Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

Are you looking forward to seeing Jade's face on camera?

  • Yes

    Votes: 550 15.6%
  • No

    Votes: 349 9.9%
  • I don't care

    Votes: 2,620 74.5%

  • Total voters
    3,519
Actually, she already did. It was around the last week or so of October 2022, and supposedly recommended by her 'lipedema specialist'. (Actually, it may have been a few weeks, anyway, whatever). It was a pretty dirty form of keto. As I recall correctly, in addition to her meals which were heavy in meat and processed chesse (and relatively light in vegetables), she also ate, like, a FULL CASE of porkrinds in that short time. She actually referred to them as a 'staple' in the keto diet. I think the fat-embolism arc may come before the hypo/hyperglycemia arc.

Edited to Add:
The keto arc ended when her doctor looked at some scan of her torso around the dangling lung era and noticed some sludge in her gallbladder. Amber started saying that keto was giving her gallbladder pain or something to get the doctor to tell her to stop taking Ozempic and to stop the keto diet. In reality, she had just binged on a slop pail full of rice or buttered noodles or something, and was looking for an excuse to quit.
She was never in ketosis, at best she was carb-limited per meal. The bitch eats 5000+ calories a day. That bucket of commercial ranch would have kicked her out of ketosis if she were in that state, BIG if. Pork rinds are great for keto, it's just that she ate the whole fucking case in a day and there's plenty enough simple sugars in the brand she got, which would have kicked her out of ketosis too.

What most people get wrong about keto is that it's not a meat diet, it's a fat diet. The fat:protein ratio is important and in my analysis she was eating too much protein. Not only was she eating too much protein, she's also a deathfat where none of her metabolic processes are functioning as they should. When you get the keto diet wrong in an extreme state of insulin resistance like her and her acanthosis nigricans, you will end up in diabetic ketoacidosis.

I've said it before, she has some ridiculous cockroach genetics to be able to survive like this without taking her estrogen for so long. (Un)fortunately, she will succumb to what Hungry Fat Chick is going through. HFC is in a full on diabetic spiral, just check the difference in her appearance in only a year. Europeans do really well with diabetes, if these two cows were black they'd be dead by now.
 
She said one of the reasons she quit Keto was because she had pain and diarrhea. She was hoovering industrial sized bags of pork rinds whilst also eating tubs of sugar free ice cream. She showed a haul of numerous tubs of keto icecream before quitting. That would have led to disaster pants really quickly. I had an ultrasound of my gallbladder last year. No way she would be able to turn and do the positions they require to get the imaging let alone being able to penetrate through the layers of blubber. I got my gallbladder removed laparoscopically a couple of months ago. I was told if you have difficulties (or maybe if you're super morbidly obese) you would need open abdominal surgery with a lot longer recovery time
 
I've tried to convince myself that youtube comments are a reasonable place to discuss pookie until I don't have to access the .tor link, but holy shit. I'm losing my goddamn mind. The amount of a-logs is overwhelming. :cryblood:

I swear to god the comments on every single video have some form of "ALR is such a victim" before they spill their life story like a meth head to a random stranger on a city bus. I don't know how it's so hard to not compare yourself to a fatass narc like ALR.

What, you don't enjoy the "I was xxx pounds and I had whatever procedure and I'm now yyy pounds, we're rooting for you!" or "I am bipolar and have ADHD and I'm on these meds and it's horrible she has to suffer with these things while people are being dooyheads to her!" over and over?

Actually, she already did. It was around the last week or so of October 2022, and supposedly recommended by her 'lipedema specialist'. (Actually, it may have been a few weeks, anyway, whatever). It was a pretty dirty form of keto. As I recall correctly, in addition to her meals which were heavy in meat and processed chesse (and relatively light in vegetables), she also ate, like, a FULL CASE of porkrinds in that short time. She actually referred to them as a 'staple' in the keto diet. I think the fat-embolism arc may come before the hypo/hyperglycemia arc.

Edited to Add:
The keto arc ended when her doctor looked at some scan of her torso around the dangling lung era and noticed some sludge in her gallbladder. Amber started saying that keto was giving her gallbladder pain or something to get the doctor to tell her to stop taking Ozempic and to stop the keto diet. In reality, she had just binged on a slop pail full of rice or buttered noodles or something, and was looking for an excuse to quit.

