- Joined
- Mar 9, 2022
my mukbang era is back, food fixations, & I'm losing my mind | vlog
Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.
- Thread starter PiggyPie
- Start date
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2016
The Gaining Ground is on with Belinda discussing Yo Momma and how shockingly, abnormally stupid he is.
Amber and her mile long titty crack entered the chat to dick ride Yo Momma and GG.
It did now go well for her and she got run the fuck off. Hopefully that will be her next vlog.
Amber and her mile long titty crack entered the chat to dick ride Yo Momma and GG.
It did now go well for her and she got run the fuck off. Hopefully that will be her next vlog.
RedMage
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2022
I take it she took the "This slaps" from Jade?
And what is with the mustard recently?
EDIT: Out of curiosity, I looked up the Califlower wings she appears to be eating.
Considering she really loved this so much, it's safe to assume she went back and ate the rest of them.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2022
No fatso, WE name your eras. You dont get to declare an era. You cannot return to an era. You are still in the post Jade Francis of NY, My Gorlfriend, Wifey left me cus I'm a fat piece of shit era.
- Joined
- Aug 18, 2022
I tried to listen but I can’t take the pure stupidity of YoMama and wish they wouldn’t give him any attention. He adds nothing, not even an unintentional funny moment.The Gaining Ground is on with Belinda discussing Yo Momma and how shockingly, abnormally stupid he is.
Amber and her mile long titty crack entered the chat to dick ride Yo Momma and GG.
It did now go well for her and she got run the fuck off. Hopefully that will be her next vlog.
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2022
And even WORSE that she quit the second job (right after paid training was done, of course) because sitting on her ass all day hurt and was TOO HARD TO DO.
Bitch couldn't even be a Walmart Greeter.
Popi responded the the haydurs:
to her "Conclusion".How people this stupid manage to not get stuck under parked cars or accidently drop toasters into their bathtubs while bathing or something is beyond me.
------------
Plot Summary with commentary. If she's going back to mukbangs, I'm done. I can deal with a lot of gross things without a problem, but watching her orally fuck her food is a hard no from me. Let's go.
"Hello Hello, you guize, welcome to a new vlog. Is today already day 14? One more day and no more daily uploads!" Really? You promise?
Amber is going to change up the uploading schedule, and keep switching it up to different schedules every time she gets bored, because Amber has no concept of the idea that YouTube creators are supposed to get paid for ENTERTAINING OTHERS as opposed to themselves.
Amber complains about calorie counting being too overwhelming, so she's going to do a 10 day challenge... that she'll keep off her channel (so it won't actually happen).
Today is August 1st. Amber usually loves a new month and fresh start, but it's bittersweet because this will be one of the last months that Jade will still be there. Good, we'll soon be done with Amber pretending that Jade is still there. Actually, probably not, as she didn't say WHEN she was going to stop pretending. "One of the last MONTHS" could mean that Amber continues with this Polkaroo bullshit all the way until VLOGMAS. "Hey GUIZE.. FLEEN and I were playing Mario Kart right before I started filming, and you missed her AGAIN!"
Blah blah blah. Word vomit to pad out the video. Worst breakup ever because it's the most she's ever been hurt. More blah blah blah. Just tell us how much you cried so we can all move to the next bullshit topic.
"FLEE is the most passionate relationship I've ever been in". Yes, and you already inadvertantly gave away what that means - it was two years of fights and arguments and you throwing narc tantrums. I'm sure the nonsense from your drunken livestream was a regular occurance at Chez Hedor.
Amber feels bad for her audience, because she's going to CONTINUE subjecting them to her bad Twilight (New Moon) impression of Bella crying over Edward for MONTHS. "This is SO WEIRD, I know..." "Weird" isn't the word that comes to mind. Cringey, pathetic, repulsive, obnoxious... but not "weird".
Amber knows when "they're" moving (but doesn't tell us). "It's coming up".
JUMPCUT!! MORE FOOTAGE of Amber editing on her phone (over 2 1/2 minutes). Amber says that her audience thinks that all she does is throw a video into iMovie and call it a day. The truth is that Amber throws a video into iMovie, tries to cut out as much laboured breathing and background timeline clues as she can, and THEN calls it a day! This is how LIFESTYLE VLOGGERS DO IT! (I wonder when she's actually going to vlog her lifestyle)?
JUMPCUT!! Amber shows her MASSIVE sticker collection. If you want to buy them, message her on IG. If not, they're going in the trash- Uh, I mean, being donated!
JUMPCUT!! Amber talking about protein bars. SO GOOD! Amber reminisces about some sort of proteing/candy bar she ate during the Krystle era. She tries to eat a frozen protein bar and acts like a retard.
JUMPCUT!! Amber fatdances in the kitchen with jumpcuts (to hide her gasping for breath), while saying "this is how I edit". This is her *proof* that she doesn't throw random clips together. BTFO'd, you haydurs who think she fucks with the timeline!!
FREEZE FRAME!
(Do you see what I seeeeeee? She gives 'pear shaped a whole new meaning...)
This guy does it better:
View attachment dancing pear.webp
Amber's protein bar is too frozen to eat, so she's clutching it in her big meaty claws to thaw it as quickly as possible. She seems desperate - I'm waiting for her to throw it into the AIR FRYER or something.
More reminiscing about some protein bar she ate during the Krystle era. Amazing, Amber has 'memory holes' for every shitty thing she's done to people, yet remembers every fucking CANDY BAR she's ever eaten.
JUMPCUT!! More protein bar talk. It's finally thawed out enough to eat. Amber's disappointed because it thawed out too much.
