Am I wrong about high school? - Does high school actually suck?

[Patrick Not-Star]

I got my GED and did some online community college, but my mom insists on helping me with it, and I have struggled massively as I know barely any school stuff.

my mom was constantly there monitoring me. so I could never have a relationship with a girl because she is constantly watching me.

Have you tried going to college in-person? That seems like the easiest way meet people.

 

[Irregardless]

I was overly sheltered, and I begged my mom to let me play sports, and she gave me some retarded rant about how only coaches kids get to play sports even though I lived in a tiny town and that team sports were bad because you had to rely on other people even though you work with other people in the real world, but my mom insists I start an online business. so I can stay with her forever and never have to work with other people. My mom has this stupid anti-people mindset, and it's killing me because I always feel great being with other people, but I basically never get the chance to interact with people on my own.

What made this worse was that I wasn't allowed to play online video games because people are bad, even though the little online gaming I played felt so amazing. Then my brother got caught talking to some random person on GTA, and my mom screamed her head off at him because OMG WHAT IF HES A KIDNAPPER? She's so irrational and stupid. my brother. Later, told me it was what sounded like a 12-year-old asking him about his car or something, but my mom thinks she was protecting me from the evil real world and people, even though I am so socially anxious and crippled from it because I'm afraid of her snapping at me like she does when I interact with the "wrong" people or make a mistake.

My mom would snap at me if I started blinking. She snapped at me as a kid if I cried, so now I'm afraid if she even sees me blinking. She yells, "QUIT YOUR BLINKING!" I remember one time when I was a kid I cried in Walmart, and my mom was pissed and said, OMG, insert her friend's name SAW. MY SON CRYING; HE EMBARRASSED ME because she's a narcissist who wants to pretend everything is perfect and that kids don't' cry for some reason. She made me cry because I asked for a bicycle or something, and she yelled at me, NO, which it's very understandable why that would upset a kid.

After this incident, she stayed pissed at me in the car while I was still upset, then my dad left, and he brought me a bottle of water. This meant so much to me because my dad actually cared about me, while my mom only cared about herself and how I made her look in front of people. She then later gave me a half-assed apology, and I pretended to accept it because my dad made me, but this is one of the many instances that made me hate my mom and her stupid way of life. There have been so many instances like this too, but my dad was always nice. While she was always the villain of my childhood, then people on KiwiFarms wonder why I'm so weird.

I was going to respond to the actual prompt, but then I read this post, and all I have to say is, buddy, you need to just enlist in the Air Force/Space Force. You are beyond fucked in your current situation, and I don't think you will be able to work your way out of it without a major shift in your environment, which again, I don't think you've been given the tools to figure out for yourself.

The reason I say Air Force/Space Force is because they're the most cushy of the branches with the least amount of bullshit to deal with day to day. They also have a lot of jobs that translate to real life, and you can do schooling while you're in.

So what you need to do, as soon as you possibly can, is to go to your local recruiter, find some job you want, literally anything is fine as long as it's not security forces (military cop), get the ASVAB for it, and tell them you're trying to leave. Then just fucking disappear one day. Once you're in, just try to be nice to people, don't be a piece of shit, and openly let people know "Hey just wanna let y'all know, I was severely sheltered so I'm not good with people and if I ever act weird, I'm sorry, I have no social skills" and if you say that people will for the most part accept you.

The way I see it, if you try to go about figuring your shit out in any other way you're gunna get fucked over by your mother and you don't have the capacity to overcome it, at least not currently.

Join the Air/Space Force, get the fuck out of your town, start your life.

 

[Prokhor Zakharov]

That video is crap. Yes, the food in HS cafeterias isn't exactly cutting edge fusion cuisine, but it had far more variety than what they said. We had tacos, etc... for hot food, and just about any kind of sandwich you could think of in the cold food line.

School feeling like prison is crap. It's nothing like that. We also had open lunch, which means you could leave campus to go down the street to the local Chinese, Pizza place, or Deli if you are at least a Sophomore or older for an entire hour.

Their bitching about competition is only if you are a fucking loser. Plus, after school activities/sports are a healthy thing to do and encourage socialization and fostering interests you have. We had so many after-school activities that you could choose to participate in it was almost too much. Also, if you didn't want to, you didn't have to participate in any of it and just do your own thing.

As far as my personal feelings on HS, it's a mixed bag. The positive is you get to interact with your peers, learn new things (even on subjects you have no interest in, which is somewhat a negative). If you're not a complete failure as a human you get to experience comradery, dating, etc... and hopefully you get to figure out what interests you in life. The teachers you meet that really inspire you can have a huge positive impact on your development into a happy, productive person.

