Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[FromTheRiverToTheBeeze]

Another 100 days of weighing in. Thrilled by this content. Can't wait to see how long it'll take for her to still weigh 500lbs.

 

[Vingle]

I don't give a shit about the reactors for the most part. Sometimes I'll put the clip compilation channels on for background noise (my fave Optavia saga being condensed into one vid, for example) but Jordy, Zach, and the like? Meh.

Never really bothered with any reactors either, but Mr. Snowflake is not obnoxious to watch at least. Even his videos can be pretty long.
Best part, he isn't a freak of nature himself.

 

[TardiX]

100 days of reading numbers to the camera instead of getting on the scale

 

[Kier Starmer]

Jesus christ I kid you not this year alone she has had 2 100 days of weighing in in 10 months and look where we are. Also, 19k views in 11 hours are pretty bad for Amber. I honestly think there is nothing she can do now, even if Jade fucks off she will get inflation of views for 2-3 weeks but it is just delaying the inevitable. She tried faking her cancer announcement video and did not even get 80k views FFS.

My partner and I tried watching the recent vid and they said to me "switch it off, this is boring." We watch cooking with Jack for giggles to put it into the context of our mutual cows. We have had no good memes from Amber for years like "Mental things are scary". NOTHING! Your audience is ravenous for content Amber.

 

[Happy Bitch]

Looks like Wifey drove Hamber to Lexington's Mailbu Jack's Indoor Theme Park.
Address: 2520 Nicholasville Rd, Lexington, KY 40503

Since miniature golf is for children, they do not make XXXXXXL sized golfing clubs and Amber cannot use the clubs without choking down really far with her left hand. She really looked like a sped whenever she tried to hit the golf ball.


Snooping around the area, I was shocked to see how many fast food places there are right next to Malibu Jack's. Within a 2,000 ft radius, I counted 19 fast food places.

 

[Teresa77]

JFC Amber at least make it interesting. Get a huge white board, stickers, and colorful pens and write up 500 pounds in various colors and shapes. Throw some glitter on there as well. I mean, we know there isn't going to be any significant change. Might as well make it sparkly and pretty!

 

[Bibbity Bobbity]

For the love of God, and all that is holy, whhyyyyy?

I mean, I don't believe for a minute this will last past a week. But why would you schedule this to include the bacchanalia that surrounds Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's, as well as the run up to Valentine's Day.

A low carb Thanksgiving without stuffing? Heh. Good luck.

 

[Turd Fergusson]

With Thanksgiving, Christmas, her birthday and New Year within her 100 days, I do not think this new 100 days diet will last till the end of the month. We might already quit. She gained and more from the Ozempic era. The keto era did not work for her either. My only question is will she be over or under 500 pounds in 100 days?

At least we can claim that she lost 76 pounds from her highest weight and praise herself for the weight loss.

 

[Insulin reid]

Looks like Wifey drove Hamber to Lexington's Mailbu Jack's Indoor Theme Park.
Address: 2520 Nicholasville Rd, Lexington, KY 40503

Since miniature golf is for children, they do not make XXXXXXL sized golfing clubs and Amber cannot use the clubs without choking down really far with her left hand. She really looked like a sped whenever she tried to hit the golf ball.
View attachment 3851532

Snooping around the area, I was shocked to see how many fast food places there are right next to Malibu Jack's. Within a 2,000 ft radius, I counted 19 fast food places.

Still not wrapping i guess.
At least shes outside.... kinda.

With Thanksgiving, Christmas, her birthday and New Year within her 100 days, I do not think this new 100 days diet will last till the end of the month. We might already quit. She gained and more from the Ozempic era. The keto era did not work for her either. My only question is will she be over or under 500 pounds in 100 days?

At least we can claim that she lost 76 pounds from her highest weight and praise herself for the weight loss.

Ive been a little confused about her "keto era" because she wasnt doing keto was she? It looked to me like low carb but not as intense as keto and she couldnt even handle that. What are we doing currently, counting calories or something?

 

[Chic-fil-a fiend]

Geez, the chemistry between these two is more shit than I thought. That mini golf date looked painfully dull and awkward. And what happened to Amber being scared of covid? Now she’s waddling around walmart “not feeling good” without a mask and touching everything with her balloon hands. And the FUCKING mini brands. She just cant help but have a smaug style hoard of cheap shit at all times, can she? Enjoy, Faline!

