- Joined
- Jun 9, 2019
Good luck conpadre. We'll wait for you to get back
Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.
- Thread starter PiggyPie
- Start date
Squid Bitch
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2020
clean my bathroom with me, shopping on amazon, & Indian food 
vlogmas day 14
Amber bitches about the postal service, gives Jade her gift, becomes the living incarnation of that "yo mama so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house" joke, eats take out, shows off more shit she wants to buy, cleans her bathroom, whines about her mentuhlz, and then eats again.
Today's gift:
Day 14 - Amber: Argstar Oversized Blanket Hoodie - $45.99
Amber's Total: $228.73
Combined Total: $522.57
Tldr: still boring, still fat, etc. etc.
Amber doesn't love sushi. Amber loves fried shit and rice, and the sushi she always gets just happens to have both.
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2016
"This isn't about me, this is about me."
Have you tried laying in a field of sunflowers and asking the heavens above "why me, God, why?"
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2019
Hey, I was thinking it. You just said it first
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2022
Damn, that is quite the feat! Good luck with everything @Diet Coke 4 Life ! I wish you well on your journey.
In related news; good christ that pic of Amber on the couch. She's just a melting lump of adipose tissue it's absolutely nauseating, I'd fuckin kill myself for less. She should take the advice.
In related news; good christ that pic of Amber on the couch. She's just a melting lump of adipose tissue it's absolutely nauseating, I'd fuckin kill myself for less. She should take the advice.
- Joined
- Oct 25, 2014
Is it a gunt then?
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2022
Why yes, yes they do.
Hmm.. quite the convienent excuse. j/k, good luck!
============
Lowlight Reel with Commentary. Today is Vlogmas Day 14, or December 13th in the Amberverse. Basically, this vlog is full of non-vlogmas type filler, over the top obnoxiousness, and 'Muh Mentulz'. We also get the pleasure (blech) of watching her ram ridiculous quantities of food into her Lie-hole.
Amber is frustrated because she spent a lot of money on presents and shipping to send 4 boxes of gifts to her friend. Two arrived and one is available for pickup, but the friend is saying that she's only received one. I guess Amber didn't think to pay for insurance, or have a signature required for what was likely worth several hundreds of dollars. Or, you know... as she ordered it all from Amazon, she could have just had Amazon ship it all directly to her friend to save money and have fewer steps in the shipping process. Or hey, maybe Amber's 'friend' is ripping her off. It's not like we even know who this is. 9 years of Amber's nonsense has proven that Amber doesn't have friends; she has enablers and users that she surrounds herself with if they benefit her in some way. Either way, Amber's stupidity is ruining her day.
Maybe I'm just getting worn down from this Vlogmas season, but I'm just getting the vibe that she's either exaggerating and embellishing (like she does with everything), or she's done something to fuck this up in order to create 'drama' to follow. We've watched her squander so much money over the years that no one is going to get emotionally invested over a few boxes of junk.
Jade's present is another one of those oversized fleece things to replace the black and white panda suit Amber bought her in summer (because these low quality jumpers start wearing out when you wash them). Jade bounces around like she's immitating Malcolm-Jamal Warner dancing in the opening credits of the early seasons of The Cosby Show. Amber films her from the neck down.
Aunt Tammie watches Amber's channel. I guess she was unsuccessful in reading 'Psychopath Free', like she boasted she was doing to protect herself from Amber's bullshit.
Amber gets stuck in the cardboard house and shrieks like a harpy. HEY! DON'T BREAK THAT - Your brother needs it (or you will, if you keep up with this spending). "It's hard to breathe in here". No it's not. You're having problems because you're fat and shrieking like a harpy. Amber gets herself stuck, and wears it like a sandwich board. She's bursting the seams of the house and decides it's a phenominal Halloween costume, then acts like an idiot. "Haydurs BACK OFF!!" Proof that NO ONE fat-shames and dehumanizes Amber as much as Amber fat-shames and dehumanizes Amber.
Amber's eating Buroni (Biryani). Amber's raving about all of the veggies, paneer, and tons of Indian seasonings... but let's be real: she likes it because it's like, two pounds of rice. Amber's hoovering so fast that I'm surprised she doesn't suck up the fork in the process. How many WW points is an entire pot of rice, Amber? Amber eye-fucks the camera every time she takes a hit. Amber also powers through some banana candy later on, and acts surprised that she likes it (despite having told us multiple times that she likes banana candy). She jump cuts, so I'm guessing that she polished off the entire bag and was worried that the unedited scene wouldn't look dainty enough.
