Careercow Adam Sessler - Former G4 Host, Possibly a Coke Addict, Zoe Quinn Orbiter, Increasingly Irrelevant Cuck

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I made this and posted over in the Frosk thread before I knew this thread existed, so enjoy this shitpost
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This being real is probably what Sessler really wants
"GAMERS could be here," he thought. "I've never been on this set before. There could be GAMERS anywhere." The shirt from wardrobe felt good against his rock hard nips. "I HATE GAMERS," he thought.
 
Sessler becoming a banker as a young man with a bachelor's degree in English literature makes no sense to me. I have a feeling he's backed by trust fund money and had some sort of nepotistic foot in the door at the bank.
I know in Canada that banks will hire anyone with a degree as front line staff, like tellers and stuff. But I assume, that he probably had Mommy and Daddy pull strings to get him a job at some local branch.

I am always shocked by this man's beahviour. He could have faded off into the sunset, never to be heard from again, and have a legacy where people still had fond memories of him. Instead, because he has no idea how to shut the fuck up, he's going to rage and sputter, against all who he perceives as wrong him. Like the Farm's current thwomp faced nemesis.
 
I am always shocked by this man's beahviour. He could have faded off into the sunset, never to be heard from again, and have a legacy where people still had fond memories of him. Instead, because he has no idea how to shut the fuck up, he's going to rage and sputter, against all who he perceives as wrong him. Like the Farm's current thwomp faced nemesis.
Addiction - to social media, Trump, coke, and God knows what else - is a hell of a thing. Now that he's laid himself bare it kind of pains me to think back to the time when I actually liked this dummy.
 
What apartment in LA are you talking about, Adam?
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Addiction - to social media, Trump, coke, and God knows what else - is a hell of a thing.
And Zoe Quinn cuckoldry. I think he has photos of him supporting Zoe Quinn along with her failed GamerGate book.
 
If Wikipedia can be trusted he worked as a credit analyst for ABN-Amro. TBH, idk how he got hired there without any degree in accounting etc., but otoh it's a not really well paid job (average about 60k USD/year).
The cynic in me thinks it might have been the best paid job he ever had in his whole "career".
I agree. Mommy and daddy likely had connections to get their slacker burnout son a job because even back then a liberal arts degree was worthless. Mommy and daddy’s connections is likely how he got into UCLA too.

Agreed about it likely being his best paying gig. A lot of people conflate being on TV with being loaded but there’s no way G4 wasn’t done on anything but a shoestring budget since it had a small niche audience. It’s likely why he even participated in the revival to begin with: he likely doesn’t have much in the bank. Meanwhile Morgan Webb married a millionaire.

Cuckler’s deep resentment at how his life turned out is the root cause of his rage and bitterness. Now that the G4 revival died, his opportunity to even be marginally relevant died. He’s the endgame of the Generation X slacker who cared more about keeping it real than staying employed.
 
What apartment in LA are you talking about, Adam?
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And Zoe Quinn cuckoldry. I think he has photos of him supporting Zoe Quinn along with her failed GamerGate book.
I'm sure openly antagonizing people on the Internet will continue to work well for him in this regard.
 
I agree. Mommy and daddy likely had connections to get their slacker burnout son a job because even back then a liberal arts degree was worthless. Mommy and daddy’s connections is likely how he got into UCLA too.
Getting into high class Universities isn't about your education it is about the connections you make there and it is pretty obvious that Sessler failed at that too, otherwise he wouldn't have ended in some shitty TV-show which was a niche program at best, if he could made the right connections he would have ended up at network tv and not at G-4 or he would have gotten a good paying job somewhere else.
I'm pretty sure Sessler was already an unlikeable prat back then, being such an asshole like him doesn't come over night.
Agreed about it likely being his best paying gig. A lot of people conflate being on TV with being loaded but there’s no way G4 wasn’t done on anything but a shoestring budget since it had a small niche audience. It’s likely why he even participated in the revival to begin with: he likely doesn’t have much in the bank. Meanwhile Morgan Webb married a millionaire.
Married a millionaire and is still working at Bonfire Studios and contrary to Sessler she was and is universally liked.
Cuckler’s deep resentment at how his life turned out is the root cause of his rage and bitterness. Now that the G4 revival died, his opportunity to even be marginally relevant died. He’s the endgame of the Generation X slacker who cared more about keeping it real than staying employed.
Ofc it is, he never really was relevant any ways, most likely he just took G4 as a stepping stone to a career at the NYT etc, and as this didn't happen and he was fired from G4 he sunk back into the void and tbh he should have stayed there.
But the most important thing he has achieved now is that given his Twatter meltdowns and temper tantrums he is publicly unemployable now. No one will hire such an unhinged individual like Sessler, the guy is a living red flag and a law suit in waiting.
Just imagine he goes and throws a shit fit like he does hourly on Twatter against a co-worker, this guy is every HR-Dept's nightmare.


TL;DR: He's done and either he an heores himself or he od's sometime in the future.
 
The Doug Walker/Channel Awesome comparisons made earlier in this thread isn't being fair.
Doug is an actual likeable guy that respects his fans. Adam Sessler is nothing more than an annoying douche.
I certainly didn't compare him to Doug Walker, he's like one of the channel awesome idiots who went on a rampage with the change the channel shit, and a decade later still rages, has an even smaller audience, and just wallows in their own misery(filmbrain, nash, linkara, marzgurl, lupa, etc.) continuing to be a failure.
 
I know in Canada that banks will hire anyone with a degree as front line staff, like tellers and stuff. But I assume, that he probably had Mommy and Daddy pull strings to get him a job at some local branch.

I am always shocked by this man's beahviour. He could have faded off into the sunset, never to be heard from again, and have a legacy where people still had fond memories of him. Instead, because he has no idea how to shut the fuck up, he's going to rage and sputter, against all who he perceives as wrong him. Like the Farm's current thwomp faced nemesis.
The fact that his former cohost fucked off to do her own thing and has much more in her resume than he does says a lot.
 
if he really did use the nose candy, his entire behavior is completely explainable. Coke fries the brain something awful and it destroys one's ability for self-control and royally screws one's rational judgment capabilities. That's why guys like that go off their rocker and never can seem to get it back together.
 
The Doug Walker/Channel Awesome comparisons made earlier in this thread isn't being fair.
Doug is an actual likeable guy that respects his fans. Adam Sessler is nothing more than an annoying douche.
Forget the personality component, I think it's a completely misplaced comparison for one reason.

Doug keeps his head down and doesn't take part in controversy to the point where he doesn't even address it.

Adam Sessler is an abrasive thin-skinned douchebag who will argue with literally anyone and everyone over any perceived slight or criticism.

If you put Adam as the focal point of something like the CA controversy, he would still be talking about it, arguing with people on social media about it, and unable to let it go. He would probably fight it at first and argue, then apologize, then keep fighting it and arguing it. Repeat. It would be a never-ending Groundhog's Day of retardation. Doug isn't the brightest bulb, but he's wise enough to just ignore shit like that until nobody cares and not give people any ammunition to attack him with. Adam could never even come close to weathering a storm like that and shutting the fuck up.
 
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