- Joined
- Oct 11, 2018
Fucking finally got through it.
Bullshit livestream because there’s not enough bullshit in my life. The package store is more familiar with me than they have a right to be. Classy as fuck Barefoot Muscato Blanco in hand, because fuck it all.
And much to my chagrin, there must be a part 2.
Bullshit livestream because there’s not enough bullshit in my life. The package store is more familiar with me than they have a right to be. Classy as fuck Barefoot Muscato Blanco in hand, because fuck it all.
Yeah, had to break out a new bottle of alcohol goodness, because the last video dun killed my sake bottle ded.
And had to wait another day to do this because with the length of the live stream, I have a sinking feeling that this may take more than 1 bottle to make it through this shitstorm.
And awaaaaaay we go.
0:00 Before she even says anything, I am appalled at how she looks. Purple dot on her nose, terrible color on her skinny lips that makes her teeth look fucking decayed brown, bad color painted into her eyebrows (that aren’t symmetrical with one another so they look baaaaad). Has either makeup smudges or bruising or something on her chest. Wearing a heinous shirt. I think that the shirt’s supposed to be Sully from Monsters Inc, but this is the laziest getup ever. Hair in Raggedy Ann pigtails. She looks like hot shit. Yikes. Alright, let’s hit play now. She just opens to giggling and comments about looking so bad.
0:13 Mentions she hasn’t done a livestream in forever, but it’s a Halloween FUCK YOU AND YOUR MOLMENT BULLSHIT YOU IGNORANT, BRAINLESS TWAT. Brainless twat shows how brainless she is by attempting to set up her laptop and blasting some advertisement or shit from it. Beautiful, AL, beautiful. She was trying to click on video so she could read the chat on her computer. She stares at her computer as if technology confuses the fuck out of her.
0:43 Perpetual fat wave machine wants to be put into motion via slapping to the moon already, as she personifies her livestream as a ‘she’ (because totes a lesbeeeeeeaaaaan and shit, y’all). Clicks on it, has the volume blasting so yes, we get to hear her on delay. What a dumbass. And she looks smug as fuck when she’s doing this setup shit, too.
0:53 So, finally set up, she greets us. Again. Finally. Assures us that this is a live situaFUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOU.
I can feel my liver crying in despair and my brain humming in preparation for its alcohol pickling session.
1:11 Someone already asked if she’s drunk She assures us that she’s not, and hasn’t drank since her last livestream in April (except water, whores). F/JFoNY:MGF,W is making her ‘foodsie’ and instead of just keeping it to be dainty and kyuuuuute AL tries to say she says this most retarded iteration of ‘food’ to throw off the Twinkie senses, because apparently the mutt wants food whenever she hears the trigger word of the entirety of Lexington.
1:40 Fuck, getting an idea of what this entire stream will be. She stares, squinty-eyed at her laptop, attempting to read. This long pregnant pause filled with ‘uh… uh…. Um....’ Is interrupted by a squeal of ‘oh, thank you!’ Someone said she looks cute. Which is a lie. AL goes back to the topic of food and says F/JFoNY:MGF,W is making her a salad. AL says she’s been making all her food herself, but apparently F/JFoNY:MGF,W makes food for AL when she decided to do a livestream, which apparently happens when AL gets a wild hair up her butt.
2:20 Someone states that they thought AL was doing a charity (or maybe it’s cherry, I dunno, she enunciates like a mush-mouthed retard) costume. The vapid blubber-puff tilts her head and rapidly flutters her fake eyelashes like she’s having a stroke. She says ‘that would’ve been kyuuuuuute but no’. Confirms that it’s Sully (which she pronounces as Soulie) after thanking people for super chats (the whole reason for her live-streaming - desperation for money). AL then says that they’re not wearing complimentary (or as she calls it, cohesive) costumes. F/JFoNY:MGF,W is too classy to dress up, apparently. But apparently she’s wearing a green shirt situFUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOU and has proclaimed she’s an olive.
3:00 Another person says she looks like a big cherry. I dunno where these people are getting ‘cherry’ from ‘dipshit in a blue and purple spotted shirt with a smudge of purple shit on her nose and purple mismatched eyebrows’. It boggles my mind, and it’s not even humming with alcohol poisoning yet. Someone chimes in that they’re obsessed with the eyebrows - AL giggles and says thanks. This person who said this must be either a troll or legally blind. AL says ‘I look craaaaazyyyyyy! Oh my gosh, it’s so funny.’ No, you don’t look crazy. You look like a dipshit who can’t apply cosmetics to save your soul. Please expand your lexicon, dipshit. Not every look is crazy.
3:18 Someone asks if she’s going to address the rumors that she’s cheating on Wipey. What the fuck? That’d involve AL actually leaving the apartment without Wipey escorting her. Lolz to that. F/JFoNY:MGF,W sounds in from off-screen going ‘You’re cheating on me?’ To which AL says ‘noooooo.’ AL grumbles about how she doesn’t cheat.
3:35 Instagram name: velvet.and.honey
3:48 AL has to announce that they don’t get trick or treaters. She says it’s because there’s nothing but young 20 year olds without children where she lives.
4:09 Is she meeting Chantal? Lolz nope.
4:27 AL goes on to say that she did have purple blush, but I guess it faded with her rotund face. Also first ever recorded cough. You know, that cough she’s been struggling with for like a month now, apparently. Anyway - she says she covered her blush up with more foundation, because she wasn’t feeling it and cleaning her giant face is too much effort, apparently.
5:00 After being starry-eyed over praise of her janky eyebrows, she gets asked if she’s watched the new Hocus Pocus. To everyone’s shock, she hasn’t. It’s not Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, so F/JFoNY:MGF,W won’t watch it.
5:15 Reveals she’s not friends with any of her neighbors. Says ‘we’ve got each others’ backs type style.’ That’s not a fucking style, you imbecile. Such a fucking retard. Oh, speaking of retarded, someone thought she’s was Blue’s Clues or some shit. C’mon, was the dog spotted purple? I dun think so. AL is flabbergasted. But then excited about it and professes ‘Sully who? I don’t know who that is.’ Numbskull.
5:42 No plan for the livestream - it’s more a Q&A molment and I wanna punch her. She’s of course going to eat during it, because what else would she do? Fuck you, viewers. Fuck you.
5:52 She loved Alex is Shooks costume and showed it to Destiny. I thought they didn’t talk much. Huh.
6:12 More prattling about Halloween costumes. Says ‘yesterday I was Mike’ which confirms that she’s behind in her vlogs again. Way to out yourself, dipshit. She said she was just feeling it and thought it was kyuuuute.
6:35 She doesn’t watch Thrift Thick. And hasn’t weighed herself and isn’t drunk (hasn’t drank since April - because she made a fool of herself and puked her brains out).
7:11 Tumbler emptied because she just simped ‘Faline is my baaaabeeeee’ shaddup. F/JFoNY:MGF,W is just Jade. You know this was in response to some retard who couldn’t figure out that it’s the same fucking dipshit with a new nickname assigned.
7:20 She’s tried to watch Tammy Lemon but found her boring. Says her content isn’t for her, because her videos remind her a lot of her own.
8:00 She doesn’t watch Ilona, either.
8:10 Sharply denies that she’s diabetic. Y’all know this is the fucking hill she’ll die on. She’ll have a foot rot off before she admits to it, but blame that on an unwritten symptom of lipedema/lymphodema or some shit.
8:15 Someone recommends that she tries monjiro (which she then promptly mispronounces as monjaro). I’m assuming this person is referring to dried squid. She says she’s heard of it, but moves on. I dunno if she’s thinking monjiro the food or Monjiro the character from the One Piece anime or some shit. Or if the person’s calling out for monjaro, as in the diabetes drug, you are a marvelous troll, good sir/ma’am.
8:20 Emma Chamberlin - she doesn’t like her? Or dislike her? She doesn’t know who this is, and neither do I, so whatever. Immediately after, someone simps for a return of the Livestream era and fuck them.
8:30 AL wishes they had trick or treaters, but they don’t have any candy anyway. Because she’s hoover down the whole bag all by herself, of course.
8:54 Nut salsa comes up. She says she watches Chantal as if they’ve never been friends, and as if she’s just some random person and blah blah blah. She’s trying to say she watches her anonymously. She also admits to watching reaction channels of Chantal, and that she’s obsessed with her. AL says that she finds her entertaining. But the whole nut salsa thing is apparently ridiculous. She doesn’t think that Chantal was lying about moving, the salsa, etc. AL does admit that she thinks Chantal thinks she’s a sack of shit. AL goes the altruistic route to say “I hope the best for her” and other bullshit. She says she hopes Salle or whatever his name is (I don’t follow Chantal, don’t @ me) is real and they get married and all that shit.
11:30 AL says her health is good. Her lung scare was terrifying.
11:40 Confesses to striking Bottle. Says she did it in good faith. Says she felt it wasn’t okay to take her videos right after uploading and do minimal editing. AL says she doesn’t want any reaction channel removed or demonetized if it’s something they’re enjoying. ‘I can say that from my heart. I’m not that person.’ But she doesn’t think what they’re doing is right. She wants MoRe UnIqUeNeSs.
13:00 Is handed her phone off-screen. Says ‘Oh dear, my father.’ At least, that’s what I heard. Then she says ‘I love you’ and gets back to paying attention to her laptop.
13:10 Other things she’s learned recently (and now she waxes on about bullshit) about Fair Use *INSERT EVERY CENSORABLE WORD UNDER THE FUCKING SUN HERE - she’s using molment and situation type deal just to piss those of us with functioning brains right the hell off like the cuntalicious troll she is*. She says Fair Use is not black and white. Every situation is its own, apparently. She feels that Bottle isn’t properly under the umbrella of Fair Use. AL needs this not to happen! Whaaaa, whaaaa! She can’t explain it because she’s not a lawyer. She says based on what she’s learned, she did it in good faith, blah blah blah. Then she admits to striking two channels - Bottle and Apathetic Fax. Which we already knew about. She then whines that reaction channels have harassed her for years, but she didn’t strike any of them, you retards! She likes some of them! Loathes some of them. Never, ever, ever ‘have thought to myself’ that she wants to take those channels down. Whatever. Says when she sees a channel takes her content as if it’s theirs that it’s not okay and shit. Except Fax was manipulating the HELL out of it. What’s your excuse there?
15:34 Someone requests the shade of F/JFoNY:MGF,W making AL a salad. She squeals ‘nooooo!’ and promptly moves on. Says they eat a lot of salads (drowned in ranch dressing, of course) and it’s boring. Like the rest of her life.
15:53 Favorite reactors? Alex is Shook. Then goes on to the reactors she watches - Alex is Shook. Then wheezes out a laugh asking if we’re inquiring about her reactors or Chantal’s. Then narcs the fuck out asking if there’s reaction channels to any other YouTuber because she’s only heard of them around her and Chantal. That’s right, you two fat slobs are the center of the YouTube empire, fuckwaffle. She claims that’s not being cocky - no, it’s being narrow-focused and only looking for shit about yourself, dipshit.
16:36 Fake anxiety attack. Don’t care, moving on.
16:43 Claims she and her psychiatrist are messing with her medicine to figure things out with her anxiety and bullshit. Whatever.
16:58 Back to the ‘reaction channels’ inquiry. They wanted to know which of Chantal’s reaction channels she watches, and she immediately says ‘I watch all of them!’ Then she redacts her statement and clarifies that she watches Kaya (excuse me, because I don’t know any of this shit) - and she blathers forever about this shit, mentioning that this reactor used to react to AL and that tainted her opinion of this reactor as a person or some shit, Gary Unfiltered… and she can’t think about anyone else who reacts to Chantal. Then she goes on to her own reactors, which she admits to watching Alex is Shook, Zachary Michael and Kicking Geese. And that’s it. Then she goes on to prattle about Gary and the conspiracy theories and shit. And then waxes poetically about how loves is beautiful and other nauseating shit that has me draining another glass of delicious alcohol.
18:49 AL once again proves that her lexicon is super limited by referring to her look as ‘crazy’ because people are still yammering about her stupid lopsided purple eyebrows.
18:58 Someone asks AL if she thinks Chantal is getting scammed, and I’m rather amused that her livestream is becoming centralized around a different YouTuber. AL just shakes her head and states that she doesn’t know. Says it’s not because it’s Chantal, and this shit can happen to anybody (who doesn’t have more than 3 braincells to clack together). Then someone else tells her that she looks a mess, and she cackles and says that’s the point.
19:41 Opinion on Young Dumb Honey Bun losing subs. She just says ‘It is what it is!’ But she sounds very enthusiastic saying that. Says she doesn’t watch her and can’t watch her (likely because even with her lukewarm IQ, YDHB is mountains above AL in intellectual prowess - and I wouldn’t trust YDHB to figure out how to house a hamster for a week without killing it). Then she gets distracted by someone complimenting her braids, so subject is abandoned so she can preen and run her hands over her greasy as hell hair. Of course, AL likes doing braids where you do just a few little IT’S NOT A FUCKING MOLMENT YOU BLUNDERING BABOON GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH we know it’s because you’re a lazy shitburger. She claims to think its kyuuuuute and thinks it’s kyuuuuuuter like that than with full braids. Probably because full braids would amplify how rotund her fatty face is, and the loose hair helps draw attention away from its spherical shape.
