Now here's a little story,
To tell it I must do,
About a bloke from Cov’,
Who we all call ‘Baloo’.
Well some lads like a short bird,
And others like ‘em tall.
But my old man don't like ‘em,
Unless her age is small.
Oh, my old man's a pedo!
He don’t go in for teens.
He wears an adult nappy,
And he campaigns for the Greens.
He looks a proper nana,
In his big ol’ baby’s dress.
He's got such a job to do it up -
As a nonce ‘e lacks finesse.
Oh, every now and then,
To the attic he’d retreat.
Some poor young thing to violate,
Electrocute and beat.
To the fuzz he was reported,
They made the charges plain.
But even so just one year on,
He ran my Green campaign.
So now I’ve come to Reddit,
To start my life anew.
Now have you met my husband?
Yes he’s a pedo too!
Oh, my old man's a pedo!
He don’t go in for teens.
He wears an adult nappy,
And he campaigns for the Greens.