Is this Big Al, accepting the role life planned for her? Eating herself to death on YT for all to see? Was it really 5K calories? Does she blame "food addiction" or the BED she doesn't have? Will she tease the supportive "gf" for us? Let's find out in what is sure to be yet another thrilling entry from one of the most preeminent filmmakers of our time - possibly of all time!
Just over eight minutes, including that stupid intro, plus her knocking her phone off the counter as the cold open. Keeping consistent with that low effort vibe, I get it.
Day 29: 494.6
Day 30: 496.4
Still under 500 pounds. Never fear, gorls, she's reverting to her true form now that she is safely not alone, having moved in the "gf". Unwashed poop bun, greasy face, no makeup. Keep changing back to who you really are, Fatty.
Woke up at noon, "gf" woke up at 11. I'm guessing that trip out really was to the liquor store, besides McD's. Good call. Claims it's not usual for either of them, and she herself "averages" getting up at about 9 AM. I think I'm going to need a drink after this shitfest.
"This is just, like, one of them laid backs..." THOSE, you fucking tard.
Wants to show us what she eats when she's "off track" - i.e., eating the shitty, sodium-filled, greasy, high calorie, sugar-laden food she really wants instead of those fucking salads, which can go right to hell (because even skinny people don't have enough time on this earth for that bullshit, amirite?).
Woke up "actively today because it's Sunday" (WTF?) "and the lord is telling me to eat what I want" (told ya!) "and today is his day!"
Now, I know a lot of people believe Big AgnosticLynn when she claimed to be agnostic, but I have always chalked that up to more of her usual stream of lies. I'm not going to go into all that; I'm simply going to say that once again, what she eats in this video is not her fault. She got a message from the lawd gawd, y'all, to do what I said, and go hog wild. Thanks, sky fairy, for giving Big AccountabilityLynn another hall pass! She says she's just kidding, but nah - any excuse will do.
Anticipation:
Goes on to ruin the "just kidding" by overdoing it with the lawd, just like the "gf" hype. Speaking of that oh so supportive "gf", why is she not whispering sweet nothings into your ear, telling you this is not the right thing to do, and oh here, let me fix you a real meal, since I'm so "obsessed" with you? Oops, sorry, I thought for a minute it was a real "gf" and not a placeholder just to have someone else in the apartment so you won't be alone. My bad!
"I am just actively making the choice that I'm not on track". Listen here, Fatty: what you eat is ALWAYS an "active" choice. Nobody is holding you down and prying open that maw of yours to stuff burgers and giant Sonic shakes down it. You're not being forced to eat like shit.
Going to back on track "tomorrow". Sure. Will she go back to the futility of WW? She doesn't know, but I do: nope. Not until this cycle has completed its orbit around her giant shelf ass.
Complains about being stuck int he 490s "for-ev-er" and thinks her body just won't let her lose more weight. This is as stupid and wrong and as much a lie now as when you complained about some mysterious medical condition back in the Krystle Era that prevented you from losing weight like the rest of the fat fucks do when they actually want to lose weight. YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL.
Claims not to know what "self-sabotaging" even means. Sure, gorl. Sure, you don't. Just another excuse to go sit on your fat ass and do "research" instead of going to the fucking gym that is right in your apartment complex. "How does one sabotage themselves without realizing it?" For one, they wake up "actively" because it's Sunday and go stuff themselves with shitty food. HTH! Get on with the eating already, bitch.
"It is what is it" count: 1
Blah blah tuned her out when she's explaining shit to us that we already know, rambling. Blah blah, if you're on a weight loss journey, don't let this video get you down. Like anyone takes any sort of weight loss journeeeee advice from you, Fatty. I guess actively is the word of the day, because I think that's a count of four. I really hate her "Question question? No. Question question? Yes." shit.
Yay, food!
Chocolate peanut butter chip greek yogurt bar from Yasso: 130 calories
Full on footlong turkey cheese sub from somewhere she didn't name, some kind of loaded fries: I did a little detectiveness and think this is from Charleys: Large turkey cheddar melt is 1130, ultimate gourmet fries are 790
Starbucks chai tea, some "mandolin" cakes (LOL), one of her faves - fuck off, Big Al, we know everything in their case is one of your faves: 380 (with whole melk) for the chai, 230 for the madeleines
Chocolate chip cookie, also from Stabucks. VO: "OMG, that sounds SHTOO good right now!" Guess you should have ordered more than one, then, Lardass: 360 calories
Sonic, again! Slushee, fuck you with your "obsessed" shit, blue coconut with cherry. It looks like a cup of dog diarrhea: 420 calories plus another 60 for the cherry
Claims the slushee takes her a couple hours to drink
Arby's meal of large diet coke (of course), gigantic curly fry (650 calories), mac & cheese (tastes, does the orgasm face) (510 calories), crispy fish sandwich, says it looks good, but it doesn't, tastes, more orgasm shit (570 calories)
Claims she doesn't like to eat all that shit on video. Don't tell lahs, you mendacious cunt. Stop acting like you haven't filmed bullshit like this on camera before.
She's just appalled, y'all, and is so disgusted with herself for eating 5121 calories (my total for her day: 5230 calories). You do not have an eating disorder, and you are not addicted to food. Stop trying to justify that you love to eat and hate to exercise, and just tell us all to go fuck ourselves, you'll do what you want. You are a lazy, entitled pig with disordered eating, not some cute, quirky thing with every malady in the alphabet soup world wrong with you. Point blank, period, as you would say.
Ends on that note, doesn't even bother with outro.