leans all the way into his inner darkness or overcomes his more violent urges through the power of love is for players to discover. At the very least, they can pray that he offers them a cuddle.
 
Spider-Man 2 is all about rehabilitating criminals.
Didn't know that, sounds like that's the fault of the last spider man movie no way home. The whole thing's basically about rehabilitating criminals, treating all of them as if they've just got mental disorders that can be cured through da science. Even after they kill your (adoptive) mother. It's mental, but that mentality is everywhere.
 
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Didn't know that, sounds like that's the fault of the last spider man movie no way home. The whole thing's basically about rehabilitating criminals, treating all of them as if they've just got mental disorders that can be cured through da science. Even after they kill your (adoptive) mother. It's mental, but that mentality is everywhere.
The difference is those villains were legitimately fucked in the head where as the vidya ones are HE DINDU NUFFIN and I HATE MY JOB AND IT'S YOUR FAULT
 
Never heard of this guy, but I still see people talking about Tits McGee from the last Resident Evil game. That's probably the last AAA character that seemed to be designed with a male audience in mind, albeit one with some weird mommy fetishes, if the memes are anything to go by.

I'll just go back to playing my beloved copy of Leisure Suit Larry IV, the greatest game ever made, and pretend Tumblr remained quarantined and didn't destroy all that was good and holy in our culture.
 
I will also give Baldur's Gate 3 some credit in that the writing feels like it was written by the studio and that the writers are actual fans of D&D and Baldur's Gate. At least Larian didn't outsource their writing for this game to Sweet Baby Inc. Wizards of the Coast is bad enough. If those wretched fucks (Sweet Baby Inc.) got their hands on this game it would have made Mass Effect Andromeda look like Citizen Kane.
 
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The difference is those villains were legitimately fucked in the head where as the vidya ones are HE DINDU NUFFIN and I HATE MY JOB AND IT'S YOUR FAULT
It also backfired when Norman used Holland Pete's empathy to manipulate him, and it costed him greatly. Plus Electro was a piece of shit too IIRC.

So really it's only Doc Oct and Conners as the tragic villains.
I will also give Baldur's Gate 3 some credit in that the writing feels like it was written by the studio and that the writers were actual fans of D&D and Baldur's Gate. At least Larian didn't outsource their writing for this game to Sweet Baby Inc. Wizards of the Coast is bad enough. If these wretched fucks got their hands on this game it would have made Mass Effect Andromeda look like Citizen Kane.
Might aswell have. Game is pretty damn woke.
 
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Do the right thing and stake him the first time he comes at you.

Goddamn, this game was full of "The Author's Barely Disguised Fetish".

Right down to zoophilia...urgh.
yes
you know a woman wrote this scene too
View attachment 5457570

If you ever feel bad about your own writing, just rest assured that this industry is so garbage that you are not missing much by not being part of it.
Nigger, please. There's only one vampire nerds want to see get fucked, and they already did it a couple years ago.


It was the best Morbing of times, it was the worst Morbing of times.
Girl, Twilight is over 18 years old. It's time to move on.

Yeah, you arent a high school girl dreaming of a vampire pretty boy taking you in his arms and somehow finding you, a basic bitch, to be the love of his life when he could have way hotter bitches anymore.

You are a bitterful OnlyFans thot that struggles to love anyone because you have convinced yourself you are a 10 when you are a 7 at best with make up.
 
I expected this to be about Serana from Skyrim and the weird attachement redditors have for her, but I guess that wouldn't make sense having an article now
 
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Is there a good turn-based Warhammer Fantasy game? I'm not too laser-gun nerdy, mostly Delayed Blast Fireball nerdy.
Mechanicus is good but difficult as it's got a "doom clock" mechanic if you fuck up/are too slow. The soundtrack is fucking amazing, btw.

Chaos Gate: Demonhunters is ok but you'd want to get it on sale.
 
So I've played the game. I love the turn-based combat, the graphics are great, and the voice acting is good.

But the writing is ass, a ton of content was cut, very few things have serious consequences, and every recruitable character has something obnoxious and/or special snowflakey. And a bunch of them were really obvious last minute additions that are barely finished.

But the part that kills me is that every single party member is bisexual and immediately attracted to you.

There is a TON of other low-key woke shit, but I can let it slide:
  • There are no racial stats, only racial traits.
  • Genital/pronoun selection at character creation.
  • All of the heavily-armored, melee bruiser classed party members are girlboss females. While the males are stuck as the squishies, Rogues, Wizards, and Warlocks
  • The default "Hirelings" (NPCs with no personality or plot to fill out your party) consist of dangerhairs, bearded ladies, and various other nonsense.
  • Tieflings, a race of demon-bloods that are naturally driven toward their darker impulses, are portrayed as poor, misunderstood refugees. They are, of course, a playable race while their divine-blooded Aasimar counterparts aren't.
 
What I have concluded from watching women melt over Astarion is that
1. they all want to fuck their sassy gay friends if they have any, and
2. they are all too innocent for this world. The guy is obviously lying out his ass in the romantic encounters, and yet these idiots are believing it? Gorls, haven't y'all ever been lied to? For real?

Pathetic.
 
