Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

Are you looking forward to seeing Jade's face on camera?

  • Yes

    Votes: 550 15.6%
  • No

    Votes: 349 9.9%
  • I don't care

    Votes: 2,620 74.5%

  • Total voters
    3,519
View attachment 6384300
I can’t tell if this person is joking or not. Ambers “Chris Farley-choking on air-body throw around” laugh is her signature.

Ambers face is her pride and joy, so it must kill her that that tooth hole shows everytime she talks. Some people can’t afford a dental implant but she can but “muh anxiety” gets in the way.
Obviously Katie Noelani has never heard Amber tell her "What's worse than finding a worm in your apple" joke. In fact, one of the reaction channels has Amber's wheezing laugh as the last clip of their intro. I'm not going to go look for it, as all one has to do to see this absurd laugh is watch ANY of her livestreams right after Jade moved in.

Emily can't even bring herself to say it back , embarrassing
OOOH! That's almost as cringy as that Cobra JFS video a while back where he and NAL were chillaxin' in the graveyard. Jessica kept saying to him "I love you", and each time it was just awkward silence from Cobes, LOL.

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This is a bit 🕚, but nothing else is really going on right now, so might as well post about it. There was an interesting point that Amber made in her livestream from two weeks ago that I missed on recapping because Bottle's condensed video didn't include it. I didn't hear it until just recently when I got bored and decided to watch the LordyJordy vid that was linked a few pages back.

Amber was talking about how calm everything is with "Tommy" (Emily). She said that NONE of her previous relationships (you know, with all of those horrible, abusive partners) were as calm and gentle with this one with Tommy. Then she admitted that it was because SHE (Amber) is the one who won't let it be calm and starts fights (blaming it on her 'mental illness', which is somehow completely separate from her). She said that she was even trying to cause problems, but Emily has been successfully countering Amber's attempts.

Two points. One, of course it gets chaotic and they normally fight by the two month mark of meeting her, because she's already moved in and it's too late too get rid of her by then. And Two, what a mask-off moment for her to admit that no matter how well you try to treat her as a partner and accomodate her "mental illness" (aka: terrible personality), she will go out of her way to be an ABSOLUTE SHITHEAD to you - and believes that it's YOUR responsiblity to manage her feelings and fix all the problems that she WILLINGLY creates. And it was just completely missed by her audience. I mean Jordy caught it, but Bottle missed it (or else it would have been in her video). Karina Kaboom missed it in her recaps. And I haven't heard of other YouTube reactors pointing it out.

She truly is a perfect specimen for studying cluster B disordered behaviours (as well as the behaviour of those in their orbit).

Edited to Add:
@Bipolar Tomato I think the tooth thing is due to two factors: One, why spend money on responsible, grown-up things like that when there's junk food, toys, and people's love/affection/servitude that needs to be bought? And Two, the discomfort of sitting in the chair for long enough to have an implant installed (as well as the after care).
 
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View attachment 6384300
I can’t tell if this person is joking or not. Ambers “Chris Farley-choking on air-body throw around” laugh is her signature.

Ambers face is her pride and joy, so it must kill her that that tooth hole shows everytime she talks. Some people can’t afford a dental implant but she can but “muh anxiety” gets in the way.

is that another tooth she lost? or the same one from a few years ago? someone said she explained it on livestream but I don't have the time to watch all of them. she probably can't lay back in the dentist chair for long, and I think they knock you out a bit for implants since they drill into bone. she has sleep apnea so it would be too risky for her.
 
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Doing her usual schtick acting all nonchalant about a hickey she wants everyone to see.
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Tommy smokes.
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Putting the pig in pigtails.
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Oh Twinkie, baby gorl, I wish I could pull an FFG on you.
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I have a bad feeling about this...


meet my girlfriend!!!!

Plot Summary with Commentary! When we last left our Witless Wonder, Amber was in the middle of a virtual slap-fight with a Temu therapist and a 'roided up jail guard whose rock-hard muscles were only outmatched by the rocks in her head. What's happening today? Apparently we get to meet Darth Feeder! Are you excited? Neither am I! LET'S GO!

"Hey Guize". Proper intro. "If I look like a mess, it's because I am a mess". Wow. Two for two.

Tommy has officially left. Reusing old lame clips to pad out the video. [sarcasm] Oh NO! That means that we missed her AGAIN! Oh darn, what a shame. Oh well, better luck next-- Oh goddamnit, she's not letting this go. We're gonna have hear about Saint Thomas, aren't we? *sigh*

Amber can't stop laughing and sincerely feels loved and cared for by Slommi's insincerity. Tommy got along great with the Meth head (mammalynn), the cancer faking cheater (grammalynn), and the old geezer that's banging Ambo's mom. Kristine instantly LOVED Slommi (because she knows she's close to getting rid of her 600lb anchor).

Amber WAS going to vlog, but when she's with Slommi, she just can't think of anything else and it's like they are the only two people on earth (wasn't that how Becky described how controlling and smothering Ambo was? Wow, such a healthy relationship).

[sarcasm] Oh NO! Does that mean that we won't see her?! Oh gosh DARN it! I was so looking forward to it. Well, I guess this concludes --

Amber "- But don't worry! We did get a few clips--"

NOOOO!! I was being sarcastic! FUCK!!... Damnit!... Fine, let's get this done.