I doubt that whole scan thing. I think she just said "wah, sludgy gallbladder" and there ain't no way that bitch is getting an ultrasound. She's too fat, for one, and I bet she's just whining about insurance/800 bucks to cover the fact that she's too goddamned fat for an ultrasound and too goddamned giantly round for a CT.

My favorite part of that was when she said she didn't think the Ozempic was helping very much and that it was by her own sheer willpower that she was dropping the weight. Then she stopped taking it and gained everything back within a week.

I wonder if she really believes her lies because they're a sop to her ego, or if it's her fragile ego excusing her fat, lazy ways and she knows it.

She said one of the reasons she quit Keto was because she had pain and diarrhea. She was hoovering industrial sized bags of pork rinds whilst also eating tubs of sugar free ice cream. She showed a haul of numerous tubs of keto icecream before quitting. That would have led to disaster pants really quickly. I had an ultrasound of my gallbladder last year. No way she would be able to turn and do the positions they require to get the imaging let alone being able to penetrate through the layers of blubber. I got my gallbladder removed laparoscopically a couple of months ago. I was told if you have difficulties (or maybe if you're super morbidly obese) you would need open abdominal surgery with a lot longer recovery time

Too much fat and the gallbladder being on strike or just not there and it is painful as fuck, first the gut when you eat, then your asshole when you're spewing molten lava out of your ass. Not fun, and I bet MG,W has a power washer attachment for that easy-entry shower to clean up Hamber.
 
I don't understand why she has so much art from subscribers and that sketch her brother gave her and she has never thought to hang any of it. It's kinda shitty to be like "thanks for the art, but it's not ~aesthetically pleasing~".

Edit:
What, you don't enjoy the "I was xxx pounds and I had whatever procedure and I'm now yyy pounds, we're rooting for you!" or "I am bipolar and have ADHD and I'm on these meds and it's horrible she has to suffer with these things while people are being dooyheads to her!" over and over?
Not in her comments, in reaction channel comments. It's not uncommon to see something like "ugh she's lying about being molested and that makes me so angry because when I was molested I was passed around like the offering plate at church and you know what I GOT OVER IT which is why I'm venting to random strangers on a video about some fat bitch choking on a potato and shitting herself" and the replies are like "ya she's so disgusting but ur brave babes <33333". I have no idea how those people manage to function in life.

I wonder if she really believes her lies because they're a sop to her ego, or if it's her fragile ego excusing her fat, lazy ways and she knows it.
I think on some level she's aware that she's lying to herself, but her ego is so big that it doesn't matter. Like when she fell and had complications solely due to her weight, but she kept saying that skinny people fall too. I think even the most blatant lies like how she never had BED and doesn't binge eventually fall into that category where she convinces herself that it's not a problem.
 
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I don't understand why she has so much art from subscribers and that sketch her brother gave her and she has never thought to hang any of it. It's kinda shitty to be like "thanks for the art, but it's not ~aesthetically pleasing~".

Probably doesn't want to look at how others see her fat mug.

Edit:

Not in her comments, in reaction channel comments.

Ah, where the victim to hero of my own life race really gets ramped up!

I think on some level she's aware that she's lying to herself, but her ego is so big that it doesn't matter. Like when she fell and had complications solely due to her weight, but she kept saying that skinny people fall too. I think even the most blatant lies like how she never had BED and doesn't binge eventually fall into that category where she convinces herself that it's not a problem.

Such a weirdo way of thinking. Must be that narc brain miswire.
 
Ever notice that Amber doesn't get nearly as upset about people messaging her directly to point out that she sucks, as she does if there's irrefutable evidence of it put out where her audience can see it?
Almost as if she's running a con and doesn't want the people supporting her channel to notice that she isn't worth watching.
 
What, you don't enjoy the "I was xxx pounds and I had whatever procedure and I'm now yyy pounds, we're rooting for you!"
I was xxx pounds and had 2 procedures done to lose a nice chunk of weight. The first removed a fork from my mouth and the second removed my ass from a chair. It's incredible how effective those treatments have been. I'm not rooting for her though.
 
