Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

Are you looking forward to seeing Jade's face on camera?

  • Yes

    Votes: 550 15.6%
  • No

    Votes: 349 9.9%
  • I don't care

    Votes: 2,620 74.5%

  • Total voters
    3,519
destiny hurt me, im moving, ozempic, intimacy, self identity, weight loss surgery & more | q&a
7/5/23
I couldnt even get through the first 2 minute of the archive. This is insufferably bad. Maybe the worst shit Hamzilla has put out to date. God bless whichever one of you bites the bullet and does a recap...just make plans with loved ones for after you're done so you dont self delete...

We make fun of the poop bun, but what in hells name is this? Is this the binge monster? Full moon face on display as well. Woof.

1688568448989.png


And who is this MALE friend that is suddenly over at her apartment? And doesnt know what she does on youtube? And then goes and puts together a list of her instagram questions in a box to draw from? Sure Jan.

Did Jades boyfriend give you something to do while he was plowing your wifey?

Edit: Also I'm willing to bet there isnt a single frame in the video that is the thumbnail that "youtube todully automatically picks you guise!"
 
Last edited:
More performative bullshit from FatAl that she thinks people will actually fall for. Because she has no idea how actual people function. It does have a whiff of "Hi, I'm Amberlynn" and she thought THAT piece of dreck was good.

I also enjoyed the "swimming in the middle of the ocean" line. Though I think it was a set up, cause it's just too easy--ocean+whales="waaaah, people are so hateful to me when I'm so obviously trying to better myself on my journey".......

Besides, it's much more remarkable to see whales swimming in a backyard wading pool. Freebleeding. With a Thumb.
 
No makeup, that hair, is she trying to look younger? Can't turn back the clock on what you've done to your body and reputation, FailureLynn.
Speaking of hair, did she color it? At first I thought it looked like a wig, like it would have that fake scratchy synthetic feel? It looks damaged.
 
When Amber was approached to do MSHPL, she wanted to have creative control of her episode. They obviously refused. She would likely ask the same on a new show. I do not see anything compelling in doing a show on her that can't be done on loads of other super morbidly obese people. She is neither special nor famous.

I would totally watch a show where amber, destiney, whatever lowes appliance destiney is currently engaged to, Becky, and Jade all try and fail to qualify for WLS together
 
@Atrax_Morgue_Dat_Pussy WTF man?! You just assume that I'm some fucking lunatic who's just going to do a recap of absolute bottom-tier shit like this??!

( :biggrin: Just messing with you. I am and I did... but could we please continue to PRETEND that I don't have bats in my belfry?). I'm just having some connection issues right now. I'll edit this and paste in the recap as soon as it's working again :biggrin:

EDITED TO ADD:

@FarmVille said:
I would totally watch a show where amber, destiney, whatever lowes appliance destiney is currently engaged to, Becky, and Jade all try and fail to qualify for WLS together
And here all this time I thought that Destiny picks up all her gorls at Maytag. I guess shame on me for assuming she had some standards.

------------

Plot Summary with commentary. "Destiny hurt me". Wow, I thought she was never going to talk about Destiny again. And may I just add, HOLY FUCK!! Ambo is getting to Summer 2021 levels of chonk. She looks as big as she did when Becky rolled her shelf to the curb.

It's Q&A - another excuse to sit on her ass through the entire video. Today she's doing things differently - she's put all of the questions (that she's made up herself) onto slips of paper to randomly draw - and give the ILLUSION that she may have to answer a tough question from the audience...

... Is it too late to back out of this? Yeah? DAMNIT!! Let's get this over with. No more stalling, LET'S GO!!!

PRE-SPOILER SPOILER: 38 QUESTIONS!! There are so many jump cuts, you don't see her select the papers, nor do you have any idea what order they were pulled in or even if any were excluded. And of course you don't see her 'friend' write them and put them in the box - so her bullshit story of her 'friend' choosing these is meaningless.

Oh, she's using that box that normally holds her trolling crown to hold the question sheets. Awesome.

Amber's talking about a friend who doesn't exist - or is one of Jade's friends that Amber's latched on to. Amber blabs that her 'friend' knows nothing about her online persona, but selected a 'variety' of questions in different 'genres' like 'comedy', 'drama', etc. How would he know the difference if he didn't understand anything about your online persona? Logic does not exist in this dojo!


-----
Q1 Would you rather live on a farm, or a boat?

A1 Farm because Amber and boats don't connect. (no cow jokes, be nice...) Amber claims to have been on many boats as a child and even swam in the middle of the ocean (no whale jokes, be nice...) ... while living in a trailer with meth-heads/in a foster group home. Amber had no fear, but now she fears water (no bathing jokes, be nice...)
-----

-----
Q2 If you could visit any time period, what would it be?

