Advice on something - Because we should always ask strangers on the Internet for the solution to our life's problems

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

Hey all, I was wondering about this thing. A friend of mine has just gotten engaged. I found out through Facebook. The thing is, we had a sort of falling out over a year ago, so we're not really friends anymore. He got to being a dick to me and when I finally put my foot down, he agreed to shape up, but he acted awkward around me afterwards, so the friendship was lukewarm. He had to move off for a year and so I wasn't really talking to him during that time. Found out he was coming back to town fairly regularly (to see the gf he's engaged to now), but he had never suggested hanging out with me in all that time. Ran into him once and he acted real awkward, like he wasn't happy to see me.

So now he's engaged, but like I said, I saw it on Facebook; he hasn't said anything to me. We were pretty big friends for about two years, but I think that ship has sailed. I'm just mulling over if I should text him my congratulations or what. What makes it even weirder is that I've been invited to another dude's wedding, and there's a good chance that friend will be there too.

 

[Franjevina]

This is so gay it makes gay people scream gaaaaaaay .

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

This is so gay it makes gay people scream gaaaaaaay .

I've added a poll for your benefit

 

[Carcinogenesis]

If someone doesn't like you, there's probably nothing you can do, especially if it's you who has the problems. For all I know, you could be some jerk that can't see he's a jerk, your friend could very well be the sane one.

Don't pursue a friendship with him, he doesn't like you and has clearly moved on in life. If you did something wrong to him, at least have the decency of apologizing to him. Or, just forget you've seen him, that might be what he wants.

 

[Marco Fucko]

The fact that you only found out through a public notification tells you everything you need to know. The intimacy of friendship has been lost, better to have some fond memories and understand you had a falling out than trying to rekindle something and then falling out again.

So I guess treat him like a girl but don't fuck him.

 

[ManateeHunter]

What are you, his ex-girlfriend? If the reason you're trying to contact him isn't to fuck him over or anything, walk away. He clearly doesn't like you in the least.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

If someone doesn't like you, there's probably nothing you can do, especially if it's you who has the problems. For all I know, you could be some jerk that can't see he's a jerk, your friend could very well be the sane one.

Don't pursue a friendship with him, he doesn't like you and has clearly moved on in life. If you did something wrong to him, at least have the decency of apologizing to him. Or, just forget you've seen him, that might be what he wants.

I’m not much worried about the friendship (it’s pretty dead), just how I’m supposed to act.

As far as why we started having trouble, he got to kind of bullying me about my major (way more than the ribbing you’d expect), and I take pride in my field and care about my career, so it bothered me a lot. Other sort of digs too. Everybody ribs each other but I felt like there was a sort of nasty intent behind his. Made me kind of stressed to be around him. It also seemed like if anything went well for me, he’d put down whatever the achievement was.

I thought of it as being sort of “toxic,” and my folks agreed, but they didn’t see it as being that big a deal since they weren’t the ones putting up with it.

Eventually it culminated in him offending me in a big way, so I just stopped talking to him entirely until I happened to run into him and he asked me about it. I explained why I wasn’t finding him enjoyable to be around anymore. He was sullen about it but accepted it, but he never acted comfortable around me after that.

I think the reason he started putting me down so much to start with was because he was jealous that I had parents who were paying for me to be in college, and cared about me. He was raised by a single mother and was fending for himself, and had a much harder major (at the time).

TL;DR: He started making fun of me a lot, and I’m a pussy, so I didn’t like it.

The fact that you only found out through a public notification tells you everything you need to know. The intimacy of friendship has been lost, better to have some fond memories and understand you had a falling out than trying to rekindle something and then falling out again.

So I guess treat him like a girl but don't fuck him.

That’s what I feared. I figured that if he didn’t send me some message about it in person, I’m not important enough to be keeping up with him.

Like, that other guy who invited me to his wedding is a friend I haven’t REALLY dealt with since high school... I wouldnt have expected an invitation at all, just because I’m not part of his life anymore, but he still sent me an invitation. Not a personal one, but a mass one.

 

[Agoraphobic Bullshit]

Ugh. Just.. be an adult. Remove this person from social media and don't worry about them. If you see them at the wedding and cannot gracefully avoid them, give a polite congratulations and excuse yourself.

Most of all, don't ask Kiwis for advice.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

What are you, his ex-girlfriend? If the reason you're trying to contact him isn't to fuck him over or anything, walk away. He clearly doesn't like you in the least.

It’s just a matter, to me, of if I should be congratulating him (as somebody I was good friends with) or not. Where my social obligations lay.

And I don’t feel spite towards him, really. I find it more sad that it turned out like it did. There’s a lot I admire about him, it just went bad and was made worse by both of us.

 

[byuu]

Clearly, there's some sexual tension between you two.
You guys should fuck and get it out of your system.

 

[Dilligaff]

Ignore him and move on. Those are your social obligations. Stop wasting energy on this person.

 

[Babyspackle]

let it go, let him go and move on. what are you a 16 y/o girl ?

 

[.Woody]

Crash the wedding, confess your love for him, and run off into the sunset as a a couple. Of faggots.

 

[Aria]

If your friend doesn't like you then move on.remove him from your life and move on.

Their are other people in this world who can be freinds with you.


And out all the places you come to for advice why kiwifarms?

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

If your friend doesn't like you then move on.remove him from your life and move on.

Their are other people in this world who can be freinds with you.


And out all the places you come to for advice why kiwifarms?

Eh, because I’m already logged in here. And I don’t feel comfortable talking to my parents about it. They really like the guy for some reason and pressure me to try to hang out with him even though I don’t really want to. Keeps it in my mind.

I do have other friends, who are also better friends too.

So the big lesson here is basically to tell my parents to stop bothering me about it, I think.

 

[inexplicable ethos]

Eh, because I’m already logged in here. And I don’t feel comfortable talking to my parents about it. They really like the guy for some reason and pressure me to try to hang out with him even though I don’t really want to. Keeps it in my mind.

I do have other friends, who are also better friends too.

So the big lesson here is basically to tell my parents to stop bothering me about it, I think.

Please don't tell me you have a friend old enough to have moved away, moved back, gotten engaged, and is soon to be married, and yet you still live with your parents.

 

[ManateeHunter]

Please don't tell me you have a friend old enough to have moved away, moved back, gotten engaged, and is soon to be married, and yet you still live with your parents.

Too late for that tbh

 

[Rancid Flid]

Declare war on your friend, kill him & take his wife for yourself as the spoils of war.

 

[MechanicusAdmin]

Let it go my friend. Let it go.

And then when that relationship all goes to shit in the near future and theres drama and ugly fallout, you wont have to listen or be involved with any of it. You can just sip your whiskey in peace at home.

 

[Shoggoth]

Is he a very short guy?
Anyway, don't be a pussy, call to congratulate him, make some polite noises, and let it rest. If he invites you, which he should have the sense not to, excuse yourself. send a card after.