JUMPCUT!! Back to the fridge for more food!! Are we going to eat *this* shitty processed food, or *that* shitty processed food?
The Drew Barrymore air fryer has OFFICIALLY become the new Amberverse side character.
Kitchen hurpling with terrible singing and mindless rambling while waiting for food [SKIP]
More packing, and she cried. WOW, it took a whole 11 minutes to tell us that she cried.
Drew Barrymore has barfed out the mystery processed lumps - dry and overcooked, just like Amber likes them! Holy crap, the sound they made when they hit the serving bowl (that Amber's using as her plate). These ... things have the same consistency to them 'cooked' as they did 'frozen'.
The sauce packet that Amber tried to defrost in warm water is a little chunky. Amber can't use it because she's "a texture girlie". But eating the overcooked GOLFBALLS she just made is totes fine.
The truth appears to be that she doesn't WANT to use the packet, because then she can use the official fatgirl condiments of RANCH, SRIRATCHA, MUSTARD, and SOY SAUCE - likely all at once.
[Warning from 10-minutes in the future Boolean: this IS pretty much a 5 minute mukbang, just with all of the pauses between bites/chewing edited out]
"Back to my mook-bong era... just kidding". I don't think you're kidding. Amber takes a couple of bites, and acts surprised as if she's never eaten them before and they are the best thing she's ever tasted. Then she eats them while trying all of the different sauces she brought.
Fatdances on her shelf while stuffing her face.
In the background, you can see "Jade's" pillow on the couch. Noticed how it's perfectly fluffed - yet the blanket is always messy? It's almost as if it isn't used....
Okay, full disclosure: I'm honestly not sure what's going on here, as I've already placed my text editor window over her video so I can finish this summary without having to watch anymore of this.
"Although breaded isn't good for you, it's better than like... I'd love McDonalds right now". Oop, we know that the REAL meal is going to be once she turns off the camera.
Amber gets food fixations where she likes something so much that she eats it every day. Yeah, like cakepops, orange chicken, yasso bars, pizza (that you don't ACTUALLY like).... Also, I'm sure the entire nonsense about the protein bar and sauce packets were also Amber's 'subtle' hints about her 'food fixations' - but in reality it just shows that her life is so empty and meaningless that her brain has latched onto the only thing she can do - EAT - in order to keep itself occupied.
Word vomit about the 15 days almost being over.
Huh, she suddenly went silent.... [Placard: Thanks for watching]. Oh, it's over. I guess The Binge Monster(TM) took over and Ambo cut the feed.
Amber is going to change up the uploading schedule, and keep switching it up to different schedules every time she gets bored, because Amber has no concept of the idea that YouTube creators are supposed to get paid for ENTERTAINING OTHERS as opposed to themselves.
Amber complains about calorie counting being too overwhelming, so she's going to do a 10 day challenge... that she'll keep off her channel (so it won't actually happen).
Today is August 1st. Amber usually loves a new month and fresh start, but it's bittersweet because this will be one of the last months that Jade will still be there. Good, we'll soon be done with Amber pretending that Jade is still there. Actually, probably not, as she didn't say WHEN she was going to stop pretending. "One of the last MONTHS" could mean that Amber continues with this Polkaroo bullshit all the way until VLOGMAS. "Hey GUIZE.. FLEEN and I were playing Mario Kart right before I started filming, and you missed her AGAIN!"
Blah blah blah. Word vomit to pad out the video. Worst breakup ever because it's the most she's ever been hurt. More blah blah blah. Just tell us how much you cried so we can all move to the next bullshit topic.
"FLEE is the most passionate relationship I've ever been in". Yes, and you already inadvertantly gave away what that means - it was two years of fights and arguments and you throwing narc tantrums. I'm sure the nonsense from your drunken livestream was a regular occurance at Chez Hedor.
Amber feels bad for her audience, because she's going to CONTINUE subjecting them to her bad Twilight (New Moon) impression of Bella crying over Edward for MONTHS. "This is SO WEIRD, I know..." "Weird" isn't the word that comes to mind. Cringey, pathetic, repulsive, obnoxious... but not "weird".
Amber knows when "they're" moving (but doesn't tell us). "It's coming up".
JUMPCUT!! MORE FOOTAGE of Amber editing on her phone (over 2 1/2 minutes). Amber says that her audience thinks that all she does is throw a video into iMovie and call it a day. The truth is that Amber throws a video into iMovie, tries to cut out as much laboured breathing and background timeline clues as she can, and THEN calls it a day! This is how LIFESTYLE VLOGGERS DO IT! (I wonder when she's actually going to vlog her lifestyle)?
JUMPCUT!! Amber shows her MASSIVE sticker collection. If you want to buy them, message her on IG. If not, they're going in the trash- Uh, I mean, being donated!
JUMPCUT!! Amber talking about protein bars. SO GOOD! Amber reminisces about some sort of proteing/candy bar she ate during the Krystle era. She tries to eat a frozen protein bar and acts like a retard.
JUMPCUT!! Amber fatdances in the kitchen with jumpcuts (to hide her gasping for breath), while saying "this is how I edit". This is her *proof* that she doesn't throw random clips together. BTFO'd, you haydurs who think she fucks with the timeline!!
FREEZE FRAME!
(Do you see what I seeeeeee? She gives 'pear shaped a whole new meaning...)
This guy does it better:
View attachment dancing pear.webp
Amber's protein bar is too frozen to eat, so she's clutching it in her big meaty claws to thaw it as quickly as possible. She seems desperate - I'm waiting for her to throw it into the AIR FRYER or something.