 

[caffeinated_pirate]

I just don’t understand. Mini golf requires standing THE ENTIRE TIME. And the way she waddles and holds her club? It obviously took her at least 45 minutes.

I didn’t watch the video, but I’m going to guess she quit halfway through, because it also requires you bending down to pick up your ball.

Why did she choose THAT activity? I’m shook.

 

[Boolean Bitch]

To quote The Wolfe Pit: "I do this so YOU, the people, don't have to!"...

When we last left our Ambiguously Gay Duo, The Keto Qween was single-handedly battling the evil henchman LordyJordy, a footsoldier for the VILLIANOUS SCUM organization of 'Haydur Nation'. The screen was FILLED with energetic action bubbles such as, "BORING!" and "LOL no U!" Ja'Phonie dipped from this shitshow- I mean, skirmish, and was presumably out taking the Twonkstar for walkies (AKA, having a smoke). And now for today's episode: "date night & 100 days of weighing in begins! day 1 | vlog" (alternate title: Ahh, shit. Here we go again)

Spoiler: date night & 100 days of weighing in begins! day 1 | vlog

-- NOVEMBER 3 2022 --

So, we are still a week+ behind... or not. She could be messing with the timeline and splicing new and old content together to make reviewers wrong about her never leaving the house. A sort of 'You don't know what's going on in my life'. I do find it convienent that her content is always behind, yet seems to coincidently immediately respond to criticisms from 'Haydur Nation'. It's as if she's able to predict the future complaints from Haydurs BEFORE THEY HAPPEN. My official opinion on this topic: NO ONE CARES.

"Welcome... to this moment in time". Hmm.. Suspicion of the title cards not matching the actual date intensifies. Amber hasn't been feeling good. She's been getting sick, or super bad allergies. Amber is about to do a Covid test.

************************************************
!!! GRAPHIC IMAGRY WARNING: 1:01 - 1:28 !!!
************************************************

Amber does the nasal swab on camera. Look away if you're squeamish about such things. If you're mostly dead inside like I am, you'll enjoy the image of Amber staring cross-eyed at the swab stuck in her nose. It reminds me of that Harry Potter Philosopher's Stone scene - the troll is in the girl's toilets with Harry's wand stuck up it's nose, and it's just been hit in the head with a club. I have a feeling that this frame of Amber's video might become at least one Avatar for the farms.

You know, Amber claims to be copying what other lifestyle vloggers do, but I've never seen a lifestyle vlogger flap their arms and act like a dramatic moron WHILE SWABBING THEIR NOSE ON CAMERA. Ja'Phonie has to do all of the steps for processing the test, of course. Amber doesn't understand how the test works but still explains it to us, despite her being the only person on the planet who HASN'T had to do an at-home C19 test. Compares it to a pregnancy test. Throws in a pity comment of never having that experience herself. Test is negative.

Jump cut!! Amber claims to have just gotten out of the shower, but didn't wash her hair. She didn't wash her face, chest, or shoulders either, based on the shine. She's getting ready for the day now. She puts on her makeup, naming each product. I'm a moron when it comes to makeup, so I really have nothing of value to add to this section. This was right before she did that thirst-trap tiktok - so, this is after her crying into a tray of Chips Ahoy cookies?

Jump cut!! Feeling so much better a couple of hours later. Amber shows off a stack of presents that Ja'Phonie has already bought for her.

OUT OF THE HOUSE!!: Blair Witch type footage as Amber hurples into the mini golf/arcade building. I'm getting flashbacks to Amber's video where she does mini putt with Becky and the boys. Her size, her awkward shuffle, the ridiculous way she holds the club and flails, all of it. If we didn't hear Ja'Phonie and see random body parts, I would have insisted that this was recycled footage. Even Ja'Phonie sounds shocked at how bad Amber is at this.

SHOPPING!! At Walmart. Looking at 'Jewellry' (tacky plastic earrings). Real reason to be there: to buy bulk packs of 'Toy Mini Brands'.

TWINKIE!!! Jumping for joy at seeing Amber return. Hahaha! As soon as Amber opens their door, Twinkie ignores Amber and makes a beeline for Ja'Phonie!!

