Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

Are you looking forward to seeing Jade's face on camera?

  • Yes

    Votes: 550 15.6%
  • No

    Votes: 349 9.9%
  • I don't care

    Votes: 2,620 74.5%

  • Total voters
    3,519
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I love how she doesn’t even try to hide her narcissism anymore. Most people with camera experience quickly break the habit of staring into the viewfinder and instead look at the lens (so it looks more natural to the viewer). But this narcissistic butterbeast just can’t stop staring at herself for even 2 seconds to get a thumbnail.
 
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Way to wipe out that goodwill from the "I'm going to outpatient..maybe" video, Big Ham.

I really fucking hate that stupid pinching thing she does. Who the fuck did she watch who does that?

"Calories are accounted for." Big fucking deal. It's almost a thousand fucking calories that a) you should not be eating and b) will likely join five other thousand calories meals today.

"These are, like, one of my most favorite things from Taco Bell." - Get real, bitch, there isn't anything on that damn menu you don't like and consider your "favorite". Any food you like to eat is your "favorite".

"For one of them is 170 calories." - Her mangling of the English language continues unabated. There's a word EACH, you fat, pea-brained cunt. Use it.

JFC, your fucking fan went off in the middle of the night because the power blipped and you immediately wonder if you paid the fucking bill instead of if the power went out?

"I'm responsible." - Sure you are, we can tell by the fucking pack of tacos you're shoveling in your gaping maw.

Still riding that pluviophile train.

Usual eyes rolling back in your empty fucking head as if the fucking taco is manna from heaven. Declares it "so good" because of course she fucking does. WriterLynn apparently has no qualifier other than "so" and no other word than "good" as a descriptor.

"The power is back on. Obviously." - First time I have ever heard her use the word "obviously" correctly.

"What packs the punch is the Doritos shell. it's so good." - Again with the "so good". And yes, dumbass, there's a reason it's fucking called the DORITOS Locos taco. Goddamn.

Oh, here's the "I'm a dietician. I'm a dietician nutritionist." - You couldn't define the educational requirements or what either of them do you goddamned retarded whale. Just keep stuffing your fucking face so I can get dispense with your shit.

Blah blah blah. You're too stupid for this game, bitch. I hope Nik absolutely savages your ass in his next video. Plenty of material there.

She's dumping out the fucking filling. Way to waste that, you cunt. Next time get a fucking bag of Doritos.

"Jokes aside." - You haven't made any jokes and you're not funny, bitch.

"I've stopped weighing myself daily." - No shit, Captain FatAss Obvious. We know you quit. Because you quit everything.

"There's gonna have me intuitively eat and not weigh myself every day." - Yes, trained professionals are going to tell your 6x oversized ass to "intuitively eat", because clearly that's worked out so very well for you. JFC, does your stupidity have no depth?

"My appointment is probably sooner than you think it is." - It's next month, which starts the day after tomorrow, Fatty. just fucking say the date if you want everyone to know exactly when it is, or STFU about it. Nobody gives a fuck exactly when it is. I'd say there's a good number of us who think you're full of shit and won't go, even if such an appointment exists in the first place. Whatever it turns out being, it will be just another thing you quit. Not a single person with a brain thinks it will lead to actual, lasting weight loss.

"I feel like binge eaters, going on a meal plan might actually trigger.." - You do not have BED, so you can fuck right off with that. The ONLY thing that "triggers" you is being told you can't eat whatever the fuck you want, when you want it, and in the quantity you want. Go fuck yourself, Big Ham.

Blah blah, feelings. GFY again. You love to compare yourself to other people, so I'll do one for you: other people go through shitty things - shittier than you had it, clearly - and don't eat themselves to become immobile, washing-with-a-rag-on-a-stick and bucket of soapy water, bedbound 600 pound assholes who think the world should quite literally cater to them.

Leaves a big pile of taco innards as if we're supposed to be proud of her for wasting food and money both.

Does her stupid signoff and outro.

TL;DW/DR: Bitch eats four Doritos locos tacos, which winds up being three after she dumps the innards out and basically is just fucking eating Doritos at the end, and thinks trained medical professionals are going to tell her, DrLynnMedicineWoman, what she thinks they will tell her to do: intuitive eating, because, ya know, she's been such a stellar fucking example of how that works out.
 
I was fumbling with my phone, feeling like I had balloon hands like Big Ham, and managed to hit this vid that YT reccd.


Laughing my ass off at all the shit she's bought over the years to help in the weight loss journeeee really helped continue the uplift of my mood that the recap didn't get. It included the same 100 days shit - and the same 100 day and one year weight loss goal. She really rilly rilly is stuck in Groundhog Day.

50 pounds in 100 days! "That's just half a pound a day, which seems not that hard."
100 days of weighing in! (Abandoned, "as per usual" in the speech habits of the Amberverse.)
Weigh 350 pounds by December! Bitch, you lost a grand total of one pound in 50 days. Unless you chop off both laygs, that sure as fuck is never going to happen.

There's only one reason someone would do this shit over and over and over, "eck-setera"" it's performative bullshit to get new ambabies to replace the ones who become haydurs. Got news for you, Big Ham: the length of time it's taking people to catch on to your bullshit now that you barely leave the apartment gets shorter every time. You should look up Zeno's arrow paradox. Even though it isn't a real paradox, the notion of it rings quite true here.
 
