Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

Are you looking forward to seeing Jade's face on camera?

  • Yes

    Votes: 550 15.6%
  • No

    Votes: 349 9.9%
  • I don't care

    Votes: 2,620 74.5%

  • Total voters
    3,519
At this point, I’m just hoping that Fat Al becomes so comfortable with her AAVE in private that she says something unforgivable in public and we get an old school cancellation. She’s already pushing the boundaries.
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Jade's gone to her boyfriend's house for the week leaving amber to order 2300 calories of sugary shit from dunkin doughnuts unchecked. (2 bags for 4 drinks when a drink carrier fits 4 drinks... what dozen or so doughnuts were in the other bag ms. 503 pound queen of the trolls?)

I like how its obvious when amber is mad at wifey leaving her in the house alone so she does a very public binge as a guilt trip "If you had stayed home with me I wouldn't be destroying myself right now JADE!"
 
I like how its obvious when amber is mad at wifey leaving her in the house alone so she does a very public binge as a guilt trip "If you had stayed home with me I wouldn't be destroying myself right now JADE!"
Kinda like how dogs will chew up the furniture if left alone too long?

How much jewelry is she wearing at the beginning of that video? Gold chains to her naval when?
 
Maybe it’s just me, but if I was at home with my significant other and they were like “I’m going to order 4 xtra large drinks from this place just to try them” id be like why? Like maybe if they ran some kind of taste test channel or page but it’s just so unnecessary and stupid but then again it’s amber.

What do you guys think is the most amount of times she’s ordered from ubereats in one day? I think 7. This woman had a Diet Coke delivered to her.
 
Maybe it’s just me, but if I was at home with my significant other and they were like “I’m going to order 4 xtra large drinks from this place just to try them” id be like why? Like maybe if they ran some kind of taste test channel or page but it’s just so unnecessary and stupid but then again it’s amber.

What do you guys think is the most amount of times she’s ordered from ubereats in one day? I think 7. This woman had a Diet Coke delivered to her.
7 times in few hours she's awake before everything closes down. She gets up between 3-5pm. So that doesn't leave a lot of time to order, which is why I think she orders so much each time. She can't run out at 2am.
 
Anyone who said she would binge until her appointment was right. She's ramming down those calories as fast as possible with the expectation she'll lose it all once she is on the outpatient program.

Problem is, she will still have to rely on herself to do the hard work. I see the 600s on the horizon.
Also ordering a bunch of sugary drinks is a great idea for her. Yaaaas drink those calories gorl, you'll be hungry 30mins later.

Large Dragonfruit Strawberry Refresher:
170 Calories (74%RDI)
37grams sugar

Large Peach Passionfruit Refresher:
180 Calories (78%RDI)
39grams sugar

Love that.
 
They say the ones who talk abt their sex life the most are getting it the least.
This is 100% true in Amber’s case. Why is she so hellbent on telling us she’s having sex. It’s weird.
Choose your adventure.


or


Not seen this done yet so let's have a go at reacting to the latest snapchat answers. I refuse to include any sexual content as I can't be fucked with her LARPing as the cringe lad character from an adolescent comedy series.

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Nutritionlynn graces us. It'd be far more believable if you demonstrated an understanding of units of measurement. Granted, you can read but you still fail to understand. Reading them for the best part of two decades hasn't stopped you becoming morbidly obese.


I love food that has only 100 sodiums. Or 4 fats. Or any other total non-context numbers.

Not Ambers dainty spurs. Ambers spurs are unique and special.

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Is she answering like a lawyer? As isn't this technically correct? I'm sure it was Destiny.

As others have noted, Fatty, you surely have. It's on video, like your lies.


Well, that's a bit of a u-turn. So it doesn't require surgery yet..

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FUCK, I said I wouldn't do this but this is interesting. The person asking the question did not specify which year, but Amber did. January 15 2021.
Did she make it up on the spot? Outright lie? Or is she have so little going on that she can't keep track of the day, month or year?

This was the Becky Era, and I am quite sure the mindblowing sex was nonexistent.


Pathological.

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Could you point to this country on a map? Name which continent it's in? Which of the many islands do you plan to visit? Which of the three seas would you be overlooking?

Forget it, Laying in bed with grease may be more achievable.


