Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

I think I found a writing contest Amber could actually win. The Lyttle Lytton contest.

http://adamcadre.ac/lyttle.html


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About Lyttle Lytton

The annual Bulwer‐Lytton Fiction Contest challenges entrants to pen the world’s most atrocious first line to a novel.  Winners (and runners‐up and honorable mentions) are generally very long. 

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.” — Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, Paul Clifford (1830)

Announcing the 2017 Contest Winners
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The rules to the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest are childishly simple:

Each entry must consist of a single sentence but you may submit as many entries as you wish. (One fellow once submitted over 3,000 entries.)

Sentences may be of any length but we strongly recommend that entries not go beyond 50 or 60 words. Entries must be “original” (as it were) and previously unpublished.

Surface mail entries should be submitted on index cards, the sentence on one side and the entrant's name, address, and phone number on the other.

E-mail entries should be in the body of the message, not in an attachment (and it would be really swell if you submitted your entries in Arial 12 font). One e-mail may contain multiple entries.

Entries will be judged by categories, from “general” to detective, western, science fiction, romance, and so on. There will be overall winners as well as category winners.

The official deadline is April 15 (a date that Americans associate with painful submissions and making up bad stories). The actual deadline is June 30.

The contest accepts submissions every day of the livelong year.

Wild Card Rule: Resist the temptation to work with puns like “It was a stark and dormy night.“

Finally, in keeping with the gravitas, high seriousness, and general bignitude of the contest, the grand prize winner will receive … a pittance.
 
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I watched an old episode of My 600 Pound Life last night (2017) about twins who were morbidly obese. One of the twins weighed only 87 more pounds than AL currently. These two were able to get their shit together and lost a ton of weight (one even nearly died) but it just goes to show how fucking much AL has let herself go over the last four years.

Even two years ago she had that video where she has to smack down the rumors about her going on My 600 Pound Life. She addresses whether she is even eligible to be on the show by saying she isn't at that level ... that the people who are on that show can't do things for themselves (not true - these twins were independent) and these people don't have a job :lol: (she then goes on to say she has a job, which she might have back in 2016 at this time...maybe it was that "government" job). And the topper, "I'm 460 lbs - not 600!"

40 pounds, and two years later, she's 500. Maybe it's time for a new list of excuses on why she won't ever apply to be on that show? 8)
 
I watched an old episode of My 600 Pound Life last night (2017) about twins who were morbidly obese. One of the twins weighed only 87 more pounds than AL currently. These two were able to get their shit together and lost a ton of weight (one even nearly died) but it just goes to show how fucking much AL has let herself go over the last four years.

Even two years ago she had that video where she has to smack down the rumors about her going on My 600 Pound Life. She addresses whether she is even eligible to be on the show by saying she isn't at that level ... that the people who are on that show can't do things for themselves (not true - these twins were independent) and these people don't have a job :lol: (she then goes on to say she has a job, which she might have back in 2016 at this time...maybe it was that "government" job). And the topper, "I'm 460 lbs - not 600!"

40 pounds, and two years later, she's 500. Maybe it's time for a new list of excuses on why she won't ever apply to be on that show? 8)
I'd love for her to get on that show. Not so she gets help (though wouldn't care if it actually did help), but so we can get a Penny 2.0 I'd watch that on repeat. It'd be so much better than this past month
 
I posted this on the main thread for her, but it fits here too.
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The second photo is still obviously an obese woman. She has two chins, a weird ridge around the base of her neck where the fat is pushed up, and big sad fat tiddies mashed together up to her clavicle.
 
The approaching-spherical face, despite close-lens distortion, is almost a remarkable achievement. I also hadn't noticed she has some kind of second row of tit going on between her breasts and gut. Does science even have a name for this?
 
So AL has this new weight loss app Twinbody.

FIND YOUR BODY DOUBLE AND CONNECT

Imagine a news feed full of body doubles just like yourself – Awesome determined people who have the same body as yourself as well as the same body goals and health preferences like yourself. We made twinbody® so you can find sympathy from people just like you.

Same body measures as you

Same body goals as you

Same health preferences

Hm, weight loss buddies or looking for her next lesbian victim? Can we handle TWO Amber sized gorls?
 
“I didn’t think I looked this big”

Oh! Come on. You weigh a quarter of a ton and have to use an industrial cargo scale to weigh yourself... I could understand a certain level of denial from a 250-lb person but even denial has its limits. You sorta should have realized the magnitude of your monstrosity by the time you needed two acres of cotton for a single shirt.
 
I posted this on the main thread for her, but it fits here too.
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The second photo is still obviously an obese woman. She has two chins, a weird ridge around the base of her neck where the fat is pushed up, and big sad fat tiddies mashed together up to her clavicle.

Her shirt says “Feeling Tropical”. Perhaps more like a tropical storm...
 
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