Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[FickleFuck]

At least my Sailors were too high on the 'nerdy autist' scale to ever get laid, much less be driven to get tattoos of names on their bodies. They were the 'prison tat' and 'generic skull-sleeves' dorks. On topic, I wanna see some fuckin' commitment, F/JFoNY:MGF,W. Get your hog's face on your body. Goodness knows you've got enough flabby skin for it, given how rotund you are. And you found a decent artist. I'm certain the tattooist will capture that moon face perfectly.

If Egg Gorl's significant other can commit, so can Wipey....

 

[Totally real FBI Frank]

the "test" amber is saying she passed with flying colors is the pcl-5 and it's self reporting and prone to malingers often over reporting, as you've all correctly deduced of miss MUH TRAUMA!! it's virtually useless by itself. the next step should be a CAPS-5 which is a clinician given screening and much more in-depth. it'll ask about symptoms, what triggers them, dissociating, etc. that's where any clinician worth their salt will be able to smell her bullshit from a mile away.

I’m gonna go ahead and power level here cause I’m fixing to get ALL the top hats any damn way. Might as well go do a two fer. This is the one thing about Hambeast that truly, honestly pisses me off. Fuck her lying about Wipey and all that other shit she lies about. This is the lie that makes me feel the only real rage, the only time I truly want to throat punch the cunt (besides when she says melk).
I was stalked by an ex , kidnapped at gunpoint and held hostage by him. For almost two years. Tons of fun shit happened. And it took me three months of talking to a psychologist and her actually visually seeing me go through a “unaware of what the fuck I’m doing phase “ of booby trapping a shelter and having no clue I was doing it for her to give me the diagnosis of cptsd. Intensive damn therapy. Then I was immediately medicated and started EMDR therapy. It sucked ass All of it sucks ass. It’s not fun. It’s not cute. It’s not corky. It’s also not a fucking get out of jail free card. Anxiety attacks do not consist of sniffing and doing your damndest to eek out just one real tear and softly proclaiming “oh, you guys heard that “. When she throws out the words “stalking and harassing “ referring to the haydurs….people who disagree with her on a goddamn PUBLIC platform are stalking and harassing her. …. I truly wish she would get an actual stalker. One she REALLY has to worry about. Like, oh a 1%er. See how that really changes her fucking fat smothered brain pan about the true definition of stalking. For these reasons alone, I’m just gleefully awaiting mother karma catching up to this bitch and I pray the resulting fireworks will be worth the time of my life I’ve wasted in this particular fatty.

 

[TardiX]

PS. The before shot. Jade is fucking FAT

Must suck when all you want is to be a big lesbian stud and you have huge titties or you have the small b cups as a 550lb bimbo. 550lbs and none in the tits. Nature is cruel

 

[Salvador Dali]

I cant believe this!! opening 21 gifts from subscribers!!!!!​

Spoiler: May 1, 2023 Archive

 

[Cornfed]

So she is gaining alot of weight, I mean even the filters working overtime are not hiding how fat her chins are getting. The full body shots in the hardware store are comparable to when she was at her heaviest. By her own admission she is only 50 lbs away from that point, and she can pack that on in a couple of weeks.
The therapy is complete BS. Anyone who has seen a therapist knows that you don't have revelations about yourself or break down crying or any of that BS after 5 hours (the first couple of sessions would just be getting to know eachother).
All this is to say that she clearly was told she is not elegiable for WLS, and to pound sand.
I think the hyper smug attitude is a compensation for this blow. Probably the first time she has been told no, and coupled with people in general not buying her BS she is throwing up a classic smug shield that people like her do.
She is also probably shelling out money at the cyclic rate to keep her house slave around. That tattoo is not cheap.
All this to say that I have faith that her life is quickly catching up to her, and that it will be sooner rather than later at this point that this YouTube welfare queen will have the real world crash through her little delusion.

 

[Constellationzero]

I truly wish she would get an actual stalker. One she REALLY has to worry about. Like, oh a 1%er.

1. Roll her into a clubhouse and see. You'll need a forklift.
2. No 1% er, even the bona fide perverts, would want her stinking up their area.
3. You seem like a candidate for one of the live people I'm saying she needs up in her face.

 

[Boolean Bitch]

@Turd Fergusson

I would like to see the result of her being denied due to her tasty PTSD ''diagnosis''. I could see her launching into a tirade about how dehumanizing it is and how attacked she feels. It'd all be down to the heartless professionals ruining her life.