More reminiscing about some protein bar she ate during the Krystle era. Amazing, Amber has 'memory holes' for every shitty thing she's done to people, yet remembers every fucking CANDY BAR she's ever eaten.
JUMPCUT!! More protein bar talk. It's finally thawed out enough to eat. Amber's disappointed because it thawed out too much.
JUMPCUT!! Back to the fridge for more food!! Are we going to eat *this* shitty processed food, or *that* shitty processed food?
The Drew Barrymore air fryer has OFFICIALLY become the new Amberverse side character.
Kitchen hurpling with terrible singing and mindless rambling while waiting for food [SKIP]
More packing, and she cried. WOW, it took a whole 11 minutes to tell us that she cried.
Drew Barrymore has barfed out the mystery processed lumps - dry and overcooked, just like Amber likes them! Holy crap, the sound they made when they hit the serving bowl (that Amber's using as her plate). These ... things have the same consistency to them 'cooked' as they did 'frozen'.
The sauce packet that Amber tried to defrost in warm water is a little chunky. Amber can't use it because she's "a texture girlie". But eating the overcooked GOLFBALLS she just made is totes fine.
The truth appears to be that she doesn't WANT to use the packet, because then she can use the official fatgirl condiments of RANCH, SRIRATCHA, MUSTARD, and SOY SAUCE - likely all at once.
[Warning from 10-minutes in the future Boolean: this IS pretty much a 5 minute mukbang, just with all of the pauses between bites/chewing edited out]
"Back to my mook-bong era... just kidding". I don't think you're kidding. Amber takes a couple of bites, and acts surprised as if she's never eaten them before and they are the best thing she's ever tasted. Then she eats them while trying all of the different sauces she brought.
Fatdances on her shelf while stuffing her face.
In the background, you can see "Jade's" pillow on the couch. Noticed how it's perfectly fluffed - yet the blanket is always messy? It's almost as if it isn't used....
Okay, full disclosure: I'm honestly not sure what's going on here, as I've already placed my text editor window over her video so I can finish this summary without having to watch anymore of this.
"Although breaded isn't good for you, it's better than like... I'd love McDonalds right now". Oop, we know that the REAL meal is going to be once she turns off the camera.
Amber gets food fixations where she likes something so much that she eats it every day. Yeah, like cakepops, orange chicken, yasso bars, pizza (that you don't ACTUALLY like).... Also, I'm sure the entire nonsense about the protein bar and sauce packets were also Amber's 'subtle' hints about her 'food fixations' - but in reality it just shows that her life is so empty and meaningless that her brain has latched onto the only thing she can do - EAT - in order to keep itself occupied.
Word vomit about the 15 days almost being over.
Huh, she suddenly went silent.... [Placard: Thanks for watching]. Oh, it's over. I guess The Binge Monster(TM) took over and Ambo cut the feed.
TL;DR: BULLSHIT. August is one of the last MONTHS that Jade will be there - meaning that we have MANY more vlogs of Amber pretending that Jade hasn't already bailed. Amber pretending Jade is still there is giving "Polka Dot Door", where the host is always like "The Polkaroo was just here and I MISSED HIM AGAIN!!" Amber's going to create a new upload schedule once this challenge is over (and will keep changing the schedule every time she gets bored). "Breakup era", "Cryeen", "Most passionate relationship", etc. Amber shows the absurd sticker collection that she failed to sell during 2021. DM her on IG if you want to buy them (otherwise she's gonna dump them at GoodWill). Amber spends most of the video talking about food - first a protein bar, then some sort processed ... thing that Amber overcooks to the point of them resembling golfballs. Amber eats for the last third of the video, cutting out all pauses between bites to create this grand-autismo mukbang. One step closer to her turning her 'lifestyle channel' into a mukbang channel. The Drew Barrymore air fryer has OFFICIALLY become Amber's new side character, as it's already had more on screen time than Jade.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2018
FUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOU AAAAAALLLLL
0:00 - ‘Hello Hello you guise.’ Fucking get back to your depression shit. You’re doing that flippant valley girl bullshit and you ain’t even’ from the valley. It’s been 3 seconds and I already want to slap you hard enough to watch your head-fat oscillate around your skull. Sorry, moment required.
And back. Forgot to start with liquor. Tonight’s drink of choice is a delightful Riesling because why the fuck not.
Anyway, she croons about it being day 14 of vapid, pointless vlogging for bux because she needs das moolah, like this is a big accomplishment. She theater-gasps… which sounds like the lowing of a cow in the field as it cries out for its herd. Then ponders how it can already be day 14 when she’s been whining in all her last vlogs about how it’s a drag doing this shit day in and day out. Anyway, she’s excited that after tomorrow she no longer is going to do daily uploads.
I will take a moment to congratulate this twerp on completing something for the first time in her stupid life. That is, if she actually uploads tomorrow. We’ll see.
0:25 - Oh fuck us all. She has decided that because ‘this is working well for me’ is that she’s going to ‘constantly have a new schedule’ so that way she can try to baffle us with her bullshit, I suppose. She says she’ll announce her schedule in a timely fashion, then execute this ‘new schedule’ and then come up with another block of dumbassery. This way she won’t get bored with herself and her own vlogging shit, because she gets bored easily.
We know, AL. And you fill your boredom with absorbing the personalities of whomever you’re watching on YouTube/TikTok/IG/Whatever and shovel shit food into your face.
She needs to ‘switch it up type of molment’ and I wish she was in my vicinity so I could throw one of the many writing guides, dictionaries and/or thesauruses at my house at her giant fat head. Maybe she’d learn through osmosis if we hit her hard enough.
