Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

Are you looking forward to seeing Jade's face on camera?

  • Yes

    Votes: 555 15.7%
  • No

    Votes: 349 9.9%
  • I don't care

    Votes: 2,633 74.4%

  • Total voters
    3,537
It's like Amber is trying everything in her power to unlock the secret formula to get money while barely lifting a finger. Too bad she's a low effort retard and being in a coma is more exciting than the bullshit nontent she pushes out.
Plus there are so many fatties doing the exact same thing on YT, it's oversaturated. She'd have to stand out to make money & Hamber is just not a stand out kind of gorl. Look at Anna Glitter-Lazers and the ridiculous shit she has to do to stay relevant.
 
The numbers are in, and they say....you're in a severe downward spiral, Fatty. I can't think of anyone who deserves it more.
I guess that her daily vlogging lasted a couple of days and now we are back to vlogging every other days.

Her last vlog gathered only 36k views after almost 2 days. Pitiful. Her 2 previous ones have not breached the 50k views yet. She is trying the impossible; doing mukbangs, which is by definition eating large quantities of food while being a dainty girl eating hardly anything. This will not satisfy the feeders following her and not the dieters who see her still gaining weight.

For the last month, she had only 1.145m views, not something she could brag about it.

I wonder if we will hear from her about her medical examination? Is she still healthy but big?
 
I guess that her daily vlogging lasted a couple of days and now we are back to vlogging every other days.

I doubt she's hitting record on her phone every other day. I think she's back to her usual laziness of recording a bunch of shit in a single day, then uploading and scheduling them to release every other day. That way, she has entire days to do nothing but her coloreen or whatever the fuck it is she thinks she's doing with the third grade art cards or continue her melding with the couch to watch crappy shit on TV and online.

Her last vlog gathered only 36k views after almost 2 days. Pitiful. Her 2 previous ones have not breached the 50k views yet. She is trying the impossible; doing mukbangs, which is by definition eating large quantities of food while being a dainty girl eating hardly anything. This will not satisfy the feeders following her and not the dieters who see her still gaining weight.

I think there are two classes of feeders: one that wants people to eats tons of food AND gain weight, and one that is just for the eating of lots of food. I think both groups are likely unsatisfied right now.

I wonder if we will hear from her about her medical examination? Is she still healthy but big?

I would give a lot to hear a doctor tell her flat out that she's a giant fatass to her face instead of couching it in medical speak.

These numbers are the only reason I keep coming to this thread. Her channel is in freefall and I love that for her.

We should have a new poll: which dies first, Hamber or her YouTube ‘career’?

With any luck, both deaths will occur about as simultaneously as possible, although I suspect the "gf" would take whatever videos Big Ham had prerecorded and release them until the one where she chokes to death on a piece of pickled baby corn. That one would be hyped to no end, then released in two parts. The second part would run and then abruptly cut to black, with morbid music and cards at the end saying Hamber had died, and the channel would be left as is for archival purposes, but no new videos would be posted. There would be wailing, gnashing of teeth, and rending of garments in the Amberverse as some people, feeling guilty, tried to retcon things to the pointt that you'd think Spamber was the second coming of Joan of Arc, while others fought back with details of all the ways Big Hamber is/was a shitty person. Eventually, people would drift away, occasionally coming back as another flareup commenced, and that expanding then contracting of commentary would become the new Amberverse cycle.

Or, haydur nation would say good riddance and migrate en masse to some other fatty. Deathfats are, after all, a target rich environment on YouTube.
 