20:20 Thanks someone for a super chat but says that she ‘doesn’t know what (you’re) saying’ so it’s probably something that’d reflect negatively on AL’s little self. Someone asks where she got her shitty hoops and she says she doesn’t know, but probably good old ‘the Amazon’ and suddenly I’m picturing this blubberpotomus floating in the river being nibbled to death by red belly piranhas and am giggling about it.
20:30 Holy fuckdoodles, back to YDHB. AL says YDHB gives her bad vibes.
20:49 Now someone asks her if she’s a blueberry for halloween. That’d be the most bruised blueberry ever, dipshit. AL, you know your costume is fail if so many fucking morons are getting it wrong.
21:07 Favorite show right now. It’s called ‘who gives a fuck’ and it’s produced by DC4L. Nah, she says it’s ‘uuuuuhhhhhhh Grey’s Anatomy’.
21:24 Freaks out because someone said she’s turning 42. LOLZ she won’t live that long, stooge.
21:30 Someone asks if she’s made a butter board and she’s clueless about that. Then says something like ‘shape of the algorithm’ or probably ‘shake up the algorithm’ or something, and she goes ‘yaaaaaaaaaassss’ like a retard. I wish she would pull the fucking butter out of her mouth and enunciate like a normal human being so it’d be easier to transcribe her bullshit. Now she’s saying she watched something and shit about AL. aka: She was watching the first episode of a ‘show’ about her narcissistic ass, because what else would she watch on YouTube? She talks about bias (and is distracted by a super chat asking her to discuss something she mumbled like a retard). Coming back to topic, she says that the first episode of this shit this person ‘started to cater to the wrong audience instead of being non-biased’ and I’m laughing because it’s likely that this person started to call her out on her lies. Funny moment - AL recognizes that it ‘seems a little weird to watch long-ass episodes about yourself, and it may seem a little narcissistic’ BECAUSE IT IS ‘but it’s just interesting.’ So she doesn’t refute that she’s a fucking narc.
23:25 Ooo, someone asks where the fucking weigh in videos she promised are. She looks like she’s constipated as she attempts to think of a response or retort. She legit goes ‘Did I promise weigh-in videos?’ And the world collectively slaps its collective forehead. She just blows it off by saying that she’s noticed she does better when she doesn’t talk about her weight. Repeat collective global forehead slapping, thank you and good night.
23:40 Confirms that she will never tell us what was so soul-crushing that she was sobbing about it continually. Because fuck you, she just wanted sympathy points and didn’t get sufficient quantities to continue dragging it out for more pity. Waaaaaaaahmbulance didn’t come fast enough or with enough asspats to satisfy her. She says she wanted to talk about it, but noooooo (said as cunty as possible). Then she shows us a book (‘Healing Through Words’ by Rupi Kaur) And says that Rupi is one of her most favorite authors, but it’s a guided situFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOU but this is apparently a poet she loves. She said she did the first exercise and it made her cry. She says a part of her wants to share it because CLICKBAIT but no. Says she doesn’t want to talk about, and I quote, ‘legality situation type deal’ (fuck you held at bay just for the direct quote, but barely) and I have finished off my glass. Refill time. I am worried because there’s still 2.25 hours of this shit remaining.
24:50 She loves her a Dr. Seuss IT’S NOT A FUCKING MOLMENT DIPSHIT!!!!! I am losing my fucking shit. There’s not enough alcohol in the world to listen to this fucking twat.
24:55 Anyway, gets back to the book. Says that she’s nervous to share, but won’t share, but wants to share, and wah wah wah. Twinkie is laying in her bed next to AL. Someone recommends she reads Judy Bates (AL looks confused). Yet again she’s asked what she’s dressed as, further confirming how shit her costume is.
25:32 Ah, yes, someone has stated that she’s truly obsessed with herself. AL tries lamely to counter this while eye-fucking herself and rubbing her hair saying she’s not.
25:40 Doesn’t watch ‘Love is Blind’ because she thinks it’s super boring. Then someone calls her out for saying Sully wrong, and she just huffs and states that she’s aware that she speaks like an autistic 2 year old with a cock in her mouth.
25:53 Someone asks if F/JFoNY:MGF,W journals. AL looks confused as if thinking about the habits of other humans is an alien concept to her. She says she journals, but not like her.
26:11 ‘Foodie Beauty rolls, Amberlynn trolls.’ Whoever said that is right. AL acknowledges that this is truth. Someone then asks why she didn’t dress as a McRib (it’s because she’s pauper the US if she gathered enough meat to dress like one a la Lady Gaga, shitlords).
26:30 Addresses Ozempic. She says it’s quite unfortunate, but she had to stop it. Her doctor wanted her to stop taking it because when she got her CT scan they were able to see her gall bladder and she’s very worried because Ozempic can cause pancreatitus and she has gall stones and sludge in her gall bladder, apparently from rapid weight loss. When she heard that AL’s had pancreatic issues before, the doctor pulled the plug. Which confirms that AL (a) has not had a regular doctor for a very, very long time and has never followed up on shit, (b) may not have seen anyone for her pancreas issues before hence why they’re not in her medical record, and (c) likely didn’t have approval to go on Ozempic in the first place. Or she lied about having issues with her pancreas and gall bladder before when questioned because she saw ‘magic weight-loss pill’ and wanted it NAAAAAUUUUUUUWWWWWWW. She continues saying that she’s very upset about being taken off Ozempic. And that she wanted to process the siFUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOU, YOU VAPID WASTE OF CELLS, GO HUG A TREE AND APOLOGIZE FOR WASTING THE FUCKING OXYGEN IT PRODUCES BY BREATHING IT IN AN EFFORT TO POWER NONEXISTENT BRAIN CELLS!!!!!!
Booze.
AL says this isn’t a cycle, she’s just finally listening to her doctor. Then prattles on about having a bad gall bladder.
28:51 Meanwhile the chat is all up on the sludge bullshit. ‘We love a sludge beeze’ and fuck you, we don’t. AL states ‘this is not Chantal’s channel, we don’t beeze over here.’ Then she immediately retracts that by saying, ‘That’s a lie. Me and F/JFoNY:MGF,W, we beeze’ and no one cares, AL. She’s handed a salad from off screen and grins as she shows it off for the camera in its massive bowl stating ‘we about to salad beeze!’ And the booze flows freely. Refill time.
29:04 Sorry, had to refill immediately because dipshit here calls it a situFUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOU because of /course/ she does. It looks like a fucking bagged salad mix with some burnt steak dumped on top of it. Which is exactly what it is. Which she immediately drowns in fucking ranch dressing (like it looks like almost a solid 1/4 cup of that shit poured onto that crap salad). Asks her chat if she has permission to eat, then threatens to block ‘Sofa King’ or whatever the person’s handle is lol. Someone says that the stream wouldn’t be complete without a steak salad, and she actually snort-laughs like the fucking pig she is. Oink oink, piggy.
30:09 Fucking gag me, because she looks off-camera and says ‘Thank you for making this, BT DUBS!’ and F/JFoNY:MGF,W says ‘you’re welcome, baby.’ AL, keep your attention on the fucking audience. No one cares that your house nigger’s shlumping around off-camera. AL off-tune sings about the steak being dry as the Sahara Desert. Which looks to be true, and every sane person gags in unison.
30:30 Distracted again. Decides to talk about her Lego shit. Then is made fun of by someone concerning all the ranch and she digs back in. Because fuck Lego, it’s food time. Of course she crunches away and says ‘this is bomb’ even though she looks pouty as fuck and nowhere near orgasmic glee as she is when she shoves carbs in her face.
31:08 Oh boy, someone points out that her salad isn’t keto. AL stares into it as if it’s betrayed her somehow, squealing at ear-drum rupturing volumes ‘What’s not keto?!!?’ And all of KiwiFarms goes READ YOUR THREAD, NUMBNUTS. She of course mockingly pretends to look for carbs, because Duncey Magoo here hasn’t read the ingredients of ranch dressing. Because that is in fact Hidden Valley Ranch, the 130 calorie per serving variety, which has 1g of sugars plus 1g of added sugar. In fact, sugar is the 4th fucking ingredient in it lolz But she does eventually acknowledge that there’s 1 carb in the ranch. No, dipshit, there’s 1 carb per serving in the ranch. You dumped like 4 servings of that shit onto your salad. She’s still whining that she’s got no carbs, proclaiming that she does have a carrot sliver (which she immediately fucking trolls by calling it a carrot molment after correctly identifying it as something other than a unit of time). Then says that she has red onion, too, ‘so that is probably a carb.’ Fuck this wench. I’d also argue that her lettuce DOES have carbs, because that shit is iceberg. It’s negligible, but if she’s going to be a rocket cunt, so will I. She estimates that in total her salad is 2.5 carbs. I laugh because she dumped far more than 2.5 on in just ranch dressing. She then self-righteously squeals that keto is below 50 carbs a day. And I want to slap her with a huge sign that says ‘GRAMS’ because there’s units of measurement. But it’d make no difference, because she doesn’t understand what measurements are. Reference: every video where she’s tried to read a nutritional information label. Add in her Torrid hauls for good measure.
32:23 More and more people are pointing out that ranch has added sugar, so it’s not keto. And she’s hung up on numbers and carbs and refusing to accept that she’s in the wrong. As is to be expected. Like me refilling my glass yet again. To be expected.
33:02 Someone messages to ‘not take hate from the haydurs’ and she just crunches away in her salad muttering about how haydurs suck. EmpathicLynn out there showing all her good natured goodness.
33:04 Someone mentions that AL looks bigger than ever, and she goes ‘nope, look at 2019 and you’ll think otherwise.’ She prattles on about how it amazes her how hyuuuge she was back then because she has zero self-awareness.
33:37 Oh, funny bit. Someone tells her to come back to the VIP chat, and AL admits that Chantal has her blocked.
33:52 Someone tells her to go to a gay bar. She says ‘that sounds fun’ (considering earlier she waxed on with her superiority attitude about how she hasn’t drank since April, I’m flabbergasted by the whiplash I just experienced).
34:09 LOL So someone tells her to pick another dressing and she goes ‘nah, I’m good.’ Because this is her fucking hill she’s going to die on. RaNcH iS kEtO despite all of its added sugars, you SHITLORDS. MOLMENT. SITUATION. TYPE DEAL. SLAPS, BOMB.
Drank, got myself out of that loop. Sorry.
34:27 OH FUCK YOU, YOU FAT FUCK. She has gone ‘what about those ASMR channels that are literally just this’ and she SCOOTS HER BOWL TO THE CAMERA, HOVERS OVER IT, AND CHEWS LIKE A FUCKING COW IN OUR EARS. You foul cretin!!! Uncultured swine! Go dive head-first off The Henry and put another pothole in Lexington’s streets, asshole!!! To make things worse, when she starts giggling and backs away, she has to point at the discoloration on her chest and proudly announce that they’re hickeys. Yeah, all middle schoolers give those to themselves with lipstick tubes. I’m not the only one to think that she’s being an immature little shit doing this, because someone calls her out (they state she’s acting like a high schooler, though). She, of course, mocks that. And then has to clarify to the next person yet again that she is, indeed, the world’s worst cosplay of Sully.
35:22 She asks who June Bates is. I’m assuming this is the ‘Judy Bates’ someone recommended earlier. Whoever this is should give up, because AL recommends things to us plebs, not the other way around.
35:38 Someone calls her out on referencing Chantal when Chantal’s made it clear that she doesn’t like her. AL is blindly stabbing at her salad, chewing with her mouth open and practically dribbling ranch covered lettuce everywhere. She says that just because someone doesn’t like her doesn’t mean that she doesn’t like them. See Becky for a demonstration of the inverse lol
I am dead, because she just stated what I just stated. After a moment of second-guessing herself as to whether or not she stated that correctly, she says ‘just because someone likes me doesn’t mean that I like them.’ BWAHAHAHAHAHAH
And someone just called her out on eating like a cow. She doesn’t deny it and keeps comping away like an animal with a multi-segmented stomach.
36:20 Restating shit. She’s 31. F/JFoNY:MGF,W isn’t dressed up. Jokes that Nader and DeeDee live with her now (more Chantal drama shit I don’t get, so whatever). Keeps beating her fucking lame joke into the ground, stating that Nader made her salad and that last night they had raw chicken. Her deadpan tone and glower are very telling that she’s frustrated that HER chat in HER livestream is spiraling into Chantal discussion instead of focusing on HER. She donkey-brays and says she loved her raw chicken shoooo much. Then goes ‘yuuuuuuuuus!’ And states she was indeed just trolling and doesn’t have people tied up in her apartment. No shit, Sherlock.