A2 The 1950s to wear a poodle skirt. And here I thought she was going to choose to go back and sit with Rosa Parks on the bus.
-----

-----
Q3 Who is your favourite 90 day couple?

A3 Gino and Jasmine. Amber goes into details which I'm not gonna type out, because I DGAF.
-----

-----
Q4 What is one thing you'll never do again?

A4 Amber will never eat meth again. Amber had the chance to add in that she'd never eat Vicks VapoRub again, but doesn't. Make of that what you will.
-----

-----
Q5 Can you make recipes at home like take out, but instead 'fake out'?

FREEZE FRAME!!
freezeframe1.png

A5 Of course she can't. Are you FUCKING RETARDED?!
-----

-----
Q6 What is your coming out story?

A6 Amber's mom found a love letter in Amber's pants, but accepted it and didn't even mention it until months later by saying "I think women are hot". Her dad kinda knew despite her never telling him. She came out to him at 24 and he was very accepting - INVALIDATING EVERY PREVIOUS 'COMING OUT' STORY SHE'S EVER TOLD HER AUDIENCE.

FREEZE FRAME!!
freezeframe2.png

-----

-----
Q7 Are you continuing to heal from your past trauma?

A7 Yes, but she hasn't had a therapy appointment for the last 3 weeks (and won't until it's time to dust off and revisit the 'WLS arc' again)
-----

-----
Q8 What made you feel disconnected with your weight loss surgery journey?

A8 Amber let fear 'hardcore' get in the way. Her gut was telling her something bad was going to happen (mainly that she wouldn't be able to eat her dainty snack of 20 pc nuggies, large fries, cheeseburgers, and large McFlurry anymore). Amber trusts her gut (not realizing that her gut = her addiction).
-----

-----
Q9 What's one good habit that you've accomplished in June that you'll carry with you into July?

A9 Eating at home more, and less takeout. Amber can't understand why so many people think that they need to count calories to lose weight, and doesn't realize that 99.99% of the population aren't LAND WHALES able to lose weight from eating 3500 calories/day. At her height, her sedentary TDEE at a healthy weight would only be about 1400-1500 calories. Not a lot of wiggle room there if you aren't counting.
-----

FREEZE FRAME!!
freezeframe3.png

WTF? How am I getting so many? Is she fucking HIGH?

-----
Q10 Do you have an exercise routine right now?

A10 She doesn't (shocking NO ONE). WHO ASKED THIS?!? Is it the same retard who asked if Amber could cook?!
-----

-----
Q11 What are some ways that you found your self identity?

A11 By mirroring others and pretending to be a lesbian - sorry, I'll let Amber answer. Amber says she has no idea who she is. She doesn't even know what her favourite colour is. She only knows what types of music she likes based on how it makes her feel, and that she loves LAYGOES. Nevermind, just use the answer I put for her.
-----

-----
Q12 How long do you feel is appropriate to be in a talking stage before dating?

A12 Yeah, ask the narc who love-bombs then U-Hauls her GFs ON THE FIRST DATE about relationship pacing.

FREEZE FRAME!!!
freezeframe4.png

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. I'll stop.

Amber says it depends, as every situation is different. Amber feels that talking to someone for 2 days is enough. And to be fair, two days of in-person talking is 2 days more than Ambo has EVER done before latching on to a new gorl, and would be an improvement.
-----

-----
Q13 Why did you agree to talk to Destiny at all, knowing it wouldn't be good for you?

Amber had no idea that her 'friend' was going to put this question in (obvious Duper's delight smile)!

A13 Because we all know she's still inFATuated (heheh) with the Dustbuster. Okay, I'll let Amber answer. She says it's because Amber wanted her own closure. Amber totally wasn't watching her live, and felt BLINDSIDED and wasn't able to ask the questions that she wanted. People thought that Amber showed her true colours, but NO, you just saw the very angry and betrayed side of Amber and not the TRUE Amber. Destiny has absolutely BETRAYED Amber (by speaking the truth about how Amber behaves and treats people).

Amber still doesn't realize that the reactions that come out of a person instinctually ARE THAT PERSON instead of the controlled, artifical, and edited behaviours. And also: how would you know that's not the real you, if you don't know who you are, Amber? She told you she was live. You could have hung up, but chose to engage. That shows who you really are.

Still on the Destiny nonsense. She was BLINDSIDED. Lots of imaginary people DMed her on how well she responded to Destiny.

