An Argument for the reconstruction of arange marriage? - Could an arrange marriage have saved Chris Chan and Elliot Rodger?

[Drkinferno72]

Course it won’t work, the brides family is gonna want someone of value

 

[Johan Schmidt]

Arranged marriages would only work in a highly homogeneous society, with high trust and a good deal of hierarchy within the family. We don't have any of those things.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

I don't see how they could work in a free society. They're probably useful to some degree in theory but I think that's over with.

 

[Kill a Troon for Pikamee]

Arranged marriage is of course perfectly fine and Biblical, but your understanding of it is off.

Any healthy social system is based on the fact that women are property. First a woman is a daughter, a property of her father, then she gets sold by the father to another man, and becomes the property of her husband. It's a simple, elegant, time-tested and God-approved system. Of course a woman can choose not to abide it and become a prostitute by leasing herself to men on an hourly basis as opposed to becoming the property of a man under a long-term contract.

In the Bible, men are described as paying anything from 15 to even 50 didrachmons of pure silver for a wife. One didrachmon is around 12g of silver, but gold to silver ratio back then was like 1:10 and not 1:75 like today. Taking fertility inflation into consideration I think even a medium-class wife could easily cost you around $50,000-$60,000 under Biblical laws

Incels and retards would still be fucked because they want a supermodel pornstar tradwife, and with their low intelligence and social standing they would only be able to afford a girl equally useless as they are, so someone like Chris would only be able to marry a disgusting smelly retarded woman, possibly even a lesbian with fungus-ridden toes. And even then Bob & Barb would probably rather buy anything else rather than waste money on yet another retard they'd have to clothe and feed

 

[Zero Day Defense]

Arranged marriages don't always work. The only one I've ever known that actually ended up as a happy/faithful marriage was between an Indian coworker and his wife. It only worked because they happened to be friends before their families arranged everything.

In my first year of university, I worked as a receptionist for the visual arts department. The chair of the department, an Indian woman, briefly described the difference between western marriage and eastern (arranged) marriage as the difference in order of marrying and learning to love-- in a western marriage, it's expected that the two parties grow to love each other before marrying, whereas in the eastern (arranged) marriage it's expected for them to grow to love each other after the marriage.

Arranged marriages aren't necessarily better than the "free" marriages that the west has grown accustomed to, but there are definitely safety measures that wouldn't exist in the latter category such as the involvement of two entire families in order to better promote marriage stability (since part of the motivation of an arranged marriage is that they consider it a joining of two whole families rather than only two people). That, and in cultures where this occurs, there's also pressure from the community to keep the union together.

This isn't necessarily good when the husband is battering the wife-- or vice versa-- but for struggles not as severe as that, it's valuable.

 

[DerKryptid]

Arrange the setup, but don't make the follow-through compulsory. Basically play matchmaker with your kids and nothing more

 

[MistressCaridad]

Is this what they meant when they said 'India will be a Superpower by 2020'?

“Show bobs and vagene”

RE: Elliot Rodger- dude was a spoilt little bitch boy whose parents enabled his spoilt bitch behavior. No matter what he had, he was never satisfied with it. Had his parents arranged a marriage for him to a young Brigitte Bardot lookalike from a stupidly rich family, he’d still have found something to cry and bitch about.

 

[AnimeGirlConnoisseur]

Short answer: It is not as good as you think it is. Some people shouldn't get married.

Spoiler: a bit of powerleveling

To elaborate on my previous point, I've seen a few immigrant families that were formed under arraigned marriages. There are many successful examples where you have two people that love each other (or at the very least put up with each other) and produce happy and successful children. The problem is that not every arraigned marriage is like this. I'm not going to name any names, but I've seen some people have serious mental problems, some of which are basically undocumented lolcows, get paired together with other people that aren't well and the end result is horrible. They produce families where you've got kids (who have less than stellar genetics to begin with) being raised by people who should never be parents. Sometimes you have grandparents or siblings of the parents step in and try to help, but they can only do so much; especially when the siblings have their own lives and families to deal with and when the grandparents are retirees that don't even speak English. These are pretty horrible situations and I don't think you would want to create them, especially if you consider the fact that most of the people in successful arraigned marriages would probably do alright if they had to deal with the western dating system.

 

[Ishtar]

There are benefits and drawbacks to arranged marriages.

It also depends on what you value most as a society(and as parents). Is it keeping wealth in the family or building ties and alliances? Or do you believe that individual happiness is more important?

Arranged marriages historically were often loveless and cold, hence why mistresses were tolerated(at least for some men), and they could develop into warm and loving relationships or simple indifference and sometimes you had vicious hatred and resentment between people who didn’t ever want to be together.

Today, we have dating apps and personality matches and other such tools-so in theory you could have parents network to find eligible partners for their children. That said this would have some drawbacks(depending on perspective)-it would solidify class divides and put pressure on families to develop these sorts of connections if they wanted their children to find good matches.

I don’t think most people want to be forced into a marriage with a stranger though, or told “sorry honey, tell your SO it’s done, we got you someone who will make us rich”. You can mitigate that by making divorce impossible and having social norms that penalize rebelling against it-thereby the only option is “suck it up and put a ring on her finger-or if you really don’t want it, your on your own, no inheritance for you”.