37:25 Someone asks if we can meet AL’s girlfriend before the wedding. Planet-wide facepalms yet again. There’s not gonna be a wedding, morons. And Jade refuses to be on camera. AL’s reply? “Um… no.” Because we all know F/JFoNY:MGF,W has probably said ‘you show me on camera, we’re through.’
38:07 More dumbassery - clarifies that she doesn’t smoke. And she’s STILL HARPING ON ABOUT THE RANCH. Her audience is so fucking dumb to not realize that this bitch will never admit when she’s wrong and will just keep harping on and on despite the fact that she poured multiple servings onto her salad and therefore has a good deal of sugar on her lettuce.
38:35 Confirms she is the Anti-Christ by stating that she never really watched the Ninja Turtles. Fuck her with a plywood board, that shit was awesome. She holds up her bowl whining about how she’s so hungry and holy fuck, she’s already polished off 3/4 of that shit. Less than 8 minutes. And here’s why she’s an o-beast - she doesn’t slow down to savor her food. At all. And drowns it in sugar.
39:05 Some good-natured soul is probably trying to point out some actual keto-friendly alternatives to ranch, bringing up buffalo chicken dip. AL’s eyes practically sparkle with desire and she looks off-screen with the ‘Mommy, can I have it?’ look every fucking toddler ever plasters on his or her parent.
39:15 ‘Have you thought about starting a family’ LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL She says ‘don’t make me cry right now, please.’ Because OH, she can’t have her OWN little gorl since her uterus was yeeted! And, you know, the whole lesbian thing and all. Hash. Then someone is still bringing up food items she could have, like a boiled egg and shit. It sounds like there’s a hoard of feeders in her chat that’re trying to keep her stuffing her face, because she’s whining about being huuuuungreeeeeeee.
This vapid dipshit is still on about the ‘Nader in the closet’ joke and giggling to off-camera Jade. Fucking child, I swear.
39:50 She loudly blurts out, questioning if we would like to try his food. For real. Because it’s food, and it’s the center of her universe, and that’s probably all she can focus on right now. Or ever. She admits to really wanting a few things he’s made, but some of the things he’s made don’t seem appetizing to her. Specifically, she goes off about the zucchini in a meatloaf. Says ‘that’s not how we have it over here’ and holy shit, her making assumptions based on her own very limited experiences.
40:30 Someone in chat is my fucking hero, because they tell her to ‘literally, close your damned mouth.’ She doesn’t even realize she’s chewing with her mouth open like a damned horse. So what does she do? Deliberately chomps away with her mouth sagging open and says ‘wow, I love that for me.’ Yes, of course you do. Because you’re a cunt. She even says that she’s sorry with her mouth full, and is chewing with her mouth open more aggressively than before. Because now it’s purposeful because it’s been pointed out.
41:17 Stupid off-camera conversation. She’s bitching about how she’s hungry, and asks F/JFoNY:MGF,W if she is. Then huffily snorts ‘Okay, dainty,’ because F/JFoNY:MGF,W probably sensibly said ‘nope,’ because buy the sounds of the muffled mutters off-camera earlier, she was also eating, and has probably finished her dish, and took time to savor some of it and is digesting and letting her body register that her stomach is full and send those signals of satiation to her brain.
41:32 Now she has to shake a water bottle at us of what looks like apple juice or a dehydrated Sailor’s piss (because when standing watch in the engineering spaces without a urinal, Sailors do… questionable things. Like truck drivers and Amazon delivery dudes). She says it’s orange vanilla flavoring mixed in water, because fuck just having water. That she is drinking SoOoOoOoO much of. Someone tells her to let her food digest, and she’s like ‘you’re right’ but she’s still whining about wanting more food.
41:59 I want to slap her lips right off her face because she does that rapid-fire lip-smack that sets my nerves on fire. Tumbler drained. Fingers are getting fluffy. Glass is getting refilled, though. The bottle has about 1 more glass left in it before I have to crack open another. I have a bottle of Pinot Grigio on standby.
42:05 Trolls are happily coming out. Someone tells her that the jaundice really goes with her makeup lol. She just tries to roll with it. She states that they checked her liver, and she had every organ checked. She’s HeAlThY, just BiG.
42:25 States she doesn’t have a nodule (then gets distracted talking bout the water flavoring type siFUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOU).
42:36 Someone asks if keto affects your shit. She says ‘maybe! That’s a secret.’ Otherwise spoken ‘yes.’
42:47 A delusional o-beast congratulates her on her weightloss. She’s all happy at being praised by another land whale and given another super chat.
43:18 After a significant amount of time staring at her chat, she just blurts out that she does not watch April Lauren. Pity. She could pick up tips on how to (un)convincingly (falsely) show her (fake) weightloss. She says that Ape isn’t interesting to her, because she’s not funny or super entertaining. I dunno, AL, the fact that she fakes the shit out of her fitness bullshit and fakes her weightloss is rather funny. Kind of like you.
43:35 Totally out of ideas, she wants to show off her globe. She goes ‘okay, fine, you guys begged enough.’ It was probably, like, 1 person. If that. The fact that she keeps going on about how ‘you guys begged so much’ cements it for me that nobody was really asking for it. She just wanted to humblebrag that she’s 3/4 of the way done with this shit. She giggles like a drunken hyena when she plunks it down in front of herself and starts spinning it around like a child. I’m taking the opportunity to drink some tasty goodness while she prattles on about this bullshit.
44:22 Someone asks if her arms are okay. She says they’re fine, she just suffers with exhortation disorder. AKA: I like to pick my scabs and looked it up so it sounds convincing. Plus I heel slowly due to my undiagnosed and forever unmentioned uncontrolled diabetes.
44:45 Fuck, someone mentioned that she needs more purple lipgloss (because she’s licked and smacked that shit right into oblivion) so she took that as a cue that we’re interested in what she’s slathering her fucking face with. So she shows us that she actually put eyeshadow on her fucking lips. She’s been eating eyeshadow off her lips. She reapplies that shit on camera while singing some lame song.
45:35 Now this immature cunt is holding her makeup shit in front of her face to keep her voice from reaching the camera microphone so she can talk with off-camera Jade, who laughs in the background. Just the kind of shit your audience wants out of a livestream, dipshit. She then starts trying to ask us if we know something, but then goes ‘nope, I was going to ask you guys to do research for me, but I’ll just do it myself.’ So that way she can claim credit for being right, and not have to acknowledge that the people who watch her can tell their assholes from their mouths (I know some can’t, but still). This boring bitch is making duck-lips at her camera as she smears eyeshadow on her lips, and I am bored and drunk. She blasts my eardrums with a squeal as she discovers that the shade she’s been using apparently changes colors, and is distracted changing the angle light strikes her pallet at so she can witness this apparently magical phenomenon. Shoot me.
46:30 Oh, now she needs to do some research on something real quick before she speaks out of her ass. This has to involve whispering to off-camera Jade. She has to write it down, and mutters about whether or not she has a pen IT’S NOT A FUCKING MOLMENT YOU EMPTY-HEADED DIPSHIT. It’s embarrassing to think that she was the fastest sperm. She writes her question down, hands it to Jade, who gives her the answer without even bothering to look it up or anything. AL seems flabbergasted that someone could know something right away.
47:01 Now she goes off about finding ‘these things’ at the store. She brings out a jar of Delta 8 gummies. Oh, here I thought that Anti-DrugLynn would be against THC gummies? She looks at the jar, and has to blather ‘So, these are keto’ and then proceeds to wheeze out laughter because she’s so fucking full of herself. Yup, sure are with 3g of carbohydrate per serving. A serving is a single gummy. This bitch ain’t eatin’ a single gummy. She goes ‘well, they’re legal now.’ And then raises the standing desk, leaving only the top of her head showing as she shoves one into her mouth and chews away like a cow. She of course has to squeal ‘we’re beezin’ now, folks!’ And then proclaim that Chantal needs to make merch.
48:40 As if this shit couldn’t get more childish, she’s now passing notes with Jade so they can discuss something without her cluing her audience in. Which of course has distracted her from what she was saying earlier about Chantal and merchandise.
48:52 Gets sidetracked with someone talking about FFG’s chat. AL says she was in FFG’s chat until she realized that she doesn’t like her. And she had to sing that shit out loudly and obnoxiously.
49:17 She says she was just messing with us. She apparently takes these gummies because they’re legal and they get her (distraction bit here because she goes off on a side tangent about how they haven’t hit yet, and this behavior is just her being a natural fuckhead). Now she’s going off about how she and her psychiatrist are messing with her meds. So this retarded intellect-vacuum has decided to mask the effectiveness of her SSRIs with THC in Delta 8 gummies, despite everything online saying ‘don’t do this shit because it reduces your doctor’s ability to hone in on your meds, dumbass.’ She says she’s going through manic episodes thanks to the fuckery with her meds, then giggles at a comment where someone said she’s just having melatonin.
50:18 Moment to refill the glass with the last of the Moscato because AL is busily praising her moderator for being a deletin’ jannie all up in her shit chat. And then she has to clarify YET AGAIN that she’s Sully from Monster’s Inc.
50:30 Now our Anti-DrugLynn is talking about how good Delta 8 is. She has a friend in another state (says she has a lot of friends, which is a lie - but then clarifies that it’s all ‘friends’ on YouTube) where weed is legal and she wanted to smoke less, so AL recommended Delta 8 gummies to her. Which means this bitch has been doing this shit for a while. (Moment pause - someone said her lips are too tiny for her lipstick and she is a giggly mess) So apparently her ‘friend’ was ‘shook’ and apparently she’s stating that it’s something like a nicotine patch.
52:00 AL is trying to usurp Chantal’s game. Everything is beezin’. It’s only mildly less annoying than her normal lexicon of stupidity. Then she chats with Jade about wanting her to do what is written on her stupid note right-the-fuck-now. Nobody cares, AL. Least of all Jade who gives no fucks. There’s more childish whispering nonsense. I am sobbing because there’s nearly 2 hours of this shit left and only one more bottle waiting for me after this shit in the glass is gone.
52:30 AL proclaims she has random anxiety so yeah, sure, whatever, I believe you. Like I believe in Santa Claus. And the Easter Bunny. And in Keffels’ good intentions with underage boys. And in the purity of the Ranch.
52:49 Still going on about beeze while pawing at her hair.
53:00 Now she’s going off about having just had pneumonia. And doubles back to the fact that she picks at her arms, because people are bringing it up. Again.
53:17 I am dying of laughter, because someone just commented ‘DoorDash drivers don’t count as friends’ LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL AL whines that one hurt bolth her and F/JFoNY:MGF,W and it’s beautiful.
53:43 Someone asks when she’s going to do YouTube shorts and she has no idea what she’d even do.
53:52 FUCK MY EARDRUMS ARGH She got close to the camera, eye-fucked herself and then squealed at the top of her lungs as she suddenly thought to ‘make (her) lips big’. More damned makeup time.
54:03 Someone just told her that Delta 8 is a placebo and she’s about to roll her eyes out of her head lol. Then has to tell her chat yet again that she’s Sully.
54:35 ‘Make the lips big like your body’ someone chatted lol. She looks /so/ dissatisfied with that. She just lamely mutters ‘okay.’ And then goes on with that lip injection shit that she got at Ulta the other vlog. Because fuck actually doing lipliner and shit, amirite? Has to have her audience decide if she’s going to smear this lip plumper crap over top of the eyeshadow on her lips or not. There were apparently a goodly amount of 2s at first, but then the 1s screamed in, so fuck you, AL, plaster that shit on top of your eyeshadow-coated lips. Which she does.
56:34 She’s smeared it on both lips and is looking pretty miserable. Yet again, people ask her if she’s seen Alex is Shook’s costume. Yet again she says she loves it. And she has to keep coopting Chantal by stating that she’s beezin’ real hard right now, then cackles like a fucking loon. She caps her stupid lip plumper shit and says she was going to put more as she licks and sucks at her lips, likely trying to get any and all mystical flavor off those skinny slivers of flesh on her face, and then goes back to reading her chat silently. So exciting.
57:10 Now she’s getting truly flustered. She snarls out that the arm wounds are from her picking that shit off. Except she says excoriation because she doesn’t want to be obvious to any and all that she likes to pick scabs. My drunk ass is getting distracted by my cat chasing her tail as AL is whining at her audience to look it up rather than just explaining herself clearly.
57:25 Mentions of the hot chip challenge. I would love to see that. I’ve done it. It not only tastes bad, but it is not exactly comfortable. All that spiciness for the tiniest payoff ever. Disappointing, really. AL is griping about her tingly lips, then randomly asks the chat if she has dandruff because she keeps plunking her head down in front of the camera. No worries, the grease is cementing your dandruff to your scalp, AL.
57:45 Now AL shakes her lip plumper at F/JFoNY:MGF,W and asks her to put some of it on. F/JFoNY:MGF,W asks repeatedly what it is, which makes me believe that she’s not as involved in the creating of AL’s recent videos as she was in the past, and is steadfastly ignoring everything her blubbery roommate is doing in her life.