Ambers "throwing them up" - a very good way of describing this.

First set of clips involve Amber at Dave & Busters hammering at that stupid piano game that looks like a toddler toy, followed by straw wrappers being shot at Grimace dressed in a wig and wearing a stretched out hamburgler costume - OH SHIT, that's Amber. Ducklips and eyefucking galore.

Second set of clips involve Amber and Slommi in the car with the devil horns - this was obviously taken at the same time as that TikTok.
Ambo1 - If you are afraid we can look together.png

[Insert "Local 58" snark here... IF YOU ARE AFRAID WE CAN LOOK TOGETHER]

Another series of random, disjointed clips of Amber looking like an idiot (taken in the style of random 2 second clips that a boomer would accidentally film on the first day of figuring out how their new cellphone works).

Ambo2 - WTF am I doing with my life.png

[Okay, this is the picture where I suddenly lost my shit and laughed hysterically for a few moments due to the absolute absurdity of this. WTF happened to her FACE? Bitch can't even fit in the JEEP anymore! Okay... I think I'm okay now...

J laughter.jpg

... no I'm not

Okay, okay, be professional, Boolean! Okay, I'm back]

Next clip is Amber eating a big pack of "slommy" in the car to please her feeder Slommi. And now she introduces us to Saint Thomas of Slommus. I had to see it, so you have to see it:
Ambo3 - St Thomas of Slommus.png


Next clips, more eating... And more eating. TWINKIE!!! 1 of 3 pets accounted for.

Next clips, more TikTok-esque cringe.

Lots of pussy-petting action!! -- A nude, disheveled Slommi (you just see bare arms and shoulder) petting an equally disheveled WASABI!!! 2 of 3 pets accounted for! And playing with RARITY!!! 3 of 3 pets accounted for!! BINGO!!

Clip from GrammaLynn's flophouse.
Ambo 4 - they watch you.png

[Holy shit I swear they are sentient and LOOKING THROUGH THE CAMERA LENS AT US. Don't play dumb; you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about.]

Clips from glow in the dark Bingo.... and MOAR shit-food.

More drinking and food... now with added gambling... and feeding. Oh my god SHE IS BITING THAT FEMALE!! [SKIP!]

Oh it's finally over. She hopes we enjoyed the clips (I did NOT). She fears that this will be demonetized due to music. Byee!!!

TL;DR: I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate. And NONE of that compares to the horrors I've just witnessed over the last 8 minutes and 42 seconds. I no longer fear death. For death will wash away all of these molmunts to be forever lost in time, like tears in the rain.

Yeah, it sucked. Lots of Amber acting like a 12 year old with her first middle-school BF. Watch at your own discretion. Oh, and the bitch hasn't eaten her pets yet, so... that's good.

[Edit - fixed formatting and tweaked a couple other things]
 
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First set of clips involve Amber at Dave & Busters hammering at that stupid piano game that looks like a toddler toy
Big AL has really showed herself playing this game 3 times since moving to OKC, hasn't she? It's really pathetic that all Amber can offer Emily N. Franz is the same exact romantic excursions she'd have her mom take her on: bingo! casino! Dave & Buster's! Olive Garden! That same bar she already took mirror selfies at! She could have at least made Emily drive her to some nearby park since she (Emily) seems like a person who likes going outside more than once a month, but nah, why would they do that when there's precious food to be ate? Even that park Methmom took Amber to (when Shitney made Amber cry, remember?) would have been a great place to make the same memories over again!

Thanks Boolean for your amazing recaps & fuck you Amber for being boring and reusing clips to pad your already lame ass videos.

Side by middle by side - when did she become such a.. sidie? lame ass joke, cuke, get your shit together
11/21/2023 - 2/5/2024 - 9/5/2024
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I don't understand going on multiple dates to the casino/bingo? once.. maybe.. as a little meme date. But not as a serious date with a LDR partner. Wouldn't you want to spend as much time in bed with your partner that you never see and long for if it was TRULY passionate??? Why not get a boujee hotel and make a date night, or a romantic aquarium day? WhY THE FuCk would u want to spend your time in a smoky gross loud casino?? Oh right, cause FAT. We're supposed to believe that ALR is so mobile and capable but she refuses to do anything that is out of her 600lbs comfort zone. Your facade is trash and we can all see that your life is limited and shitty.

Also. Slommy might be the ugliest of all the partners. What the fuck is this face composition? The rest of ambers ex's just looked deformed from the fat but this one is just retarded looking.

Nose Slider ███████████▒
Chin Slider █▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒

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Also. Slommy might be the ugliest of all the partners.

Remember when Reddit (and even some Kiwis, who I'm judging harshly) were talking about how she was pretty or at least decent looking for a Hambo caretaker? Yeah, no.

She hasn't looked anything but ugly since her first appearance.
The only girlfriend who would look normal if they were a healthy weight would be Becky (Jade is a close second but she's also rough as fuck looking) and she's still not an attractive woman.

Casey looks like a pug dog. Krystal looks like the sped of speds. Dusty is genuinely just gross to look at. Becky has that wonky mouth and bullfrog neck. Jade was your run of the mill butch faced lesbian and Emily looks like Danny Devito's Penguin.

It'll be a cold day in Hell when Hambo bags herself an attractive arse wiper.
 
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