Amber needs a new laundry hamper. So of course she's looking for ones that say "Laundry". Amber clarifies that she needs these cute hampers to hold her clothing so they will no longer live in a massive pile on her bathroom counter. She's really struggleen with this decision because of how they will match her decor, but she promises she'll pick one and after it's delivered in a few days she'll show it to us.
Amber decides to clean her bathroom cupboard.
VC ANDREWS GEMINI SERIES: Amber can't bring herself to read them. She asks us how to get out of reading slumps. The first step is to acknowledge that YOU HATE TO READ. You like the IDEA of thinking you're smart because you like to read. Just go back to listening to audiobooks, so you can boast about how you can 'read' 30 books in a month.
Advent Calendar has a plastic fish with a bell in it - but suddenly bells are okay for cats again because logical consistency has no place in the Amberverse. (LOGIC DOES NOT EXIST IN THIS DOJO!)
Amber talks about her anxiety attack earlier in the day while playing with PlayDoh on camera. She's having trouble 'cheering up', but she doesn't want to fail us. Anxiety attack when? Between the playhouse antics and eating 2 pounds of rice? Or maybe between shopping for more junk and rearranging your bathroom cabinet? I call bullshit, and that Amber is redefining 'anxiety attack' to mean she felt sad/nervous/uneasy, or less than joyous for some short time. Funny how these 'attacks' always occur when Amber is expressing mild frustration at having to a minimal amount of work (vlogging).
So... what? Within a handful of hours she was blathering about the presents, uppity and hysterical while getting her shelf stuck in a cardboard playhouse, had massive dopamine hits while she ate a fuck ton of rice, played with her hoard, got dopamine hits from shopping, flipped through the YA novels, and was mellow while playing with PlayDoh - but had an ANXIETY ATTACK squeezed somewhere in there? Nah, true attacks with hyperventilating and all of that are EXHAUSTING. And it takes quite a long while to normalize again due to the PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS suffered. It isn't just a mood swing where it happens and it passes.
I really think that Amber just expects to be extremely happy all the time, and as soon as she hits baseline or a little below, she gets all 'muh mentulz'. And she thinks her feelings are more intense because she can't figure out that everyone around her is an adult who has learned to REGULATE their emotional responses and act pleasant regardless of how they feel. You know, instead of letting their emotions control their behaviours like a toddler. Though in fairness, I will concede the point that considering how much she gives into instant gratification and how she spends her entire day seeking out CONSTANT dopamine hits, her lows and baseline levels are probably lower than normal. Still, all of that is HER FAULT and can be fixed by no longer acting like a glutton.
Amber gives the message to be kind because you don't know what other people are going through... yet she acts like a raging cunt on the regular and can't figure out that the vast majority of people are going through far more than she is.
SCRATCH TICKET UPDATE: Amber says she's going to keep the winnings instead of continuing to play because the scratch ticket thing is annoying people.
Oh, Diet Coke 4 Life won't be doing a proper full reeecap of this?? Uh... other shit happened. Some of these things included details about how she reorganized her bathroom cabinet, essentially responding to comment of the day with something along the lines of a polite 'fuck you, I do what I want', and her inability to figure out how to use today's PlayDoh plastic mold. Don't worry, you didn't miss anything important.
Maybe I'm just getting worn down from this Vlogmas season, but I'm just getting the vibe that she's either exaggerating and embellishing (like she does with everything), or she's done something to fuck this up in order to create 'drama' to follow. We've watched her squander so much money over the years that no one is going to get emotionally invested over a few boxes of junk.
Jade's present is another one of those oversized fleece things to replace the black and white panda suit Amber bought her in summer (because these low quality jumpers start wearing out when you wash them). Jade bounces around like she's immitating Malcolm-Jamal Warner dancing in the opening credits of the early seasons of The Cosby Show. Amber films her from the neck down.
Aunt Tammie watches Amber's channel. I guess she was unsuccessful in reading 'Psychopath Free', like she boasted she was doing to protect herself from Amber's bullshit.
Amber gets stuck in the cardboard house and shrieks like a harpy. HEY! DON'T BREAK THAT - Your brother needs it (or you will, if you keep up with this spending). "It's hard to breathe in here". No it's not. You're having problems because you're fat and shrieking like a harpy. Amber gets herself stuck, and wears it like a sandwich board. She's bursting the seams of the house and decides it's a phenominal Halloween costume, then acts like an idiot. "Haydurs BACK OFF!!" Proof that NO ONE fat-shames and dehumanizes Amber as much as Amber fat-shames and dehumanizes Amber.