HAUL!!! Just a 'smidgle'. Iron, small ironing board, $40 of Toy Mini Brands (but it makes her happy), two Christmas themed pump soap dispensers, and ANOTHER copy of Healing Through Words by Rupi Kaur. Amber states she wants Ja'Phonie to do the prompts so Amber can get Ja'Phonie's 'tea'.

UNBOXING!!! One Toy Mini Brands bubble: miniature toys which lack the functionality of their standard-sized counterparts. They are the size of a quarter, which is "big enough for an ant".

Jump cut!! The end of the night. Shows the corpse of one of the Rebel ice creams. Amber's gallstones aren't happy because Amber just read the package and found the ice cream had 41g of saturated fat. Yeah, what did you think the pork rinds were composed of? So... gallstones only bother her when she reads the labels of the food?

RARITY!! Amber talks through the molment, ruining it.

100 Days of Weighing in. Not really weighing in though. She used the poster board meant for her IG Shrine to make her 100 days of weighing in tracker, and will be writing numbers on it. We won't actually SEE the weigh-ins - like every single other 100 days of weighing in she's ever done. 496.2lbs - well, I guess we've just discovered the fate of the mountain of pork rinds and 5 pints of ice cream. Goal is 456.2lb, which she thinks is aggressive, but necessary. Babbles on about this new plan. None of it matters, as she doesn't have a plan to stop eating, so nothing will be accomplished. Hints at a deeper reason to her gaining weight, which she'll get into later (more lies). She is back to claiming that daily weigh-ins help her (despite her saying they made her want to binge before).

TL;DR: Remake of old footage - Condensed GRWM. Mini putt. Shopping. TWINKIE! Haul. Unboxing. RARITY! 100 Days of Writing Numbers on a board with no weight loss plan.

Does Amber keep her title of the 'Key-toe Qween'? Will Amber lose 40lbs by February as she intends - or ANY weight? Does Ja'Phonie plan to visit family for the holidays? To find the answers, tune in next time: Same FAT time! Same FAT channel!

 

[Surprised Pikachu]

For the love of God, and all that is holy, whhyyyyy?

I mean, I don't believe for a minute this will last past a week. But why would you schedule this to include the bacchanalia that surrounds Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's, as well as the run up to Valentine's Day.

A low carb Thanksgiving without stuffing? Heh. Good luck.

See, this is what annoys me about Amber - there’s no story to follow, no thread, no CAHNTENT. When did she film these? Was it yesterday, last month, last year? We should be launching into this episode dealing with the fallout from her last one and the on-air ‘encounter’ with Jordy - placing her viewers into the timeline and giving us some kind of plotline to follow. Instead we get random moments from the past couple years and are expected to ‘believe’ a known liar who lies like she breaths when she tells us we’re up to date.

She’s smug and annoying and if she can’t be bothered to make any effort with her vlogs then I (and everyone else) can’t be bothered to watch them. I’ll stick with the fabulous recaps by @Diet Coke 4 Life and @Boolean Bitch. Thank you Gorls.

 

[Insulin reid]

I just don’t understand. Mini golf requires standing THE ENTIRE TIME. And the way she waddles and holds her club? It obviously took her at least 45 minutes.

Thats the point. Jade loves watching her struggle. Shes the type of feeder who doesnt want a bedbound gf but a big gorl who struggles to do basic tasks so amber is perfect for her.

I didn’t watch the video, but I’m going to guess she quit halfway through, because it also requires you bending down to pick up your ball.

Jade does it for her. I seent it.

Why did she choose THAT activity? I’m shook.

Feeder fodder + going outside so spite the haydurs + "look my gf does want to be seen with me out in public guise i told you"

Bonus points for amber being comically big and mini golf being comically small.

See, this is what annoys me about Amber - there’s no story to follow, no thread, no CAHNTENT. When did she film these? Was it yesterday, last month, last year?

The point genuinely falls flat when you rullize ambers life is just that boring. She really has been living a covid lifestyle for years. She simply doesnt do much in her daily life to justify vlogging and if she really did vlog what she does all day every day she wouldnt be able to hide behind the am(big)uous "well i DO have a busy life you guise just dont SEE it" defense. This is her narc tendencies at play here. If we know its just an "assumption" Because we "cant really know" because she doesn't have 24/7 bodycam footage to prove otherwise so we have to take her word for it or she becomes a victim of boolying or something.

