Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[Totally real FBI Frank]

S

Love you too! Thanks! Just flew back from Baltimore to home today (PHX). Surgery #2 tomorrow morning, they're stripping veins. TMI and yeah, gross. But dealing with it head on.

Unlike the deathfat in this thread that can only make excuses. VLOG deez nutz. Who's the idiot that's always like "Well, child...." OH, Patrick Tomilison, I think?

Love to see him and Hamber in a podcast because "child" would be the only time dat goofy bastard would be spot on calling someone a "child."

Jenga dis, you fat fuck.

So happy you’re finally getting the necessary surgery after your knock down drag out with those insidious health insurance companies. TMI but I’m getting brain surgery soon and if those sadists try to shave ALL of my beautiful burgundy locks off it’s gonna be a battle royale after I come out of sedation lol. All the best on your upcoming carving slappy. We will be keeping you in our thoughts.

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

S

So happy you’re finally getting the necessary surgery after your knock down drag out with those insidious health insurance companies. TMI but I’m getting brain surgery soon and if those sadists try to shave ALL of my beautiful burgundy locks off it’s gonna be a battle royale after I come out of sedation lol. All the best on your upcoming carving slappy. We will be keeping you in our thoughts.

Thanks Frank! They did a lot of chop-chop (vein ablation and removal) this round and I'm sore as hell. Need a gallon of Diet Coke for Life's eggnog with a full bottle of Bacardi 151.

Hope your "under the knife" goes well, my friend. My doc is great and I trust him implicitly. That trust is important and hope you have a similar relationship with yours.

And yes, fuck the worthless insurance companies.

 

[Ayygs and Layygs]

I know Amber has no real personality and just adopts her girlfriends' mannerisms and speech patterns, but why did she have to pick up Jade's calling everything she? Inanimate objects are not she fuck outta here.
I love that Literaturelynn is acting all hipster nOt LiKe OtHeR gIrLs but is reading shitty trauma porn written for teenage girls. Can't wait for the spectacular review and analysis from Writerlynn.
Where is she pretending she's going that's 16 hours from her? Is that round trip? I thought someone had found the one she's rambling about and it's in KY. Or is she going to where the Slatons went?

I always wash new clothes first.

I do the same thing because of the remaining chemicals and such from the manufacturing process. Maybe that's weird?

I do wonder tho if somewhere in her most primal brain her clock is starting to go tik tok a little bit

Oh I'm sure it is because that's what happens. It's the crying "I always wanted a daughter" when it (apparently) barely made the 127 things list she made and even then it was adopting. She loves being able to claim that victim point though, whether it's her fault or not.

I absolutely love when amber brings up her childhood hobbies and activities. She just adds more and more “sure jan” ever Time. She played soccer and did dance and gave handjobs and was on the school newspaper advice column but smoked weed and skipped school, etc. All as a 200-350 pound child/teen.

I wonder if she even tries to keep track of the bullshit or just says whatever comes to her head and then goes on. All the crap about being an award winning dancer and choreographer but also being 200+ pounds is a bizarre contradiction but also very Amber to do that shit.


PS: Welcome back @Diet Coke 4 Life, I hope your liver is a bit better with the break. And @Slappy McGherkin speedy recovery friend!

 

[Constellationzero]

View attachment 4034259View attachment 4034262
Get you a gorl who can do bolth.

Christ... How many early 1980's basement rec room couches/wet barstools were slaughtered to make that jacket?

 

[Canuck Breaker]

Also not to sperg out on Cheflynn but why does she use reduced-sodium chicken broth?

So she can add in her fuckton of garlic salt and not feel guilty.

 

[PixieDoodle]

I watched the archive with no sound.
Jade Francis has awfully hairy fingers for a lady. How unfortunate for her.
Twinkie' so slim and trim now! Are we sure that's the same dog from a few years ago?
Amber keeps showing more and more of Jade. Interest in that has dwindled to nothing, no one cares.
OF COURSE Amber likes VC Andrews books. Poorly written incest porn with underage teens. Sounds right up her alley.

