Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[brooky]

So Amber is going to try to eat like 90% of the working world. Coffee for breakfast, a quick lunch while at work, and dinner when they get home? Does she not realize most people dont eat for 16 hours at a time already?
Dinner at 7pm. ..night chores and tv etc with the family, wake up at 6 am (11 hours later) have a cup or two of black coffee...work..lunch at 11 or 12... so 16 hours of fasting... then lunch and dinner within 8 hours of each other.

I think a lot of people still eat breakfast, like a bagel on the go or whatever. When I worked in offices, a lot of people ate breakfast muffins or yoghurt and stuff.

I know that's not your point, I just don't think intermittent fasting is actually that common. My life has been a lot better since I stopped believing in the myth of Breakfast as the Most Important Meal, but I think lots of people really do need to eat some kind of breakfast. Different strokes for different folks.

But obviously Amber following anything resembling a normal or common way of eating is pretty laughable.

 

[Boolean Bitch]

Plot summary with commentary. Hmmm, I think I can answer this without watching the video. "My new lifestyle" - one day doesn't make a new lifestyle. "Eat with me" - ew gross, no. "Tarot reading" - you've already told us that you believe that tarot reading is bullshit.

Also, WTF is up with this? I thought watching videos of people eating is 'triggering', Ambo? I thought people seeing what you eat and commenting on it is 'triggering'? I thought broccoli was just as triggering as ice cream to you? Also, 4 days in a row? [Edit: 3 days in a row; 4 videos in 6 days]. Tell us you're desperate for coin without telling us that you're desperate for coin. Anyway, I'm stalling. This do this!

Spoiler: my new lifestyle, eat with me, & tarot reading | vlog

OMG A GIANT ANACONDA IS EATING AMBER, AND SHE'S THRASHING HER HEAD AROUND TO TRY AND GET OUT!! Sorry - false alarm: she's just wearing that stupid snakeskin tarp made by 'BishHuge'.

"Day 2 of no takeout... and I'm super happy about that " HAHAHA, tell that to your FACE. Seriously, she looks like she's in a hostage situation (type deal).

Amber COUNTED 1638 calories, which means she probably had around 3000. And 77oz of water (don't worry, she'll be back to her entire fluid intake being 4 cans of sodie per day by the end of the week).

Amber talks about the missing submarine. Amber doesn't understand the negative comments around it - don't hobby-shame! (despite Amber just saying you'd have to be crazy to have wanted to do this). Amber prattles on - not about the situation, but the COMMENTS SECTION from the news reports on this.

Amber's talking about hot-air balloons, and how she wouldn't go in one but lots of people enjoy it, and I'm zoning out from watching her wobble and jiggle from talking.

Also, the eye contact is unsettling. Go back to eye-fucking yourself in the viewfinder.

She's torn up inside thinking about what the 5 people went through. They died doing what they love - just like what you're doing to yourself.

This must be her setting the stage for when she inevitably tells us she's failed this new 'eat hulthy' diet.

Amber USES A FASTING APP. You know, instead of just being productive in her day and eating on a schedule like everyone else in the world. She's sitting there WATCHING it tick away - and now so are we.

Five minutes to go, so time to get food! She's not doing breakfast, lunch, dinner, she's just eating what she wants - like every other single 'diet' of hers.

Now we get to watch MORE dead air, this time as Amber stares vacantly into the fridge. This segment takes way too long.

Amber shows us her using the tare function to zero out her bowl, and fill it with food.

UGH WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS??!?!?! I've got a stomach of absolute STEEL, but this actually made me gag:

Amber's doing this to be 'accountable'. No, you're doing it for the desperation clicks you get from people who enjoy watching pigs eat slop from a trough. And that's exactly how she looks shovelling this in. Ugh, she's even editing out the pauses inbetween bites to intensify this. Don't worry, I won't post pictures of this segment. [SKIP]

More sorting through her closet. It's not her shovelling an entire head of broccoli into her face hole, but still no. [SKIP]

Amber's not sure if she wants to get a set of tarot cards, but she's not sure if she believes in them. I'm personally of the opinion that the imagery helps you access information you already have in your subconscious. Regardless, it doesn't matter, as Amber's too lazy to bother learning all of the meanings of the 78 individual minor and major arcana cards (with their reversals), and the significance of various combinations that appear in spreads. She probably wouldn't even bother with looking into which DECK is right for her based upon her perceptions of how the universe works... but this is all woowoo talk, so let's move on. Amber says that you can't use tarot on someone who doesn't agree to it. She believes in tarot when it comes from the 'right type of energy' but not when it comes from the wrong type. She sounds like an 11 year old who's just discovered fluffy-bunny Wicca.