Apparently the voice actor for the character thought it was prejudiced to have the black character have negative traits so he was rewritten to be generally perfect morally (so now I either ignore or kill him).

Similar stuff happened with at least one other VA where they changed some lines for them, so I think why gay vampire gets liked so much is the VA being willing to go along with whatever goofy shit the game makers wanted so the character ended up more entertaining.
In Larians defense, if you're talking about Wyll, it had nothing to do with his voice actor, it was early-access feedback.

Literally all of your companions were evil and would all throw hissy fits about anything good you did. Seriously. Helping almost anyone or not immediately demanding payment from everyone would piss off your entire party. Wyll included.

He was originally a noblemans kid who was traumatized by a goblin attack and sold his soul in exchange for enough power to get revenge on them. He would act like a hero, but it was all false and he was just a vengeance-crazed, bloodthirsty psycho.

They changed it so that he was still a nobles kid traumatized by goblins. And he still sold his soul for power, but this time it was so he could use it to protect others and genuinely tries to be a hero. So you can have a companion that actually supports you helping people. They even changed his background from "Noble" to "Folk Hero"

That said, having the black guy also coincidentally also be the good guy was definitely a conscious, woke choice by Larian.

The other character they did it to was Karlach. She was originally yet another evil party member, a bloodthirsty tiefling soldier from the Blood Wars. They changed her to be an unwillingly conscripted soldier in the Blood Wars instead and a lot less bloodthirsty.

Too bad they literally cut a bunch of her character arc endings out of the finished game.

they are all too innocent for this world. The guy is obviously lying out his ass in the romantic encounters, and yet these idiots are believing it? Gorls, haven't y'all ever been lied to? For real?
This is EXPLICITLY told to you in conversations with him. And girls STILL fall for it.
 
Yup. Pretty much. It's unrealistic as fuck.

I really should do that sometime, but I enjoy fucking and sacrificing my darling Camellia too much. The swarm autism you contract is something I don't think I've ever seen in a videogame. You legitimately become something of an eldritch abomination even in the setting where older-than-time beings exists. It's late game path status is a massive downside though. I have to plot around this kind of shit. Roleplay even.
Heheh when the game /companions are more cool with you becoming a demon worshipping murder addict or a Necromancer lord than the Swarm..... You know it's going to be an interesting playthrough 😊
See, that right there is another selling point of this game: player agency is amazing. I had no idea you could do that, partly because I either stake the bastard or let it slide cuz he's the party dexmonkey and I'm cheap and don't want to spring for a hireling.

Part of any RPG is getting to know your companions, or at least it always has been for me. Plus XP from their personal quests. This is the first RPG I can recall where I've come to regret talking to them.
Goddamn it's bad when the companions in a party based RPG SUCK so hard you don't want to talk with them. I thoroughly enjoyed all Dragon age and mass effect companions
I'm really interested in seeing how The Elder Scrolls VI turns out after that 15-17 year gap from Skyrim's initial release wow. I guess ESO would give some clues, but I haven't looked at it.
Todd Howard is staying until ES6 is released so it won't be wokified to hell.

After that .... Oh man who knows.

ESO is still your generic high fantasy setting
So I've played the game. I love the turn-based combat, the graphics are great, and the voice acting is good.

But the writing is ass, a ton of content was cut, very few things have serious consequences, and every recruitable character has something obnoxious and/or special snowflakey. And a bunch of them were really obvious last minute additions that are barely finished.

But the part that kills me is that every single party member is bisexual and immediately attracted to you.

There is a TON of other low-key woke shit, but I can let it slide:
  • There are no racial stats, only racial traits.
  • Genital/pronoun selection at character creation.
  • All of the heavily-armored, melee bruiser classed party members are girlboss females. While the males are stuck as the squishies, Rogues, Wizards, and Warlocks
  • The default "Hirelings" (NPCs with no personality or plot to fill out your party) consist of dangerhairs, bearded ladies, and various other nonsense.
  • Tieflings, a race of demon-bloods that are naturally driven toward their darker impulses, are portrayed as poor, misunderstood refugees. They are, of course, a playable race while their divine-blooded Aasimar counterparts aren't.
Meanwhile Larian made the Divinity series including the excellent Divinity Dragon Commander..... How did they go so off script?
 
What I have concluded from watching women melt over Astarion is that
1. they all want to fuck their sassy gay friends if they have any, and
2. they are all too innocent for this world. The guy is obviously lying out his ass in the romantic encounters, and yet these idiots are believing it? Gorls, haven't y'all ever been lied to? For real?

Pathetic.
Bro don't you get it bro he got raped or some shit that excuses the barely disguised contempt and faggotry he has for everyone bro.
 
What I have concluded from watching women melt over Astarion is that
1. they all want to fuck their sassy gay friends if they have any, and
2. they are all too innocent for this world. The guy is obviously lying out his ass in the romantic encounters, and yet these idiots are believing it? Gorls, haven't y'all ever been lied to? For real?

Pathetic.
As I have stated many times, many of these annoying Tumblr girls greatest fantasy is to fuck a gay man and fuck the gay out of him. It is the same as the guy who thinks he can dick the gay out of the lesbian. It's not going to happen. Your dick or vagina isn't that magical.
 
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