1:08 - Now that she’s done blathering about ‘work related’ shit (aka: she’s going to fuck her schedule after she’s done with this stupid 15 day nonsense), she’s shifting to ‘weightloss related’ blathering. So… same ol’, same ol’.
She wants to set a goal where she wants to count calories on Lose It! for a certain amount of time regardless if she goes over or it’s a time she ‘wouldn’t normally count her calories’
And my head just fucking exploded.
Because she just explained how she fails at calorie counting every other time she’s ever tried calorie counting with any other calorie counting app that’s on the market. Because, despite the CLEAR INSTRUCTIONS with EVERY calorie counting app out there stating that you should COUNT EVERYTHING… she doesn’t. Or she just stops when she hits her ‘goal’ and doesn’t log any overage. And then whines about how she’s doing the thing and not losing weight.
Christ on a pogo stick, you blithering idiot.
So… she’s setting herself up for failure here, too. Because she’s not going to use this new app consistently. She’s going to use it for a period of time just like MFP and then ditch it with a bag of pork rinds and a box of Ho-Hos and call it good.
‘I want to focus on the act of calorie counting because it’s so overwhelming to me’ pours from her fat face. This from the sight-calculator. Pffffff. Shit. Lemme go refill my wine glass.
And back.
So she wants to give herself a challenge where she HAS to do this for a certain amount of days. Our weightloss queen, y’all!! She decides she’s going to count calories for 10 days, but that won’t be a ‘vlogging journey’ and just something she’ll fake doing out of the eyes of YouTube and then come back and proclaim that it doesn’t work for her.
1:58 - ‘So today is August 1st!’ Uploaded late on August 2nd. Yup. AL proclaims that she loves a new month - guess so, when you’re in poor enough health that every month alive is an achievement. She proclaims that it’s bittersweet now because it’s one of the last months that F/JFoNY:MGF,W will be living with her and ‘my soul hates that, my aura hates that,’ and yeah, given the dark lighting in your place, we know she ain’t there anyway. You can stop pretending that she didn’t just ditch ya and head off to greener pastures.
Maybe it’s the last month with a lease at The Henry. I personally think that’s more plausible.
Anyway, she blathers on for a while about how she’s hating this breakup and it’s the worst one ever and hurt her terribly. Fuck you, Becky lol. She whines that she loves people, she loves people hard, and all her breakups have hurt. Except I clearly remember the livestreams where she admitted that she never loved Becky and she could die in a ditch lmao
But Felon was different! Waaaaaaaaahhhhhh!
AL knows when she’s moving, though. She says it’s coming up soon. Yup, lease is running out.
3:58 - In a desperate vie for content, this bitch is showing her editing process on her phone. Because fuck using the MacBook she purchased for editing to actually edit on - that machine’s only for watching videos, you plebs. Anyway, she shows her stupid grocery haul where she waggled that FUCKING MILD Pace Picante Sauce at us and dared to call it salsa. Gah. And she’s scrolling through the video clips and shows where she’s taking stuff out. She’s trying to say she actually puts effort into her shit. Except we all know she doesn’t. She even throws up a caption that says ‘I do this with every single clip I film, even just me talking. So much editing. (Stupid sweat drop emoji crap)’ Which… yeah. She says she loves editing. Probably because she gets to stare at herself and eyefuck herself more.
Fucking hell, this is the most boring content she’s posted in this vlog yet, and I’m just drinking. She even says ‘here’s a boring scene of editing!’ And yes, I’m inclined to agree. This is boring as fuck.
She proclaims it’s therapeutic. I proclaim it’s a desperate attempt to pad out her shitty video, because we just wasted over 2 minutes on this crap.
6:15 - Shows 3 gallon bags stuffed with shitty stickers that she’s poking with her porky sausage fingers. She has no idea what to do with them. So of course she’s just going to dump them on Goodwill. But she proclaims that if anyone’s interested in buying them, hit her up in her Instagram DMs - she was thinking of selling them, but that takes fucking effort. You do the approach to purchase, you morons. She’s not going to bother with the whole storefront and setting prices shit. BUY HER SHITTY STICKERS.
6:40 - Waggling her box of Think! protein bars around, she tells us she tried a couple ‘last night’ and I’m pondering if she means ‘last night August 1st’ or ‘last night July 31st’ or ‘last night May 19th’ because we know this dumb fuck can’t keep anything straight. So, what did she think of them…?
Let’s see. They’re processed shit in a box.
SHOO GUUUUD.
Like everything else.
Fuck, I need a glitter text for that.
She says the texture reminded her of… a summer beach bar…. And I am confused. Did she eat a bar? What wood was it made of? Was it covered in sand and sea salt? Were there coasters involved? Oh, sorry, wine and distraction. She goes on to say it’s a summer beach bar she’d eat in Virginia in her ‘first era’ and she doesn’t remember if she filmed it. But she remembers putting those bars into the freezer, so she decided to be ADVENTUROUS AND BRAVE and put one of her protein bars into the freezer so she can try it now.
Because, you know, that’s SO ORIGINAL and is going to impact the flavor SO MUCH. Except not. Fuck, this dingleberry is an idiot.
‘Dentist. Dentist call 911. 911, call the dentist.’ Because yeah, she had difficulty biting into a frozen protein bar. She bitches about it not being the same texture at all. I am amazed that she doesn’t make any proclamations about its goodness. She’s upset she couldn’t take a large bite, m’thinks.