OH, this segment was mainly to shit on ANTPHRODITE. Nevermind.

Inspirational Quote Time! She rolls the jar in her hand, and has Jade pick a paper colour to select. I'll cast your good energy spell, Ambo! "Pickle Jar of Morality turn-turn-turn, and tell us the lesson that we should learn" (yes, I just borrowed the 'wheel of morality' bit from Animaniacs - the universe told me that it was appropriate for this). "Stay positive, work hard, and make it happen". Oh MY GOD, SO WEIRD! When Jade told her to pick a white card from the pickle jar, Amber looked and saw a white card. GOOSEBUMPS!!!! (not really). Holy shit, how much more generic can you get? Here's your horoscope from Al Yankovic: "You'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep".

JUMPCUT TO AMBO'S COMPUTER SCREEN! It's some weird tarot deck I've never heard of, where even the men are women in it. Wyspell Feminine deck or something. 500+lbs, failed WLS prep, fatty liver, so inactive she had 2 bouts of pneumonia within 12 months, out of breath from talking, high blood pressure, constant skin infections, sleep apnea... and her dilemma is whether to pick the non-bordered cards or the bordered cards with hints on the card meanings. This is pure insanity. [SKIP]

Amber's comparing her camera to cell phone footage. She's tried EVERYTHING! Changing cameras, changing the lightbulbs in her apartment, etc. (If only she had a RINGLIGHT...)

This is obviously a case of user error - fuck right off [SKIP]

We're finally done.

TL;DR: WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WATCH?! Amber hits the trifecta of NONTENT, CUNTENT, AND DEGENERACY. This video is pure lunacy. Amber gives her opinion on the submarine disaster. Amber makes a bowl of slop, and shovels it in, editing all of the dead air inbetween bites. Amber picks through a few more tents in her closet. Amber spends a LOT OF TIME pondering about buying a tarot deck, and says she used to read in her past. Amber takes an opportunity to shit on Antphrodite (without mentioning his name). Words of inspiration from the pickle jar. Comparing the footage from her camera vs her phone from yesterday's vlog. LUNACY!!!

 

[Bibbity Bobbity]

I'm wondering if the mustard and veggies thing was stolen from an eating disordered YouTube "nutritionist".

In her memoir about bulimarexia, Marya Hornbacher wrote about dehydration, induced by both incessant vomiting and a lack of nutrients, makes you crave salt. She used tons of mustard on carrots and rice for salt.

 

[TardiX]

that thumbnail is monstrous

 

[FatalTater]

Amber's using 90's diet tips wrong again.
Kinda like how she "fries" food in water to save calories that would be in the oil, but then eats enough for two whole families?
Mustard was recommended because it has fewer calories than other sauces and there's a lot of flavor in a tiny amount.
It's not magic, it's just calories in, calories out.
No wonder FailureLynn can't get it right.

 

[notfoodienotbeauty]

my new lifestyle, eat with me, & tarot reading | vlog

Spoiler: June 23, 2023 Archive

View attachment 5175632

Good lord. Why won't this fat fuck just shower once for her super hard job?

 

[Turd Fergusson]

my new lifestyle, eat with me, & tarot reading | vlog

This is typical Amber. She is so excited when she starts a new diet, or lifestyle change, or basically anything new. Just go back to Optavia, Noom, Jenny Craig, etc. Then a few days later, something heart crushing that she cannot talk about happened and she binged became a food addict again. However, she will tell us that she will be talking to her therapist/dietician/friends/Feline/UberEat driver that she will be soon on tract.

