Hamber opens by continuing the "shoe saga", because that's where we are in the amberverse: shoes to fit her fat fucking feet. She finds some at Torrid, of course, and orders them. Like their new owner, those shoes will never leave the stankpartment.
Book report with Hamber. Spoiler alert: the book doesn't end the way she claims. She just doesn't understand how this book is controversial. She doesn't understand much.
We're now in the bathroom with Hamber - fortunately, she is fully dressed - and what the hell with the hair, Hamber? If you take a shower and wash your hair (which is what she claims), brush it then, FFS. But no, I guess showering is so fucking exhausting that she has to do what she says she does: let it dry, put it in a poop bun, then later let it out and brush it. Makes no sense to me, and her hair looks like the shit in cardboard boxes in the attic you've forgotten about until eight years after you move in, when you pull them out only to find mice have been nesting in them. Looks like shit, SalonLynn, but I guess you know hair better than we do.
Says she had an email from the dietitian about meeting with the surgeon - because remember, they were going to meet with the surgeon to determine what the next step would be? Yes, Hamber, it's the lie you told in the last video, we remember. We all know what the "next step" is: lose some fucking weight. Bizarrely, says they told her the meeting was cancelled because.....wind? JFC, WriterLynn, you couldn't come up with something more plausible? Blah blah, Wind, tornado warnings! Power flickers! Yeah, everything is cancelled when there's a big storm. What in the ever loving fuck kind of lie is this: "I think everyone from the weight loss center is being sent home because the weather is so bad." You know what's even more fucking stupid than claiming a meeting, presumably between people at the same office, has been cancelled because of a big storm? Sending people out into that very same fucking storm. You are certainly no Shonda Rhimes, you lame hippo.
Pretends to be empathetic about the storm, says she is not going to continue to vlog because she wants to keep her phone fully charged in case the power goes out. Well, genius, you could just plug the fucking thing in right there in the bathroom while you're yakking about your nasty fucking hair. Then it would be fully charged if the power went out. Clearly I do not know battery management like Hamber.
Next day and holy hell.
Frizzy poop bun, horrific cellulose, and gigantic arms. She's the size of two NFL offensive linemen, and I'm not even being hyperbolic. Goddamn, Hamber, how much di you gain, exactly, for your "WLS" to tell you no surgery?
Makeup, who cares. Sigh. More about the fucking weather. She's trying to pretend she cares about other people. "Very scurry." But rest assured, fam, nothing happened to her and MG,W. Says her mother lost power for three days. WTF does that have to do with storms in Lexington? Who the fuck knows? Doesn't matter, because if she can't connect it to herself somehow, she doesn't care.
"Life is scurry." This means nothing coming from you, Hamber, because you're scurred of everything from food to driving and all the other things that exist in the world. Good thing you have a gofer and Uber Eats/Door Dash at your beck and call. No need to face that scurry, scurry world like an adult human being.
PhilosophicalLynn, continuing the "Life is scurry" thought: it's just crazy because "like, all the little tiny problems that people are, like, always blowing up to like, something bigger than like what it needs to be. There's such bigger issues in the world." ReaderWriterLynn, and her terrific vocabulary, everyone!
More book shit that she won't really read. It's Saturday, and since the dietitian/surgeon meeting was cancelled because of the wind, that meeting will not happen until "next week", which presumably means the next video will be her whining that the surgeon is saying no and she's quitting.
Claims that "a lot" of peoplre are in her DMs, telling her to find another program - sure, find one that doesn't give a fuck what issues someone has (unless that issue is no money or insurance to pay for the surgery). That would be great! We'd love to see you in this alternate universe where you got WLS and then started ramming seafood boils, etc., down your piehole! Projectile vomiting would make great content!
Anyway, all these nonexistent people supposedly populating her DMs say making her wait a year is the "strangest thing they've ever heard" - yes, that would be because she fucking made up this supposed condition of no binging for a year, but I digress - and that "WLS is supposed to help uh, binge eating."
Anyone telling you that - and by that, I mean, you, you fat-brained retard, because no thinking person would ever say that shit - is as retarded as you are. Binging is a mental issue. WLS is a physical thing, unlike time. But what do you care? You're the one now saying, after ten years of leaning on BED as an excuse and three so-called "official" diagnoses of this, that you don't have BED after all. Weird how you just tell medical people whatever is convenient for your current made up narrative.
Blames a terrible, stupid metaphor on a "friend": It's like telling a drug "attic" they have to be sober for a year before going to rehab. No, it really fucking is not, dumbass. Your "friend" is a fucking idiot and so are you.
FFS, back to "I don't eat three times what I normally eat." as the definition of binge. No, fatty, you routinely eat three times a normal human portion of everything. I agree, you do not have BED. You are simply a lazy glutton with nothing else to occupy your fucking time. Says something stupid about binging means eating condiments and she never does that, heavens. Of course not, retard, that's because you keep all your goddamned favorite foods in the goddamn house so they will be there when you want them. You will never, ever get WLS unless you go to Mexico. So just pack up MG,W, squeeze your
giant shelf ass on a plane, and go. There's your immediate fucking gratification.
