Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

Are you looking forward to seeing Jade's face on camera?

  • Yes

    Votes: 550 15.6%
  • No

    Votes: 349 9.9%
  • I don't care

    Votes: 2,620 74.5%

  • Total voters
    3,519
Before the sperging starts about any aircraft going down due to Big Al's big mass, let's learn something about weight distribution on modern airliners. Because while it's a very funny thought, it's kinda really dumb.

Typically an airline will use a predetermined average weight for both luggage and passengers which is regularly reviewed and changes based on season, with passengers likely to be carrying heavier clothing for winter months. (Although luggage figures can be corrected for hold luggage, given that this is weighed at check-in) The figures for AIR OPS will also include general cargo, crew and fuel.

The average for passengers is usually split into categories; Male, Female, Child, and Infant. This average is then used to balance the aircraft in circumstances where the aircraft may have more passengers to the rear or front of the cabin. In circumstances where passenger numbers are low, passengers may be assigned seating that differs from their selected seats to bring the aircraft within AIR OPS Regulations.

In 2020 a Boeing 737 operated by TUI suffered a mistake where they categorised every female passenger as a childs average weight, meaning 38 passengers weighed more than what the loadsheet reflected for calculated mass. The balance of the aircraft was off by a margin of 1.2 metric tones. This was well within the safe operating limitations of the Boeing 737 and safe operation of the aircraft was not compromised at any stage of the flight.

Squeezing this fat idiot into the seat with her ziplock bag of corn syrup derived happiness, her belief that the laws of physics we were taught at school may not actually be true, along with her incessant child-like jabbering will be the only valid concerns for her, the crew and fellow passengers.
 
OKC to Oshkosh, WI is a 14 hour drive.
A first class flight is under $500.
Not if you have to book a whole row of seats to fit your giant shelf ass. She also couldn't walk down the aisle of an airplane so she'd have to somehow book out the entire first row. Plus walking to the gates and standing in line while boarding... nahh she just can't do it.
 
The Phat Cow Chronicles recently did a video completely destroying Amber's timeline and excuses for her recent weight gain (and in other news, water is wet). Still, it's nice to have all of the bullshit consolidated into one video:


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OKC to Oshkosh, WI is a 14 hour drive.
A first class flight is under $500.
Lexington to OKC was about 15-16 hours, so she probably thinks that it'll be a cakewalk (for her - not like she has to drive any of it). Swelleeeen for dayssss.

So, will Emily be driving the 14 hours to OKC, only to immediately drive 14 hours back? Or do you think Amber will pester Kristine to be her chauffeur, only to then become the awkward 3rd wheel during Ambo's passionate lesbian sexcapades?

I'm sure it's not quite as bad as I'm making it out to be. In fact, the reality of it might be similar to this (only fatter and with more snacks):
 
Absolutely hilarious!

Who in their right mind would drive a shrieking, feeding, quarter ton deathfat anywhere for 14+ hours? Trapped in a car with her mindless babbling, her whining due to "muh laayhs are seeping" and her aggressive demands to get junk food along the way. Sounds like pure nightmare fuel.

I highly doubt it was Mommalynn who drove her fat ass. Getting on a coach would be out of the question because "muh anxieeety" and "muh ass-shelf".
The only backwards kinda person I can possibly think of who is mentally ill enough to pull this madness off is the shameless murderer herself: Tommy Slommy.

Let the feeding commence...
 
Has Amber ever been on an airplane?
She has talked about flying being that she is scared to get on a plane (?)

And in early 2020 she talked about the struggles and not being able to fly and travel - and would bring this up in the recent videos from time to time.

It's probably a mixture of both fear and embarrassment. She won't be able to fit in those restrooms on that plane. She would make the news if she managed to get in but stuck and couldn't get out.
 
didn't she say tommy bought her own plane ticket the first time she visited? to now have to pick Amber up, drive 14 hours, then she'll have to drive another 14 hours to drop Amber off back home, then drive ANOTHER 14 hours to drive herself back home unless she rents a car and takes a plane back home. I guess with Colleen she could just fly back and forth to visit her so the long distance was easier. this will probably be a one time thing, I can't imagine doing that over 24 hours driving trip every month.
 
Has Amber ever been on an airplane?
Didn't she tell some story years ago about how when her and her brother were in foster care they were flying somewhere and the airline staff had to take her aside to tell her she'd need two seats which her foster family paid for after much cryeeeeeeeen and balleeeeeen (not bawling because she's an illiterate spastic) her eyes out? She must have been in her teens and at least 200 el bees lighter so the chances of her getting on a plane now are less than zero.
 
so shes trying to get people speculating about her moving in with her feeder by buying luggage. yawn. and didnt she already have luggage?

says the guy at the vape shop thought she was 'in her lower 20's' with 'a baby face' (yeah fucking right).except she says it like it just happened but then says "i thought about it all day" so... apparently its bc shes barely wearing makeup since slommy says shes beautiful without it. definitely not bc she always stops trying after she has a new caretaker on the hook.
He probably said- you do NOT look the age on your ID (you look 55).. and yet you ACT and SPEAK like you’re in you early 20’s… and your face looks like Baby Huey’s.

It’s either selective hearing OR (more likely) IT NEVER HAPPENED.
 
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Didn't she tell some story years ago about how when her and her brother were in foster care they were flying somewhere and the airline staff had to take her aside to tell her she'd need two seats which her foster family paid for after much cryeeeeeeeen and balleeeeeen (not bawling because she's an illiterate spastic) her eyes out? She must have been in her teens and at least 200 el bees lighter so the chances of her getting on a plane now are less than zero.
Yes, it's "TOO FAT TO FIT ON A PLANE!!!" posted 7 years ago. https://youtu.be/0cPYAK_Qo2g?si=9mjLND_SFbWnFboy
People were ripping her to shreds in the comments for being a lazy, entitled fatass and calling out her claim of being 18 and still in foster care when this happened.

She looks like a sloppy middle-aged troon in the second pic
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Really wondering who hauled Amber‘s sizable shelf ass up there. Doesn’t Alexis also live in Wisconsin? She went radio silent a while ago, and never really seemed done with Amber. Alexis mentioned feeling hurt over Amber never visiting her. I wonder if Alexis drove Amber to reunite with her beloved.
 
Remember being in a car for any length of time makes her swolleeen so when she inevitably weighs in and has gained another stone over night it's definitely because of the travelling and not Justin Feeder funneling lard down her throat.
Really wondering who hauled Amber‘s sizable shelf ass up there. Doesn’t Alexis also live in Wisconsin? She went radio silent a while ago, and never really seemed done with Amber. Alexis mentioned feeling hurt over Amber never visiting her. I wonder if Alexis drove Amber to reunite with her beloved.
Tin foil hat time, but her and Alexis are definitely still in contact and I will not be convinced otherwise. Amber is still doing that stupid "nyeeeeooooo" and "seeeeew hectiiiic" shit that she picked up from the greasy spic and affectations like that are usually dropped the instant whoever she picked it up from disappears from her life. Amberlynn is the Troll Queen after all!
 
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