Amber has mentioned many times that "trying" is as important as "succeeding". She will tell us that she never failed since she always continues to try, and when she did not succeed, it is because of someone or something else. As far as the wls, if the surgeon had put her on the wait list for surgery in February, she would had the surgery by now. But the surgeon maliciously refused her surgery. It was not her fault, it was the surgeon.

 

[The Heartthrob]

I'm pretty sure I know exactly why she likes tarot cards all of a sudden. The second Zachary Michael covered Cindy and forced her into the gorlworld sphere, Amberlynn was on her like flies on shit and has apparently been watching her ever since. She likes wiccan/spiritualist stuff and is learning how to give herself tarot readings so I think Amberlynn's trying to absorb her personality. Probably hoping she can weasel her way into having another youtube bestie like PinkSparkles, which I don't really see happening.

We know she went to the initial session, where she played with her phone the whole time. It is likely that she started therapy as you described. She was counting the sessions.

I do not believe all this nonsense with the dietitian, being proud of her for failing to lose weight. This is not the type of discussion that would come from a medical professional. I think she was told that she was not ready and would need to continue therapy and to lose xxx amount of weight before even being considered. She was probably told to get her sleep apnea tested which is why she is “processing “ what she needs to do next.

Twelve sessions seems like a reasonable amount as a prerequisite too. The sort of rhetoric and vocabulary she picked up is the kind of thing she'd only learn from therapy as well, unless she actually read The Body Keeps The Score which I highly doubt she ever gave a second thought after opening it.

Absolutely not. It gives me the same vibes as her old doctor allegedly telling her "You're healthy--but you're obese". It's a common lie with deathfats that they're actually super duper healthy despite being morbidly obese. She does say she's anti-HAES but I think that's more of a bartering chip with her audience to be like "I'm not one of THOSE fatties" while spewing the same rhetoric.
That could be too. I doubt they'd kick her out of the program even though the aforementioned Dr. Now thug life style beatdown would be a dream come true. She lied to herself thinking she could get approved immediately and get it over with and now she's frustrated and acting out.

 

[TardiX]

So this unwashed heffer STARTS her 8 hour eating window at 6pm. Must have a great sleeping schedule going there

 

[Atrax_Morgue_Dat_Pussy]

It's the little lies that amaze me at times.

Amongst her submarine word vomit she claim she knew "they were like going in there." (Her dumb words not mine. It's poorly said that I have trouble quoting it)

" I have been following it since the minute I found out it about. which was Sunday. I knew they were like going in there. Like going into the water the ocean" is what she said.

How the fuck did she know of this expedition before it made the news?

What's the point of making such statement?

 

[Billie Ross]

Amber always tells us a good story about a new diet and exercise. The question is how long will she stick to it. My guess is till the weekend. She will have the same success as Chantal’s 40 days of water fast.

She probably went to the clinic on Monday and was told to lose 50-100 pounds before even considering wls. Now, she is trying to lose the weight, but we all know how this will turn out. She will tell us it was her decision not to get wls as it was her decision not to get married.

She didn't get denied because she wasn't in a program. She finally ran out of story line for her WLS arc.

The imaginary therapist was to buy time while trauma dumping on her audience. She even stretched out the last couple "sessions" when she still hadn't come up with a story to get out of it.

Now we get "I have to have time to come up with a new lie process my decision*" before telling her audience what happened.

Retarded, lying, brat.

ETA: * Also has to make sure that decision she makes up absolves her of any fault or responsibility.

Judging by her track record, I don't believe she made up the whole thing. It doesn't explain away her being in the office and stuff either. What I'm guessing happened is she got set up with the right people and after she cried about needing to see a year's worth of consistent progress in order to be approved for surgery, they broke it down and told her to start off with therapy and they'd see how her weight loss went from there. Like always, she then lied about how it was going and how impressed her nutritionist was with her despite her total lack of progress since starting the program. As a result I'm guessing they either booted her from the program Dr. Now thug life style or they told her that she has to start from square one and now she's back to the cycle.

Late here, but I believe the main reason WLS was cancelled was lack of funds, not long ago she was required a gallbladder scan, and she was furious her insurance wont cover and was too expensive , if she cant pay for a scan imagine all the other exams required? She probably thought everything was included but I guess the price they gave her was only for the procedure, not the exams (I bet is a lot for a surgery on someone her weight), she has to pay all bills for her and Jade (otherwise she lost The Help), there's not a penny left.
She believes WLS is a miracle solution and she must be jealous of Tammy.
Her only hope is reaching 600lbs and calling Dr Now.
Sorry if this was already posted but is worth to see it again.