That gigantic tart lies about the most mundane thing. Take for instance the Celeste book which she claimed to have read before she was even 14 years of age. So that would be over 18 years ago and the book wasn’t published until March 2004.

Has she said bye bye to WW already? Eating fatty nuts, chocolate dipped cereal on the counter etc. She must be banking on getting approved for WLS.

 

[FatalTater]

Akshully you guise, Virginia Andrews died from breast cancer in 1986.
She only wrote My Sweet Audrina, Heaven, Dark Angel, Flowers In The Attic, Petals On The Wind, If There Be Thorns, and left notes for Garden Of Shadows and Fallen Hearts which was finished by a ghostwriter, Andrew Neiderman.

Andrew Neiderman wrote most of the VC Andrews books.

Amber likes novels written by a big stinky 'ol MAN! lol Love that for her.

 

[dfranki723]

Ah, I really hope Jade is some sort of pleasant comfort for Twink, Wasabi and Rarity. She's a shady fucker but Wasabi seems far calmer being held by her than being in the presence of HippoLynn.

 

[Thumb Butler]

It helps that Jade doesn't smell like death.

 

[ExGuru]

I'm behind on Hamber because she's harder to watch than ever, but I have to know what this "Falene" nonsense is. Is she trying to make people think wipey isn't Jade Francis? Where does this name come from/how did they choose that particular name? Did Ham just start saying in a vlog with no explanation?

 

[DefCon Dumb]

I'm behind on Hamber because she's harder to watch than ever, but I have to know what this "Falene" nonsense is. Is she trying to make people think wipey isn't Jade Francis? Where does this name come from/how did they choose that particular name? Did Ham just start saying in a vlog with no explanation?

I have no idea why Laine. I suspected it came from Bambi's crush in the book & movie & recently Amber changed her name on a social media site, (Twitter?) to something about Bambi.

Nothing frail or fawn-like about either of them!

 

[ExGuru]

I have no idea why Laine. I suspected it came from Bambi's crush in the book & movie & recently Amber changed her name on a social media site, (Twitter?) to something about Bambi.

Nothing frail or fawn-like about either of them!

You've got that right!! I appreciate the insight on this amber lore, makes a lot more sense now. Though somehow I think the better children's movie for Hamber to relate to would be Babe, Pig in the City...

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

Bambi and Faline are atrocities and both should be committed to mental institutions. Not one thing dainty about either of the fat fucks. "Pet names" is all that they are. Right, baaaaaayyyyybbbbeee?

That shit is gross. I mean, at least be honest. I'll tell my wife (occasionally) C'mon over here Sugarhips and gives me some luvin'. But these two? Gimme a fucking break. I do NOT grab my wife's tits at random. She'd fucking slap me and rightfully so. The pretend sexy bullshit between these two is obnoxious at best.

It's all an act. All of it. And it's failing miserably, whether because it's absolutely gross or absolutely fake, you decide.

 

[Cereal Killer]

I have no idea why Laine. I suspected it came from Bambi's crush in the book & movie & recently Amber changed her name on a social media site, (Twitter?) to something about Bambi.

Nothing frail or fawn-like about either of them!

I suspect the Bambi explanation is something that she just came up with. My theory is that originally the nickname was based on Feline in an attempt to throw people off Jades real name, and she came up with the Bambi backstory later.

That’s just my theory, based only on my gut reaction and the fact that Amber is a lying liar, but I feel pretty good about it.

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

I suspect the Bambi explanation is something that she just came up with. My theory is that originally the nickname was based on Feline in an attempt to throw people off Jades real name, and she came up with the Bambi backstory later.

That’s just my theory, based only on my gut reaction and the fact that Amber is a lying liar, but I feel pretty good about it.

Gonna disagree hard with ya here. Two retards watching "Bambi" and they became pet names for each other. It's no deeper than what I've said right here. It never is. Retards like these two miserable fucks have ZERO ability to plan and scheme anything beyond the next gross fat-sucked hickey prominently shown because "wild sex".