The negatives are in the upper echelons of school academics is rather fierce competition which can be difficult sometimes, but overall, at least in my school, people maintained a friendly rivalry. People may be competing academically, but they were friends outside of that. The bullying, shit you get from other students, teasing, etc... is genuinely a soul-crushing experience. There is no denying that. The only way you avoid that is being one of the people that sets the social standards, and that's a very small group of very good looking people and athletes (as you can probably guess, I was not one of them). Another negative is when you get a crappy teacher that is out to get you. Some people say it doesn't happen, but I say with that it is absolutely possible. It will make your life miserable for the entire year that you are stuck with them. It also isn't unheard of far a bad teacher to poison an entire department of teachers against a student.

So, overall, I'd say that HS is an essential experience for everyone from the perspective of academics and socially. You learn a ton about how the basics of life work that you build on from that point forward, and hopefully it acts as the jumping off point for your further academic (which you build upon further if you go to university, everyone will tell you that CC is 13th and 14th grades, and they are right) and eventually work experience. Also, many people will say that people never really mature beyond HS, and in the working world you will find that is unfortunately true. What you have to deal with in HS is not terribly dissimilar in many ways from what you have to deal with in the working world, except they call it "office politics" rather than High School.

 

[オプセック]

My main gripe with my homeschooling was my lack of extracurriculars and sports, and on top of the fact these students struggle to learn anything in school, my other gripe with homeschooling was my lack of education, so now I am thinking maybe I was wrong about high school; maybe it's not as great as I thought it was, so does it actually suck, or is it better than homeschool?

Somewhat interesting perspective, but I pose one question: why exactly couldn't you do extracurriculars like sports on your own? If anything, you had more freedom to schedule things you really wanted to do, but apparently didn't, so you kinda got the school experience after all - but that's just my take, no trying to make you feel too down about it - maybe a little.

 

[Meth Dick]

High school was good for socializing. I don't remember shit from reading To Kill a Mockingbird, or Farenheit 451, or the Great Gatsby. I don't remember anything from alegbra, and the only class that didn't bore the shit out of me history class and shop class, but shop class had only me and my best friend and a teacher that was never there.
High school also helped me shake off that weird shit I was into in middle school. In my school there were no actual violent bullies besides maybe a shoulder check in the hallways or bumping someone against their locker "by accident". All fights were pretty much mutual. The "bullying" just came from ostracizing. You were weird, wore only black, read manga, and talked about edgy shit and anime? You weren't beaten up, but people would literally make plans in front of you and invite everyone except you, and give you dirty looks like you were retarded if you ever decided to talk to someone. If you tried to sit down with a group outside of the other weirdos, you either get stink eyed until you left or someone would make a snide comment and everyone would leave making you alone again.
How do I know? Because I was that weirdo. So I stopped being weird and awkward and going into 9th grade, the same class mates that "bullied" me were inviting me to hang out "Hey dude, glad to see you stopped dressing and acting like a fag, cool shirt bro" kind of shit.
High school only really fucking sucks if you're a weird obnoxious awkward asshole and you double down on it instead of realizing "Hey... maybe I'M the faggot here". The "bullying problem" people always liked to bitch about was nonsense. Not getting invited to someone's hang out spot after school because they aren't your friend isn't bullying. Avoiding weird assholes isn't bullying. Picking on/harassing/harming someone smaller than yourself or someone you know can't fight back IS bullying, and I've never seen an actual bully like that not get his shit rocked for it. Real life isn't a movie where the bully gets away with terrorizing the younger kids or is notorious on the playground. Point is, there's such a thing as constructive bullying, call it something different than that, but it's real, and it works.

---

*None of this applies to schools with a heavy nigger population, as standing up to one of those will only result in 5 more not even involved jumping on your head.

 

[Axiom.]

OP is a Teenage Dirtbag that never had a lady listen to Iron Maiden with him.

 

[SigueSigueSpergnik]

The problem is I have no way of driving on my own; my mom doesn't want me working and moving away, so I'm basically trapped with them.

The response that I intended to write was pretty much exactly the same as the one @Beautiful Border wrote, so I'm going to direct my replies there.

I'm sorry that was your experience growing up. I agree that she sounds controlling and overbearing.

I'm also sorry that you had to grow up with this. Nothing about your relationship with her sounds good. Fortunately, you, as a grown adult, get to choose how to handle that from here on out.