Apologies if I rambled-point is bringing back arranged marriages brings with it it’s own problems.

That said, it could probably help a lot of people who don’t have the social and emotional skill set for modern dating to get married thus preventing a lot of the strife and resentment we have today.

TLDR: It’s a toss up and depends on what is most important to the society in question. If you really want to solve the “incel” problem it probably is the best option.

*someone above pointed out that low status people would still be unhappy/screwed. True they’d only be able to get spouses that were “in their league” but they’d at least be having children and not watching onlyfans.

 

[Sperghetti]

Every time someone makes this argument, all I hear is “You know, parents should really be able to sell off their children as sex slaves and breeding stock to the highest bidder. That would really fix society.”

 

[Ronnie McNutt]

in todays society it wouldnt work due to destruction of culture.

for an arranged marriage to work there must be some sort of culture, like religion

 

[Tree]

There are many different circumstances, but consider a time when people weren't so self centered and attached to worldly things that they didn't have to be in charge of determining what's best, and that things picked for them by fate weren't inherently some sort of injustice. Just one angle that can be used to argue in its favor is that of indecision. Should I buy this computer part or that? Take this job or the other? Should I call her back or not? We spend hours comparing differences worth less than the time we give to them, and sometimes we decide not to commit at all, choosing not to wait for not a better decision as much as one that's easier to make. Arranged marriages alleviate this and put faith in the judgment of those who are in a better position to make them; past being horny, foolish, and fickle, parents who know married life themselves. Well meaning parents strive to choose a pairing that best furthers the goals of the family, and as long as that divine purpose is foremost in mind, it grants them the right to make that choice.

Customs of course varied, some more strict than others, but the practice of arranged marriage doesn't preclude people pairing themselves and then asking for approval from parents, or more generally parents taking the judgement of the prospectives in to account.

As a side note, because I can't help but take snipes, you'll find modern arguments and the people making them are a result of weak families. Degeneracy, immigration, democracy. Even, and perhaps especially, libertarianism.

Edit: As others have said in so many words, this doesn't work well for weak families. That being said, do the strong families themselves or the practices which make them strong come first?

 

[DaddyCowboy]

Even if arranged marriages were a thing again, most basement dwellers would still be single, due to the fact that people want to marry their kids off to someone with a lot of wealth and prospects, rather than to the guy who never showers and spends all day binge-watching anime.

 

[Ishtar]

One other point is modern society is too individualistic/self driven for it to work. Watch any movies/tv shows/books with arranged marriage as a plot device-its 100% of the time treated as something imposed on the young heroine for her to rebel against, or at least a major cause of angst and tragedy for the hero.

In premodern times-the notion of "the self, Me is most important" wasn't there, sure people had their own desires but social expectations and internalized norms told people "do as your mother and father command, it may not be what you want but not doing it is either futile or will simply lead you to ruin".

How many young people today would stomach their parents telling them they are marrying a stranger, or someone they have no physical or emotional attachment or attraction too?

To bring back arranged marriage, you need to bring back the social norms and value sets that went with it.

 

[Billy Beer]

Sometimes it works out. I worked with an Indian lad, second generation, who was full of charisma and a great guy, but he was a manlet and...well, indian.

The woman who he was marrying looked like she was straight out of a Bollywood Playboy. That man now spends his life grinning from ear to ear like he has won the lottery.

Sometimes it works out aight.

 

[PissPool]

The thing with modern arranged marriages is that the woman (or man) is often free to reject it. No woman would ever agree to marry people like them unless they didn’t realize what they were getting into. It’s easy to tell that Chris is a tard from the first few seconds of seeing him, but maybe Elliot could have held it together for a few meetings to fool someone. The parents would probably be able to sniff them out though, since they often do extensive interviews and research to decide if the match is a good one. It also means you need even more to offer since love isn’t a factor. An incel NEET would be just as undesirable in such a situation.

 

[AnimeGirlConnoisseur]

Apologies for the necropost, but I just wanted to introduce everyone to one of the best arguments against arranged marriages: https://kiwifarms.net/threads/james-white-jamescagewhite-cheng-xi.92853/

 

[EpicGamerMoment]

In arranged marriages the girl still has to like you for the marriage to happen

 

[GoysGoneWild]

Mommy and daddy are not going to arrange pussy for you.

This is what it always boils down to with these fucking retarded debates. Someone just wanting the hard work of finding a suitable mate to be outsourced to their fucking parents.

If you want to see what happens to the males of a culture after enough arranged marriage, look at India. Indian men are the most spoiled, incapable, and generally helpless men out there when it comes to women.

I understand the current dating situation in the west being totally fucked. But the answer is to ban social media and dating apps, and promote shit that makes young people think they can make a satisfying go of it with someone who isn't necessarily the top 1% of either sex. Arranged marriage is just kicking the can down the road, and placing the burden on your parents. The burden is still there.

 

[Wesley Willis]

Their lives are meaningless and everyone else should be left out of it.