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Apologies if this has been discussed before, but is the beef between her and Nick genuine? I know that Nick is mostly just an act and Big AL has a penchant for trolling, but I remember they used to be friends. She would mention him by name in her videos a lot. I know that Nick and Orlin take constant digs at her now but are they just trolling too?
Is Nick ever truly friends with anyone? Surely there is a constant danger that Nick will at some point exchange any relationship for any amount of $YTB.
 
"Calories are accounted for." Big fucking deal. It's almost a thousand fucking calories that a) you should not be eating and b) will likely join five other thousand calories meals today.
If you do not have a goal, counting calories make no sense. It is like being on a diet without following the diet.

JFC, your fucking fan went off in the middle of the night because the power blipped and you immediately wonder if you paid the fucking bill instead of if the power went out?
She mentions that she sleeps with a fan on and likes the room to be cold. Then, caught herself and said that Jade likes it too. How could she while sleeping in the other room?

"My appointment is probably sooner than you think it is." - It's next month, which starts the day after tomorrow, Fatty. just fucking say the date if you want everyone to know exactly when it is, or STFU about it. Nobody gives a fuck exactly when it is. I'd say there's a good number of us who think you're full of shit and won't go, even if such an appointment exists in the first place. Whatever it turns out being, it will be just another thing you quit. Not a single person with a brain thinks it will lead to actual, lasting weight loss.
Amber always gets so excited when she has an appointment with a therapist or a bariatric surgeon. She builds expectations that they will understand her and tell her what she wants to hear. She will go to one appointment then quit saying that it would not work for her. I expect that she will be back on WW after the appointment.
 

You didn't get just ONE taco, did you? If so, man up, nancyboy. Nobody over the age of ten gets just ONE taco.


Geez, the mook-bongs aren't even pulling in the eyeballs. Better start doing more, Big Ham, with more than soggy taco shells. This ain't cuttin' it.

Amber always gets so excited when she has an appointment with a therapist or a bariatric surgeon. She builds expectations that they will understand her and tell her what she wants to hear. She will go to one appointment then quit saying that it would not work for her. I expect that she will be back on WW after the appointment.

That would be poetic. Speaking of poetry, don't know how many of you watch the NarcAlert's videos, but on Sundays, she does readings and "interpretations" of Big Al's terrible poetry. It is a hootenbery, in the language of the amberverse. Mind-numbing pap, but trying to dissect that shit and Hamber's awful attempts at imagery is fun. Puerile is what someone called it last night, and I'd agree with that. But she's passionate about poetry, y'all, and like all writers, constantly working to refine her craft - as we'd know if she'd release "Watermelon Kisses", which surely will elevate her to consideration for Poet Laureate. Except for, you know, the racist imagery watermelon drums up now that she's dating a black "gf" and used to give handies to black/poc dudes in movie theaters.

ETA: Mea culpa for the error up above in the "Items used" post. 50 pounds in 100 days should say half a pound a day, not two pounds a day. Sorry for misquoting that, Big Al. You wish you could lose two pounds a day for a hundred days - something completely doable for a 500+ pound person to do. Just not doable for you.
 
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It has taken 17 hours for the Taco Bell Mukbang to surpass the previous haul video released nearly 3 days ago. Take the hint, fatty. Eat some more.
She must be stupid to think that her dinky snack might summon more views. Chinny and Nick Alfredo eat way more on camera and they're not as big as her.

Come on, Hamber. Show off your intuitive eatin' skillz
 
Nigga Jade looking thick.
This is what happens when you get into hamberverse, you immediately gain and start looking like a thumb or a fetal alcohol baby.

For those who don't want to watch, a story in pictures:
Thank you for this. Still boring as fuck even without hearing her talk.

"There's gonna have me intuitively eat and not weigh myself every day."
Out of her fucking mind or just more of troll-lynn? There is zero chance medical professionals would tell a 500 pound person to intuitive eat. GORL YOU JUST ORDERED 800 CALORIES OF TACOS FOR 1 MEAL! As if she'll suddenly stop ordering 20 nuggets or whatever fast food. Can't wait for the excuse on why this one didn't work. Wonder how she'll turn it to be the haydurs fault.
 
Is Nick ever truly friends with anyone? Surely there is a constant danger that Nick will at some point exchange any relationship for any amount of $YTB.
I guess it's totally possible that Nick never even liked her from the beginning. I know she claims to be 'friends' with Carlee Steel but I remember one of AL's vintage mukbangs was meant to be a collab with her. The challenge was to eat an entire large bag of hot Cheetos without drinking anything. Amber shovelled down most of the bag (only stopping to pretend to be a dainty queen and claiming 'I can't finish this WHOLE thing you guise!), whilst in Carlee's video (according to one of the comments), she ate like 5 chips, never mentioned AL in the video or its description, and ended up deleting the video anyway. I don't think that friendship was ever real and given Nick seems to be actual friends with Carlee, at least for the camera, I would not be surprised if Nick and Carlee were just being friendly to her face and secretly trashing her behind her back. LMAO
 
I remember a video where Amber was shopping with Becky and she was showing us the food she was getting for the binge she was going to have later that night.

That is not Binge Eating Disorder. That is just being a pig.

I could understand knowing you might lose control at some point and trying to keep low fat high volume foods around so you don't end up dipping sticks of butter in the bag of sugar or something equally awful, but deliberately buying chips and ice cream? Nah. She just wanted some tasty food and refuses to deny herself anything.

Personally I hope she does lose a lot of weight. I want to see what damage she's done to herself, and I want to see her reaction (not that she'll be honest) to being crippled for life just because she wouldn't put the fork down.
Binges can be planned but not how Big Al portrays it.
 
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