58:09 Al proclaims to her chat that she loves hot food. Except all she ever has is sriracha, which is what I train goblins on when they’re miniature beasts. Get something actually spicy, AL. Come talk to me when we can have an intelligent conversation about the nuances of the flavor of ghost peppers and why they’re actually terrible when compared to the tangy and savory deliciousness of reapers, and how the habanero trumps all with its shockingly sweet and scrumptiously smooth taste that just tickles the tongue just right.
58:14 AL is bitching about how her entire body is tingly from the lip injector. F/JFoNY:MGF,W asks her why the actual fuck she wants to inflict this pain on other people. AL goes ‘because I want /you/ to feel it!’ Because she’s a fucking child. AL then pauses and realizes that it functions by causing an inflammatory reaction with your skin, and goes ‘I don’t know why I buy that.’ Then she checks her lips in her camera, and squeals ‘it works, alright!’ Except I see no difference at all. Someone lambasts her for eating the lip plumper lol
59:24 Gah, someone says she should be Sully-Queen and AL’s questioning if she should have a crown. Shoot me. Pinot is go.
1:00:00 AL has to lean over to have a discreet conversation with Jade yet again about what Sully reminds her of, because she says people might be offended by what she’s going to say. AL, what the fuck ever.
1:00:15 The trolls in her chat question if F/JFoNY:MGF,W would feel the burn if AL kissed her. AL instantly wants to entice her into a kiss because, as previously stated a plethora of times, she’s a fucking child. She covers the camera lens with her fat meat mitten and there’s kissing sounds. AL asks if she feels anything, and Jade says ‘no.’ Like nothing at all lol
1:01:11 Tips and tricks for how to help with constipation. I’ll help ya! Drink. A lot. It’ll loosen you right up. AL just stares off-camera and asks F/JFoNY:MGF,W for tips and tricks. F/JFoNY:MGF,W says ‘water’ and AL says Starbucks coffee. Then off-camera Jade says Taco Bell and Chipotle will do it too. AL laughs her ass off and tries to spell some shit. She’s cackling too hard for me to catch it.
1:02:10 Someone says she’s doing a Chantal role-play. AL says she should’ve been Chantal for Halloween. Wouldn’t that involve her dropping like a hundred pounds or something? Then she goes on about how she would’ve gone down a long road and eaten Burger King.
1:03:08 She’s seen Jeffery Dahmer.
1:03:14 ‘How does it feel having a bigger BMI than IQ?’ LOL She stares blankly at the screen for a solid 6 seconds before professing ‘No! My IQ is higher.’ Press X to doubt.
1:03:30 After stating she wouldn’t wear something I couldn’t understand, yet another person says she’s obsessed with Chantal, and she goes ‘nope’ and then says that Chantal is something ‘we all can relate on.’ Here I am going ‘uh, no, actually.’ But whatever.
1:03:45 Apparently she has the same sweater and shit as Chantal and got it on the same day as her.
1:03:54 Her ankle balls are still swollen.
1:04:07 Someone asks if she’s going to slay the reindeers this season, and I’m wondering if her audience is also vapid as shit or high. Or both. She giggles and says ‘yes.’
1:04:17 She talks about pneumonia and says you can have it without knowing, and you may not even have a fever. Yes, AL, that’s commonly called ‘walking pneumonia’. She thinks it’s weird.
1:04:30 Fuck these are coming quickly now. She says she stopped drinking because any time she’d drink, she’d get to the point of throwing up, because the Queen of Moderation doesn’t know how to Moderate her intake.
1:04:47 And now someone just told her that it’s called ‘walking pneumonia’ and she’s astonished because she never knew such a thing existed.
1:05:17 Well, AL succeeded in infesting her gorlfrend with her stupid tingly lip plumper. She’s delighted at Jade’s misery.
1:05:25 Thought on DeathByJen descending to her private Chaffle-Hell. AL says she couldn’t stop crying when she found out. F/JFoNY:MGF,W had to comfort her because she was suddenly faced with the fact that fat kills. She starts fake-crying about how DeathByJen just wanted a YouTube channel but people were SoOoOoO mEaN!!!! And she was fighting to just be accepted! Someone calls out AL’s terrible acting, and all her faux attempts at almost-crying are instantly gone and she proudly blurts ‘if I’m acting, I need to be starring alongside Angelina Jolie.’ She keeps going and says ‘it hit different.’ Talks about how they used to be friends until she was a cunt in Chantal’s chat about the weight difference between Chantal and Jen, which apparently hurt Jen’s feelings. AL keeps going on about how it ‘just hit different’ (probably because she died as FAT and she’s going to face death by FAT as well). No, goes altruistic and says she was thinking about Gene and how he must be feeling so bad right now. AL says that Jen was just SO NICE (lololololol see her thread if you believe this, good Farmers - she was not nice at all). AL prattles about Jen being the first person to tell her that she may be losing weight due to cancer, and they bonded over that.
1:08:33 GO HERE. RARITY IS ADORABLE. THIS SINGLE MOMENT IS ALL YOU NEED OF THIS SHIT. She is cute-mewing for attention and her cunty owner is ignoring her because her screen turned off and she’s more worried about that than her fur baby.
Even though she can’t read the chat, she keeps prattling. Then she announces that her laptop died. Because dipshit didn’t check to see if she had the lightning bolt over the fucking battery symbol at the top right side of the monitor to verify it was charging. Or she’s running it strictly on battery and didn’t bother looking at her battery life, like, ever. Dipshit. She does acknowledge her cat, but only because she leans back as she weebles and wobbles about trying to situate herself once more now that she’s plugged her laptop in and bumped into her fluffy self. The cat gets tired of waiting and goes away while AL plunks her password in.
1:09:40 Fucking hell, someone just asked about the stupid globe. Again. She brings it back. Again.
1:10:04 What’s Twinkie up to? Laying there. Being lazy. Then someone points out that the globe is upside down, which is a no-brainer.
1:10:42 Someone asks if she’d house Peetz and the cats. More Chantal shit, whatever, but she says she would. Then more’ve the same - Jade did not dress up. AL explains that she’s dressed up every year for Halloween except last year because she was feeling shy about it. Sure, whatever. Then she reiterates that she’d take Chantal’s cats and they’d go to the ‘vetsies’ and they’d have little ‘siblin’s’ and then proclaims that Rarity would get along fine with other cats, but Wasabi doesn’t like other male cats. No consideration of what the new cats would do. There’d probably be fights and pissing everywhere.
1:11:53 Someone calls her out stating ‘you can’t even take care of your own animals.’ She bitterly proclaims that she does. Past videos of Twinkie’s nails would like to argue with you, AL. So would past videos of that obese little porker. Jade cares for her, not you. And Jade empties the cats’ litter box, not you. Shaddup.
1:12:18 Al gets called out for trying to throw shade. She squeals that she wasn’t throwing shade, she was ‘just sayin’’ which is yes, she was definitely throwing shade.
1:12:24 Favorite underrated Halloween candy. She doesn’t understand what a Halloween candy is, because she says they’re all the same. F/JFoNY:MGF,W states that it’s candy you get on Halloween. She then says Reeses (pronounced like she’s a retard who’s never been among humans before, of course) that’s shaped like a pumpkin. Except that’s not underrated. They’re talking Smarties, Candy Corn (of which there are 8,000,000,000 flavors), eyeball-style gumboils and the like. What a moron. Then AL just rolls her eyes as Jade explains that she can’t get those Reeses candies, and says ‘Oh my god, what is keto’ and looks upset as fuck. Probably because she’s been wanting candy and can’t have any.
Then she has to explain again that she’s Sully.
1:13:12 And she explains yet again that no-one there has kids so there are no trick or treaters. Then someone asks if she made the shirt - no, it was a Torrid IT’S NOT A FUCKING MOLMENT FOR FUCK’S SAKE, YOU VAPID CUNTCICLE!!!! Followed up with her response to another chatter that she doesn’t pronounce anything properly, as they were probably pointing out that she can’t say Sully to save her fucking life.
1:13:44 Someone states that AL probably ate all the candy herself lol She unleashes with a heavy, sad sigh and whines ‘yeah, I wish.’ We know you wish.
1:13:55 Someone asks if she’s decorating for Christmas the day after Halloween. She just laughs and cackles like a drunken loon over that. She says they want to, but she wanted to save it for Vlogmas so she doesn’t know what to do. She leaves it up to the audience. The audience disappoints her by not being a bunch of cum-sucking heathens and telling her to wait until December 1st.
1:14:55 Gets distracted by something outside. She thought it was a bat. Jade basically tells her she’s a moron.
1:15:34 ‘This is a free chat situFUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOU’ I swear, I’d pay Jade a solid 1K to throat-punch this waste of jizz every time she says this shit. Someone calls her HallucinationLynn and she cackles.
1:16:00 So apparently a lot is happening the day after Halloween. She was supposed to be in Oklahoma.
1:16:15 Now she’s cackling over people talking about Keto Hallucinations and asking about keto candy. My brain is suffering. I am refilling my glass. Oof.
1:16:20 Gets distracted about the bird outside her window again. Says it’s gray. Says it isn’t a bird because the birds around her place are red. Those are called cardinals, you dipshit. And female cardinals can be nearly gray. There’s also the titmouse, which has a similar body structure but is overall gray. In fact, looking at the 25 most common birds in Kentucky, 14 of them have gray or diluted winter plumage which can appear to be gray. So far as bats are concerned, there’s two species of bats that are gray in Kentucky, and both are limited to cave systems in the northern and easternmost areas of the state. They don’t appear in Lexington. Brown bats appear in Lexington. You fucking dipshit. I once again question Jade’s sanity for sticking with this gravel-brained chipmunk.
These two idiots go giggling about something Twinkie did and don’t share.
1:17:02 Someone calls her out, saying ‘I hate when she’s like this, trying so hard.’ She says this is her naturally and she rejoices that we don’t know her. Which is why she has ‘friends’ because she’s not genuine, and neither are any of them. She squeals like a fucking squeaky toy at Twinkie trying to get her to come, and Twinkie looks at her and ignores her command.
1:17:58 Asks if her lips look bigger. Nope. Not to me. Her chat apparently doesn’t answer - instead, someone asks what she’s dressed as again lol. Someone states that the bird outside might’ve been a pigeon.
1:18:35 She’s run out of ideas and asks her audience what she should do.
1:18:50 Tiny talk about Twinkie being really friendly in a barking-her-face-off-neurotic-dog kinda way.
1:19:16 Someone asks about her fake manic episodes. She says she was talking with F/JFoNY:MGF,W that she could go unmedicated if it wasn’t for the lows. She says that the manic episodes she enjoys those. She says she’s happy and energized and creative and productive and enjoys life, and that right there tells you she’s not Bipolar. She says the only downfall of her mania is that she spends more money. Says that because of her lows, she needs medication, but she knows people out there that go unmedicated period for their bipolar disorders.
1:20:55 One thing that makes her truly happy is her fur babies. So her untrimmed nails on Twinkie and her uncleaned litter boxes and Wasabi’s mats. No, she’s focused on the pleasure her pets being near her grants her. Because they’re accessories.
Fucking hell. Still explaining that she’s Sully.
1:22:22 What she’s reading and writing. She’s not reading anything. Writing, she’s just journalling. F/JFoNY:MGF,W mutters in ‘your book’ and AL looks confused for a moment before she starts chewing on her hair and then brings the book back out that she brought out earlier.
1:23:10 Rehashing Ozempic again. Because she’s out of shit to talk about and her audience isn’t providing anything new.
1:23:31 Says she won’t read from her book because it’s too sad. Then starts talking about starting the movie ‘Abandoned’ and it has Emma Roberts in it. Whatever. Then talks about having gall stones since she was 22. This is fucking exhilarating.
1:24:15 What is she doing for Halloween? Livestream! Nothing else!
1:24:28 Someone asks if she knows her rising sign. That’s assuming she has any interest in something that’s not edible. She confirms that she knows nothing about that shit. If she had any intellectual interests, I would congratulate her on avoiding the stupidity that is astrology. But she has no intellectual interests, so I shall just point and laugh at her being a completely hollow shell of a person with zero interests, even funny pseudoscience ones.
1:24:34 Someone gripes about the amount of time they’ve wasted watching her.
1:24:47 I think astrology person is trying to figure out what her rising sign is, but AL confirms that she doesn’t know what time she was born, and even her mother can’t answer that question, likely due to being high on Meth at the time.
1:25:05 She’s watched Justine doing tarot readings, but they’re always wrong so she doesn’t believe in them anymore. Which implies that once she believed in them. Her audience is actually complaining about being bored, and she gives no fucks. She blathers on and on about tarot readings and how tarot channels are so wrong and shit.
1:26:10 Once again asks her audience what she should be doing because she’s boring and has no ideas. Then she says she’s had sleep paralysis (once in the apartment) and she felt something tickle her hand even though there was nobody in the room. Says it happened ‘in this room’ which is now the office IT’S NOT A FUCKING MOLMENT PLEASE PUT YOUR HEAD IN A VICE AND CLOSE IT.
