Skitzocow Alex Chiu - Asian Nazi Who Loves Magnets

[Flowers For Sonichu]

Along with Gene "Time Cube" Ray, Alex Chiu is one of the oldest lolcows on the internet. I remember first coming across his website over 15 years ago. As you can see, it has not changed at all or was designed by Kengle:

http://www.alexchiu.com

Alex became somewhat famous in the olden days of dial up for his bizarre website that sells magnetic rings that cause immortality. Hear it from the man himself:

When placing the magnetic devices, the magnetic pole on the right side of the human body is opposite to the left side. With a opposite pole on each side of the human body, blood circulation and electric current of the body are enhanced. The enhanced blood circulation and electric current increase metabolism in order to fight the aging process.

The Eternal Life Rings and The Eternal Life Foot Braces invented by Alex Chiu are believed to allow humans to stay physically young forever or turn humans physically younger, (Our lawyer told us to use the word "believe") as long as you wear the rings or foot braces every night during sleep.

There you go, Insane Clown Posse, that's how fuckin magnets work.

Along with his magnet rings, he also sells a couple other products on his site. Aside from being a snake oil salesman, he also expounds some very bizarre beliefs.

First off, Alex is actively searching for the Messiah in order to prevent a global catastrophe by dissolving the global governments into a giant corporation.

He believes this messiah will show up before 2010. If you are this messiah, check this page out.

His site is also full of interesting guides like how to build a teleportation device, a prediction that China and the US will fight a nuclear war over Taiwan (and that George W. Bush will start it), how to heal cripples, cure aids and herpes, and much much more!

"But Hurrhurrhurr, why are you telling us about a website that hasn't been updated in over 10 years?"

While his website is incredibly outdated, his forums are still active and holy shit they're a goldmine of insanity.

First off, despite being Taiwanese, Chiu is pro-China and is constantly predicting a wars between China and other countries.

Here is one based on a dream he had of feeding a Lion:

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Remember the Hong Kong protests? Alex was pretty sure that was the start of WWIII:

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Obama is the worst president ever even though dubya was the antichrist.

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I dunno man, if I was the antichrist I wouldn't go around bragging about it.

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Obeme is a nug:

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"Heil Hitler time nigga!" Wait what? As I mentioned in the title, Alex is a Nazi.

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HITLER DID NOTHING WRONG

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Despite that, Jews are cool.

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His political platform:

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#justnazithings

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hooray slavery!

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There is much much more. I got all of this stuff off the first couple pages, but this is a goldmine of insanity. He also makes youtube videos talking about his rings and other things. I think this is enough to get the ball rolling.

 

[SpessCaptain]

This guy, shiggity diggity-doo.
Does he have any sense of compassion towards the common man?

 

[crayolasword]

Didn't Martin Sargent used to interview this guy on his Infected podcast?

 

[Curt Sibling]

This guy is cereal biz.
Reminds me of the "Educate Yourself" site and their anti-space-lizard crystals for sale!

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

This guy, shiggity diggity-doo.
Does he have any sense of compassion towards the common man?

He gave us the gift of immortality at an affordable price.

Lobsang, the Tyce to his Jace, is also batshit insane.

Spoiler

 

[Frank Rizzo]

"So please, don't be afraid if you hear Nazi heels stomp down the street.....unless you're gay......or a gypsy......or Jewish...."

Fixed.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

I loved this guy as a teen, discovering the internet for the first time.

"Should we help the homeless? READ ALEX CHIU'S RESPONSE!!"
Alex: "Um, yeah."

"SEE MY PLAN FOR A WORKING STAR TREK TRANSPORTER!"
Alex: "Ummm... well, you have two pads... one for sending, and the other for receiving. I thought of this all on my own."

 

[Rin]

He believes this messiah will show up before 2010. If you are this messiah, check this page out.

Someone should let @Brad Watson_Miami know they're looking for him!

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

Considering their Nazi ideology, they're Alex and Lobsang are quite reasonable about the Trayvon Brown situation:

Spoiler

 

[Hawker Hurricane]

this person does realize that a "Moral Compass" isn't an ACTUAL COMPASS, right?

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

sexual orientation: NASDAQ

 

[TyrannoNinja]

Look at this gem on "white people inventing almost everything":

I wonder if he realizes it was his own Chinese people that invented gunpowder in the first place. I mean, there are many, many other inventions I can name that come from non-European countries, but gunpowder was the first one that came to mind since he brought up modern weaponry.

 

[derpi]

Fuckin' miracles, yo.

Does he ever get actively trolled?

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

Fuckin' miracles, yo.

Does he ever get actively trolled?

There are definitely trolls in the forum, but Chiu is too insane to realize they are trolls. The biggest ones are Alexbot and Crystal something.

Here's an old school fan video about him, I remember watching this on newgrounds way back in the day

 

[Dudeofteenage]

Look at this gem on "white people inventing almost everything":
I wonder if he realizes it was his own Chinese people that invented gunpowder in the first place. I mean, there are many, many other inventions I can name that come from non-European countries, but gunpowder was the first one that came to mind since he brought up modern weaponry.

The Chinese didn't just invent gunpowder, they also invented the trigger, which is equally critical to modern firearms. And military rockets, the compass (pretty much vital for naval warfare), cast iron weaponry (cast iron, in fact), explosive projectiles, flamethrowers, signalling flares, hand grenades, naval mines, and aerial reconaissance... really, when it comes to military inventions, China has a very impressive record. You'd think he'd know that, but he seems to be content to repeat racist propaganda.

Although actually he's not the first Chinese person I know who seems to have internalised the whole "China Is Eternally Backward" myth.

 

[Super Collie]

I loved reading this guy's website back in the 90's. It makes me happy to see that it literally has not changed since then. It's like a nice time capsule.

Speaking of, here's a video from 1999 of a young Mo Rocca interviewing Chiu for The Daily Show: http://thedailyshow.cc.com/videos/a1878z/everlasting-chiu

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

"aloow"

...Nick is that you?

 

[autisticdragonkin]

• The Gorgeous pill will make you prettier and more beautiful every morning. You will gradually look PERFECT, even more gorgeous than super models. You will one day reach PHYSICAL PERFECTION!! It is strong enough to change the shape of your facial bones. No more plastic surgery! No more implants.

We should share this on sluthate

 

[Arctic]

• The Gorgeous pill will make you prettier and more beautiful every morning. You will gradually look PERFECT, even more gorgeous than super models. You will one day reach PHYSICAL PERFECTION!! It is strong enough to change the shape of your facial bones. No more plastic surgery! No more implants.

We should share this on sluthate

Fuck the Red Pill, this is what the loveshies need.

 

[Alex Krycek]

I totally forgot about this guy... Found him on Newgrounds back in 2001 myself in some Animutation videos. Me and a few friends used to spend hours browsing his site and laughing at his crazy theories about everything. Had no idea he was a Nazi and iirc he's actually a convert to Judaism himself. I say ADF is my first cow but no it was definitely this guy. Seeing this was a blast from the past, awesome stuff.