Her bulk of her day as we can spek-a-late:
Going to bed at like 3 ,4 or 5am because shes still scared some big bad man will rape her in the middle of the night with a big bad man penis.

Sleep till like 2pm or so because she needs a lot more time to rest because the sleep apnea she "totally doesn't have" wakes her up all the time and she needs more time to get her rem cycles.

Get up around when wifey comes home from her job(s) to cook amber her first or second meal of the day and quickly do errands before shit closes at normal business hours.

Have dinner around 8 or 10 pm and wifey goes to sleep and amber sits around trying not to hoover shit up till she goes to bed.

Whos gonna watch that? What content does she even have? Theres no normalcy in her life and swapping out footage and fucking about with the timeline is her last hope to be able to fool strangers on the internet into thinking shes the girl she portrays herself to be.

Gaslight
Gatekeep
Girlboss

We should be launching into this episode dealing with the fallout from her last one and the on-air ‘encounter’ with Jordy - placing her viewers into the timeline and giving us some kind of plotline to follow. Instead we get random moments from the past couple years and are expected to ‘believe’ a known liar who lies like she breaths when she tells us we’re up to date.

We all wish she would put effort in but shes too busy fucking about doing literally nothing.

She’s smug and annoying and if she can’t be bothered to make any effort with her vlogs then I (and everyone else) can’t be bothered to watch them. I’ll stick with the fabulous recaps by @Diet Coke 4 Life and @Boolean Bitch. Thank you Gorls.

 

[I call shenanigans]

We all wish she would put effort in but shes too busy fucking about doing literally nothing.

How soon you forget. She empties containers of liquid into other containers, be it laundry liquids,dishwashing liquid, water or juice. Can't have those undainty, not cute, containers in her fridge, bathroom or laundry. She has an online image to keep up afterall.

 

[Cock wombler]

Days since last 100k video that hit 100k : 223 days
Minus the Nickado Avocado video the previous week before then it was 215 days and that was a video posted in early October that scooched past 100k in Feb 2022. : 215 days

So what you're saying is Amber not only completed but doubled one of her 100 days of x challenges. When she quits the new 100 days (only because she's too focused on this one) I don't want to see any of your haydurs say anything about her not being able to stick to something.

So proud of you girly, you're so brave and strong, I knew you could complete a goal if you really tried. And we can all see how hard Amber has tried to not get her views up.

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

Oh my dog...I was going to tell ole Slappy that no I was not going to click on that, that I'll take his word...and didn't know replying uncovered the spoiler...Slappy I'm sorry that looks painful.

Edit: words

I finally browbeat Aetna into please stop fucking around with insurance bullshit and FIX me. Minor victory, surgery finally scheduled.

Only took a fucking year. Meh.

Hamber is still clueless. Seeing the fat folds hanging while she tries to tap a golf ball into the Clown's Mouth, Windmill, whaddever... only makes me laugh like the the liddle schoolgorl dat I am. Clueless of what's to become.

Looking forward to 100 days of 500 ellbees of fat and cueing Talking Heads "Same as it ever was" on the Farms jukebox.

 

[FatalTater]

Amber looked very unwashed in this latest video.

 

[Ish Kabibble]

I finally browbeat Aetna into please stop fucking around with insurance bullshit and FIX me. Minor victory, surgery finally scheduled.

Only took a fucking year. Meh.

Hamber is still clueless. Seeing the fat folds hanging while she tries to tap a golf ball into the Clown's Mouth, Windmill, whaddever... only makes me laugh like the the liddle schoolgorl dat I am. Clueless of what's to become.

Looking forward to 100 days of 500 ellbees of fat and cueing Talking Heads "Same as it ever was" on the Farms jukebox.

That's great news Slappy!!

 

[DefCon Dumb]

I finally browbeat Aetna into please stop fucking around with insurance bullshit and FIX me. Minor victory, surgery finally scheduled.

Only took a fucking year. Meh.

Don't know when they've scheduled you for but you can count on the Farms to snark & bully you into a complication free, very little pain type recovery. You know where to find us if needed!