7:45 - Jumps to her waggling her fat around in the kitchen in front of the air fryer, proudly wiggling her hands and proclaiming that… this is an example of the way she edits. So yeah, it’s filled with jump cuts of her dancing and bobbing and doing dumb shit. It would be entertaining if this was a 4 year old playing with its parents’ camera and giggling and dancing. This is not entertaining. This is a headache. This is wine vanishing from my glass.
Refill complete.
She bops around saying that ‘people thought’ that she just splices together a bunch of random clips, but ‘now as you can see that is not true.’ No, AL, we know you splice together a bunch of random clips. The fact that you decimate a long clip into little jump cut sequencing doesn’t make you original and corky and doesn’t discount that you DO in fact splice together a bunch of random clips.
Then she says she thinks she’s losing her mind. No, losing your mind would involve having functioning braincells, ie: a mind to lose. You have FAT in your noggin that provides a buffer between those braincells and wouldn’t notice if one of the two was lost to the ether.
Mindless troglodyte here attempts to gnaw on her frozen treat again and bitches about how it’s going to take too long to thaw. Jumps to sitting in her poorly lit room again holding the protein bar in her hand, trying to thaw it, bitching about how it’s nothing like the summer beach bar she remembers from her 400s days. She’s so fucking upset about the fact that she can’t gnaw it into oblivion.
8:35 - It’s finally thawed to the point that she can munch on it. She says it was a waste to freeze it and now it tastes like refrigerator. I am sniggering into my wine glass.
9:00 - Getting hard to type as this is glass number 3, but who cares? She’s now going to dig through her freezer. She’s feeling HONGRY and goes for the cauliflower bites (the southwestern ones she just bought) or the sweet chili cauliflower wings. She is enthralled that the fake wings have air fryer instructions on them, and decides that is what she’s going to do. She’s excited, of course, because food is on the way.
10:04 - $130 air fryer is soooo worth it (yes, she looked the price up so she could humblebrag about how much she spent on it). And then films herself dumping the whole packet in the air fryer and staring at the sauce packet.
Then she jumpcuts to her singing bullshit off-tune and displaying how corky she is by not singing the actual lyrics. She’s pouring hot water to soak the sauce packet for her fake wings in to thaw it out.
11:25 - Talking about how she did more packing today. Says MOAR MEMORIES were brought up and she doesn’t want to talk about them, but ohhhh, the heartache and waaaaah wibblewibble. She’s going to be getting rid of a lot of stuff, she says. Goodwill, prepare thineselves!
11:55 - Plates her shitty fake wings. Which are nothing but breaded cauliflower chunks with sauce. She says ‘these are lightly breaded, which I didn’t notice on the packaging.’ Say whaaaaaat? Did this vapid dingdong just think that cauliflower mystically turns brown and mimics chicken wings? Did she think they were coated in the tears of her haydurs and the skin of the unborn? I have so many fucking questions!
Anyway, she’s whining about how she’s a ‘texture gorly’ and she doesn’t like the way the sauce looks. Because she says it looks ‘not like a normal sauce’ and it looks ‘like applesauce’ and that’s because it’s not completely defrosted and still has ice particles in it that I can see in my tiny viewer window because I don’t watch this shit full-screen due to there being no reason to do so. But no, instead of completely defrosting it in the fucking MICROWAVE DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF HER FACE she just CaN’t Do It and tosses the sauce packet to the side.
It’s motherfuckin’ sweet chili sauce. It’s supposed to have little bits of chili pepper in it (which I can clearly see) and be a thick(ish) sauce (which it is). So… AL is just going to have breaded cauliflower because she doesn’t understand the sauce.
OH WAIT, NO, SHE’S JUST GOING TO DROWN ‘EM IN RANCH. And sriracha. And mustard. And soy sauce.
This dumb bitch.
12:56 - She holds that bowl of sad heated cauliflower in front of her and says ‘back to my mookbong era. Just kidding.’
YOU CLICKBAITING WHORE. Holy shit, someone who actually follows this bint on YouTube, report her shit please. Gaaaaaaah.
Sorry. Glass empty. Final fill up. I hope. If shit’s getting weird it’s because autocorrect is trying to save my typing from me.
So yeah she sniffs it and has one plain and has a weird look on her face because it’s SHO GUUUUUD. Says that if you’re a vegetarian or vegan run to the store and get this shit to replace your chicken and oh it hurts.
She practically foodgasms with ranch on it, proclaims it’s bomb, then does sriracha and does a sad dance and sings like 4 words from a song.
Mustard is good, apparently. She doesn’t watch mustardTok anymore though.
Has more ranch. Then tries some soy sauce and dumps it because she’s coordinated like me when I’m drunk. Says it’s not horrible, but goes for everything else.
IT’S SHOOOO GUUUUUUD. Redux. Times two.
Can’t decide if she likes mustard or ranch better, but then goes for sriracha and says she’s in heaven and I don’t care and neither should you.
She says even though the breading isn’t good for you, it’s not as bad as McDonalds - which she really wants, but can’t have right now. Then she whines about how Felon says she’s a picky eater and shit.
AL blathers on about how she gets fixated on foods and then just has it every single day. So expect even more breaded cauliflower taste tests in all of her upcoming videos.
All the open-mouth smacking and tongue licking and talking with her mouth full. It’s like sitting in a room of toddlers shoving shit in their mouth holes.
She’s now talking about how the 15 days has gone by so fast and she’s happy. Plunks up the white ‘Thanks for watching’ lip emoji thing except it’s not in any sort of font and she says nothing so I don’t feel dirty from her gross kissy nonsense.
