Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

Are you looking forward to seeing Jade's face on camera?

  • Yes

    Votes: 550 15.6%
  • No

    Votes: 349 9.9%
  • I don't care

    Votes: 2,620 74.5%

  • Total voters
    3,519
While KF was down I had a little weigh-in line graph type moment.
Click the thumbnail to see a legible full-sized image.

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Here's a plot of Amber's General Cuntiness:

exponential-growth-png-3.png
 
My take on her last video:

She bought lunchables. Those are either for kids to bring to school or people to bring to their workplace. Why does a 31-year-old woman buy these? Is it so hard to buy deli meats, cheese, and crackers separately, or is it due to pure laziness?

She keeps bringing that she lost 80 pounds in the last 8 months. If my math is correct, this means that she lost an average of 10 pounds a month for 8 months. Impressive. However, this means that she would have been 572.4 pounds in June 2021. Data shows that it was her 2020 New Year starting weight. Her 2022 New Year starting weight was 505 pounds but she was 490.4 pounds on December 15, 2021. Something does not add up and it is Amber. She is still eating 5,000 calories per day and this is why her weight is not going down.

Her weight was 495.4 pounds on February 9. I guess she is still Weight Watcher. She says that she will eat like a normal person, have normal serving sizes, listen to her body, eating only when she is hungry, but not binging. She is addicted to takeaway food and while she could choose low calories option, she quips “what’s the fun in that”. I guess we know why she is 500 pounds.
 


Same shit she parroted about WW and Jenny Creg.


That stupid frown gets even bigger!
I tried this mimicking this and it actually hurt. Probably gave me extra wrinkles just from the strain.
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rozdisapproves - Copy.jpg

Except Roz was infinitely more talented, likeable, and successful.

"no guuuuys, I haven't lost weight because of canceeeer, I've lost it on my ownnnnnn! On the contrary, my cancer was making me GAIN weight!"

Says noted physician DrLynn Medicine Woman.

Is Hamber putting out religious content? The fuck is with these posts?

Beats the hell out of me, but that shit needs to be private. If you're gonna read Matthew, read 6:5-8 about keeping it to yourself.

Also, anyone who genuinely wants this cunt to be successful is ridiculous. She's not a troubled obese woman, she's a piece of shit. Success for her would mean she'd become even more of a nasty twat to everyone and everything in her life.

Success should be for those who deserve it, not this gargantuan retard.

There's a reason her favorite movie is Forrest Gump.

That stupid frown gets even bigger!
I tried this mimicking this and it actually hurt. Probably gave me extra wrinkles just from the strain.

You need more fat. That combined with gravity will give you the same downturned lines to make your frowns just like Hambers and help you to your goal of hideousness!

What's that? about $16.00 on 5 lunchables that she'll probably eat in one go? Even with price increases at the grocery store these days that's still enough money to buy enough produce and cheap meat to make a gigantic pot of stew or soup that would last a week. Which is something that a lot of people are having to do while getting completely ass-fucked by inflation right now.

I was thinking along those same lines. She could spend less and just buy a box of crackers, sliced cheese, and a whole salami. But then she'd have to work to put together a plate: open the cracker box and pull out some crackers, put a couple slices of cheese on a plate, slice off a few rounds of salami, and well, she just hates "cooking", guise. If there is one sign of just how fucking lazy we are as a people, it's that these damn things exist.
 
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My take on her last video:

She bought lunchables. Those are either for kids to bring to school or people to bring to their workplace. Why does a 31-year-old woman buy these? Is it so hard to buy deli meats, cheese, and crackers separately, or is it due to pure laziness?

She keeps bringing that she lost 80 pounds in the last 8 months. If my math is correct, this means that she lost an average of 10 pounds a month for 8 months. Impressive. However, this means that she would have been 572.4 pounds in June 2021. Data shows that it was her 2020 New Year starting weight. Her 2022 New Year starting weight was 505 pounds but she was 490.4 pounds on December 15, 2021. Something does not add up and it is Amber. She is still eating 5,000 calories per day and this is why her weight is not going down.

Her weight was 495.4 pounds on February 9. I guess she is still Weight Watcher. She says that she will eat like a normal person, have normal serving sizes, listen to her body, eating only when she is hungry, but not binging. She is addicted to takeaway food and while she could choose low calories option, she quips “what’s the fun in that”. I guess we know why she is 500 pounds.
If she is going to continue to insist we use her highest weight for losses, then I believe we should use Youtube Starting Weight (330lbs?) as the reference point.

As of week commencing 14th February Amber is off track with a net gain of 165.4 lbs.

Also, in reply to @Situation Type Deal Gorl above, you know she thinks organising a smorgasbord/meze is grueling hard work for her. Last time she had to put party food onto plates she was extremely proud of herself. "I did that" she exclaimed.
 