Amber's eating Buroni (Biryani). Amber's raving about all of the veggies, paneer, and tons of Indian seasonings... but let's be real: she likes it because it's like, two pounds of rice. Amber's hoovering so fast that I'm surprised she doesn't suck up the fork in the process. How many WW points is an entire pot of rice, Amber? Amber eye-fucks the camera every time she takes a hit. Amber also powers through some banana candy later on, and acts surprised that she likes it (despite having told us multiple times that she likes banana candy). She jump cuts, so I'm guessing that she polished off the entire bag and was worried that the unedited scene wouldn't look dainty enough.
Amber needs a new laundry hamper. So of course she's looking for ones that say "Laundry". Amber clarifies that she needs these cute hampers to hold her clothing so they will no longer live in a massive pile on her bathroom counter. She's really struggleen with this decision because of how they will match her decor, but she promises she'll pick one and after it's delivered in a few days she'll show it to us.
Amber decides to clean her bathroom cupboard.
VC ANDREWS GEMINI SERIES: Amber can't bring herself to read them. She asks us how to get out of reading slumps. The first step is to acknowledge that YOU HATE TO READ. You like the IDEA of thinking you're smart because you like to read. Just go back to listening to audiobooks, so you can boast about how you can 'read' 30 books in a month.
Advent Calendar has a plastic fish with a bell in it - but suddenly bells are okay for cats again because logical consistency has no place in the Amberverse. (LOGIC DOES NOT EXIST IN THIS DOJO!)
Amber talks about her anxiety attack earlier in the day while playing with PlayDoh on camera. She's having trouble 'cheering up', but she doesn't want to fail us. Anxiety attack when? Between the playhouse antics and eating 2 pounds of rice? Or maybe between shopping for more junk and rearranging your bathroom cabinet? I call bullshit, and that Amber is redefining 'anxiety attack' to mean she felt sad/nervous/uneasy, or less than joyous for some short time. Funny how these 'attacks' always occur when Amber is expressing mild frustration at having to a minimal amount of work (vlogging).
So... what? Within a handful of hours she was blathering about the presents, uppity and hysterical while getting her shelf stuck in a cardboard playhouse, had massive dopamine hits while she ate a fuck ton of rice, played with her hoard, got dopamine hits from shopping, flipped through the YA novels, and was mellow while playing with PlayDoh - but had an ANXIETY ATTACK squeezed somewhere in there? Nah, true attacks with hyperventilating and all of that are EXHAUSTING. And it takes quite a long while to normalize again due to the PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS suffered. It isn't just a mood swing where it happens and it passes.
I really think that Amber just expects to be extremely happy all the time, and as soon as she hits baseline or a little below, she gets all 'muh mentulz'. And she thinks her feelings are more intense because she can't figure out that everyone around her is an adult who has learned to REGULATE their emotional responses and act pleasant regardless of how they feel. You know, instead of letting their emotions control their behaviours like a toddler. Though in fairness, I will concede the point that considering how much she gives into instant gratification and how she spends her entire day seeking out CONSTANT dopamine hits, her lows and baseline levels are probably lower than normal. Still, all of that is HER FAULT and can be fixed by no longer acting like a glutton.
Amber gives the message to be kind because you don't know what other people are going through... yet she acts like a raging cunt on the regular and can't figure out that the vast majority of people are going through far more than she is.
SCRATCH TICKET UPDATE: Amber says she's going to keep the winnings instead of continuing to play because the scratch ticket thing is annoying people.
Oh, Diet Coke 4 Life won't be doing a proper full reeecap of this?? Uh... other shit happened. Some of these things included details about how she reorganized her bathroom cabinet, essentially responding to comment of the day with something along the lines of a polite 'fuck you, I do what I want', and her inability to figure out how to use today's PlayDoh plastic mold. Don't worry, you didn't miss anything important.
TL;DR: (Possibly) manufactured drama over the presents she mailed. Amber wedges herself in the cardboard playhouse and dehumanizes herself. Amber hoovers food on camera. Amber fills her vlog with non-Christmas day-to-day tasks. 'Muh Mentulz' and 'Angzyatee attack'.