0:00 - ‘Hello Hello you guise.’ Fucking get back to your depression shit. You’re doing that flippant valley girl bullshit and you ain’t even’ from the valley. It’s been 3 seconds and I already want to slap you hard enough to watch your head-fat oscillate around your skull. Sorry, moment required.
And back. Forgot to start with liquor. Tonight’s drink of choice is a delightful Riesling because why the fuck not.
Anyway, she croons about it being day 14 of vapid, pointless vlogging for bux because she needs das moolah, like this is a big accomplishment. She theater-gasps… which sounds like the lowing of a cow in the field as it cries out for its herd. Then ponders how it can already be day 14 when she’s been whining in all her last vlogs about how it’s a drag doing this shit day in and day out. Anyway, she’s excited that after tomorrow she no longer is going to do daily uploads.
I will take a moment to congratulate this twerp on completing something for the first time in her stupid life. That is, if she actually uploads tomorrow. We’ll see.
0:25 - Oh fuck us all. She has decided that because ‘this is working well for me’ is that she’s going to ‘constantly have a new schedule’ so that way she can try to baffle us with her bullshit, I suppose. She says she’ll announce her schedule in a timely fashion, then execute this ‘new schedule’ and then come up with another block of dumbassery. This way she won’t get bored with herself and her own vlogging shit, because she gets bored easily.
We know, AL. And you fill your boredom with absorbing the personalities of whomever you’re watching on YouTube/TikTok/IG/Whatever and shovel shit food into your face.
She needs to ‘switch it up type of molment’ and I wish she was in my vicinity so I could throw one of the many writing guides, dictionaries and/or thesauruses at my house at her giant fat head. Maybe she’d learn through osmosis if we hit her hard enough.
1:08 - Now that she’s done blathering about ‘work related’ shit (aka: she’s going to fuck her schedule after she’s done with this stupid 15 day nonsense), she’s shifting to ‘weightloss related’ blathering. So… same ol’, same ol’.
She wants to set a goal where she wants to count calories on Lose It! for a certain amount of time regardless if she goes over or it’s a time she ‘wouldn’t normally count her calories’
And my head just fucking exploded.
Because she just explained how she fails at calorie counting every other time she’s ever tried calorie counting with any other calorie counting app that’s on the market. Because, despite the CLEAR INSTRUCTIONS with EVERY calorie counting app out there stating that you should COUNT EVERYTHING… she doesn’t. Or she just stops when she hits her ‘goal’ and doesn’t log any overage. And then whines about how she’s doing the thing and not losing weight.
Christ on a pogo stick, you blithering idiot.
So… she’s setting herself up for failure here, too. Because she’s not going to use this new app consistently. She’s going to use it for a period of time just like MFP and then ditch it with a bag of pork rinds and a box of Ho-Hos and call it good.
‘I want to focus on the act of calorie counting because it’s so overwhelming to me’ pours from her fat face. This from the sight-calculator. Pffffff. Shit. Lemme go refill my wine glass.
And back.
So she wants to give herself a challenge where she HAS to do this for a certain amount of days. Our weightloss queen, y’all!! She decides she’s going to count calories for 10 days, but that won’t be a ‘vlogging journey’ and just something she’ll fake doing out of the eyes of YouTube and then come back and proclaim that it doesn’t work for her.
1:58 - ‘So today is August 1st!’ Uploaded late on August 2nd. Yup. AL proclaims that she loves a new month - guess so, when you’re in poor enough health that every month alive is an achievement. She proclaims that it’s bittersweet now because it’s one of the last months that F/JFoNY:MGF,W will be living with her and ‘my soul hates that, my aura hates that,’ and yeah, given the dark lighting in your place, we know she ain’t there anyway. You can stop pretending that she didn’t just ditch ya and head off to greener pastures.
Maybe it’s the last month with a lease at The Henry. I personally think that’s more plausible.
Anyway, she blathers on for a while about how she’s hating this breakup and it’s the worst one ever and hurt her terribly. Fuck you, Becky lol. She whines that she loves people, she loves people hard, and all her breakups have hurt. Except I clearly remember the livestreams where she admitted that she never loved Becky and she could die in a ditch lmao
But Felon was different! Waaaaaaaaahhhhhh!
AL knows when she’s moving, though. She says it’s coming up soon. Yup, lease is running out.
3:58 - In a desperate vie for content, this bitch is showing her editing process on her phone. Because fuck using the MacBook she purchased for editing to actually edit on - that machine’s only for watching videos, you plebs. Anyway, she shows her stupid grocery haul where she waggled that FUCKING MILD Pace Picante Sauce at us and dared to call it salsa. Gah. And she’s scrolling through the video clips and shows where she’s taking stuff out. She’s trying to say she actually puts effort into her shit. Except we all know she doesn’t. She even throws up a caption that says ‘I do this with every single clip I film, even just me talking. So much editing. (Stupid sweat drop emoji crap)’ Which… yeah. She says she loves editing. Probably because she gets to stare at herself and eyefuck herself more.
Fucking hell, this is the most boring content she’s posted in this vlog yet, and I’m just drinking. She even says ‘here’s a boring scene of editing!’ And yes, I’m inclined to agree. This is boring as fuck.
She proclaims it’s therapeutic. I proclaim it’s a desperate attempt to pad out her shitty video, because we just wasted over 2 minutes on this crap.
6:15 - Shows 3 gallon bags stuffed with shitty stickers that she’s poking with her porky sausage fingers. She has no idea what to do with them. So of course she’s just going to dump them on Goodwill. But she proclaims that if anyone’s interested in buying them, hit her up in her Instagram DMs - she was thinking of selling them, but that takes fucking effort. You do the approach to purchase, you morons. She’s not going to bother with the whole storefront and setting prices shit. BUY HER SHITTY STICKERS.