Amber says she has more than 300 sides to her. (:biggrin:)

No one can look Amber in the moon, and say they've never been angry at someone. OMG YOU ARE BOTH SHITTY PEOPLE. MOVE THE FUCK ON!
-----

We're only half-way done.... You know, I had the choice between doing this or scrubbing the toilet, and I am currently regretting my choice.

-----
Q14 Where do you see yourself a year from now?
RIP.png

A14 Amber says happy and healther than she is now, and at a lower weight than she is currently. Aim low, Ambo. Oh, and 'thriving' at whatever goal she set. That ain't happening - unless it's LAYGOES related.
-----

-----
Q15 Any games you're currently obsessed with?

A15 Restaurant Story (of course it has to be food related). She's so proud that in 2010, her restaurant was 'banging' (as is everyone's restaurant after playing for 3 days). And now she's 'low-key obsessed' with it again. Also Animal Crossing NH on Switch (which also has had a large food component added due to it's mid-life update, in case anyone was wondering)
-----

-----
Q16 Have you ever thought of doing an inspiration board for your goals instead of journals?

A17 Amber thinks it's a good idea (but as it's work, she'll do neither).
-----

-----
Q18 What are your favourite ways of de-stressing?

A18 EATING- Uh, I mean LAYGOES. She's also BACK into journaling (despite telling us the whole time that she was journaling). Watching ASMR videos.
-----

-----
Q19 Do you think intermittent fasting helps?

A19 Yes, because it helps her not think about food during her fast (despite her just saying that she was obsessing during her fast about McDonalds and then ate a fuckton of burgers and fries).
-----

.... and my connection just committed seppuku from having to endure this. I had better NOT have to start from the beginning....
.... okay, back.... sorta....

-----
Q20 Who are your Favourite Animal Crossing Villagers?

BERTHA!! Just kidding. She was my favourite in Animal Crossing New Leaf... until she kept asking me to get her so much fruit to eat that my TREES STARTRD DYING from harvesting them so much.

A20 Amber won't say as 'no mom picks favourites'.... so she either doesn't play... OR HER FAVOURITE IS BERTHA!!! :biggrin:
-----

-----
Q21 How was your first time getting spicy with 'Feline' (JADE)?
vomit ASCII.jpeg


A21 She was shy (and it never happened, just like how she was pretending to have smexy times with Krystal and Becky, which also never happened). Amber's trying to describe what 'it' feels like, but can't (as she has no previous experience to draw from).
-----

-----
Q22 Are you planning on moving sooner now that WLS isn't a factor?

A22 YES (no info given).
-----

-----
Q23 Are we going to get a full apartment tour?

A23 Maybe, when she's moving.
-----

-----
Q24 Do you think it was partly anxiety that made you delay WLS.

A24 No, she never felt anxious. (She just felt an overwhelming irrational fear that something really bad would DEFINITELY happen - proving Amber uses medical terms without understanding what they are or what they mean)
-----

-----
Q25 Should I show my fiance my wedding gown? I'm too excited to hide it from him.

A25 Nononononononononono....
-----

-----
Q26 Can we see your Animal Crossing island?

A26 YES! I've been meaning to show you, but I keep forgetting (TRANSLATION: since I know you want to see it, I don't wanna show it to you).

Amber says that she "used to play Animal Crossing on... like... the original Animal Crossing game". It's laughable how she'll lie about the dumbest shit. So you had a N64 in the mid-late 1990s while living in your roach-infested trailer with your service dog abusing mom and lawn mower repair guy/'scratch-off' buying/meth dealing dad? Or were you playing the SECOND game from this franchise on GameCube in the early 2000's while bouncing around in Foster care and chor-e-oh-griffing dances for S.P.A.C.E?

Amber flicks her hair like a snob and acts like she's better than her audience because she knows that the franchise is older than 2020. Then she says that she's been playing since she lived in Virginia - which would have been OVER A DECADE after the franchise started.
-----

-----
Q27 What is yours and your girlfriend's top inside joke and the story behind it? (Oh yeah, this question TOTALLY WASN'T written by Ambo /sarcasm).

A27 She's not going to tell you, as then it wouldn't be an inside joke anymore - it would be an outside joke.
-----

-----
Q28 What's a YouTuber that you would classify as a guilty pleasure?

A28 Yo Mamma. I have no idea who that is or if I even typed it correctly. There must be some controversy because Amber is quick to say that she JUST started watching 6 days ago, so if he needs to be cancelled for any reason, she doesn't know about it.
-----

-----
Q29 Would you consider getting back on Ozempic?