Ah, where the victim to hero of my own life race really gets ramped up!
Sometimes I find myself getting really nervous for guys like Snowflake because in addition to the a-logs, there is an assload of fatherless behavior in haydur nation. I just see them trying so hard to invade the nest and I really don't want to see a stand up guy like that go the Rekeita route.
Ever notice that Amber doesn't get nearly as upset about people messaging her directly to point out that she sucks, as she does if there's irrefutable evidence of it put out where her audience can see it?
Almost as if she's running a con and doesn't want the people supporting her channel to notice that she isn't worth watching.
It's probably connected to that weird shit she does where she reaches out to gay guys that run reaction channels to try to be besties. It's much easier to manipulate people one-on-one.
 
Was she supposed to post on Mon/Wed/Fri; where is the Monday one? I guess it was the fault of the wonky batteries in her phone, or because something terrible happened that she cannot talk about it.
Her plan to steal the views back from the dastardly view-stealing reaction channels didn't work out. Fatass really is buying views so we don't make fun of her though, who are these thousands of people viewing her videos 4 days out? Being a vain 600 lb toddler would be tiring for someone with a conscience, not our feedee though.
 
Was she supposed to post on Mon/Wed/Fri; where is the Monday one? I guess it was the fault of the wonky batteries in her phone, or because something terrible happened that she cannot talk about it.
Monday was a sacred holiday, her and Jade were likely out participating in traditional Juneteenth celebrations.
they went to KFC
 
Amber themed subreddit had a moment of interest regarding the box of Bath and Body Works stuff Amber got.
It was a resealed box - you can see the clear packing tape on the box over the amazon tape when she holds the package in front of the camera.
(Video: I'm done with my toxic ex, weight loss update, & moving on | vlog, June 12, 2023)
box.png

That doesn't mean that Amber (or Jade) couldn't have packed Ambo's old candles and shit into the box. It just means that Gorlworld's theory of the box coming straight from Amazon isn't correct.

Oh, wow, what a surprise! Ambo missed her upload schedule that she just set on June 12th! This is HIGHLY UNUSUAL behaviour from her. I hope she's okay. Quick everyone: drop everything and run over to her channel to ask her how she's dooooeeeen!
(sarcasm - don't do that)
 
I didn't bother to even watch Hamberlynn, but I saw Dusty posted in her CP something that says "Narcissists are like Yeah I hurt you, but now you hate me so I am the true victim." The tea spilling days are all over and done with it looks like. Way to blow your wad, Dusty. Even if she comes back saying she has more tea, I'm not fucking watching it. Only way I'm watching one of these fucking bumkins is if the Thumb comes out of hiding and has fucked up pics on top of tales from the Amberverse.
 
Most of the recent video is a bust. More just inane rambling about upload schedule and what not. Listed off a bunch of other channels that don't have a set schedule.

I am guessing that those channels are not run by death fats who make promises but wtf do I know? I am also going to assume they monetize their shit a lot better than you Ambie.

More shit bought. Another dog blanket? Now I never have owned a dog but how many fucking blankets do they need? Aren't they possessive of things? Wouldn't one be enough?

Rubber case for a Nintendo Switch? Why? Can't you just not buy something once?

Clothing give away don't care. No other American nearby would ever wear that shit (not because of taste but because of size!); the only way Amber's old clothing will ever be reused is if some how those tent size shirts end up in some refugee camp half way around the world.

Take out challenge (again). Once again, semantic lynn strike; it's not the take out monster keeping you fat, it's you.

Oh and yes one last hurray! What every successful addict has!

It's not rock bottom; it's one last go before we hang up the cleats.

Edit - one last thought; I love when she brings in the calorie number into what ever shit food she is eating. That's always a defense with fatties. They love the numbers when it is an excuse to stuff their face with anything.
 
Plot Summary with Commentary. Hmm, according to the timestamp, she uploaded this at 3am. Late for Monday, or early for Wednesday? She probably missed Monday's upload because she was too busy building her behemoth backlog of bullshit that she'll be gracing us with for the next few weeks as 'vlogs'.

We ALL KNOW this video is going to be:
  1. Highly processed shit that she ALWAYS buys,
  2. Promising no takeout - which will go the same way as all of her other 'no takeout' challenges,
  3. 'Donating' unworn clothing she previously hauled (aka, illegally dumping it outside the Goodwill), to make room for more hauls of clothing she won't wear.

Anyway, I'm babbling and we've all got stuff to do, so let's just get this over with.

"Hi, Hello, it's yours truly". I'm not sure if the swelling of her massive head is from ego or fat. I'm guessing BOLTH.

