Idk man, you know, it's like a gradual process. You're young and you aren't that sure of yourself but you think "It's ok, I'll figure it all out, I still have time" but then one day you start noticing your first grey hairs popping up and realize you're no closer to knowing what the fuck's going on than you were a decade ago, and you're forced to accept that nothing makes any sense and you should surrender to the madness instead of continuing this childish charade you're putting on by pretending to be a functional adult.
Then next thing you know you wake up and you're on an internet forum talking about fat people and autists. That's just how things go.