A29 She's THOUGHT about it, but she didn't CHOOSE to stop taking it. Her doctor told her to stop because of her pancreas. Amber LOVED Ozempic (which is why she kept refusing to up the dosage, and why she was pounding down Delta 8 gummies around the clock to try and stimulate her appetite).
-----

-----
Q30 What do you think is your biggest strength and flaw?

A30 Flaw = super emotional, because some people consider emotions like crying to be a weakness... but not Amber. Strength = she's gone through so much and she can still turn on the camera and 'do her 'thing''. Amber thinks this is really deep. Her strength is that she has strength.
-----

-----
Q31 Why is your skin always glowing?

A31 (Because the writer of this question needs glasses or a med adjustment). Amber makes a pig face and squeals "HUHHH???" I agree with the confusion. I think the viewer meant GROWING.
-----

-----
Q32 Any plans for the 4th?

A32 Today is the 4th of July. So seems like she spent it alone doing a Q&A to try and stick it to the haydurs while Jade spent the day with her real partner?

Amber makes up a story that she went to a party molment on Friday, and then went to her 'friend's' place on Saturday, and then had 'friends' come over on Sunday.
-----

-----
Q34 Favourite purchase of all time?

A34 Her camera - The Canon G7X Mark II (that she still doesn't know how to use). She loves it because 'most vloggers use it'.
-----

-----
Q35 How are you dealing with the pressure from people wanting to push WLS on you?

A35 She's dealin'. The 'trolls' - the MAJORITY of people - want the opposite of what Amber wants. It's true: the MAJORITY of her audience wants her to stop being a fuckup... which is the opposite of what she wants. Me? I DGAF. Go eat another chicken sausage, you fucking weirdo.

Amber takes this opportunity to shit on her audience. No one's gonna push her to have the majority of her hockey bag of a stomach taken out of her to create a normal- sized stomach!! YOU TELL'EM, GIRL!! GO-GO-GO, AMBO!
-----

-----
Q36 Would you appear as a guest on the H3 podcast?

A36 She's THOUGHT about it, but it depends on why Ethan would want her there. What? You think he would want you for your vast well of knowledge? Your informed insight in current politics? As a weight loss expert? You're a freakshow - and people would want to interview you for the freakshow value. Accept your brand.
-----

-----
Q37 What's the moment you felt most proud of yourself?

A37 Probably graduating highschool as she was the first EVER in her family, and since her there have been several to do so (which Aunt Tammie has said was a COMPLETE LIE). Graduating highschool is easy for everyone, but not for AMBER because of WHERE SHE CAME FROM (and not because she was a narcissistic blimp of a hell spawn that had to be transferred to a continuation school to graduate).

Amber's also proud of the 1 year of for-profit schooling she got from Brown Mackie - a college where just paying tuition is enough to get your degree... yet Amber still managed to fail that as well. Oh no, sorry: she didn't graduate because she had to quickly latch onto a new host in another state, and not because she fails everything she tries.
-----

-----
Q38 Any upcoming date plans for you and your girlfriend?

A38 Watching fireworks tonight.
-----

Byee!!! - Oh THANK GOD.

TL;DR: There was absolutely NOTHING OF VALUE that you missed. Amber made up stories, spoke with her brain disconnected from her mouth, patted her massive shelf, and hinted at things but gave no real info. Amber says that now that she isn't paying for WLS, she'll be moving, but gave no timeline or other info. Ambo LOVED Ozempic, but it was her doctor that made her stop taking it because of Amber's pancreas. Amber feels BETRAYED by what Destiny did to her with that phonecall and those livestreams, because this was someone who she loved and who loved her back. Amber insists that the natural outbursts we see from her AREN'T THE REAL HER, but rather the heavily controlled and scripted things we see are the real her. Amber has no self identity as she doesn't know anything about herself - except that she likes LAYGOES. Amber sees herself happy, a lighter weight, and triumphing over her goals in a year's time...

... where everyone else sees:
RIP.png



(Sorry, this stupid smiley is stuck and I can't delete it)
:biggrin:
 
Last edited:
And who is this MALE friend that is suddenly over at her apartment? And doesnt know what she does on youtube? And then goes and puts together a list of her instagram questions in a box to draw from? Sure Jan.

Did Jades boyfriend give you something to do while he was plowing your wifey?
A few months ago, some user was talking about Amber basically being a sexless partner through most of her relationships. As in, she got into celibate arrangements that she presented online as genuine romantic partnerships. It could be one of the reasons Dusty dumped her, that 99% of the time there was no fucking at all (as Beckster pointed out in '21). Obviously Amber would still insist on exclusivity as she is an insecure buffet of Cluster B traits and needed both a caretaker and a metaphorical toilet for her to "emotionally dump" into.