1:27:08 Someone wants a scary story. AL doesn’t have one. Neither does F/JFoNY:MGF,W. She says that F/JFoNY:MGF,W believes in ghosts, but of course AL doesn’t.
And awaaaaaay we go.
0:00 Before she even says anything, I am appalled at how she looks. Purple dot on her nose, terrible color on her skinny lips that makes her teeth look fucking decayed brown, bad color painted into her eyebrows (that aren’t symmetrical with one another so they look baaaaad). Has either makeup smudges or bruising or something on her chest. Wearing a heinous shirt. I think that the shirt’s supposed to be Sully from Monsters Inc, but this is the laziest getup ever. Hair in Raggedy Ann pigtails. She looks like hot shit. Yikes. Alright, let’s hit play now. She just opens to giggling and comments about looking so bad.
0:13 Mentions she hasn’t done a livestream in forever, but it’s a Halloween FUCK YOU AND YOUR MOLMENT BULLSHIT YOU IGNORANT, BRAINLESS TWAT. Brainless twat shows how brainless she is by attempting to set up her laptop and blasting some advertisement or shit from it. Beautiful, AL, beautiful. She was trying to click on video so she could read the chat on her computer. She stares at her computer as if technology confuses the fuck out of her.
0:43 Perpetual fat wave machine wants to be put into motion via slapping to the moon already, as she personifies her livestream as a ‘she’ (because totes a lesbeeeeeeaaaaan and shit, y’all). Clicks on it, has the volume blasting so yes, we get to hear her on delay. What a dumbass. And she looks smug as fuck when she’s doing this setup shit, too.
0:53 So, finally set up, she greets us. Again. Finally. Assures us that this is a live situaFUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOU.
I can feel my liver crying in despair and my brain humming in preparation for its alcohol pickling session.
1:11 Someone already asked if she’s drunk She assures us that she’s not, and hasn’t drank since her last livestream in April (except water, whores). F/JFoNY:MGF,W is making her ‘foodsie’ and instead of just keeping it to be dainty and kyuuuuute AL tries to say she says this most retarded iteration of ‘food’ to throw off the Twinkie senses, because apparently the mutt wants food whenever she hears the trigger word of the entirety of Lexington.
1:40 Fuck, getting an idea of what this entire stream will be. She stares, squinty-eyed at her laptop, attempting to read. This long pregnant pause filled with ‘uh… uh…. Um....’ Is interrupted by a squeal of ‘oh, thank you!’ Someone said she looks cute. Which is a lie. AL goes back to the topic of food and says F/JFoNY:MGF,W is making her a salad. AL says she’s been making all her food herself, but apparently F/JFoNY:MGF,W makes food for AL when she decided to do a livestream, which apparently happens when AL gets a wild hair up her butt.
2:20 Someone states that they thought AL was doing a charity (or maybe it’s cherry, I dunno, she enunciates like a mush-mouthed retard) costume. The vapid blubber-puff tilts her head and rapidly flutters her fake eyelashes like she’s having a stroke. She says ‘that would’ve been kyuuuuuute but no’. Confirms that it’s Sully (which she pronounces as Soulie) after thanking people for super chats (the whole reason for her live-streaming - desperation for money). AL then says that they’re not wearing complimentary (or as she calls it, cohesive) costumes. F/JFoNY:MGF,W is too classy to dress up, apparently. But apparently she’s wearing a green shirt situFUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOU and has proclaimed she’s an olive.
3:00 Another person says she looks like a big cherry. I dunno where these people are getting ‘cherry’ from ‘dipshit in a blue and purple spotted shirt with a smudge of purple shit on her nose and purple mismatched eyebrows’. It boggles my mind, and it’s not even humming with alcohol poisoning yet. Someone chimes in that they’re obsessed with the eyebrows - AL giggles and says thanks. This person who said this must be either a troll or legally blind. AL says ‘I look craaaaazyyyyyy! Oh my gosh, it’s so funny.’ No, you don’t look crazy. You look like a dipshit who can’t apply cosmetics to save your soul. Please expand your lexicon, dipshit. Not every look is crazy.
3:18 Someone asks if she’s going to address the rumors that she’s cheating on Wipey. What the fuck? That’d involve AL actually leaving the apartment without Wipey escorting her. Lolz to that. F/JFoNY:MGF,W sounds in from off-screen going ‘You’re cheating on me?’ To which AL says ‘noooooo.’ AL grumbles about how she doesn’t cheat.
3:35 Instagram name: velvet.and.honey
3:48 AL has to announce that they don’t get trick or treaters. She says it’s because there’s nothing but young 20 year olds without children where she lives.
4:09 Is she meeting Chantal? Lolz nope.
4:27 AL goes on to say that she did have purple blush, but I guess it faded with her rotund face. Also first ever recorded cough. You know, that cough she’s been struggling with for like a month now, apparently. Anyway - she says she covered her blush up with more foundation, because she wasn’t feeling it and cleaning her giant face is too much effort, apparently.
5:00 After being starry-eyed over praise of her janky eyebrows, she gets asked if she’s watched the new Hocus Pocus. To everyone’s shock, she hasn’t. It’s not Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, so F/JFoNY:MGF,W won’t watch it.
5:15 Reveals she’s not friends with any of her neighbors. Says ‘we’ve got each others’ backs type style.’ That’s not a fucking style, you imbecile. Such a fucking retard. Oh, speaking of retarded, someone thought she’s was Blue’s Clues or some shit. C’mon, was the dog spotted purple? I dun think so. AL is flabbergasted. But then excited about it and professes ‘Sully who? I don’t know who that is.’ Numbskull.
5:42 No plan for the livestream - it’s more a Q&A molment and I wanna punch her. She’s of course going to eat during it, because what else would she do? Fuck you, viewers. Fuck you.
5:52 She loved Alex is Shooks costume and showed it to Destiny. I thought they didn’t talk much. Huh.
6:12 More prattling about Halloween costumes. Says ‘yesterday I was Mike’ which confirms that she’s behind in her vlogs again. Way to out yourself, dipshit. She said she was just feeling it and thought it was kyuuuute.
6:35 She doesn’t watch Thrift Thick. And hasn’t weighed herself and isn’t drunk (hasn’t drank since April - because she made a fool of herself and puked her brains out).
7:11 Tumbler emptied because she just simped ‘Faline is my baaaabeeeee’ shaddup. F/JFoNY:MGF,W is just Jade. You know this was in response to some retard who couldn’t figure out that it’s the same fucking dipshit with a new nickname assigned.
7:20 She’s tried to watch Tammy Lemon but found her boring. Says her content isn’t for her, because her videos remind her a lot of her own.
8:00 She doesn’t watch Ilona, either.
8:10 Sharply denies that she’s diabetic. Y’all know this is the fucking hill she’ll die on. She’ll have a foot rot off before she admits to it, but blame that on an unwritten symptom of lipedema/lymphodema or some shit.
8:15 Someone recommends that she tries monjiro (which she then promptly mispronounces as monjaro). I’m assuming this person is referring to dried squid. She says she’s heard of it, but moves on. I dunno if she’s thinking monjiro the food or Monjiro the character from the One Piece anime or some shit. Or if the person’s calling out for monjaro, as in the diabetes drug, you are a marvelous troll, good sir/ma’am.
8:20 Emma Chamberlin - she doesn’t like her? Or dislike her? She doesn’t know who this is, and neither do I, so whatever. Immediately after, someone simps for a return of the Livestream era and fuck them.
8:30 AL wishes they had trick or treaters, but they don’t have any candy anyway. Because she’s hoover down the whole bag all by herself, of course.
8:54 Nut salsa comes up. She says she watches Chantal as if they’ve never been friends, and as if she’s just some random person and blah blah blah. She’s trying to say she watches her anonymously. She also admits to watching reaction channels of Chantal, and that she’s obsessed with her. AL says that she finds her entertaining. But the whole nut salsa thing is apparently ridiculous. She doesn’t think that Chantal was lying about moving, the salsa, etc. AL does admit that she thinks Chantal thinks she’s a sack of shit. AL goes the altruistic route to say “I hope the best for her” and other bullshit. She says she hopes Salle or whatever his name is (I don’t follow Chantal, don’t @ me) is real and they get married and all that shit.
11:30 AL says her health is good. Her lung scare was terrifying.
11:40 Confesses to striking Bottle. Says she did it in good faith. Says she felt it wasn’t okay to take her videos right after uploading and do minimal editing. AL says she doesn’t want any reaction channel removed or demonetized if it’s something they’re enjoying. ‘I can say that from my heart. I’m not that person.’ But she doesn’t think what they’re doing is right. She wants MoRe UnIqUeNeSs.
13:00 Is handed her phone off-screen. Says ‘Oh dear, my father.’ At least, that’s what I heard. Then she says ‘I love you’ and gets back to paying attention to her laptop.
13:10 Other things she’s learned recently (and now she waxes on about bullshit) about Fair Use *INSERT EVERY CENSORABLE WORD UNDER THE FUCKING SUN HERE - she’s using molment and situation type deal just to piss those of us with functioning brains right the hell off like the cuntalicious troll she is*. She says Fair Use is not black and white. Every situation is its own, apparently. She feels that Bottle isn’t properly under the umbrella of Fair Use. AL needs this not to happen! Whaaaa, whaaaa! She can’t explain it because she’s not a lawyer. She says based on what she’s learned, she did it in good faith, blah blah blah. Then she admits to striking two channels - Bottle and Apathetic Fax. Which we already knew about. She then whines that reaction channels have harassed her for years, but she didn’t strike any of them, you retards! She likes some of them! Loathes some of them. Never, ever, ever ‘have thought to myself’ that she wants to take those channels down. Whatever. Says when she sees a channel takes her content as if it’s theirs that it’s not okay and shit. Except Fax was manipulating the HELL out of it. What’s your excuse there?
15:34 Someone requests the shade of F/JFoNY:MGF,W making AL a salad. She squeals ‘nooooo!’ and promptly moves on. Says they eat a lot of salads (drowned in ranch dressing, of course) and it’s boring. Like the rest of her life.
15:53 Favorite reactors? Alex is Shook. Then goes on to the reactors she watches - Alex is Shook. Then wheezes out a laugh asking if we’re inquiring about her reactors or Chantal’s. Then narcs the fuck out asking if there’s reaction channels to any other YouTuber because she’s only heard of them around her and Chantal. That’s right, you two fat slobs are the center of the YouTube empire, fuckwaffle. She claims that’s not being cocky - no, it’s being narrow-focused and only looking for shit about yourself, dipshit.
16:36 Fake anxiety attack. Don’t care, moving on.
16:43 Claims she and her psychiatrist are messing with her medicine to figure things out with her anxiety and bullshit. Whatever.
16:58 Back to the ‘reaction channels’ inquiry. They wanted to know which of Chantal’s reaction channels she watches, and she immediately says ‘I watch all of them!’ Then she redacts her statement and clarifies that she watches Kaya (excuse me, because I don’t know any of this shit) - and she blathers forever about this shit, mentioning that this reactor used to react to AL and that tainted her opinion of this reactor as a person or some shit, Gary Unfiltered… and she can’t think about anyone else who reacts to Chantal. Then she goes on to her own reactors, which she admits to watching Alex is Shook, Zachary Michael and Kicking Geese. And that’s it. Then she goes on to prattle about Gary and the conspiracy theories and shit. And then waxes poetically about how loves is beautiful and other nauseating shit that has me draining another glass of delicious alcohol.
18:49 AL once again proves that her lexicon is super limited by referring to her look as ‘crazy’ because people are still yammering about her stupid lopsided purple eyebrows.
18:58 Someone asks AL if she thinks Chantal is getting scammed, and I’m rather amused that her livestream is becoming centralized around a different YouTuber. AL just shakes her head and states that she doesn’t know. Says it’s not because it’s Chantal, and this shit can happen to anybody (who doesn’t have more than 3 braincells to clack together). Then someone else tells her that she looks a mess, and she cackles and says that’s the point.
19:41 Opinion on Young Dumb Honey Bun losing subs. She just says ‘It is what it is!’ But she sounds very enthusiastic saying that. Says she doesn’t watch her and can’t watch her (likely because even with her lukewarm IQ, YDHB is mountains above AL in intellectual prowess - and I wouldn’t trust YDHB to figure out how to house a hamster for a week without killing it). Then she gets distracted by someone complimenting her braids, so subject is abandoned so she can preen and run her hands over her greasy as hell hair. Of course, AL likes doing braids where you do just a few little IT’S NOT A FUCKING MOLMENT YOU BLUNDERING BABOON GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH we know it’s because you’re a lazy shitburger. She claims to think its kyuuuuute and thinks it’s kyuuuuuuter like that than with full braids. Probably because full braids would amplify how rotund her fatty face is, and the loose hair helps draw attention away from its spherical shape.