I can just imagine her in Greece, huffing and puffing as they walk everywhere. She's exhausted and starveeeen, so they find a restaurant and sit down, waiting to be served.

"No chips and dip?" Big Al sniffs. "In America, they would have already brought out the free stuff."

She starts looking at the menu. Fortunately, it has pitchers so she doesn't have to strain her brain figuring out how to say sometihing.

"Ewwwww. Black spaghetti? And what's a dole-a-mahd-ayy? Grape leaves? Whuuuut? Moose-acka? Bayyybuh," she whines. "Can't we just go somewhere for a twenty piece nugget?

The waiter points to the keftethes as a suggestion. "Beef and lamb," he says.

"LAMB?" she screeches. "No nonononono."

The waiter tries again. "Octopus?"

Big Al squeals. "You're a sociopath. Let's go, baybuh!" She tries to storm out dramatically, but it takes her three tries to just stand up. After swaying for a moment because of the exertion, she waddles out the door, googling on her phone to find a McDonald's.


However, my point stands more than amber does.

If Big Al really were into poetry, she'd actually study the farms. There's no lack of poetry here.

I’ve just noticed that she also says ‘wolnt’ instead of won’t.

Great, something else to listen for as she mangles the English language.


PointingLynn is one of my favorite Lynns. "Over there is the case of diet coke I'm going to finish over two days."


That's the spirit. Hamber! Eat like it's your fucking job!






WTG, Fatty, you lost one pound this year and you quit yet another thing - because if you're not doing your usual performative weight loss routine in public, you sure as hell are not doing it privately. 54 days. Loser.

I really can't stand the Any's brand foods.
 
Oh we're just fucking struggle breathing out in the open now, arent we.

~the 500s are so much different~
Muh breathing
Muh weight loss
My laygs
Being swoleen

Oh sweet jesus shes really just leaving all this in? Is it just me or is she struggle breathing more than normal?
 
Well well well, if it isn't my old nemesis Big Al, the losiest loser that ever lost. Not weight, mind you. Every single challenge she's ever set for herself.

Feb 18th weighin: 496.4
Says that since starting Noom three days ago, she is down 1.6pounds, and she feels "really good about that". About what? That it's equal to nothing to do with real weight loss and instead is just a normal days fluctuation or probably what would be to you a small shit? OK.

Says she is logging all the calories she eats, but she's not going to show us what those calories are, presumably because we'd see she is indeed eating like shit.
SUPER busy, guise, because she has to pack to go to "a friend's house" for a sleepover to spend the weekend. However will you manage to get packed with your bursting at the seams life, Big Al? Given that you do nothing and go nowhere in general (both metaphorically and liiiiidurally) I figure it's got to be super easy, barely an inconvenience. She's also been cleaning up a bit. LOL

She's taking the scale with her. Claims the "gf" weighs in every day. Also claims the shirt she's wearing didn't fit her before but it does now.

Sitting in the car with Twinkie while the "gf" pops into a convenience store to get an energy drink, and naturally big Al needs to have a snack for the drive. And a diet coke, to cancel out all the terrribleness that is the snack she's going to hoover. Hey, you know what make a good snack? A nice complementary serving of a balance of protein and carbs. Something like a cured meat - salami maybe, or perhaps pepperoni - maybe a little cheese, and a few crackers to give it all a little textural mix. Imagine if something like that existed!

It's now Feb 20. Of course she did not vlog while at the "friend's" house. She also did not weigh herself. That's the spirit! Of course you can skip days! You only said 100 days of weighing in. you didn't specify WHICH days! With a logical mind like that, I bet you could go to law school and teach all those folks a thing or two, LawyerLynn.
She had "such a good weekend," she says, as she does that stupid pinching motion with her fingers and thumb, like she's fucking Italian. As the weekend was ending, she told herself, "I wish I woulda filmed." Says she didn't have permission to film inside her "friend's" home, so didn't weigh in, even though the only thing that would have been filmed in the scale, so none of that makes any sense, as usual.

You see, Big Al, I think when you are finally piled up on your deathbed, the last things going through your mind are all the "I wish I woulda" molments you've had in your life, thanks to your insistence on being a deathfat.

