Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[Trombonista]

Amber's liver is fat and I would not have sex with it.

Are you saying there are parts of her body you would have sex with?

 

[D_Tractor]

Are you saying there are parts of her body you would have sex with?

Yes.
If Destiny hadn't given her herpes I definitely would have let her give me a blowjob. She gets so excited everytime she puts something in her mouth that it would be the greatest self esteem boost I have ever had. Too bad she has herpes.
I am not an overly selective person romantically but I draw the line at uncurable STDs.
(I did not mean to start the following debate about whether Destiny gave Amber herpes or vice versa.)

 

[Xenomorph]

If Destiny hadn't given her herpes I definitely would have let her give me a blowjob. She gets so excited everytime she puts something in her mouth that it would be the greatest self esteem boost I have ever had. Too bad she has herpes.

She gave Herpes TO Dusty

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

I am not an overly selective person romantically but I draw the line at uncurable STDs.

Needs to be a random text!

Being that "unselective" about what you stick yer dick in, well...

You're not likely to know until the deed already been done.

 

[FatalTater]

If Amber dies do we think Jade Francis will go online and tell people, or will she just load all her new shoes into her new car and drive away?

 

[Salvador Dali]

If Amber dies do we think Jade Francis will go online and tell people, or will she just load all her new shoes into her new car and drive away?

I doubt Amber would ever give her access to her accounts even in an emergency scenario. Youtube has been the most consistent thing in her life aside from eating and she's too much of a narc to entrust it in someone else's hands. In the instance that Hamber dies and Wipey has no access to her accounts, I wonder how she's gonna try to spread the word, will she come on camera on a new ominous Youtube account, will we finally see the gorilla up close?

To answer your question, my theory is that we'll probably get surprised(this word is pulling a lot of weight) with a GoFundMe called "Amber's Memorial Fund" or "Remembering Amber" which links to the funeral and firefighting expenses associated with the crematory that will inevitably burn down to cremate her. After this grift gets pulled off Jade will make a run for it to Louisiana or Atlanta or wherever niggers seek asylum when they are on the run and that will be the last we hear of her.

 

[Situation Type Deal Gorl]

To answer your question, my theory is that we'll probably get surprised(this word is pulling a lot of weight) with a GoFundMe called "Amber's Memorial Fund" or "Remembering Amber" which links to the funeral and firefighting expenses associated with the crematory that will inevitably burn down to cremate her.

They could make it less hazardous by hiring a flensing team - cremating her in parts would be easier. Probably safer, too.






(Oh, and BTW: fuck whalers, dude. Hunting them is seriously uncool.)

 

[Mekahineyho]

I miss Ambers southern accent she had for 4 years.

 

[dfranki723]

Hamber Hunting is the only acceptable form of whale slaughter.

 

[lol cow supreme]

Hamber Hunting is the only acceptable form of whale slaughter.

There once was a ship that put to sea
and the name of the ship was the Jade Faline
the haydurs blew hard and the cows tipped down
lol my fatty gorls lol.

Soon may the Amberlynn come,
to eat all our sugar and tea and buns
one day when the money is done
Jade will take her leave and go.

 

[DefCon Dumb]

There once was a ship that put to sea
and the name of the ship was the Jade Faline
the haydurs blew hard and the cows tipped down
lol my fatty gorls lol.

Soon may the Amberlynn come,
to eat all our sugar and tea and buns
one day when the money is done
Jade will take her leave and go.

ALR shanties - awesome!

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

What will we do with a hungry Amber
What will we do with a hungry Amber
What will we do with a hungry Amber
Early in the mornin'

Way hay she's whining loudly
Way hay she's whining loudly
Way hay she's whining loudly
Early in the mornin'

Pack her in the pantry and watch it empty
Pack her in the pantry and watch it empty
Pack her in the pantry and watch it empty
Early in the mornin'

Way hay there goes your food now
Way hay there goes your food now
Way hay there goes your food now
Early in the mornin'

 

[Agoodpotroast]

Yes.
If Destiny hadn't given her herpes I definitely would have let her give me a blowjob. She gets so excited everytime she puts something in her mouth that it would be the greatest self esteem boost I have ever had. Too bad she has herpes.

Psh, as if Miss Pillow Princess would give anyone a blowjob. You'd get an half hearted handjob like the stuck in high school sped she is

 

[Constellationzero]

It was many and many a year ago,
In a shitbox at the Henry,
That a useless fatass there lived whom you may know
By the name of Amberlynn Reid;
And this fat fuck she lived with no other thought
Than to eat and be wiped by Faline.

Jade was a nigger and Amber got bigger,
In this shitbox at the Henry,
But they loved with a love that was more than love—
Faline and her Amberlynn Reid—
With a love that the underpaid UberEats drivers
Coveted her and Faline.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this shitbox at the Henry,
A wind blew out her shelf ass; bedbound
My useless Amberlynn Reid;
So that her French White Knights came
And bore her away from Faline,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this hugbox at the Henry.

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

Youse gorls some creative bitches!

My funny bone be tickled!

 

[a hapless toad]

I didn't even have to change this one much...

When I was just a "little" gorl or so my mommy told me
(Way haul away, we'll haul away ho)
That if I didn't kiss the girls my lips would grow a-moldy
(Way haul away, we'll haul away ho)

Now I'm a Tuga-knuckled gorl and I'm so fat and lazy
(Way haul away, we'll haul away ho)
Caught myself a Brooklyn girl and she just drives me crazy
(Way haul away, we'll haul away ho)

 

[We're All Going To Hell 2]

I come back to songs/poems.

Best haydurs ever

 

[DefCon Dumb]

I thought I heard poor Twinkie say:
"Feed her Wifey, feed her
Yesterday she got her pay
and it's time for you to feed her.

Feed her Wifey, feed her.
Oh feed her, Wifey, feed her.
For her hunger's strong and her mouth won't slow.
It's time for you, to feed her.

Oh her stench was foul, greasy hair piled high
Feed her Wifey, feed her
Whining all night long, & her tears won't slow.
It's time for you to feed her.

 

[Mekahineyho]

 

[the weeknd warrior]

At this point, Becky probably killed both of them and Eric+Ricky is running all of their accounts and posting the five years worth of prerecords. This is FBI Frank tier.