Oh, and true story. So I try to go as blind into this as possible. I don't look at the thumbnail, nor read the video title. I see the time stamp is new and go right into it with no preconceived notions (other than Amber being a lying liar who lies about lying). After that I write the TL;DR, and finally the first part. So I decided to be an asshole and add the absolute grossest freeze frame I could embed right here. I go through and select it, attach it, then realize it's the exact same thumbnail Amber used for this video. "YouTube picks my thumbnails" MY ASS.
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AboutTreeFiddy
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2022
Just a quick correction my good farmer - Amber NEVER had sex with Necky. After all those stories of a tired tongue (
yes I know just nasty as fuck) she finally admitted they never even got it on once). I can’t be bothered to post the video clip because, quite frankly, fat ass ain’t worth it.Amber is just trying to start drama in her comments section that’s all. She realizes Flobby Blobby has left her faaar behind in the drama department so just like her screeching a few videos ago while opening a gift she knows it’ll gaslight people. What amazes me is the downright sad level of simping her sycophants do in the comments section. Seriously for real you f’ng weirdos? Amber calls herself fat as fuck all the time but magically we’re not allowed? Bottom line Amber everyone hates you because you are fundamentally incapable of telling the truth even when you’re caught and backed into a corner.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2020
"Mental things is scary" = "so you guise..... jenny vlogmas had to go jenny bye bye..."
- Joined
- Oct 25, 2014
What about "muh lipedema"?
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2022
I really don’t know why she hasn’t necked herself for real, not just threatened to for manipulation tactics. Her whole existence is just fucking miserable. Small tmi but in my very small town a woman went under the knife for a gnarly back surgery and came to to discover all three of her children had been killed in a car accident. If I’d been her…there would be a whole script of narcotics disappear as soon as they were filled. I guess maybe I’m not as mentally strong as some. Please forgive my pontificating this morning, I just truly don’t understand how Hambeast can be TRULY happy with a life that I would consider literal torture.
dfranki723
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 6, 2019
I love how Fatty is letting the gift recipient chase up the location of the packages. God forbid the dumb bitch who sent them do it.
She's the only person I've seen pout when trying on earrings.
My fucking God. I can't battle through the incessant ''baybeeeeee''. This screeching slug would be such a nightmare neighbour. What an irritating pair of pigs.
She's the only person I've seen pout when trying on earrings.
My fucking God. I can't battle through the incessant ''baybeeeeee''. This screeching slug would be such a nightmare neighbour. What an irritating pair of pigs.
WorldEater
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2022
I'm sorry but what the actual fuck is this "tree"?
VirginMary
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2022
I think it's the gradual loss of function. Something acute happening will be more shocking and traumatizing, no time getting used to the new reality. I.e. that woman's children all suddenly dying as opposed to them dying one by one from say a chronic illness (still devastating but gives the person time to process and no "shock" in the end).
Amber has never had normal function (she was already fat as fuck as kid). She doesn't know what it is like to run, lift weights, not be out of breath. Gradually she has lost more and more of normal human functions and abilities. In the past (Crystal era?) she could dance around, even use the elliptical for up to 30 min. Now she can barely more in her apartment, is out of breath from just speaking, can't lift her arms above her head.
We all lose function with age, and most of us don't dwell on it because it's usually not life altering. I for one can no longer do back flips like I could in my teens. Doesn't really affect my daily life so whatever. Amber didn't start from being able to do back flips, she started from being able to walk around the block. So her still being able to walk at all is her whatever molment type of situation type of deal.
Also she is lazy, suicide requires effort.
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2018
A toddler throws a fit, screams and slams and maybe tells her parents she hates them. Does anyone think the toddler is going to haul off and kill herself? No, and that's the same reason Amber is never going to be a suicide risk. Maybe it's a theory of mind thing or maybe it's just being stupid, but I don't think Amber really processes concepts on a level deeper than the average Kindergartener.
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2022
I n
I’ve never thought of it from that perspective. You can’t miss something you never had to begin with I guess.
- Joined
- Jun 3, 2021
If we were to regulate the Internet with this in mind, I feel that making bank by being a 30something obese trainwreck sped would come into question too.
Careful what you wish for, fat fuck.
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2022
She's actually waffled back and forth about that 'one' time. I think right before she stopped talking about Becky, she was again trying to say that stuff happened. Though she has consistently acknowledged that during the Becky era:Just a quick correction my good farmer - Amber NEVER had sex with Necky. After all those stories of a tired tongue (
1) There was never any oral sex
2) There was never any penetration
3) Amber is a pillow princess (so never gave anything)
and as we have eyeballs and understand basic biology and physics:
4) There is no human female on the planet strong enough or with enough arms/hands to move that pannus and those redwood stumps out of the way, and Amber can't lie in several positions (on her back, for example) to shift the weight, or else the weight would keep her lungs from expanding. And then the hygiene and no showering for a year issue, but just typing the above was horrifying enough so no need to discuss THAT.