20:20 Thanks someone for a super chat but says that she ‘doesn’t know what (you’re) saying’ so it’s probably something that’d reflect negatively on AL’s little self. Someone asks where she got her shitty hoops and she says she doesn’t know, but probably good old ‘the Amazon’ and suddenly I’m picturing this blubberpotomus floating in the river being nibbled to death by red belly piranhas and am giggling about it.
20:30 Holy fuckdoodles, back to YDHB. AL says YDHB gives her bad vibes.
20:49 Now someone asks her if she’s a blueberry for halloween. That’d be the most bruised blueberry ever, dipshit. AL, you know your costume is fail if so many fucking morons are getting it wrong.
21:07 Favorite show right now. It’s called ‘who gives a fuck’ and it’s produced by DC4L. Nah, she says it’s ‘uuuuuhhhhhhh Grey’s Anatomy’.
21:24 Freaks out because someone said she’s turning 42. LOLZ she won’t live that long, stooge.
21:30 Someone asks if she’s made a butter board and she’s clueless about that. Then says something like ‘shape of the algorithm’ or probably ‘shake up the algorithm’ or something, and she goes ‘yaaaaaaaaaassss’ like a retard. I wish she would pull the fucking butter out of her mouth and enunciate like a normal human being so it’d be easier to transcribe her bullshit. Now she’s saying she watched something and shit about AL. aka: She was watching the first episode of a ‘show’ about her narcissistic ass, because what else would she watch on YouTube? She talks about bias (and is distracted by a super chat asking her to discuss something she mumbled like a retard). Coming back to topic, she says that the first episode of this shit this person ‘started to cater to the wrong audience instead of being non-biased’ and I’m laughing because it’s likely that this person started to call her out on her lies. Funny moment - AL recognizes that it ‘seems a little weird to watch long-ass episodes about yourself, and it may seem a little narcissistic’ BECAUSE IT IS ‘but it’s just interesting.’ So she doesn’t refute that she’s a fucking narc.
23:25 Ooo, someone asks where the fucking weigh in videos she promised are. She looks like she’s constipated as she attempts to think of a response or retort. She legit goes ‘Did I promise weigh-in videos?’ And the world collectively slaps its collective forehead. She just blows it off by saying that she’s noticed she does better when she doesn’t talk about her weight. Repeat collective global forehead slapping, thank you and good night.
23:40 Confirms that she will never tell us what was so soul-crushing that she was sobbing about it continually. Because fuck you, she just wanted sympathy points and didn’t get sufficient quantities to continue dragging it out for more pity. Waaaaaaaahmbulance didn’t come fast enough or with enough asspats to satisfy her. She says she wanted to talk about it, but noooooo (said as cunty as possible). Then she shows us a book (‘Healing Through Words’ by Rupi Kaur) And says that Rupi is one of her most favorite authors, but it’s a guided situFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOU but this is apparently a poet she loves. She said she did the first exercise and it made her cry. She says a part of her wants to share it because CLICKBAIT but no. Says she doesn’t want to talk about, and I quote, ‘legality situation type deal’ (fuck you held at bay just for the direct quote, but barely) and I have finished off my glass. Refill time. I am worried because there’s still 2.25 hours of this shit remaining.
24:50 She loves her a Dr. Seuss IT’S NOT A FUCKING MOLMENT DIPSHIT!!!!! I am losing my fucking shit. There’s not enough alcohol in the world to listen to this fucking twat.
24:55 Anyway, gets back to the book. Says that she’s nervous to share, but won’t share, but wants to share, and wah wah wah. Twinkie is laying in her bed next to AL. Someone recommends she reads Judy Bates (AL looks confused). Yet again she’s asked what she’s dressed as, further confirming how shit her costume is.
25:32 Ah, yes, someone has stated that she’s truly obsessed with herself. AL tries lamely to counter this while eye-fucking herself and rubbing her hair saying she’s not.
25:40 Doesn’t watch ‘Love is Blind’ because she thinks it’s super boring. Then someone calls her out for saying Sully wrong, and she just huffs and states that she’s aware that she speaks like an autistic 2 year old with a cock in her mouth.
25:53 Someone asks if F/JFoNY:MGF,W journals. AL looks confused as if thinking about the habits of other humans is an alien concept to her. She says she journals, but not like her.
26:11 ‘Foodie Beauty rolls, Amberlynn trolls.’ Whoever said that is right. AL acknowledges that this is truth. Someone then asks why she didn’t dress as a McRib (it’s because she’s pauper the US if she gathered enough meat to dress like one a la Lady Gaga, shitlords).
26:30 Addresses Ozempic. She says it’s quite unfortunate, but she had to stop it. Her doctor wanted her to stop taking it because when she got her CT scan they were able to see her gall bladder and she’s very worried because Ozempic can cause pancreatitus and she has gall stones and sludge in her gall bladder, apparently from rapid weight loss. When she heard that AL’s had pancreatic issues before, the doctor pulled the plug. Which confirms that AL (a) has not had a regular doctor for a very, very long time and has never followed up on shit, (b) may not have seen anyone for her pancreas issues before hence why they’re not in her medical record, and (c) likely didn’t have approval to go on Ozempic in the first place. Or she lied about having issues with her pancreas and gall bladder before when questioned because she saw ‘magic weight-loss pill’ and wanted it NAAAAAUUUUUUUWWWWWWW. She continues saying that she’s very upset about being taken off Ozempic. And that she wanted to process the siFUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOU, YOU VAPID WASTE OF CELLS, GO HUG A TREE AND APOLOGIZE FOR WASTING THE FUCKING OXYGEN IT PRODUCES BY BREATHING IT IN AN EFFORT TO POWER NONEXISTENT BRAIN CELLS!!!!!!
Booze.
AL says this isn’t a cycle, she’s just finally listening to her doctor. Then prattles on about having a bad gall bladder.
28:51 Meanwhile the chat is all up on the sludge bullshit. ‘We love a sludge beeze’ and fuck you, we don’t. AL states ‘this is not Chantal’s channel, we don’t beeze over here.’ Then she immediately retracts that by saying, ‘That’s a lie. Me and F/JFoNY:MGF,W, we beeze’ and no one cares, AL. She’s handed a salad from off screen and grins as she shows it off for the camera in its massive bowl stating ‘we about to salad beeze!’ And the booze flows freely. Refill time.
29:04 Sorry, had to refill immediately because dipshit here calls it a situFUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOU because of /course/ she does. It looks like a fucking bagged salad mix with some burnt steak dumped on top of it. Which is exactly what it is. Which she immediately drowns in fucking ranch dressing (like it looks like almost a solid 1/4 cup of that shit poured onto that crap salad). Asks her chat if she has permission to eat, then threatens to block ‘Sofa King’ or whatever the person’s handle is lol. Someone says that the stream wouldn’t be complete without a steak salad, and she actually snort-laughs like the fucking pig she is. Oink oink, piggy.
30:09 Fucking gag me, because she looks off-camera and says ‘Thank you for making this, BT DUBS!’ and F/JFoNY:MGF,W says ‘you’re welcome, baby.’ AL, keep your attention on the fucking audience. No one cares that your house nigger’s shlumping around off-camera. AL off-tune sings about the steak being dry as the Sahara Desert. Which looks to be true, and every sane person gags in unison.
30:30 Distracted again. Decides to talk about her Lego shit. Then is made fun of by someone concerning all the ranch and she digs back in. Because fuck Lego, it’s food time. Of course she crunches away and says ‘this is bomb’ even though she looks pouty as fuck and nowhere near orgasmic glee as she is when she shoves carbs in her face.
31:08 Oh boy, someone points out that her salad isn’t keto. AL stares into it as if it’s betrayed her somehow, squealing at ear-drum rupturing volumes ‘What’s not keto?!!?’ And all of KiwiFarms goes READ YOUR THREAD, NUMBNUTS. She of course mockingly pretends to look for carbs, because Duncey Magoo here hasn’t read the ingredients of ranch dressing. Because that is in fact Hidden Valley Ranch, the 130 calorie per serving variety, which has 1g of sugars plus 1g of added sugar. In fact, sugar is the 4th fucking ingredient in it lolz But she does eventually acknowledge that there’s 1 carb in the ranch. No, dipshit, there’s 1 carb per serving in the ranch. You dumped like 4 servings of that shit onto your salad. She’s still whining that she’s got no carbs, proclaiming that she does have a carrot sliver (which she immediately fucking trolls by calling it a carrot molment after correctly identifying it as something other than a unit of time). Then says that she has red onion, too, ‘so that is probably a carb.’ Fuck this wench. I’d also argue that her lettuce DOES have carbs, because that shit is iceberg. It’s negligible, but if she’s going to be a rocket cunt, so will I. She estimates that in total her salad is 2.5 carbs. I laugh because she dumped far more than 2.5 on in just ranch dressing. She then self-righteously squeals that keto is below 50 carbs a day. And I want to slap her with a huge sign that says ‘GRAMS’ because there’s units of measurement. But it’d make no difference, because she doesn’t understand what measurements are. Reference: every video where she’s tried to read a nutritional information label. Add in her Torrid hauls for good measure.
32:23 More and more people are pointing out that ranch has added sugar, so it’s not keto. And she’s hung up on numbers and carbs and refusing to accept that she’s in the wrong. As is to be expected. Like me refilling my glass yet again. To be expected.
33:02 Someone messages to ‘not take hate from the haydurs’ and she just crunches away in her salad muttering about how haydurs suck. EmpathicLynn out there showing all her good natured goodness.
33:04 Someone mentions that AL looks bigger than ever, and she goes ‘nope, look at 2019 and you’ll think otherwise.’ She prattles on about how it amazes her how hyuuuge she was back then because she has zero self-awareness.
33:37 Oh, funny bit. Someone tells her to come back to the VIP chat, and AL admits that Chantal has her blocked.
33:52 Someone tells her to go to a gay bar. She says ‘that sounds fun’ (considering earlier she waxed on with her superiority attitude about how she hasn’t drank since April, I’m flabbergasted by the whiplash I just experienced).
34:09 LOL So someone tells her to pick another dressing and she goes ‘nah, I’m good.’ Because this is her fucking hill she’s going to die on. RaNcH iS kEtO despite all of its added sugars, you SHITLORDS. MOLMENT. SITUATION. TYPE DEAL. SLAPS, BOMB.
Drank, got myself out of that loop. Sorry.
34:27 OH FUCK YOU, YOU FAT FUCK. She has gone ‘what about those ASMR channels that are literally just this’ and she SCOOTS HER BOWL TO THE CAMERA, HOVERS OVER IT, AND CHEWS LIKE A FUCKING COW IN OUR EARS. You foul cretin!!! Uncultured swine! Go dive head-first off The Henry and put another pothole in Lexington’s streets, asshole!!! To make things worse, when she starts giggling and backs away, she has to point at the discoloration on her chest and proudly announce that they’re hickeys. Yeah, all middle schoolers give those to themselves with lipstick tubes. I’m not the only one to think that she’s being an immature little shit doing this, because someone calls her out (they state she’s acting like a high schooler, though). She, of course, mocks that. And then has to clarify to the next person yet again that she is, indeed, the world’s worst cosplay of Sully.
35:22 She asks who June Bates is. I’m assuming this is the ‘Judy Bates’ someone recommended earlier. Whoever this is should give up, because AL recommends things to us plebs, not the other way around.
35:38 Someone calls her out on referencing Chantal when Chantal’s made it clear that she doesn’t like her. AL is blindly stabbing at her salad, chewing with her mouth open and practically dribbling ranch covered lettuce everywhere. She says that just because someone doesn’t like her doesn’t mean that she doesn’t like them. See Becky for a demonstration of the inverse lol
I am dead, because she just stated what I just stated. After a moment of second-guessing herself as to whether or not she stated that correctly, she says ‘just because someone likes me doesn’t mean that I like them.’ BWAHAHAHAHAHAH
And someone just called her out on eating like a cow. She doesn’t deny it and keeps comping away like an animal with a multi-segmented stomach.
36:20 Restating shit. She’s 31. F/JFoNY:MGF,W isn’t dressed up. Jokes that Nader and DeeDee live with her now (more Chantal drama shit I don’t get, so whatever). Keeps beating her fucking lame joke into the ground, stating that Nader made her salad and that last night they had raw chicken. Her deadpan tone and glower are very telling that she’s frustrated that HER chat in HER livestream is spiraling into Chantal discussion instead of focusing on HER. She donkey-brays and says she loved her raw chicken shoooo much. Then goes ‘yuuuuuuuuus!’ And states she was indeed just trolling and doesn’t have people tied up in her apartment. No shit, Sherlock.
37:25 Someone asks if we can meet AL’s girlfriend before the wedding. Planet-wide facepalms yet again. There’s not gonna be a wedding, morons. And Jade refuses to be on camera. AL’s reply? “Um… no.” Because we all know F/JFoNY:MGF,W has probably said ‘you show me on camera, we’re through.’