Amber claims that she puts too much pressure on herself to maintain a schedule. No one she watches has an upload schedule, except for the ones that do (yeah, because they pretty much all produce loser nontent just like she does). Tons of jump cuts while she lists so many garbage YouTube channels. [SKIP]

FREEZE FRAME!
freezeframe.png


Amber's NEW new schedule: whenever she feels like it, which will make her more willing to vlog. "The psychology of the brain is a weird one". Yes, especially for ODD youth who become NPD adults.

AMAZON HAUL!!! Pet blanket for Rarity, because Rarity insists on sleeping on one of Amber's sweaters that Amber wants to put away. So fucking retarded - the cat doesn't want a cat blanket, she wants her owner's sweater. It's a cat thing - as all cat owners (who aren't retarded hambeasts) know. Just let her sleep on the damn sweater.

"SO soft"... yes, from all of those petroleum products in these synthetic fabrics. You have eleventy bazillion shirts - let you cat sleep on the damn sweater!

AMAZON HAUL, THE SEQUEL!! Amber is back to playing Animal Crossing and is an AC:NL fanatic (for those 2 haydurs who mentioned in the comments that Amber bought and never played the game).... so Amber bought a pink "Scream" Switch case. This segment made no sense.

JUMPCUT! Amber acting like a retard by not knowing how to put the case on her Nintendo Switch.... While wearing a ratty shirt that looks like bleach got spilled all over it.

JUMPCUT! The closet - Amber has to turn sideways to get through the door.

Amber has the urge to purge ... likely to make room for more hauls. Amber goes through the stuff one by one for the camera. Some of them still have tags. [SKIP]

OH! This is going to be an ONGOING process because "Rome wasn't built in a day". She's going to drag this out as content for multiple vlogs. Want to know what she throws out? Tune in next time: same FAT time, same FAT channel!!

Black Mirror Update: Don't care [SKIP]

Jade's Tattoo Update: She's had another session since we saw it, and is doing the next session for it "tomorrow". Amber shows Jade's tattoo.

Amber shows the tattoo of her writing that Jade got on her arm. It's LIDURALLY just:
So muCh
So muCh
So muCh
Scrawled in letters that look like they were done by an 8 year old.

Oh, and yeah, we TOTALLY believe that you had nothing to do with that 'Wifey' tattoo about 4-5" above that which you keep trying to not show on camera. It's just the 'so much' tattoo and the pluviophile tattoo with the ugly umbrella". Sure, Ambo.
tat.png


[Edited to Add:]
This is the best I could get of the wifey tattoo in this video. It's been shown a little more clearly in previous videos, but it's obvious she's trying to hide it, as there is a rough jump cut as soon as it comes into view:
wifey.png


Haha, sorry to drag this out, but I thought it was funny. While Googling 'pluviophile' to confirm the spelling (as the Amberverse is the only place where I've even HEARD this word), I came across "https://pluviophile.net - a site dedicated to people who turn this into their entire personality! And if that's not enough for you, there's also https://www.pluviophile.com!
:lunacy:

Anyway, enough of that shitshow, and back to the Amber shitshow.

GROCERY HAUL! Yeah, it's the same shit she always buys: chicken, turkey burgers, ayygs, bacon, plastic wrapped fruits and veggies (conveniently prepackaged for easy disposal), minute rice, frozen rice, nuts, cheese, oatmeal and bananas (which she hates), etc. You know the deal. Amber declares that "Fruit is nature's candy!"

Jumpcut - frozen sugar drink and soda from McDonald's. What happened to the entire fridge full of "Nature's Candy"? Starting tomorrow is the 'Don't Order It' no takeout challenge - so today is the last hurrah. We all know how this will end... sitting in her own shit as she chokes on another whole potato.

Amber teases that she may chop off half of her hair. We all know that's as likely to happen as Amber being sucessful at a no takeout challenge.

TL;DR: TOTAL NONTENT. Amber throws away her M-W-F upload schedule, to uploading whenever she feels like it (in order to make her more willing to vlog). Yes, she is that much of a narc that she even rebels against rules set by HERSELF. She also does a grocery haul that looks like every single other one of her "Look at me, I eat HULTHY" food hauls. Amber selects a few clothes for donation, but decides to turn this into a multi-episode series. Amber shows Jade's new tattoo, as well as the ones that Jade got for Amber (but tries to hide and doesn't take credit for the 'wifey' one). No mention of anything relating to the WLS process.
 
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