Absurd premises for songs - Songs about haircuts, the merits of pet ownership and so on

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It seems like maybe we're referring to, like...quirky type absurd concepts, and the first one here definitely is dark, but there are a couple I like.

I think I brought it up in the metal thread, but one of my favorite Avenged Sevenfold songs is A Little Piece of Heaven, which is a largely orchestral song about a man who wants to propose to his girlfriend but is afraid to do so, so he instead murders her, has sex with her corpse, she comes back to life, murders him, they both go to hell and reconcile, come back to get married as undead fiends, then go on a killing rampage. It's touching. There's even a great illustrated video for the whole thing:

The song Hook by blues traveler is a piece they specifically made as a very passive aggressive jab at formulaic songwriting. They blatantly used the chord progression from Pachelbel's canon and all the lyrics are about how it doesn't matter what the lyrics are, and sure enough it wound up their biggest hit. It's a little snarky for my tastes, John Popper can be a bit of a fedora tipper, but still:

For Frank Zappa's "Don Eat the Yellow Snow" all the lyrics were basically random shit made up on the fly because his agent or manager or whoever told him that his instrumental songs wouldn't get radio play unless they had lyrics of some kind:

Pretty much half of all System of a Down songs could go here, but I'll stop.
 
Bullet by Misfits. Hilarious song. According to wikipedia, this song is one of the Misfits dips into "political" lyrics. Apparently just talking about a president = political. I disagree. I think the song is really just about how Glenn wants to fuck Jackie Kennedy.
 
ralph the bike

Uberpenguin said:
I think I brought it up in the metal thread, but one of my favorite Avenged Sevenfold songs is A Little Piece of Heaven, which is a largely orchestral song about a man who wants to propose to his girlfriend but is afraid to do so, so he instead murders her, has sex with her corpse, she comes back to life, murders him, they both go to hell and reconcile, come back to get married as undead fiends, then go on a killing rampage. It's touching. There's even a great illustrated video for the whole thing:
Click to expand...
a friend showed me this song a few years ago, my favorite lyric is 'Cause I really always knew that my little crime would be cold That's why I got a heater for your thighs'
 
I don't speak güttenbüttenborgenstein-ish so idk wtf he's talking about. Probably about how much he likes sausage
 
I drugged you, fucked your girlfriend, then cut myself.

[Verse 1]
I fucked your girlfriend last night
While you snored and drooled, I fucked your love
She called me Daddy
And I called her baby when I smacked her ass
I called her sugar when I ate her alive till daylight
And I slept with her all over me
From forehead to rib cage I dripped her ass
Sometimes I thought you might be spying
Living out some brash fantasy, but no
You were knocked out
But we were all knocked out you know
In a way

[Refrain 1]
I'm out of my fucking mind
I serve too many masters

[Verse 2]
We didn't know you'd break the bottle
That the magic came in to use those jagged shards
To cut our wrists and neck
And you'd do it too, you're that kind of dude
But you wouldn't know what you were doing
Because I didn't
Your girlfriend could have been a burn victim
An amputee, a dead body
But god damn I wanted to fuck

[Refrain 2]
I'm losing what's left of my fucking mind
I serve too many fucking masters
I fucking told you
I'm losing that fucking every fucking bit
Of a motherfucking mind, you fuck

[Outro]
I told you. I told you motherfucker
 
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