Excuse me.... gotta puke now. Maybe it's the drugs, maybe it's the liquor. Nope. It's just the gross mental images concurred up by this discussion.

 

[caffeinated_pirate]

Day 8 vlogmas, I’m getting behind and I don’t care.

How did Amber find time for ALL OF THESE ACTIVITIES in high school?

Jade plucked a rogue hair off her face. This is gross.

Why has she shown off her blinds every video this week?

Amber bought Jade a controller for the switch, and Jade had to lay down the law that this controller was HERS. I’m betting Amber usually keeps the best controllers and makes her use the shitty ones like a little brother.

HER BODY while getting the kitty treats out of the pantry. Her ass is shaped so strange like.

Also I don’t want to pat myself on the back or anything, but I noticed that Wasabi has purposely been focused on in every video since I called her out on it a while ago. You’re welcome, little buddy.

Now Amber is going to drive 16 hours away. Thought she couldn’t visit family because sitting in the car made her lymphadema legs explode or whatever?

Jade is trying to choke her from behind. Heh

Her arm fat jiggles as she dumps shit in the cooking pot. I’ve noticed new cuts on that arm.

What is the point of rinsing beans that come from a can? You rinse DRIED BEANS, DUMBASS.

She has a can of diced tomatoes, is she gonna drain and rinse those, too?

She said she wanted less soupy chili and then pours an entire bottle of chicken stock in it so whatever.

Wasabi PURRIN ON CAMERA. More cat purr ASMR pls

On her way to the homeless shelter now. Make sure people know that. It only counts if they do.

She’s showing off this awful crocodile print purse and brags about it being such a good deal at target.

And lol it takes her like a year to read a 300 page book.

She’s talking about this VC Andrews series that I’ve never heard of and don’t care about. Call me when she starts Wheel of Time. (Let’s be honest, she couldn’t even pronounce the character names in that series.)

The playdoh is back. My arch nemesis. She brags about not needing instructions for playdoh. I honestly can’t. That’s one hell of a flex.

Comment of the day means the video is over, so it’s my favorite. But this time she didn’t record it due to camera error….and yet was able to film her reaction to the comment. Make sure you get the important shots, right Amber?

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

Comment of the day means the video is over, so it’s my favorite. But this time she didn’t record it due to camera error….and yet was able to film her reaction to the comment. Make sure you get the important shots, right Amber?

I don't comment anywhere but here. But if I did, whoooooo- boy! Instantly be "Next!"

 

[dingobaby]

Ghastly thought, but I could actually see Jade calling Amber "Amby" as part of their vile daddy/little speak, and that devolving into Bambi. I can almost see it..

 

[I call shenanigans]

Why the fuck would she spend 16 hours of a day driving to a bariatric surgeon when there are so many within 30 minutes of her? The initial process she's described is the process at Georgetown Bariatrics which is 12 miles from Lexington. Her supposedly famous (TV) surgeon is likely Dr Eric Smith and she's just trying to mislead her trolls. Then again, maybe she tried him last time so knows it's a futile option.

A 16 hour round trip including what she anticipates will be a very long intensive health appraisal (she said she spent hours answering the 360+ pysch questions last time even though most folk do that quiz in 15-20 minutes because you're not supposed to think about the answers) would put her in the vicinity of Beltline Bariatics...aka Dr Hottie Proctor. Regardless of who she's seeing she's going after a TLC 1000lb sisters surgeon and getting an appointment within a month isn't likely when said month includes Christmas and New Years.

 

[We're All Going To Hell 2]

The playdoh is back. My arch nemesis. She brags about not needing instructions for playdoh. I honestly can’t. That’s one hell of a flex.

Apparently there's a Lego masters type show for fucking play doh. It's more of a kids thing though. How long until "Amby" finds it and starts gushing about it.
Is playdoh going to be the new Legos. Ffs I hope it stops with the damn advent calendar.
Does she even know advent is a Christian concept?
I would love to see her talk about advent. Maybe she'll get a wreathe next and will light the candles too.