If it's any consolation, I do think you're overly romanticizing high school a bit. There's a reason "peaked in high school" is considered an insult. Most people don't look back on it all that fondly.

This. There are plenty of people who may have graduated from high school, but never really left it. It's sad to witness in person.

That said, assuming you're a legal adult you really aren't as stuck as you seem to think. If she still tries to control your life, then her only real power over you is your financial dependence on her. You're saying you can't have a job or a driving licence, but why? Because she says so? Are you even allowed to play online games yet? Okay, maybe I was taking the piss a little bit with that last question, but given how you describe your situation I'm genuinely not 100% sure.

While I'm 99.999% certain that I already know the answer to this question, I'm going to ask it anyway: have you confronted your mother about any of this?

By 'confrontation', I don't mean starting off yelling and screaming at each other, then coming to blows shortly thereafter. But you will need to be the one to broach the subject with her, because she doesn't want the status quo to change. There is no roadmap for how to do this, because only the two of you know the fine details of the problems that need to be addressed.

The fact you didn't go to high school isn't something that has to define the rest of your life unless you choose to let it. If you're in the same place in life now in 5, 10, 15 years, that's not because you were homeschooled. That's because you've made an active choice to keep living in the bubble your mum has created for you instead of flying the nest.

See the bold type for the key part of all of this. It's up to you to pull yourself out of the cesspit and get on with making a life that doesn't suck for yourself. Nobody else can do it for you.

One question: you mentioned having a brother. Do you have any other siblings, and are they / him treated the same way by your mother as you are?

 

[Prokhor Zakharov]

didn't you people have a catering firm running the cafeteria?

Ha. No. What kind of bougie crap are you talking about?

I was overly sheltered, and I begged my mom to let me play sports, and she gave me some retarded rant about how only coaches kids get to play sports even though I lived in a tiny town and that team sports were bad because you had to rely on other people even though you work with other people in the real world, but my mom insists I start an online business. so I can stay with her forever and never have to work with other people. My mom has this stupid anti-people mindset, and it's killing me because I always feel great being with other people, but I basically never get the chance to interact with people on my own.

You literally need to get as far away from your mother as possible, possibly as part of a federal relocation program so she can't find you. She clearly suffers from a severe mental illness and you are suffering for it. You need to get away ASAP. If you don't and let her continue to do this to you, you get what you deserve. As an adult you get to decide your future, if you choose the future where you are miserable, that's on you.

I have been a NEET my entire life, and it's made me depressed. I can't stand waking up every day without a reason to live.

The only reason to live is to reproduce. That's it. That's the fundamental basis of biological life on this planet. Humans can't escape that basic biological reality. Beyond that it really doesn't matter, in 100 years no one will know or care who you are or what you did unless you are famous or infamous for something quite significant. You decide what your reason is for continuing to live. If you feel you have no reason to live there are solutions to that problem as well.

I was going to respond to the actual prompt, but then I read this post, and all I have to say is, buddy, you need to just enlist in the Air Force/Space Force. You are beyond fucked in your current situation, and I don't think you will be able to work your way out of it without a major shift in your environment, which again, I don't think you've been given the tools to figure out for yourself.

This is honestly solid advice. The military is one surefire way to get the hell away from your mother and you don't have to worry about the logistics of food/housing/etc... because they take care of all of it.

 

[オプセック]

How do I know? Because I was that weirdo. So I stopped being weird and awkward and going into 9th grade, the same class mates that "bullied" me were inviting me to hang out "Hey dude, glad to see you stopped dressing and acting like a fag, cool shirt bro" kind of shit.
High school only really fucking sucks if you're a weird obnoxious awkward asshole and you double down on it instead of realizing "Hey... maybe I'M the faggot here". The "bullying problem" people always liked to bitch about was nonsense.

So, is there any personality left after that experience? Sounds pretty nightmarish, to only do things for the approval of others - almost like coercion... U.S. schools really are like that, huh? And then they dunk on the asians, because muh conformity.

 

[BradeRunna]

Teen angst bullshit is supposed to stop once you're out in the real world and free from mom and dad.

You are out on your own, yes?

OutoftouchBoomersayswhat?

One's opinion of highschool is entirely dependent on whether they went to public or private school. I feel bad for all the kids who went to public school because Dad really wanted that brand new fully loaded truck to flex on the neighbors or any sort of retarded white trash financial decisions.

Most people can't afford it. It has nothing to do with what someone's father spent money on or being "white trash". Private schooling is out of reach for the vast majority of the population which is why we have public schools.

Time to move out of mom and dad's place and get on with your life.