6:40 - Waggling her box of Think! protein bars around, she tells us she tried a couple ‘last night’ and I’m pondering if she means ‘last night August 1st’ or ‘last night July 31st’ or ‘last night May 19th’ because we know this dumb fuck can’t keep anything straight. So, what did she think of them…?
Let’s see. They’re processed shit in a box.
SHOO GUUUUD.
Like everything else.
Fuck, I need a glitter text for that.
She says the texture reminded her of… a summer beach bar…. And I am confused. Did she eat a bar? What wood was it made of? Was it covered in sand and sea salt? Were there coasters involved? Oh, sorry, wine and distraction. She goes on to say it’s a summer beach bar she’d eat in Virginia in her ‘first era’ and she doesn’t remember if she filmed it. But she remembers putting those bars into the freezer, so she decided to be ADVENTUROUS AND BRAVE and put one of her protein bars into the freezer so she can try it now.
Because, you know, that’s SO ORIGINAL and is going to impact the flavor SO MUCH. Except not. Fuck, this dingleberry is an idiot.
‘Dentist. Dentist call 911. 911, call the dentist.’ Because yeah, she had difficulty biting into a frozen protein bar. She bitches about it not being the same texture at all. I am amazed that she doesn’t make any proclamations about its goodness. She’s upset she couldn’t take a large bite, m’thinks.
7:45 - Jumps to her waggling her fat around in the kitchen in front of the air fryer, proudly wiggling her hands and proclaiming that… this is an example of the way she edits. So yeah, it’s filled with jump cuts of her dancing and bobbing and doing dumb shit. It would be entertaining if this was a 4 year old playing with its parents’ camera and giggling and dancing. This is not entertaining. This is a headache. This is wine vanishing from my glass.
Refill complete.
She bops around saying that ‘people thought’ that she just splices together a bunch of random clips, but ‘now as you can see that is not true.’ No, AL, we know you splice together a bunch of random clips. The fact that you decimate a long clip into little jump cut sequencing doesn’t make you original and corky and doesn’t discount that you DO in fact splice together a bunch of random clips.
Then she says she thinks she’s losing her mind. No, losing your mind would involve having functioning braincells, ie: a mind to lose. You have FAT in your noggin that provides a buffer between those braincells and wouldn’t notice if one of the two was lost to the ether.
Mindless troglodyte here attempts to gnaw on her frozen treat again and bitches about how it’s going to take too long to thaw. Jumps to sitting in her poorly lit room again holding the protein bar in her hand, trying to thaw it, bitching about how it’s nothing like the summer beach bar she remembers from her 400s days. She’s so fucking upset about the fact that she can’t gnaw it into oblivion.
8:35 - It’s finally thawed to the point that she can munch on it. She says it was a waste to freeze it and now it tastes like refrigerator. I am sniggering into my wine glass.
9:00 - Getting hard to type as this is glass number 3, but who cares? She’s now going to dig through her freezer. She’s feeling HONGRY and goes for the cauliflower bites (the southwestern ones she just bought) or the sweet chili cauliflower wings. She is enthralled that the fake wings have air fryer instructions on them, and decides that is what she’s going to do. She’s excited, of course, because food is on the way.
10:04 - $130 air fryer is soooo worth it (yes, she looked the price up so she could humblebrag about how much she spent on it). And then films herself dumping the whole packet in the air fryer and staring at the sauce packet.
Then she jumpcuts to her singing bullshit off-tune and displaying how corky she is by not singing the actual lyrics. She’s pouring hot water to soak the sauce packet for her fake wings in to thaw it out.
11:25 - Talking about how she did more packing today. Says MOAR MEMORIES were brought up and she doesn’t want to talk about them, but ohhhh, the heartache and waaaaah wibblewibble. She’s going to be getting rid of a lot of stuff, she says. Goodwill, prepare thineselves!
11:55 - Plates her shitty fake wings. Which are nothing but breaded cauliflower chunks with sauce. She says ‘these are lightly breaded, which I didn’t notice on the packaging.’ Say whaaaaaat? Did this vapid dingdong just think that cauliflower mystically turns brown and mimics chicken wings? Did she think they were coated in the tears of her haydurs and the skin of the unborn? I have so many fucking questions!
Anyway, she’s whining about how she’s a ‘texture gorly’ and she doesn’t like the way the sauce looks. Because she says it looks ‘not like a normal sauce’ and it looks ‘like applesauce’ and that’s because it’s not completely defrosted and still has ice particles in it that I can see in my tiny viewer window because I don’t watch this shit full-screen due to there being no reason to do so. But no, instead of completely defrosting it in the fucking MICROWAVE DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF HER FACE she just CaN’t Do It and tosses the sauce packet to the side.
It’s motherfuckin’ sweet chili sauce. It’s supposed to have little bits of chili pepper in it (which I can clearly see) and be a thick(ish) sauce (which it is). So… AL is just going to have breaded cauliflower because she doesn’t understand the sauce.
OH WAIT, NO, SHE’S JUST GOING TO DROWN ‘EM IN RANCH. And sriracha. And mustard. And soy sauce.
This dumb bitch.
12:56 - She holds that bowl of sad heated cauliflower in front of her and says ‘back to my mookbong era. Just kidding.’
YOU CLICKBAITING WHORE. Holy shit, someone who actually follows this bint on YouTube, report her shit please. Gaaaaaaah.
Sorry. Glass empty. Final fill up. I hope. If shit’s getting weird it’s because autocorrect is trying to save my typing from me.