Colgate toothpaste ("you know how I raved over Sensodyne last year because I became obsessed with brushing my teeth!" oh you're so quirky! (plz die))
I hope she really did become obsessed with brushing her teeth. She hasnt gone to a dentist in forever cause she cant fit in the chair, and if she really has sensitivity issues now that's hilarious. Shes 30 and its only going to get worse.
Eat that yasso ice cream gorl, its yogurt so its hulthy.
That stupid frown gets even bigger!
I tried this mimicking this and it actually hurt. Probably gave me extra wrinkles just from the strain.
View attachment 2984260
View attachment 2984262
Her lip/mouth area lowkey scares the shit out of me. I cant stop noticing that she always has this weird thing about wanting bigger lips and using her mouth as a point of expression. Shes got these weirdly thin whispy lips but she tries so hard to emote with them especially after getting some form of lip gloss or lipstick. I think her mouth scares me because ive seen so many things just disappear within it so easily. She just opens her mouth and then shits just gone. The food agression at the gaycare put that in perspective for me, amber is a fucking monster.
 
If she is going to continue to insist we use her highest weight for losses, then I believe we should use Youtube Starting Weight (330lbs?) as the reference point.

As of week commencing 14th February Amber is off track with a net gain of 165.4 lbs.

Also, in reply to @Situation Type Deal Gorl above, you know she thinks organising a smorgasbord/meze is grueling hard work for her. Last time she had to put party food onto plates she was extremely proud of herself. "I did that" she exclaimed.
How could anyone forget that masterpiece?

Screenshot 2022-02-14 11.28.04 - Copy.png

"I did that myself, and I'm proud..."

The sheer beauty of the composition gives me chills. Spacing. Coordination. Feng shui-ness. It's a goddamn piece of fucking art, y'all. And "muh OCD" out in full force!

She probably had to open as many as one whole package of sliced salami to dump on that plate. That would account for her labored breathing when she's introducing us to all the food for her, Becky, the boys, and their guests, the double Ds.
 
I won't go into the definition of insanity and all that shit but it does stand to reason that most people would look at the results and make changes if it's not working for them.
Oh God, do you actually believe the definition of insanity is repeating behavior and expecting different results?
Just because something is repeated on social media does not make it true.
 
If she is going to continue to insist we use her highest weight for losses, then I believe we should use Youtube Starting Weight (330lbs?) as the reference point.
The start of year claimed weight and end of year goal weight for Fatty.
Video date Weight Weight goal for year end
Nov 18, 2013 368.0
Jan 1, 2014 377.0 299.8
Jan 2, 2015 385.2
Jan 8, 2016 450 330
Dec 29, 2016 467.2 385
Jan 2, 2018 488.6
Jan 7, 2019 560
Jan 2, 2020 572.4* 445
Jan 27, 2020 519.6
Jan 7, 2021 526.8 426.8
Jan 3, 2022 504.6 350

It is easy to see when she is lying about her weigh; she doesn't use decimal places. So when she claims she was 569 and only 3 pounds away from her highest weight, it's a lah. She would make a point of mentioning the point zero.
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WTF would we call her that, Hamber, when it isn't her name?
Always amazes me when people think Fatty is some kind of Machiavellian master strategist. She is nothing more than a lazy sped who given a choice, always chooses the easiest option. The same way she takes on the mannerisms and speech patterns of people she is near, she chooses the name from her latest fave Jewtuber. I is shooketh.
 
She bought lunchables. Those are either for kids to bring to school or people to bring to their workplace. Why does a 31-year-old woman buy these? Is it so hard to buy deli meats, cheese, and crackers separately, or is it due to pure laziness?
My guess is it’s an attempt at portion control, which is immediately made futile because she‘ll probably hoover up all five packages, one right after the other.
 
My guess is it’s an attempt at portion control, which is immediately made futile because she‘ll probably hoover up all five packages, one right after the other.
Even so. Those have over 300 calories and close to 1,000 mg of sodium. If you are on a 1,600 calories diet, why would you waste 20% of your calories on something like this? But then, we are talking about Amber here.
 
She's building herself a whole Potemkin village (inside of which resides a Kabuki theater).

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No, you did not, LiarLynn. " We have became"? OK, GrammarLynn. And the new "gf" is exactly the same person as the original "gf". I swear, if we could convert her lies to energy, we could power a small country on the results.
 
I just saw this video from February 8th that I don't think anyone has posted in the thread. The song choices and edits are pretty good. I actually didn't recognize all of these quotes, and I found it much more entertaining than ALR's recent videos. If you needed any more evidence that blubber on the brain makes you stupid, here it is.

 
She has put out all those... answers to those asks. So. Probably.
Question is, who here is brave enough to go in
You gimme the eyebleach and cover me with a full-body condom and a full handle of Jack Daniels... reporting for duty, sir!

Cover me! I'm going in! Spread my ashes at the Cheesecake Factory if I don't make it out alive.

Somebody gotta take one for the team and fall on that grenade. After seeing some Chinny's OF shit and miraculously surviving behind enemy lines without an anuresym or gouging my eyeballs out with a spoon, I can does this! I've seen worse in a Tijuana whorehouse.
 
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