Over 3 hours after uploading and no archive. Fatty is cancelled. Sorry I can’t do it as I’m at work.
Getting ready for her doctor’s appoin’men’. Nervous and dreading it. Perhaps if she had a wash and combed her hair before she went, she might feel a bit better.
EVERYONE I know makes themself presentable before visiting the doctor, apart from this fucking hog.
Her ‘pants are so long cos she’s a shorty’ - no, they are so long cos they have to somehow fit over your disgusting, massive stomach/fupa/shelf ass situation, type deal.
Yet another doctor who is sooooo amazeeeen. She asked Fatty why she doesn’t exercise. Surely the answer is that Fatty does. All the walkeen for half an hour, walkeen up and down staircases - or more lahs, Fatass?
Every time she sees a doctor, they never mention her weight. In the UK they usually ask if you smoke or have ever smoked, how much you drink, then ask about weight and exercise. If all of those are fine, they don’t usually know what the fuck to say next.
‘She seemed like she ackshully cared’ - no, that's her job. If you don’t care, why should she?
Has the biggest bowl of vegetables and crab or something, that I’ve ever seen. I hope she is okay with it, seeing as she’s so quirky that she cannot eat much seafood, all at once - yet another fucking lah.
Huge container of bubble tea, whatever that is. She’s soooo excited….
She loves all the healthy food - no orgasm noises, so lahs.
Trying to prove her animals ‘love’ her - no one has ever loved you, you obnoxious piece of shit, be it man or beast. You are completely unlovable. The only people who tolerate you are all on your payroll.
Got rid of loads of eareens, but still has loads that she’s touting about selling. She must REALLY need money. Love that for her.
Twinkie looking at Jade ‘intently’ cos she knows she’s going to go for a walk - not looking at Fatty, cos she knows Fatty ain’t walkeen her anytime soon.
Some shit about Twinkie losing weight. Fatty and Jade, who has a deeper voice than James Earl Jones, weigh her, then Fatty asks Twinkie if she wants a treat - fuck me, does this hog involve food in everything?
Trying her acting skills, again… She and her girlfriend have come up with a ‘game’ where they buy things from Amazon. First package is an oil diffuser - that will go into overdrive trying to diffuse all the grease from Big AL.
Acting some lines from Titanic - she is as good at acting as she is at everything else.
Trying to read the box of oils - she was in special ed for a reason.
Twinkie has a new gold colored collar. Looks cheap and nasty, so of course Fatass loves it. ‘We’re goeen to put that on her’ as she gives it to Black Becky to do.
A new knife sharpener that she loves.
New pet blankets - buy, buy, buy, gotta increase the hoard.
Fatty got her flu shot when she went to the doctor - so that is probably all she went for and never saw an actual doctor.
Abrupt ending - food order at the front door, then
 
expanding on this, candles can be outright dangerous for animals. The fragrance oils and paraffin fumes are really bad for their little systems.
Would you look at that? Wipey bought a huge essential oil diffuser! Do you think they know which fragrances can be harmful to their pets?

nor do I think Amberlynn is smart enough/cares enough to even check.
Nope.

Aside from that, of course they’re wasting money on shit from Amazon. Wasn’t Big Ham whining about having to pay for outpatient and complaining she couldn’t afford WLS now? I wonder why. 🧐

For the purpose of what I can only assume to be engagement, she says no doctor has ever mentioned her weight before this one…. :lol: Then shows her bandaid where she got her flu shot. I’m convinced that’s all this doctor appointment consisted of. Her getting a flu shot and the doctor asking why she never gets off her fat ass.

Also, she continues to look like complete and utter shit. She looks more and more like a corpse each video. With the way she’s been drinking and shit since Wipey entered the picture, I’m starting to wonder if that’s the end goal. Is she trying to pull some sort of Isabella Janke-esque shit here? Maybe I’m being morbid, but fuck. You cannot tell me she gives a fuck about Hamber.
 
Wait, no doctor has ever mentioned her weight before this one...?

Didn't she fucking clap circles because one doctor said that if she didn't lose weight, she was going to die? Or is my alcohol-pickled brain filling in why the doctor she clapped circles about told her she was going to die? But I distinctly remember her cheering because she was given a death sentence by a doctor back in the Becky era, and 'that was the first doctor who actually cared' or some bullshit.

Fucking fuck, ALR. Write your lies down in a journal so you don't keep rehashing them, you nimrod.
 
Why did she make a big deal of her and wifey taking turns ordering of there Amazon wishlists?

9AC98EAB-7008-4C26-BB8B-81088C7A43E8.jpeg
 
A flu shot in late April? Even if in some parts of the world influenza cases have abnormally risen again in spring, it makes little sense to get a shot now (even if Amber is ultra high risk) and anyway the overall cases are still very low compared to before COVID. I wonder when this video was recorded.
Well, either that or she just hasn't seen a doctor for the past 6 months, bolth of which seems equally plausible.
 
Whoa,
Black Becky
Bam-ba-lam




Would you look at that? Wipey bought a huge essential oil diffuser! Do you think they know which fragrances can be harmful to their pets?
Amber is reading the whole thing like an absolute retard. There is no hope for the pets.
Aside from that, of course they’re wasting money on shit from Amazon. Wasn’t Big Ham whining about having to pay for outpatient and complaining she couldn’t afford WLS now? I wonder why. 🧐
You cant tell me though that this wasnt amazeen.
Ambers fat ass looks at a literal dog collar thats all fake gold colored and has a lock on it and thinks its jewelry for her.
 