I genuinely don't know if she'd try and take the PTSD shit back because it's one of the best excuses for her to throw around. BED was beneficial at times but PTSD is on another level entirely. It's too valuable for her to give up.

Maybe. I don't know. She's a fat dipshit.

I don't know if she could. I think she was able to weasel her way out of the BED Dx because it was from a different therapist not associated with this clinic, and Amber was able to twist the story. 'I had NO IDEA that it was a Health At Every Size Outpatient Facility when I started going there! They gave me the BED diagnosis because they wouldn't let me diet!' They couldn't accept insurance due to them following 'HAES' philosophy, so I'm sure it was easy for the WLS clinic to disregard it. No matter how good of a Core-e-oh-GRIFTER she is, I don't think she can dance out of the PTSD Dx that they gave her (assuming that they actually Dx'ed her with PTSD), especially when they notice a pattern forming of her switching therapists and dropping Dx's when it suits her in the molmunt. The only way I could see this happening would be if she started fresh with a new GP and new WLS, and none of them had access to her previous records.

------------

Plot Summary with (minimal) Commentary. I hate these sections where she gets a few items, and then bulks it out by buying shit on Amazon and then sending it to her PO Box. Whatever, let's go. 1/4 impulse power...

Spoiler: I cant believe this!! opening 21 gifts from subscribers!!!!!

Placard:
[Amber Reid P.O. Box 23937 Lexington ky 40523]

Still no line added requesting that food not be sent - though she does say it in this section.

She's supposedly doing this to see how her audience likes it - though when she came up with this idea, she said that she'd tag these sections to the end of her vlogs again if people don't like these videos. So, she actually DOESN'T CARE whether or not you want to see them - you're gonna see them! This is all a very transparent attempt triple her view count and ad revenue without giving any more content or putting in any additional effort.

Everything is pre-opened, but Amber insists that she didn't peek. This was done to minimize the amount of editing she would have to do for this already low-effort video:

1. A champagne glass.
2. A handmade painting of Amber with a diembodied black hand.
3. A card.
4. A fleece blanket with a chihuahua on it *fake tears*.
5. Dog toys.
6. A Postcard. Amber wants her audience to send more Postcards.
7. A jar filled with generic inspirational quotes.
8. A bamboo charcuterie board that says "Creamy Cheeses is a shimmer to an outlet". I get it because the board is meant for cheeses, but I still think it should have had the saying "thoughts slip from my mind like maggots on a train" instead. Amber thinks this is funny and kind, and a quality gift (because she is so full of herself). You aren't spending enough on her, Ambabies! Open those wallets!
9. Food scented wax melts
10. DVD of the movie Misery.
11. Large mug that says CUNTY. Well, it says 'UNTY', but the handle makes the 'C'.
12. Stickers.
13. "DILL DOUGH" stress reliever. Whuuuut?! (It's slime)
14. Wax Melter. It's off white in colour and labelled 'WARM' in tall and thin black letters, like all of her other basic bitch decor items which have their function written on them. It's "Just my style".
15. Book: DBT Anger Management Workbook. Amber thinks she's the farthest from needing anger management. #Cakegate tells a different story.
16. Diamond painting kit of snowflakes.
17. A card.
18. Off-brand LEGO kit of a fairytale town building.
19. A card.
20. A card.
21. Book: Brain Games Sticker by Number.

Amber appreciates the gifts so much! So much so, that she wants MORE and is going to post her PO Box address again!

Placard:
[Amber Reid P.O. Box 23937 Lexington ky 40523]

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: STOP WASTING YOUR MONEY SENDING ITEMS TO AMBER, WHICH WILL JUST END UP BEING ILLEGALLY DUMPED AT THE BACK OF HER LOCAL GOODWILL.

TL;DR: Amber gets some genuine gifts (and some troll gifts) while mimicking the behaviour of Piink Sparkles.

I don't want to play anymore.

 

[Bees]

Goddamn it I can’t screenshot or post the video snip but Oh Lordy it’s Jordy caught something at 3:02 in the tattoo reveal video. Right below the David at about the 7 o’clock position is a tatt saying ifey.

Lmfao she has a wifey/wipey tattoo.

Again, all credit to Jordy here.

 

[It's All So Tiresome]

 

[Even more 8008135]

May 2023: Still a fat fucking loser.

 

[Situation Type Deal Gorl]

It's the beginning of the standalone (let me pump out content generated by suckers and also get gifts, it's like xmas all the time!) era. What fun!

Spoiler: I cant believe this!! opening 21 gifts from subscribers!!!!! - May 1, 2023

Hamber puts out a May Day call, and the rubes accede.