So yeah she sniffs it and has one plain and has a weird look on her face because it’s SHO GUUUUUD. Says that if you’re a vegetarian or vegan run to the store and get this shit to replace your chicken and oh it hurts.
She practically foodgasms with ranch on it, proclaims it’s bomb, then does sriracha and does a sad dance and sings like 4 words from a song.
Mustard is good, apparently. She doesn’t watch mustardTok anymore though.
Has more ranch. Then tries some soy sauce and dumps it because she’s coordinated like me when I’m drunk. Says it’s not horrible, but goes for everything else.
IT’S SHOOOO GUUUUUUD. Redux. Times two.
Can’t decide if she likes mustard or ranch better, but then goes for sriracha and says she’s in heaven and I don’t care and neither should you.
She says even though the breading isn’t good for you, it’s not as bad as McDonalds - which she really wants, but can’t have right now. Then she whines about how Felon says she’s a picky eater and shit.
AL blathers on about how she gets fixated on foods and then just has it every single day. So expect even more breaded cauliflower taste tests in all of her upcoming videos.
All the open-mouth smacking and tongue licking and talking with her mouth full. It’s like sitting in a room of toddlers shoving shit in their mouth holes.
She’s now talking about how the 15 days has gone by so fast and she’s happy. Plunks up the white ‘Thanks for watching’ lip emoji thing except it’s not in any sort of font and she says nothing so I don’t feel dirty from her gross kissy nonsense.
TL;DW/R: I don't think I'm sober enough anymore to give a good summary of this crap. AL is astonished that she's almost done with 15 days of vlogging. She's gonna fuck up her schedule to keep things interesting for her. She plans to fail at calorie counting on her new app. Bores us with editing cuntent. Has memories while packing that she won't share. Dances around like a fucking retarded bimbo. Eats cauliflower with different sauces and fat-dances like a happy baby. No pets. No kissy outro because she forgot or something and I don't care. Lost track of how many glasses of wine. Bottle is empty.
Everything is:
ETA: and ninja'd but I ain't deletin' nope lol
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2020
At 14:50 in the new video, you can see a house fly almost the size of Amber makes a cameo at the bottom left. No surprise there, seeing as there is still glitter on her face from 4-5+ days ago and her hair is basically just as unwashed as it was in yesterday's video. Pig sty era, love that for her.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2019
Bitch is in the unwashed lard ass era.
Her shelf ass is going to rot off if she doesn't douse herslef in industrial strength soap and a pressure washer soon.
Her shelf ass is going to rot off if she doesn't douse herslef in industrial strength soap and a pressure washer soon.
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2014
What is Jew Tubes stance on these land masses like Chins and Amber doing these eating shows?
She is so greasy she is gonna need industrial strength degreaser from Home Depot.
She is so greasy she is gonna need industrial strength degreaser from Home Depot.
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2021
Last edited:
Cornfed
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2023
What the fuck is with calling everything a flop? What brain dead teeny bop retard on tick tok did she pick that crap up from?
An adult could never carry a conversation with this thing.
An adult could never carry a conversation with this thing.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2022
You're right, Popi. You should send her some Povitica from Strawberry Hill to make her feel better.
Even more 8008135
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2022
Wash your goddamn hair and body, you disgusting fat fuck.
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2021
Well considering how Eugenia Cooney is actually getting mainstream attention, I think they will alter their stance. Jewtube caves in to media attention because advertisers can leave in droves and people have said Eugenia has been a problem for years but because at that point nothing was written, nothing was done. Jewtube is the most un pro active company I have seen considering it's an arm of Google, for over a decade they bury their heads in the sand and when controversy hits, then they scramble.
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2020
I know I'm late, but the comment pinned and authored by "Popi" stating that Amber is "just an average American woman..."
No words.
No words.
KSavario
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2022
I think I've seen a comment like this before, but everyone I know who has an airfryer used it once after purchase and then locked it in a closet somewhere. Is this an obese women thing thinking it's healthier and trying to lie to themselves because I notice Chantel uses one regularly as well.
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2019
I have an air fryer that I use fairly often, but mostly for frozen french fries since I seem to go through a lot of them. They're good for frozen chicken nuggets too*. Cuts the baking time in half and doesn't heat up the whole kitchen like the oven does.
*brb gotta take an online quiz to see if I have the autism
Turd Fergusson
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 28, 2019
It is pretty clear that Jade has left the coop a long time ago. Even if she did not, the inevitable departure would happen sooner than later. What Amber to do? She likely did not find a new girlfriend in her DM, so her only other choice is Plenty Of Fish or other on-line dating websites. What would be her profile?
"32 year old lesbian woman, pretty, intelligent, 5'2", 500ish pounds, loves shopping, poetry, writing, and has many hobbies, but does not drive, would like to meet a lesbian woman, 20 to 40 years old with no children, for long term relationship."
"32 year old lesbian woman, pretty, intelligent, 5'2", 500ish pounds, loves shopping, poetry, writing, and has many hobbies, but does not drive, would like to meet a lesbian woman, 20 to 40 years old with no children, for long term relationship."
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2022
It's a laziness thing. Why preheat the oven, spray or line a baking dish or cookie sheet, wait ~30 minutes... when you can dump it in an air fryer for whatever amount of time Her Fatness wants.
Same reason I think Jade dropped off a rotisserie chicken for her. "Here's something that is zero effort to eat without getting take-out"
She doesn't want to cook. She wants to EAT. If there's prep and clean-up that takes away valuable eating time. How often do you think that air fryer gets cleaned btw?