They went places - like the mall. Says she thoroughly enjoyed it. Of course you did. Says they "didn't feel" like going to the grocery, so they did InstaCart and it will be here any second now. Such dedication!

Feb 20th weighin, complete with excuses already (full meal, being swoleeeen in the car, drinking alcohol this past weekend, etc.) so she can set herself up for gaining: 500.6.

Stupid grocery haul. Already peeled garlic (lazy). baby carrots, already chunked pineapple and watermelon, a pint of Haagen-Dazs - which she is going to eat tonight "It is what it is." No, what it is is someone who is going to a shrink for an eating disorder they don't have thinking they'll o a last hurrah and stop their gobs with shit food before they see said shrink. And stop fucking saying "it is what it is". no, it is not. You're choosing to eat that entire pint by yourself, just as you're choosing to eat a sodium bomb of ramen. Skipping the rest of the groceries, she won't be eating the oatmeal or all those fruits. Also bought wet ca food and PointerLynn shows us the case of diet coke, which she also should not be drinking.

It's now the next ay, and she shows us two big Dunkin' Donuts bags. Go hog wild, Big Al! Blathering about the "Refreshers" DD has, and they are going to try all four of them. She's going to try them on camera and "obviously" the "gf" will not. She hates them all, especially theone with coconut, even though she claims to like the other two. Since she isn't having a foodgasm over the other two, we know that's a lie.

She finished her expert laygo piano, She's now moving on to a lego wall art map of the world.

It's now Feb 22. She is no longer going to show her weighins on camera (aka she is not going to be weighing herself at all), so the 100 days is over), because she's at a bad spot with her "eating disorder". This is no different than the phase you went through where you mentioned your (nonexistent) bipolar disorder every five fucking seconds. Now it's all eating disorder this, eating disorder that. Still attempting to shove responsibility off on anything or anyone but yourself. She is so happy that after nine years of people telling her to seek professional help (and her telling all of them to go to hell because she "knows what works" for her) she finally got help. So we're in the honeymoon phase of the cycle: Big Al talks to doctors, even tough they do not understand nutrition like she does, or anything about her incredibly unique "eating disorder". Claims dieting is making her eating disorder worse. No, that would be you, Big Al.

Feb 22 weighin: 503.4

Says that is horrible and she feels it. Was talking to the "gf" about it - it's so weird. Apparently there's some magical line or fairy dust or possibly - probably - a good bit of stupidity going on here, because when she crosses into 500+ pound territory, even something as simple as 503, her breathing gets worse, her layygs are super swolleeen, it's harder to walk. Nope. That is all in your head. There's no significant difference to a morbidly obese fatty like yourself if they weigh 495 versus 505. That shit is all in your head.

It's the next day, and she's having a gross Amy's microwave meal. BTW, she says, she thinks some people are confused because she said her appointment was for next month, and people thought that meant the appt was a month away. In reality the appt is in a couple of weeks, and she is excited about that.

It's laundry day. She's done three loads of laundry. And guess who's ben reading the farms? That;'s right. (Cued as usual)


She makes it a point to tell us she's washing the sheets from the bed.

After that, she hopes we enjoyed it and she will see us in the next one.

Stupid outro.

TK;DW/DR: Big Al continues to pretend that she has friends, spends time on expert laygos, has an appointment to talk to a shrink, seems to be doing a last hurrah tour before her appointment with the shrink; does laundry, tells us she won't be talking about her weight any more to YT.f
 
Lego Atlas seems a bit of a pointless project. Amber could represent her entire travel history with one single Lego stud.

Is this Phase 2 of the cycle? With a transition into Phase 3 just a couple of weeks away after the introduction appointment?

I believe the next time we hear anything about her weight, she'll be at least 520lbs. She's very comfortable with the current situation and Jade seems to not care as much now. This could be the path to 600lbs and I estimate that Phase 1 of the cycle is probably penned in for January 2023.
 
I believe the next time we hear anything about her weight, she'll be at least 520lbs. She's very comfortable with the current situation and Jade seems to not care as much now. This could be the path to 600lbs and I estimate that Phase 1 of the cycle is probably penned in for January 2023.

Might be time for a new poll? 520 Seems like an attainable goal for the weight loss qween.
 
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