38:07 More dumbassery - clarifies that she doesn’t smoke. And she’s STILL HARPING ON ABOUT THE RANCH. Her audience is so fucking dumb to not realize that this bitch will never admit when she’s wrong and will just keep harping on and on despite the fact that she poured multiple servings onto her salad and therefore has a good deal of sugar on her lettuce.
38:35 Confirms she is the Anti-Christ by stating that she never really watched the Ninja Turtles. Fuck her with a plywood board, that shit was awesome. She holds up her bowl whining about how she’s so hungry and holy fuck, she’s already polished off 3/4 of that shit. Less than 8 minutes. And here’s why she’s an o-beast - she doesn’t slow down to savor her food. At all. And drowns it in sugar.
39:05 Some good-natured soul is probably trying to point out some actual keto-friendly alternatives to ranch, bringing up buffalo chicken dip. AL’s eyes practically sparkle with desire and she looks off-screen with the ‘Mommy, can I have it?’ look every fucking toddler ever plasters on his or her parent.
39:15 ‘Have you thought about starting a family’ LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL She says ‘don’t make me cry right now, please.’ Because OH, she can’t have her OWN little gorl since her uterus was yeeted! And, you know, the whole lesbian thing and all. Hash. Then someone is still bringing up food items she could have, like a boiled egg and shit. It sounds like there’s a hoard of feeders in her chat that’re trying to keep her stuffing her face, because she’s whining about being huuuuungreeeeeeee.
This vapid dipshit is still on about the ‘Nader in the closet’ joke and giggling to off-camera Jade. Fucking child, I swear.
39:50 She loudly blurts out, questioning if we would like to try his food. For real. Because it’s food, and it’s the center of her universe, and that’s probably all she can focus on right now. Or ever. She admits to really wanting a few things he’s made, but some of the things he’s made don’t seem appetizing to her. Specifically, she goes off about the zucchini in a meatloaf. Says ‘that’s not how we have it over here’ and holy shit, her making assumptions based on her own very limited experiences.
40:30 Someone in chat is my fucking hero, because they tell her to ‘literally, close your damned mouth.’ She doesn’t even realize she’s chewing with her mouth open like a damned horse. So what does she do? Deliberately chomps away with her mouth sagging open and says ‘wow, I love that for me.’ Yes, of course you do. Because you’re a cunt. She even says that she’s sorry with her mouth full, and is chewing with her mouth open more aggressively than before. Because now it’s purposeful because it’s been pointed out.
41:17 Stupid off-camera conversation. She’s bitching about how she’s hungry, and asks F/JFoNY:MGF,W if she is. Then huffily snorts ‘Okay, dainty,’ because F/JFoNY:MGF,W probably sensibly said ‘nope,’ because buy the sounds of the muffled mutters off-camera earlier, she was also eating, and has probably finished her dish, and took time to savor some of it and is digesting and letting her body register that her stomach is full and send those signals of satiation to her brain.
41:32 Now she has to shake a water bottle at us of what looks like apple juice or a dehydrated Sailor’s piss (because when standing watch in the engineering spaces without a urinal, Sailors do… questionable things. Like truck drivers and Amazon delivery dudes). She says it’s orange vanilla flavoring mixed in water, because fuck just having water. That she is drinking SoOoOoOoO much of. Someone tells her to let her food digest, and she’s like ‘you’re right’ but she’s still whining about wanting more food.
41:59 I want to slap her lips right off her face because she does that rapid-fire lip-smack that sets my nerves on fire. Tumbler drained. Fingers are getting fluffy. Glass is getting refilled, though. The bottle has about 1 more glass left in it before I have to crack open another. I have a bottle of Pinot Grigio on standby.
42:05 Trolls are happily coming out. Someone tells her that the jaundice really goes with her makeup lol. She just tries to roll with it. She states that they checked her liver, and she had every organ checked. She’s HeAlThY, just BiG.
42:25 States she doesn’t have a nodule (then gets distracted talking bout the water flavoring type siFUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOU).
42:36 Someone asks if keto affects your shit. She says ‘maybe! That’s a secret.’ Otherwise spoken ‘yes.’
42:47 A delusional o-beast congratulates her on her weightloss. She’s all happy at being praised by another land whale and given another super chat.
43:18 After a significant amount of time staring at her chat, she just blurts out that she does not watch April Lauren. Pity. She could pick up tips on how to (un)convincingly (falsely) show her (fake) weightloss. She says that Ape isn’t interesting to her, because she’s not funny or super entertaining. I dunno, AL, the fact that she fakes the shit out of her fitness bullshit and fakes her weightloss is rather funny. Kind of like you.
43:35 Totally out of ideas, she wants to show off her globe. She goes ‘okay, fine, you guys begged enough.’ It was probably, like, 1 person. If that. The fact that she keeps going on about how ‘you guys begged so much’ cements it for me that nobody was really asking for it. She just wanted to humblebrag that she’s 3/4 of the way done with this shit. She giggles like a drunken hyena when she plunks it down in front of herself and starts spinning it around like a child. I’m taking the opportunity to drink some tasty goodness while she prattles on about this bullshit.
44:22 Someone asks if her arms are okay. She says they’re fine, she just suffers with exhortation disorder. AKA: I like to pick my scabs and looked it up so it sounds convincing. Plus I heel slowly due to my undiagnosed and forever unmentioned uncontrolled diabetes.
44:45 Fuck, someone mentioned that she needs more purple lipgloss (because she’s licked and smacked that shit right into oblivion) so she took that as a cue that we’re interested in what she’s slathering her fucking face with. So she shows us that she actually put eyeshadow on her fucking lips. She’s been eating eyeshadow off her lips. She reapplies that shit on camera while singing some lame song.
45:35 Now this immature cunt is holding her makeup shit in front of her face to keep her voice from reaching the camera microphone so she can talk with off-camera Jade, who laughs in the background. Just the kind of shit your audience wants out of a livestream, dipshit. She then starts trying to ask us if we know something, but then goes ‘nope, I was going to ask you guys to do research for me, but I’ll just do it myself.’ So that way she can claim credit for being right, and not have to acknowledge that the people who watch her can tell their assholes from their mouths (I know some can’t, but still). This boring bitch is making duck-lips at her camera as she smears eyeshadow on her lips, and I am bored and drunk. She blasts my eardrums with a squeal as she discovers that the shade she’s been using apparently changes colors, and is distracted changing the angle light strikes her pallet at so she can witness this apparently magical phenomenon. Shoot me.
46:30 Oh, now she needs to do some research on something real quick before she speaks out of her ass. This has to involve whispering to off-camera Jade. She has to write it down, and mutters about whether or not she has a pen IT’S NOT A FUCKING MOLMENT YOU EMPTY-HEADED DIPSHIT. It’s embarrassing to think that she was the fastest sperm. She writes her question down, hands it to Jade, who gives her the answer without even bothering to look it up or anything. AL seems flabbergasted that someone could know something right away.
47:01 Now she goes off about finding ‘these things’ at the store. She brings out a jar of Delta 8 gummies. Oh, here I thought that Anti-DrugLynn would be against THC gummies? She looks at the jar, and has to blather ‘So, these are keto’ and then proceeds to wheeze out laughter because she’s so fucking full of herself. Yup, sure are with 3g of carbohydrate per serving. A serving is a single gummy. This bitch ain’t eatin’ a single gummy. She goes ‘well, they’re legal now.’ And then raises the standing desk, leaving only the top of her head showing as she shoves one into her mouth and chews away like a cow. She of course has to squeal ‘we’re beezin’ now, folks!’ And then proclaim that Chantal needs to make merch.
48:40 As if this shit couldn’t get more childish, she’s now passing notes with Jade so they can discuss something without her cluing her audience in. Which of course has distracted her from what she was saying earlier about Chantal and merchandise.
48:52 Gets sidetracked with someone talking about FFG’s chat. AL says she was in FFG’s chat until she realized that she doesn’t like her. And she had to sing that shit out loudly and obnoxiously.
49:17 She says she was just messing with us. She apparently takes these gummies because they’re legal and they get her (distraction bit here because she goes off on a side tangent about how they haven’t hit yet, and this behavior is just her being a natural fuckhead). Now she’s going off about how she and her psychiatrist are messing with her meds. So this retarded intellect-vacuum has decided to mask the effectiveness of her SSRIs with THC in Delta 8 gummies, despite everything online saying ‘don’t do this shit because it reduces your doctor’s ability to hone in on your meds, dumbass.’ She says she’s going through manic episodes thanks to the fuckery with her meds, then giggles at a comment where someone said she’s just having melatonin.
50:18 Moment to refill the glass with the last of the Moscato because AL is busily praising her moderator for being a deletin’ jannie all up in her shit chat. And then she has to clarify YET AGAIN that she’s Sully from Monster’s Inc.
50:30 Now our Anti-DrugLynn is talking about how good Delta 8 is. She has a friend in another state (says she has a lot of friends, which is a lie - but then clarifies that it’s all ‘friends’ on YouTube) where weed is legal and she wanted to smoke less, so AL recommended Delta 8 gummies to her. Which means this bitch has been doing this shit for a while. (Moment pause - someone said her lips are too tiny for her lipstick and she is a giggly mess) So apparently her ‘friend’ was ‘shook’ and apparently she’s stating that it’s something like a nicotine patch.
52:00 AL is trying to usurp Chantal’s game. Everything is beezin’. It’s only mildly less annoying than her normal lexicon of stupidity. Then she chats with Jade about wanting her to do what is written on her stupid note right-the-fuck-now. Nobody cares, AL. Least of all Jade who gives no fucks. There’s more childish whispering nonsense. I am sobbing because there’s nearly 2 hours of this shit left and only one more bottle waiting for me after this shit in the glass is gone.
52:30 AL proclaims she has random anxiety so yeah, sure, whatever, I believe you. Like I believe in Santa Claus. And the Easter Bunny. And in Keffels’ good intentions with underage boys. And in the purity of the Ranch.
52:49 Still going on about beeze while pawing at her hair.
53:00 Now she’s going off about having just had pneumonia. And doubles back to the fact that she picks at her arms, because people are bringing it up. Again.
53:17 I am dying of laughter, because someone just commented ‘DoorDash drivers don’t count as friends’ LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL AL whines that one hurt bolth her and F/JFoNY:MGF,W and it’s beautiful.
53:43 Someone asks when she’s going to do YouTube shorts and she has no idea what she’d even do.
53:52 FUCK MY EARDRUMS ARGH She got close to the camera, eye-fucked herself and then squealed at the top of her lungs as she suddenly thought to ‘make (her) lips big’. More damned makeup time.
54:03 Someone just told her that Delta 8 is a placebo and she’s about to roll her eyes out of her head lol. Then has to tell her chat yet again that she’s Sully.
54:35 ‘Make the lips big like your body’ someone chatted lol. She looks /so/ dissatisfied with that. She just lamely mutters ‘okay.’ And then goes on with that lip injection shit that she got at Ulta the other vlog. Because fuck actually doing lipliner and shit, amirite? Has to have her audience decide if she’s going to smear this lip plumper crap over top of the eyeshadow on her lips or not. There were apparently a goodly amount of 2s at first, but then the 1s screamed in, so fuck you, AL, plaster that shit on top of your eyeshadow-coated lips. Which she does.
56:34 She’s smeared it on both lips and is looking pretty miserable. Yet again, people ask her if she’s seen Alex is Shook’s costume. Yet again she says she loves it. And she has to keep coopting Chantal by stating that she’s beezin’ real hard right now, then cackles like a fucking loon. She caps her stupid lip plumper shit and says she was going to put more as she licks and sucks at her lips, likely trying to get any and all mystical flavor off those skinny slivers of flesh on her face, and then goes back to reading her chat silently. So exciting.
57:10 Now she’s getting truly flustered. She snarls out that the arm wounds are from her picking that shit off. Except she says excoriation because she doesn’t want to be obvious to any and all that she likes to pick scabs. My drunk ass is getting distracted by my cat chasing her tail as AL is whining at her audience to look it up rather than just explaining herself clearly.
57:25 Mentions of the hot chip challenge. I would love to see that. I’ve done it. It not only tastes bad, but it is not exactly comfortable. All that spiciness for the tiniest payoff ever. Disappointing, really. AL is griping about her tingly lips, then randomly asks the chat if she has dandruff because she keeps plunking her head down in front of the camera. No worries, the grease is cementing your dandruff to your scalp, AL.
57:45 Now AL shakes her lip plumper at F/JFoNY:MGF,W and asks her to put some of it on. F/JFoNY:MGF,W asks repeatedly what it is, which makes me believe that she’s not as involved in the creating of AL’s recent videos as she was in the past, and is steadfastly ignoring everything her blubbery roommate is doing in her life.
58:09 Al proclaims to her chat that she loves hot food. Except all she ever has is sriracha, which is what I train goblins on when they’re miniature beasts. Get something actually spicy, AL. Come talk to me when we can have an intelligent conversation about the nuances of the flavor of ghost peppers and why they’re actually terrible when compared to the tangy and savory deliciousness of reapers, and how the habanero trumps all with its shockingly sweet and scrumptiously smooth taste that just tickles the tongue just right.
