Tl;dw: opening shot of fatty wearing that black woollen mesh shirt, claims her mom was excited about her coming back to Oklahoma so she could go to her Christmas party (work related). We're then at the Christmas party, where first we see some actual fucking slop like wtf-
Gray looking mashed potatoes, gravy, a sad looking piece of bread, meat(?) dryer than a desert (or Hambo's sex life) and green beans.
Now we get to the part that is almost certainly illegal and absolutely should be if it's not: Exotic animals, many of which have close to no history of domestication, being passed around at a loud party like commodities for a bunch of inconsiderate fucks to amuse themselves with. I
could go on an enraged and angry tirade, but I'd rather get this wrapped up, so I'll just say fuck everyone involved in organizing this shit and those that participate. We see Amber and Methmomma harass a baby kangaroo, a bearded dragon, an otter, who, by the way tries to rescue the choker from suffering fatty's folds
Our intrepid hero recoiling from stench hitherto unbeknownst in his quest to save the choker.
Sadly, he doesn't succeed, we then see a skink, an animal I'm not even sure Amber could name, looking incredibly displeased about this situation in general.
Hmmm...
Yes.
Next, we see Hambo don a snake that recently shed. After that, she harasses a lemur and an armadillo that's curled up (Newsflash Catkiller&Animalabuserlynn, that means it's trying to defend itself.)
(Alr, AN situation type deal here but CILF just got back from a session of board games and drinks with the family so apologies if I get a lil' heated.)
(Like this visual of Cat Killer Hellbound Hambeast holding a frightened nocturnal animal already makes my blood boil but I'll move on before I get
too emotional.)
We're now back home after this day of harassing animals (let's just hope that this cunt didn't leave any doors open this time.) Hambo got 20$ from her mom's boss giving out envelopes and we get a torrid haul. Thankfully, we are spared the visual of our lard golem trying on new tarps (lazy fucking bitch this is literally your only job). She does make the interesting claim though that the point of mesh clothing is to be tight. Ehrm, no fatty try again, mesh is more commonly used for its breathability and temprature regulation, or to be a whore at the club showing off your goods (I'm more inclined to think she's doing it for the latter). Talks more about the flower coloring book she got Emily Franz, allegedly responding to viewer requests.
Anyway, in the next scene fatty has her hair in that extra shit bun again. Talks about how she doesn't know what to wear at times. Shows us what she might plan to wear during the holidays, teases a potential livestream but we'll see Ig.
Also what the hell is this Pac-Man thing? Since when has she had this?
In any case, orders herself dinner from Red Lobster. Holy fuck she just said excuse me in the most annoying fucking way. She eats the dynamite shrimp and some noodle dish. Says she won't eat the entire fucking thing off-screen. Holy shit, also eats ice cream and chocolate cake, fat fuck. So now she- guurrrghhhruuhh?????
Fatty fucking salts the rest of the cake and pasta.
Instead of just developing even the tiniest shred of willpower, fatty just salts the shit to make it inedible. If this is baiting for rage it's working because I'm starting to get MATI. Fatty says that you gotta do what you gotta do to prevent yourself from overeating and you shouldn't let people shame you for it. Well, I say people who do shit like this should be subjected to public beatings but what do I know
.
Anyway, the end is finally in sight as fatso gives her vlogmas outro speech. It's nothing worth noting, just her congratulating herself on doing the bare minimum and vague my feelsing over her relationship, also mentions the Bubble E-Lich concert. Claims holding a baby kangaroo was always a drea, for her (how...specific).
So we're ending it with fanart and-
Hmph. I thought we weren't gonna acknowledge Rarity anymore.
Lmao nice smush face.
WaterloggedCorpseLynn.
AU where our girl has FAS or smth.
This doesn't even look like Amber lol.
Gives me YDHB vibes tbh.
This looks like something you'd see in WarioWare if you failed the MicroGame.
Looks off.
Alr, funny joke whoever made this, but why tf did you frame it?
And with that, Vlogmas is over at long fucking last.