 

[Xenomorph]

Spare Amber the time, shes gonna pull the death card, everytime.

 

[notfoodienotbeauty]

Watching zm of her (again, I know, but I can't rawdog her) and her whole "you would never catch me going on that" (referring to the sub) and I can't stop imagining and laughing at her trying to squeeze her fat ass through that sub opening. Sideways, upside down, ass first, people pushing and pulling her. Hell, her fat ass wouldn't even fit inside that whole thing, that carried five people and I'm assuming some computers, technology, and some oxygen tanks. Anyway, she is just so stupid. I know we know that, but sometimes it is just unbelievable how incredibly dumb she is and that she has made it this far in life.

Also, I don't think she has insurance. I didn't watch her talk about insurance not paying for her scan, therapy, or how no wls takes any insurance in KY (bullshit), but as someone, who has always had insurance, I can't think of any time, not even once, in the last 30 years, for me, my husband, or children, where I have ever heard a certain doctor, place, specialist, etc. that just takes cash and no insurance at all. Sure, I've had test or prescriptions not covered, but usually the doctor submits something and it's approved. It makes no sense, to pay for insurance and then seek out every professional who doesn't accept it. Then again, this is Amber and she is that stupid. I just don't think she has it. She just doesn't want to hear people say she should get insurance.

I can buy that she can't afford wls, especially paying cash, she doesn't have money like that, not anymore. But I'm going with she was denied for the 5th and doesn't want to tell us that. She will make someone up though, it won't be her fault.

ETA-Zach just played a clip of her from last year, I believe, and boy has she gained a ton of weight since then. That program is working wonders.

 

[the sauce]

Keeping with the amberverse tendency to be barely interesting, Eric has been spotted on dating apps. Divorced? Poly? Who knows. According to comments on reddit, Eric does not have pictures of Rickie on his Facebook anymore. A boomer kiwi who still has Facebook will have to verify.

Grabbed some screenshots from apathetic faxx's insta:

Spoiler: dere he his

 

[Xenomorph]

 

[Turd Fergusson]

Also, I don't think she has insurance. I didn't watch her talk about insurance not paying for her scan, therapy, or how no wls takes any insurance in KY (bullshit), but as someone, who has always had insurance, Then again, this is Amber and she is that stupid. I just don't think she has it. She just doesn't want to hear people say she should get insurance.

This has been discussed at length in the past, and even now, we are not quite sure if she has or not. After her cancer surgery, she was on a supplementary insurance that would cover a portion of it, but did not have full insurance that she could buy under ACA. I believe that it is the reason she did not go to any follow-ops after tge surgery. Now, she might have bought the cheapest plan under ACA that cover barely anything and has a high co-pay and deductible.

I think the reason her insurance does not cover wls is that there might be restrictions before, such to have been in a medically supervised weight loss programme, before being approved. Obviously, Amber did not read the small print on what she bought.

I can buy that she can't afford wls, especially paying cash, she doesn't have money like that, not anymore. But I'm going with she was denied for the 5th and doesn't want to tell us that. She will make someone up though, it won't be her fault.

My view is that if she had been approved for wls, she would have come to YT and clamour to all haters that she is going “to save her life”. Now, she will tell us that she is not ready, and needs to prepare herself better.

 

[Atrax_Morgue_Dat_Pussy]

View attachment 5176975

I was trying to form an argument against the AI and the only defense I have of Amber is that she is used as inspiration as in she inspires people NOT to be like her.

I don't see Chris Chan doing that; it's gonna be cold day in hell before you start seeing people making videos saying Chris inspired them to not be autistic incest committing weirdos.

 

[FatalTater]

View attachment 5176975

That poor trolley wouldn't stand a chance against Amber's bulk.

 

[Dona Morte]

 

[LonelyEggRoll]

She looks like shit. I wonder is she close to her highest weight again, hence the panic-raw-veggies and snacking on almonds instead of her Ben & Jerrys.