Amber's a prime example of the philosophical thought experiment of "Plato's Cave" (it's obviously not based on any true happening, based on the logical inconsistencies of the story, but it's a thought experiement in perception):
Plato's Cave is a story of a group of people who spent their entire lives in a cave. They lived in total darkness, except for a small amount of light that would shine on a cave wall above their heads. On this wall, they could see the silhouettes of absolutely horrifying monsters prowling around the opening of the cave. The inhabitants would spend most of their day watching the shadows of these beasts. One man eventually decided to try and leave the cave to confront the monsters. He painstakingly climbed the rockwall in total darkness, and managed to pull himself out of the opening of the cave, where he was immediately blinded by intense light. Once his eyes acclimated to daylight, he looked around and saw a vast and beautiful world around him. He looked towards the cave and saw people with puppets moving in front of the cave opening. The man realized that the 'monsters' they saw were nothing more than shadows of puppets. The man endured the danger of climbing back into the cave in total darkness to warn his people. Everyone refused to believe him, because what he saw didn't match their learned experience as to the true nature of the world. To them, nothing was beyond the cave other than monsters. No open space to explore, no light, etc. No one left the cave.
Amber is totally content with her life, because she has everything that there is to have in the world. She has constant access to processed food. And a living space that can be filled with objects to resemble the living spaces of influencers. And access to processed food. And social media at the tips of her fingers 24/7. And she has constant access to processed food. She always seems to find enablers who are willing to be her caretaker, and can buy whatever children's toy she wants. Oh, and did I mention the food? Amber sits with that standing desk in front of her so she can flop her tits on the table and cram that massive midsection underneath. Then she stares at herself through the viewfinder of a camers set to film her from the chest up, and convinces herself that nothing exists below her boobs. This is all she's ever wanted, and for the most part it's been all she's ever had. Nothing beyond this is REAL to her, so there's no point in seeking it out. And certainly no reason to MISS it or kill yourself over it. The only part that really bothers her about her life, is that people aren't buying her victim mentality bullshit anymore, and fewer people are kissing her shelf over what an amazing person she is.
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- Joined
- Mar 23, 2022
That’s
probably the best analysis of her behaviors I could have received actually. Very understandable and well put. Thank you
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2022
Regarding the community post, I think it would be different if Amber had a totally off topic hobby channel. If people were constantly commenting on her weight, I could see that being an argument because her channel wouldn't be about her as a person.
But obviously that's not the case.
She makes content about her lifestyle, her diet, trying on clothes, and I think that inherently puts focus on her body and weight.
She's the one that volunteers that she doesn't brush her hair for weeks on end.
She's the one that talks about how she's binged or how much fatter she's gotten.
She's the one that does all of this.
Even then, if she was happy with the people that support her, or if she was putting a lot of effort into her videos, it shouldn't matter.
it wouldn't matter because the passion for her content would completely outweigh anything.
I have seen some butt ugly 'beauty influencers' on Instagram, but they have a different mindset, at least on the outside (where it matters on social media imo). They focus on the support, and if they get mean comments, they quietly delete them or let them stay up because it doesn't bother them.
I don't get how this is a completely foreign topic to her. Then again, ignorance is bliss and she's always happier than a pig in a pile of shit when she thinks she's making a good argument like this lmao.
But obviously that's not the case.
She makes content about her lifestyle, her diet, trying on clothes, and I think that inherently puts focus on her body and weight.
She's the one that volunteers that she doesn't brush her hair for weeks on end.
She's the one that talks about how she's binged or how much fatter she's gotten.
She's the one that does all of this.
Even then, if she was happy with the people that support her, or if she was putting a lot of effort into her videos, it shouldn't matter.
it wouldn't matter because the passion for her content would completely outweigh anything.
I have seen some butt ugly 'beauty influencers' on Instagram, but they have a different mindset, at least on the outside (where it matters on social media imo). They focus on the support, and if they get mean comments, they quietly delete them or let them stay up because it doesn't bother them.
I don't get how this is a completely foreign topic to her. Then again, ignorance is bliss and she's always happier than a pig in a pile of shit when she thinks she's making a good argument like this lmao.