Alexandra Rodriguez / Alexandra Irene Thomas / Learning to be Fearless - pathological liar, fake BoPo advocate, professional dropout, apex consumer, great big fatty, now a mother

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

I'm just adoring the fact that her 'thick wrist friendly' watch strap is fucking chomping into her wrist fat like it's a gourmet steak. She should've gone for a larger size.

 

[VinegarPussy]

I must have been the most disorganized, stupid, slob of a new mom. At this stage of new parenthood, I felt as though I couldn’t find the time or energy to leave the house.

I was still struggling to get enough sleep, shower often enough for civilized society and keep up with laundry.

Hair appointments? Manicures? What were those?

I dead ass have a flash bulb memory of sitting on the toilet in uniform, realising I sat down without taking my pants off and being on the verge of tears at the thought of standing, unbuckling my heavy ass duty rig and undoing my pants to pee…I was that tired. Spoiler alert: I soldiered through and did not just sit and piss my pants.

Yar is her defacto brown manny.

ETA: the pic of Yar and Anderson is cute AF. Maybe the horrible thing Yar endured as a toddler will be part of his motivation to be an amazing dad. He seems to really love Anderson.

Fatlex— your wrist isn’t thick. Ilona Maher, the US Women’s rugby player most likely has a thick wrist. Your wrist is fat and if wrist mobility scooters were a thing, it would need one. Stop hoarding fall themed tat and pay attention to Pooper. It will go faster than you can even imagine.

 

[beanbag in a hurry]

self care, yummy pizza recipe, newport family time | vlog​

 

[-Jack-]

self care, yummy pizza recipe, newport family time | vlog​

Okay but that pizza looked pretty decent and the cider donuts

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

Archive:

 

[Hippy Dippy]

When I wake up feeling sweaty & crusty, I take a shower or a bath. What is her obsession with her face?
So good of her to watch her own child while the nanny cuts the grass.

 

[Lidl Drip]

Just another vlog where Alex spends 90% of her day without baby and pampering herself. Who tf has time for face masks, eyebrow dye and making pizza from scratch with a newborn?? I am honestly wondering if they don't have a nanny cause I am having a hard time believing that Yar is really doing it all himself without losing his mind.

 

[annikaguts]

I must have been the most disorganized, stupid, slob of a new mom. At this stage of new parenthood, I felt as though I couldn’t find the time or energy to leave the house.

I was still struggling to get enough sleep, shower often enough for civilized society and keep up with laundry.

Hair appointments? Manicures? What were those?

You were probably taking care of your child yourself, cooking, and cleaning. You didn't have a bought for house boy to pick up the slack.

 

[VinegarPussy]

bought for house boy to pick up the slack.

Where could one acquire one of these? Asking for a friend who is absolutely not me.

 

[often puzzled]

It's Amazon Prime Day, and Alex is contractually obligated to post about it like it's Christmas, Easter, and the second coming all rolled into one. Did you want some cheap clothes intended for skinny 20-somethings with brand names you can trust, like hgoisghouhgzz? Alex has your ample back! She even remembered she has a child long enough to include some burping cloths-- Yar's our preferred brand.

WARNING: following post contains no actual colors, only various shades of beige.

All prices shown are USD.

Spoiler: Alex vs reality: cardigan

Spoiler: Alex vs reality: sherpa vest

Spoiler: Alex vs reality: sweater

Spoiler: Alex vs reality: t-shirt

But wait, there's more!

Spoiler: must consoom

Kardashian headphones. What a world.





Who buys cases of soda on Amazon? The poor mailman.




These are really really pricey items, even with the discounts.



She remembered she has a baby long enough to shill the breast pumps and burp cloths.






I'm not taking skincare advice from Alex.

Why do you need $350 headphones for editing vlogs?



Grid post with giveaway:

 

[thejackal2]

Surely the picture of Yar next to the "fish eye correction" product is a joke...

 

[beanbag in a hurry]

Her legs,

 

[Lucille's Brands]

Alex was caught in the wild at Newport car week. Stills from this guys vlog, timestamped.

Alex's filtered version.


Either way, the outfit is some Amazon overpriced Shein crap that wouldn't look nice on straight sizes, and doesn't 'vibe' with the other car week spectators.
Yar has dragged her to car shows before, but apparently she didn't notice the aesthetic then, either.
Maybe Yar should have just left her at the drive thru.
Car week doesn't look very thick body friendly.

 

[thejackal2]

that white stroller is the most obnoxious stroller I've seen and I'm in yuppie central neighborhoods quite often. Ostentatious as fuck. she really needs to understand less is usually more but that's the new money in her and the trailer trash.

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

I'm cackling like mad that she's quite literally DOUBLE the width of the old lady standing to her left. It's actually more comical than her filters granting that round ball that is her face a pointy little chin from all of her fat.

 

[Lidl Drip]

It's wild how often you see superfats like Alex go without a bra. Why do they do it? Is it because their boobs are indistinguishable from their other rolls anyway? It looks so uncomfortable and I imagine they get extremely sweaty too. Maybe they are just so uncomfortable all the time that it doesn't make a difference?

 

[beanbag in a hurry]

barrel jeans, drugstore powder foundations, bestie time!! | day in my life vlog​

 

[Blerg]

Her appearance shift from “nothing on my skin” one day to also barefaced next day is fun stuff. Her filter starts glitching around 10:30 - just me? She looks wider, heavier, and much more red and tired the next day. I thought her whole schtick was authenticity.

And now regret has set in. Typically I don’t have much to say about Alex but she really is… unique looking. Every time she goes sideways is a new surprise. She is so unnatural looking, and staring at her so closely tracking filter glitch was a mistake.

 

[katiB]

Shopping, shopping, and more shopping.

 

[often puzzled]

I love the candid shot. It's one thing to know that she's engaging in filter trickery, but it's another thing entirely to see the evidence. I knew that she's way fatter and sloppier than she appears in her own content, but I do forget how much fatter and sloppier she actually is.

Anyway, time for an Instagram dump.

Spoiler: Alex vs reality: "doop" shirt

tfw when you remember you have a baby:



Seems to be an Instagram-heavy brand (of course):



Vlog update, and what part of Alex am I even looking at?

Spoiler: hashtag mom life

Spoiler: Alex vs reality: tragic barrel jeans

Finally, a grid post-- out shopping with baby, of course. Mama's little shopping buddy!

Spoiler: grid post

Caption and first comments:



First image:



First image with all brands shown (notice that none of the tagged brands are things she got from Amazon);