58:14 AL is bitching about how her entire body is tingly from the lip injector. F/JFoNY:MGF,W asks her why the actual fuck she wants to inflict this pain on other people. AL goes ‘because I want /you/ to feel it!’ Because she’s a fucking child. AL then pauses and realizes that it functions by causing an inflammatory reaction with your skin, and goes ‘I don’t know why I buy that.’ Then she checks her lips in her camera, and squeals ‘it works, alright!’ Except I see no difference at all. Someone lambasts her for eating the lip plumper lol
59:24 Gah, someone says she should be Sully-Queen and AL’s questioning if she should have a crown. Shoot me. Pinot is go.
1:00:00 AL has to lean over to have a discreet conversation with Jade yet again about what Sully reminds her of, because she says people might be offended by what she’s going to say. AL, what the fuck ever.
1:00:15 The trolls in her chat question if F/JFoNY:MGF,W would feel the burn if AL kissed her. AL instantly wants to entice her into a kiss because, as previously stated a plethora of times, she’s a fucking child. She covers the camera lens with her fat meat mitten and there’s kissing sounds. AL asks if she feels anything, and Jade says ‘no.’ Like nothing at all lol
1:01:11 Tips and tricks for how to help with constipation. I’ll help ya! Drink. A lot. It’ll loosen you right up. AL just stares off-camera and asks F/JFoNY:MGF,W for tips and tricks. F/JFoNY:MGF,W says ‘water’ and AL says Starbucks coffee. Then off-camera Jade says Taco Bell and Chipotle will do it too. AL laughs her ass off and tries to spell some shit. She’s cackling too hard for me to catch it.
1:02:10 Someone says she’s doing a Chantal role-play. AL says she should’ve been Chantal for Halloween. Wouldn’t that involve her dropping like a hundred pounds or something? Then she goes on about how she would’ve gone down a long road and eaten Burger King.
1:03:08 She’s seen Jeffery Dahmer.
1:03:14 ‘How does it feel having a bigger BMI than IQ?’ LOL She stares blankly at the screen for a solid 6 seconds before professing ‘No! My IQ is higher.’ Press X to doubt.
1:03:30 After stating she wouldn’t wear something I couldn’t understand, yet another person says she’s obsessed with Chantal, and she goes ‘nope’ and then says that Chantal is something ‘we all can relate on.’ Here I am going ‘uh, no, actually.’ But whatever.
1:03:45 Apparently she has the same sweater and shit as Chantal and got it on the same day as her.
1:03:54 Her ankle balls are still swollen.
1:04:07 Someone asks if she’s going to slay the reindeers this season, and I’m wondering if her audience is also vapid as shit or high. Or both. She giggles and says ‘yes.’
1:04:17 She talks about pneumonia and says you can have it without knowing, and you may not even have a fever. Yes, AL, that’s commonly called ‘walking pneumonia’. She thinks it’s weird.
1:04:30 Fuck these are coming quickly now. She says she stopped drinking because any time she’d drink, she’d get to the point of throwing up, because the Queen of Moderation doesn’t know how to Moderate her intake.
1:04:47 And now someone just told her that it’s called ‘walking pneumonia’ and she’s astonished because she never knew such a thing existed.
1:05:17 Well, AL succeeded in infesting her gorlfrend with her stupid tingly lip plumper. She’s delighted at Jade’s misery.
1:05:25 Thought on DeathByJen descending to her private Chaffle-Hell. AL says she couldn’t stop crying when she found out. F/JFoNY:MGF,W had to comfort her because she was suddenly faced with the fact that fat kills. She starts fake-crying about how DeathByJen just wanted a YouTube channel but people were SoOoOoO mEaN!!!! And she was fighting to just be accepted! Someone calls out AL’s terrible acting, and all her faux attempts at almost-crying are instantly gone and she proudly blurts ‘if I’m acting, I need to be starring alongside Angelina Jolie.’ She keeps going and says ‘it hit different.’ Talks about how they used to be friends until she was a cunt in Chantal’s chat about the weight difference between Chantal and Jen, which apparently hurt Jen’s feelings. AL keeps going on about how it ‘just hit different’ (probably because she died as FAT and she’s going to face death by FAT as well). No, goes altruistic and says she was thinking about Gene and how he must be feeling so bad right now. AL says that Jen was just SO NICE (lololololol see her thread if you believe this, good Farmers - she was not nice at all). AL prattles about Jen being the first person to tell her that she may be losing weight due to cancer, and they bonded over that.
1:08:33 GO HERE. RARITY IS ADORABLE. THIS SINGLE MOMENT IS ALL YOU NEED OF THIS SHIT. She is cute-mewing for attention and her cunty owner is ignoring her because her screen turned off and she’s more worried about that than her fur baby.
Even though she can’t read the chat, she keeps prattling. Then she announces that her laptop died. Because dipshit didn’t check to see if she had the lightning bolt over the fucking battery symbol at the top right side of the monitor to verify it was charging. Or she’s running it strictly on battery and didn’t bother looking at her battery life, like, ever. Dipshit. She does acknowledge her cat, but only because she leans back as she weebles and wobbles about trying to situate herself once more now that she’s plugged her laptop in and bumped into her fluffy self. The cat gets tired of waiting and goes away while AL plunks her password in.
1:09:40 Fucking hell, someone just asked about the stupid globe. Again. She brings it back. Again.
1:10:04 What’s Twinkie up to? Laying there. Being lazy. Then someone points out that the globe is upside down, which is a no-brainer.
1:10:42 Someone asks if she’d house Peetz and the cats. More Chantal shit, whatever, but she says she would. Then more’ve the same - Jade did not dress up. AL explains that she’s dressed up every year for Halloween except last year because she was feeling shy about it. Sure, whatever. Then she reiterates that she’d take Chantal’s cats and they’d go to the ‘vetsies’ and they’d have little ‘siblin’s’ and then proclaims that Rarity would get along fine with other cats, but Wasabi doesn’t like other male cats. No consideration of what the new cats would do. There’d probably be fights and pissing everywhere.
1:11:53 Someone calls her out stating ‘you can’t even take care of your own animals.’ She bitterly proclaims that she does. Past videos of Twinkie’s nails would like to argue with you, AL. So would past videos of that obese little porker. Jade cares for her, not you. And Jade empties the cats’ litter box, not you. Shaddup.
1:12:18 Al gets called out for trying to throw shade. She squeals that she wasn’t throwing shade, she was ‘just sayin’’ which is yes, she was definitely throwing shade.
1:12:24 Favorite underrated Halloween candy. She doesn’t understand what a Halloween candy is, because she says they’re all the same. F/JFoNY:MGF,W states that it’s candy you get on Halloween. She then says Reeses (pronounced like she’s a retard who’s never been among humans before, of course) that’s shaped like a pumpkin. Except that’s not underrated. They’re talking Smarties, Candy Corn (of which there are 8,000,000,000 flavors), eyeball-style gumboils and the like. What a moron. Then AL just rolls her eyes as Jade explains that she can’t get those Reeses candies, and says ‘Oh my god, what is keto’ and looks upset as fuck. Probably because she’s been wanting candy and can’t have any.
Then she has to explain again that she’s Sully.
1:13:12 And she explains yet again that no-one there has kids so there are no trick or treaters. Then someone asks if she made the shirt - no, it was a Torrid IT’S NOT A FUCKING MOLMENT FOR FUCK’S SAKE, YOU VAPID CUNTCICLE!!!! Followed up with her response to another chatter that she doesn’t pronounce anything properly, as they were probably pointing out that she can’t say Sully to save her fucking life.
1:13:44 Someone states that AL probably ate all the candy herself lol She unleashes with a heavy, sad sigh and whines ‘yeah, I wish.’ We know you wish.
1:13:55 Someone asks if she’s decorating for Christmas the day after Halloween. She just laughs and cackles like a drunken loon over that. She says they want to, but she wanted to save it for Vlogmas so she doesn’t know what to do. She leaves it up to the audience. The audience disappoints her by not being a bunch of cum-sucking heathens and telling her to wait until December 1st.
1:14:55 Gets distracted by something outside. She thought it was a bat. Jade basically tells her she’s a moron.
1:15:34 ‘This is a free chat situFUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOU’ I swear, I’d pay Jade a solid 1K to throat-punch this waste of jizz every time she says this shit. Someone calls her HallucinationLynn and she cackles.
1:16:00 So apparently a lot is happening the day after Halloween. She was supposed to be in Oklahoma.
1:16:15 Now she’s cackling over people talking about Keto Hallucinations and asking about keto candy. My brain is suffering. I am refilling my glass. Oof.
1:16:20 Gets distracted about the bird outside her window again. Says it’s gray. Says it isn’t a bird because the birds around her place are red. Those are called cardinals, you dipshit. And female cardinals can be nearly gray. There’s also the titmouse, which has a similar body structure but is overall gray. In fact, looking at the 25 most common birds in Kentucky, 14 of them have gray or diluted winter plumage which can appear to be gray. So far as bats are concerned, there’s two species of bats that are gray in Kentucky, and both are limited to cave systems in the northern and easternmost areas of the state. They don’t appear in Lexington. Brown bats appear in Lexington. You fucking dipshit. I once again question Jade’s sanity for sticking with this gravel-brained chipmunk.
These two idiots go giggling about something Twinkie did and don’t share.
1:17:02 Someone calls her out, saying ‘I hate when she’s like this, trying so hard.’ She says this is her naturally and she rejoices that we don’t know her. Which is why she has ‘friends’ because she’s not genuine, and neither are any of them. She squeals like a fucking squeaky toy at Twinkie trying to get her to come, and Twinkie looks at her and ignores her command.
1:17:58 Asks if her lips look bigger. Nope. Not to me. Her chat apparently doesn’t answer - instead, someone asks what she’s dressed as again lol. Someone states that the bird outside might’ve been a pigeon.
1:18:35 She’s run out of ideas and asks her audience what she should do.
1:18:50 Tiny talk about Twinkie being really friendly in a barking-her-face-off-neurotic-dog kinda way.
1:19:16 Someone asks about her fake manic episodes. She says she was talking with F/JFoNY:MGF,W that she could go unmedicated if it wasn’t for the lows. She says that the manic episodes she enjoys those. She says she’s happy and energized and creative and productive and enjoys life, and that right there tells you she’s not Bipolar. She says the only downfall of her mania is that she spends more money. Says that because of her lows, she needs medication, but she knows people out there that go unmedicated period for their bipolar disorders.
1:20:55 One thing that makes her truly happy is her fur babies. So her untrimmed nails on Twinkie and her uncleaned litter boxes and Wasabi’s mats. No, she’s focused on the pleasure her pets being near her grants her. Because they’re accessories.
Fucking hell. Still explaining that she’s Sully.
1:22:22 What she’s reading and writing. She’s not reading anything. Writing, she’s just journalling. F/JFoNY:MGF,W mutters in ‘your book’ and AL looks confused for a moment before she starts chewing on her hair and then brings the book back out that she brought out earlier.
1:23:10 Rehashing Ozempic again. Because she’s out of shit to talk about and her audience isn’t providing anything new.
1:23:31 Says she won’t read from her book because it’s too sad. Then starts talking about starting the movie ‘Abandoned’ and it has Emma Roberts in it. Whatever. Then talks about having gall stones since she was 22. This is fucking exhilarating.
1:24:15 What is she doing for Halloween? Livestream! Nothing else!
1:24:28 Someone asks if she knows her rising sign. That’s assuming she has any interest in something that’s not edible. She confirms that she knows nothing about that shit. If she had any intellectual interests, I would congratulate her on avoiding the stupidity that is astrology. But she has no intellectual interests, so I shall just point and laugh at her being a completely hollow shell of a person with zero interests, even funny pseudoscience ones.
1:24:34 Someone gripes about the amount of time they’ve wasted watching her.
1:24:47 I think astrology person is trying to figure out what her rising sign is, but AL confirms that she doesn’t know what time she was born, and even her mother can’t answer that question, likely due to being high on Meth at the time.
1:25:05 She’s watched Justine doing tarot readings, but they’re always wrong so she doesn’t believe in them anymore. Which implies that once she believed in them. Her audience is actually complaining about being bored, and she gives no fucks. She blathers on and on about tarot readings and how tarot channels are so wrong and shit.
1:26:10 Once again asks her audience what she should be doing because she’s boring and has no ideas. Then she says she’s had sleep paralysis (once in the apartment) and she felt something tickle her hand even though there was nobody in the room. Says it happened ‘in this room’ which is now the office IT’S NOT A FUCKING MOLMENT PLEASE PUT YOUR HEAD IN A VICE AND CLOSE IT.
1:27:08 Someone wants a scary story. AL doesn’t have one. Neither does F/JFoNY:MGF,W. She says that F/JFoNY:MGF,W believes in ghosts, but of course AL doesn’t.
And much to my chagrin, there must be a part 2.