Oh, the bullshit's getting deep in here. Let me break out my waders. Says she never wanted to "look deeper" as to whether she had BED or a food addiction, and bitch, you do not have either. Spews some bullshit about denial and just saying it is BED instead of saying "no, what's really going on" and if that doesn't sum up your entire fucking life for you, Hamber. Claim it's BED, complete with explicitly saying i's been diagnosed three times, because it's easiest, just like claiming an ayyg allergy instead of an intolerance to undercooked ayygs. You can't spare two fucking seconds of your time to just say something truthful because you are a lazy, entitled asshole. Says she has "actively ruined my future". No, you "actively" ruined your future by eating yourself to 600 pounds, because you were unwilling to put in the work. Lazy.
TherapyLynn trying to tell us that if "you want to get help, you have to be honest" with the person you need help from, and also yourself. No shit, thanks, CaptainObviousLynn. She's pullling her usual semantic bullshit. "I'm learning the hard way that living in delusional land and denial land gets you nowhere." I do believe there's a word for what you've been doing, Hamber. Now what was that? It's on the tip of my tongue. Damn, getting old sucks! WAIT! I HAVE IT!
You're a fucking pathological liar, LiarLynn. That's your basic problem.
She claims to feel guilty after eating a large quantity of food. No, you don't, LiarLynn. Blames her "eating a large quantity of food" on the same thing she blames her oh-so-corky mispronunciation of words (ordaments, bolth, molment) on: she's just done that all her life. If you had any brain cells devoted to thinking, you'd have understood long ago that sometimes we have to change as people, moron. But nope. Gotta take the easiest route and just keep doing the exact same thing all your fucking life despite claiming you want to change. Just admit you are just fine being a fat fuck on YouTube. Maybe then we'd get some honest content.
"I feel guilty after eating (large quantities) because I don't want to be fat." Gosh, if there were only some way people could transform themselves so they're not fat bastards any longer. Wouldn't that be just dandy?
"Weightloss surgery is just constantly on my mind because I want it so bad" GrammarLynn makes an appearance, and no, you don't want it that badLY, because if you did, you would stop looking at it as the final step in this nonexistent jernee. Questions whether she should go to another program - and people are telling her she should do this, as if it would make a single fucking difference. NO ethical surgeon is going to operate on you, Hamber.
"Misdiagnosing is something that happens, obviously. I just went through the whole lung debacle. Heh heh." Boy, Hamber, why are all your fucking docs so incompetent? What are the odds that all THREE of the people who "diagnosed" you with BED were wrong? And the whole dangleen lung - misdiagnosed with cancer there? "Getting a misdiagnosis is very, uh, common." NO IT IS NOT YOU FUCKING RETARDED CUNT. She then launches into her woe is me, I got cancer because I am a giant fatass who ate herself to 600 fucking pounds, and how they kept misdiagnosing her with a UTI. And what did they say after that, Hamber? GO SEE YOUR GODDAMNED PRIMARY CARE PHYSICIAN. And you, you absolute fucking cunt, should have gone to see a gynecologist. Did you? No, of course not. Because you treated the fucking ER as your goddamned doctor, wasting resources as usual. STOP blaming your failure to do a single fucking thing to help yourself on the doctors who fucking treated you the best they could with you fucking lying to them. Because THAT is what YOU do, and we all fucking know it. Fuck you, Hamber. FUCK. YOU.
Sorry, fam, but that shit really grinds my gears and I just want to tear her fucking throat out.
"I'm just rambling about WLS again. I'm very mad at myself because I feel like I exaggerated my food issues because I was in such denial that I exaggerated my food issues when I first started seeing my psychologist because I thoroughly believed that I had binge eating. "
That runon bullshit is a direct quote. No, you were no "in denial", bitch. You LIE. Period.
Claims that "the more she learns" about it and about herself, she doesn't binge, guise. Great, cunt. Then you can apologize for being a cunt and using it as an excuse to feed your fat fucking face for years. And if you "don't binge" like you claim, then you lied for years, and you're just changing the narrative to suit your current need, where you try to manipulate the WLS place to give you want you want. Guess what, fatty? They've heard it all before. There isn't anyone with an ounce of sense who is going to immediately operate on some 600 pound cunt like yourself who claimed for what, nine years to have BED, even going so far to claim "officially" being diagnosed with BED three different times, in different years, with different doctors. Either you have BED and you're lying now, or you lied to all these doctors then, so you could have that excuse to be a glutton, claim you "couldn't control" yourself, and act as a complete fucking bitch to whichever
girlfriend caretaker you were with, bullying them to get you what you wanted to eat when you wanted it. Bottom line: you are a fucking liar, and I guarantee you that WLS place, assuming you actually continue to go there, has seen your lying ass history on YT.
Oh my fucking god. She's admitting to overeating, but blames it on the fact she has a "bigger stomach", not because she's a glutton who mindlessly eats. What happened to that "sitting with discomfort", bitch? "Obviously I feel guilty about it." No, you fucking don't. "Anyone who overeats is going to feel guilty about it." No, they don't if they are fucking gluttons like you. Cunt.
The video abruptly cuts off at that point, and it's a good goddamned thing.