ALL these things are from subscribers, guise (winkwink)! OK, Hamber, lay it on us.

Flashes the PO card right at the beginning, because remember, peasants: spend your hard earned (or easily earned, she isn't particular) cash on Hamber. Still no "no food please" on it. Instead, she says it. just like the other couple times. She simply flat out deleted it fromthe description box. Gee, Hamber, it would have taken exactly the same amount of effort to put a "no food, please" into the existing description with the PO information. I guess you're just not as serious about "no food" as you like to claim and you are ACTIVELY(! One of your favorite words!) looking for someone to send food so you can get your pouting and raging on.

Two word summary: "I'm obsessed!"

Longer rundown of the shit, most of which she sent herself. First, an image interlude.



She keeps pushing, she's going to wind up like a



but not as cute. Or useful. Or funny. Or....stop it, Sitch. Do your fuckin job.

Aye aye.

Lying again: "Everything is open, but I didn't look inside anything!" Sure, Ham. That's about as believable as you not stomping a toddler in your haste to get orange chicken at TCF. Just get on with it, already.

1. Champagne/sparkling wine flute. One. Hamber asks if we remember when she drank her melk out of wine glasses. You mean the maybe two, three times you did that? I do remember being like an uncoordinated two year old with ADD pumped with loads of caffeine and sugar, trying to pour your "I did that!" smoothie into a wine glass. There's some cheesy inscription on the glass that I can't be bothered to type out or relisten to because Hamber's an idiot who can't read plain English. Says there's no note or letter, but thanks, plebe who sent it. That'll go to Goodwill, since Hamber doesn't drink, right? Right?

2. Terrible painting of Hamber's giant head and shoulders taking up almost all of the canvas, with MG,W's disembodied hand dangleen near Hamber's face - fitting, given that her giant head and shoulders take up most of the video frame. She says it's adorable. We'll never see this again.

BTW: WASH YOUR GODDAMNED GREASY, NASTY HAIR, BITCH.

3. Card and letter. Snore.

4. A blanket "ooh, she is soft!" - NOT A SHE, YOU CUNT - with a chihuahua on it. She "literally" feels tears coming. No you don't.

5. Dog toys.

6. Postcards. Gives a not so subtle hint to the peasants to gift her with more postcards. She loves them so much, you know, even through we have never seen her display said postcards anywhere in her stankpartment or at the old house, from anyone. Of course, I cannot imagine who would send this bitch postcards anyway, as she has no friends and her relatives don't care about her enough to send any. I guess that's what randos on the internet are for.

7. Jar filled with slips of paper, all of which have those motivational quotes on them. Hilariously, the first one she pulls out with her sausage fingers is "Be the change you want to see in the world." and it misspells Gandhi's name as Ghandi. Hamber, of course, dos not notice this. I'm certain she's put it right by that gigantic jar she was going to fill with hearts for the pounds she was going to lose on her weight loss journey.

8. Charcuterie/cheese board. She cackles as she pulls it out of the box. They have a charcuterie board already, you know. It's a bit smaller than this one, but they do have one. To my knowledge, they've never used it. This one has a line lased on it: Creamy cheeses is [sic] a shimmer to an outlet. If you're wondering just what the fuck tha's supposed to mean, don't bother. It's a line from one of her horrible "poems". Almost pisses her pants when the storage drawer on the bottom pops open while she's trying to wrangle the board with her beetus-infested balloon hands so everyone can see. Is shocked when there are the usual implements for a basic charcuterie board, like a pokey thing, one of "this type of deal", and so on. The board is 70 bucks on Amazon, including the personalized lasing. Hamber either ordered this herself (my choice) or it's a troll that she fails to recognize. She also fails to lose her shit about food-related shit being sent to her, even though she has requested this MULTIPLE times, you guise! Fuck you, you attention-whoring, hypocritical, barren bitch.

9. Misery, the movie. Great movie. She will not understand the overarching themes. And she's unlikely to have read the book.

10. Wax melts. Food-scented. Is this not food-related?

11. A mug that says CUNTY. Fitting.

12. Card

13. Dill dough stress reliever slime. You know, Zachary Michael was going on and on about dill dough and pickles one day, and i thought, dude, we get it, yeah, it's funny. The first time.

14. Wax melter. JFC she JUST BOUGHT TWO.

15. Anger management workbook. "I'm the farthest from anger management." We know, you rude cunt, that's why someone sent it to you.