SmugLynn staring at herself in the camera as the thumbnail. I can see this is going to be stellar. Ratio is bang on.

Screenshot 2022-04-23 09.55.29 - Copy.png


As she said in the last video, this one covers the doctor visit. She put on her wrong shoes to head out to an appointment she is "dreading". There isn't a single fucking thing she doesn't dread or get scurred or nervous about.

Rarity sighting. Big Hamber starts annoying the shit out of her. Just film the animals without your fucking interfering with them or yammering at them, bitch.

A couple of random shots from the doctor's office later, we're back at the Hovel. Of course they stopped and got takeout. A "po-key" bowl for Hamber. Does it have ed-a-mommy in it? (Answer: yes.)

Big Spam claims this doctor -like any other doctor she's seeing for the first time - is just amazeeen. When the doc asks Ham why she doesn't exercise is the molment Spammy decides this doctor is the greatest, because - unlike every single other doctor, ever, that Fatty has been to see - the doctor mentions her weight and sees her fatness as a "symptom of something". Yeah, you stupid twat, a symptom of you eating too goddamned much. Back to the old "no doctor ever mentions my weight" except the "hulthy but big" doc or the doctor she did a round of applause for because he told Becky that Fatass was going to die.

But enough of that bullshit - we all know how long the honeymoons with doctors lasts - it's time to eat!! She starts in on the "pokey" bowl, staring at herself as she eats. Declares it "so good" because ConnoisseurLynn has an exceptional vocabulary of descriptive words and phrases at her disposal and that phrase is absolutely the most apt here, I'm sure, because no one has as sophisticated a palate as Big Ham. However, one of the newest characters in the Amberverse is nowhere to be found: no pickled baby corn at this meal.

Twinkie...whoops, blink and she's gone!

FFS, we don't give a shit about the earrings you have left from all that cheap tacky shit you hoarded.

Back to Twinkie, who is about to go on a walk. Big Spam lets the truth slip: Twinkie is staring at the "gf", who is about to take Twinkie for a walk. So, all that posturing during the live era when Big Ham claimed she would do anything for her "fur babies" (how I fucking hate that phrase)? Naturally, a lie, because the only person Spamber would do anything for is herself. Twinkie doesn't look at all enthused about going for a walk.

Twinkie weigh in. Hamber thinks Twinkie is now 12.2, down from 12.4. Like you can judge .2 pounds, you absolute twat. The "gf" thinks 12.4 still. First weight: 12.2. Of course, Hamber wants to give her a treat. They do a re-weigh: 12.3. "So we were both right!" declares Fatty. No. That is not what that means, but it does explain a great deal about you.

Some stupid Amazon "game". Hamber is looking at the "gf", asking her how they should explain it, and pretty much acting like a fucking toddler trying to please a parent. Sickening and abasing. Great job, Big Ham.

The basics: once a month, they each buy some bullshit crap off their Amazon list, but in secret. Then, every day(?) they will open a package to see what stupid, cheap, useless bullshit they've bought. How will you open shit every day if you're just buying once a month? Whatever.

Spamber opens a box, and would you look at that: a "stuneen" essential oils diffuser - aka, pet killer. If you don't want your animals, just find them a good home, JFC.

Other things in the box: a fake gold collar for Twinkie. Pretty soon they'll be getting gang tats for her to complete her transition to thug. A knife sharpener, even though neither of them cook. A two-pack of pet blankets.

And with that, show's over. This bullshit is not sustainable for your channel, Hamber. Not to support your continued residence at the Hovel for the two of you, the way you blow through every dime you make. What happened to the imaginary outpatient and that expense? Are you just going to stop pretending that you're going?

TL;DW/R: Hamber finds another "amazeen" doctor, who won't be as amazeen once she starts laying cold, hard truths at Big Ham's ankleballs. They buy more shit from Amazon, and the takeout meal train continues, unstoppable.



Edit: Additional thought: There's no mention of the imaginary outpatient thing. At the doctor's office, she shows a bandaid, which is presumably where she got her flu shot that she mentions in this vlog. But it's April, well past prime flu season here. Given the way Hamber loves to fuck around with the timeline, it's entirely possible this vlog is old. OLD, old, like months old instead of weeks.
 
Last edited:
Back