My knowledge of educational environments in the US is largely based around what I've seen in movies and anecdotes people have told me since I didn't go to school there, but living with parents past a certain point is bad for your own development as an independent human being.

It sounds as though you're past the age of majority - and no, I don't want to know your age. If this is the case, consider continuing with community college but go in person. This will help with some of the socialisation that you've missed. Use that year or two at community college to also find a part-time job and an out-of-area (and I mean well out of the area, like in another state) to attend. A quick search of teh gigglez suggests that there are support groups for people who have gone through forms of homeschooling, and that there are colleges and universities that actively seek out homeschooled students.

You need to decide for yourself if that's the right thing to do or not, but given that you already started down the community college route, it's at least a roughly-defined path with a logical progression.

And don't think that I'm unsympathetic towards your position; I'm not. It's clear that you're unhappy with how your life is now and you want to change it, and that's something I can very much relate to. But I'm not going to bullshit you or sugar-coat suggestions, because that's a waste of time for everyone involved.

That would be nice they could afford it.

if you havent kissed your highschool sweetheart after you came over to her house for "some homework" and had the best sex of your life that night. then you don't know what life is. you have nothing to live for.

Sure you did and my shits purple and smells like rainbow sherbert.

High school was fun, made great friends, had great teachers that taught me different modes of thinking that I still use to this day. And I don't know why people complain about the food, didn't you people have a catering firm running the cafeteria?

No. I went to public high school. All they served was the usual corporate contract slop you find in most public schools.

I have been a NEET my entire life, and it's made me depressed. I can't stand waking up every day without a reason to live.

Then go get a job. Then you can become another wagie statistic like 75-80% of alcoholism being work related. Also hit up a psychologist for some anti-depressants.

 

[Broseph]

I feel bad for all the kids who went to public school because Dad really wanted that brand new fully loaded truck to flex on the neighbors or any sort of retarded white trash financial decisions.

What the fuck are you talking about?

 

[オプセック]

One's opinion of highschool is entirely dependent on whether they went to public or private school. I feel bad for all the kids who went to public school because Dad really wanted that brand new fully loaded truck to flex on the neighbors or any sort of retarded white trash financial decisions.

It's really like that.
Imagine sending your kids to public school, because on this one issue - your kid's education - you suddenly turned communist and let the state do this:

 

[Meth Dick]

So, is there any personality left after that experience? Sounds pretty nightmarish, to only do things for the approval of others - almost like coercion... U.S. schools really are like that, huh? And then they dunk on the asians, because muh conformity.

It was more realizing that life was going to be really hard if I continued being an anti-social asshole. I wasn't a social butterfly in high school, but it beat being a loner that sat by himself everyday convincing himself it was because he's a "lone wolf that no one understands".
Plus I went from a school from 4-7 where emo and anime was popular to 8-12 in a school where those things made you an outcast, so I was pretty happy I no longer had to pretend I liked Naruto and Dragon Ball Z and shit to be "popular".

 

[オプセック]

Plus I went from a school from 4-7 where emo and anime was popular to 8-12 in a school where those things made you an outcast, so I was pretty happy I no longer had to pretend I liked Naruto and Dragon Ball Z and shit to be "popular".

Gotcha. Vaguely remember this pattern, even. I experienced it the other way around: Couldn't get into the anime and emo stuff in middle school and just caught my breath in the later stages.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole 2]

No. I went to public high school. All they served was the usual corporate contract slop you find in most public schools.

I did as well, it was just one that operated on normal municipal money but not part of the federal school system. So it was "private" in a sense but free. They just used the money they were given in a more efficient way.

 

[Prokhor Zakharov]

I did as well, it was just one that operated on normal municipal money but not part of the federal school system. So it was "private" in a sense but free. They just used the money they were given in a more efficient way.

Sounds like what we call around here "charter" schools.

 

[Duke Nukem]

High school was boring and gay even when participating in extensive extra curricular actives and all romanticization is based off media directed by 45+ year old perverts. Classes felt like being babysat and I don't recall learning anything profound or interesting. I look down on anyone who talks excessively about high school past the age of 20 because it lets me know you're a gay retard loser who can't grow up.

But I was prom king and quarterback back in the day! Acknowledge my superiority, NERD!

Really though, American public schools are a dump for the most part. Freaks and Geeks is more accurate to the reality of it than some bullshit musical movie, even if it was cancelled after a season.

I graduated college years ago and I barely think about it, I find it crazy that grown adults are still obsessed with high school

I'm just glad I never have to touch any of those institutions ever again.