Come Summer '21. Thumb has had enough of Hamber. The 4 year stability and routine she has grown accustomed to have cracked. She is left alone because her family is still fucked up and Becky's social circle are the only "friends" she had. This is extremely apparent at the beginning where she was sobbing and emotionally manipulating Becky "You can work on yourself while being with me", before she admitted they were nothing but roommates out of pure pettiness. Those initial tears were not about losing a lover and probably not even a friend, it was her realizing she would have to walk to get anywhere and wipe her own ass from that point.
Then, about two weeks later, here comes the elusive Wipey. Until she got doxed which forced Amber to make up the "fahhlin/my girlfriend" alias, we knew fuck all about her. Hints were dropped, but very little. Not showing her is a break in the pattern which feels extremely strange for a woman living her entire life in cycles.

The most notable moment of this "Becky bye-bye" period was Amber bringing up polyamorous relationships, unprompted and for no reason, coyly smiling and looking beside the camera as she said it. This was never brought up again.
Hence comes the truth: Wipey is there only for the cointatas which is why she never shows up on camera in person. She made Amber make-up the second girlfriend persona to try and lessen the spread of the Jade Francis dox. Jade does nothing but come there to be a caretaker and drive her around like Necky did, then probably fucks off for a while - which is why we don't see her for large periods of time. The poly comment is probably a slip-up to the fact that Wipey comes and goes, then fucks whomever she wants on the side. Amber needs the attention and is too proud to admit she hired a stranger to wipe her ass, drive her to the E.R. and pretend to like her online.

The fact that people have connected this "guy friend" is probably mere speculation at this point, but it's interesting. Amber seldom has male friends (despite the fake lezzie theory) and her only known male acquaintances are within her family, and Becky's gay friends. It's way out of left-field, the way she brought this up, very suspect.

Personally, I look forward to the possibility of the Amberlynn Reid Cuckold Arc. I imagine many GW losers are gonna moralize about it being valid, but it would also be funny to know that both Amber and Foodie Beauty are literally paying losers they met online to fake love them, at the same damn time.
 
ding ding ding, I will always and forever tout that this bitches' relationships are sexless. You can tell couples that do it because of silent confidence and they never speak about it. Amber for a decade now will always tell on herself. The Jade/wifey shit was a rouse cruise to obfuscate Jade's messy dealing in NYC. The defendants will catch wind of her through tip-offs and then can build a case. The stupid bitch said she was petrified of traveling yet drove through multiple states.

The move is inevitable because as @Turd Fergusson and others has said, the money month by month will diminish forcing her to leave, and as the months tick by she dips into her savings.

Also, your friends were around BULLSHIT, Amber has no friends she crumbles when Jade fucks off.
 
Am I the only one that thought the meth eating story, when it came up before (and if true at all), was like a toddler thing? Not a fucking 15 year old.

Also her favourite color is emerald. She says it all the fucking time. And uses it for why JADE got her JADE colored flowers and it's because she likes EMERALD, shitlord.

She's just got YA-novel main character "figuring myself out" syndrome at 32 fucking years old. Cringe
 
I don’t find it impossible to believe that Jade is a degenerate fat fetishists and is genuinely with Amber because she is 🤮 and not in it for dwindling YouTube bucks. Plenty of women as big and gross as Amber find degenerate men.

Im sure she’s moving because rents in the south have been going up like crazy. Even in places like Lexington.
 
Last edited:
I swear, her nose looks like it's getting more upturned like a pig's. She looks like she's getting close to or at her biggest ever again.

When she was at her highest weight, the top of her cheeks developed points. I noticed the other day the points are coming back.

She was talking again about her gallbladder. Can any med kiwi's explain something to me? I've never understood why when people lose a lot of weight like on 600 lb life, sometimes they get gallbladder problems. I don't get how they didn't get it eating massive amounts of fatty foods, but when they stop, they get it? Google is not my friend because I can only find info on that there is a lot of fat being processed out of the body, but they don't explain why eating crap all day doesn't cause it as much
 
Amber can't retell one single story from her past without twisting and changing it. That "my mom found out I'm gay from a letter" story was different when she told it during the Destiny era. Back then she claimed her dad found out because her mom told him about the letter (it was a note she wrote at school and left in the pocket of her jeans on the floor in her bedroom) and he flipped out on Amber. Her mom was also more on the negative side of it, wasn't automatically accepting like she's claiming now. This also supposedly happened when she was 16, which by her timeline she should have been in foster care, but also by her timeline at that point in her life she "thought she was bi" and was dating/jerking off boys in movie theaters.
 
Back