16. Diamond painting shit.

17. Card.

18. Knockoff Lego. Hamber said it herself. It's some kind of tiny building for the dainty kuh-ween.

19. Card,

20. Card.

21. A coloring book but you use stickers instead of craynes or the thousand colored pens she bought.

Blah blah. She loves how people "open up" to her, and i wouldn't give this bitch any information about yourselves, you dumbasses. STOP SENDING HER SHIT.

TL;DW/R: Hamber acts like a four year old at xmas, gets shit she doesn't need and which we will never see again until she offloads shit to Goodwill to make room for new shit to hoard up the stankpartment.

People really need to stop sending her shit. Force her to make her own content, peasants.

 

[FatalTater]

All this is to say that she clearly was told she is not elegiable for WLS, and to pound sand.
I think the hyper smug attitude is a compensation for this blow. Probably the first time she has been told no, and coupled with people in general not buying her BS she is throwing up a classic smug shield that people like her do.
She is also probably shelling out money at the cyclic rate to keep her house slave around. That tattoo is not cheap.

I see Amber's smugness as her thinking she's better than someone, somehow.
Maybe she got some cash in her PO Box.
Maybe she's planning to sue the cake sender.
Maybe she knows she isn't going to get WLS so she's using the money they saved to feel rich and pay for Jade to get a big tattoo.
Don't know, but whatever it is I hope it blows up in her face and we get to be amused by it.

 

[Turd Fergusson]

Don't know, but whatever it is I hope it blows up in her face and we get to be amused by it.

Well, 6 months ago, she averaged 66k views per video, 3 months ago it was 62k views, and now, the last 8 videos averaged 43.4k views per video. She is at 950k views for the last 30 days. Whatever she is trying to increase her views, it is not working. There will come a point when she will start to rage like Chantal, blaming reactions channels and haters.

 

[the weeknd warrior]

Well, 6 months ago, she averaged 66k views per video, 3 months ago it was 62k views, and now, the last 8 videos averaged 43.4k views per video. She is at 950k views for the last 30 days. Whatever she is trying to increase her views, it is not working. There will come a point when she will start to rage like Chantal, blaming reactions channels and haters.

Bigger YT folk with a proper positive following are crying about a 20 to 30 points decrease in adsense coins. Makes me wonder how bad it is for this main character who mains nothing.

 

[Goatchoker]

Well, 6 months ago, she averaged 66k views per video, 3 months ago it was 62k views, and now, the last 8 videos averaged 43.4k views per video. She is at 950k views for the last 30 days. Whatever she is trying to increase her views, it is not working. There will come a point when she will start to rage like Chantal, blaming reactions channels and haters.

Could you imagine her coming on live, drunk off 2 mikes hards trying to talk shit?!?! OMGGGGG

Fuck her honestly. She’s spiraling and I love to see it.

 

[dingobaby]

Looks like she is enjoying scab appetizers bravely combatting ExCoriAtioN disordur again. Cant MG,W put a rubber band around her trotter and snap it sometimes? Come on Jade, you're supposed to be the daddy fixer

 

[dfranki723]

Faking excitement and gratitude whilst sitting there with her dead little piggy eyes. Her life is so hard guys, 21 gifts to open? She may as well be slaving away pulling a 12 hour shift, 7 days a week.

 

[Constellationzero]

Faking excitement and gratitude whilst sitting there with her dead little piggy eyes. Her life is so hard guys, 21 gifts to open? She may as well be slaving away pulling a 12 hour shift, 7 days a week.

Better have half the Five Guys menu. And a few Wow Bao (or eight).

Gotta refuel!

 

[Larry&Barry]

Considering MG,W's first message to Amber was "Hello future wifey," I think the wifey tattoo was for one of her previous cow girlfriends. There's no way Amber would let her gorlfriend get a tattoo for her and not make vlogs bragging about it.

 

[Situation Type Deal Gorl]

Watching Gorlworld Ireland, and Hamber unwrapped the (single) champagne flute. Got the etching on the glass this time:

Saying "I love you" doesn't roll off my tongue like expensive champagne would.

I'm surprised she didn't recognize this as being part of her own literary oeuvre. like the one on the charcuterie board. This one is liiiiduuurraaallly the first line in one of those wretched pomes of hers.

Edit. Guess who's been trawling the Farms?

She put the PO info back into the description and added the food thing.

Also, she unpacked the Misery movie, and I started laughing all over again about Paul Shelton's dangleen ankles when Annie Wilkes hobbled him. Hamber, of course, will never understand.